I HOPE LOVING ME ISN’T THE HARDEST THING ANYONE HAS TO DO.

Contains TOG spoilers........

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But first....... Lucien ☀️🔥

Thoughts slammed into me, images and memories, a pattern of thinking and feeling that was old, and clever, and sad, so endlessly sad and guilt-ridden, hopeless—

"all the sounds that Lucien so carefully sorted through while he kept watch."

Like Rhys, he usually opted for words to win his battles.

“I trust in the fact that we currently have possession of the one thing he wants above all else. And as long as that remains, he’ll try to stay on our good side. But if that changes …"

"His talent was wasted in the Spring Court."

"There was a reason he had that fox mask, you know."

No wonder he’d been so eager to head alone into Velaris that day he’d gone to help us research. I shot a look at Rhys. Seems like Lucien can still play the fox.

“Lucien can’t be entirely trusted anymore.”. “Lucien might mean well, but any reports would be skewed—even if he isn’t aware of it—in their favor.

Lucien stared out the window—as if he could see the lake across a sea and a continent. As if he were setting his target.

“Eyes can be blinded,” Nesta said. “Not the ones under my command,” Azriel said with soft menace.

"Lucien will never be good enough"

“There are others in your court as delusional as you are. They’ll get it for me one way or another, with the right incentive.

I'd be surprised if we don't get a super clever scheme in Elucien's book, courtesy of Lucien.

SJM has previously said Dorian and Lucien would be great friends and we know that Dorian was not only extremely powerful with raw power that be could shape as he desired but he was also very cunning. In KOA, he took two of the Wyrdkeys and tracked down Maeve to find the third. Maeve asked Dorian to work with her, explaining that she wants the keys so she can get rid of Erawen and his brothers for good.

Dorian agrees, asking her to bring the spiders to his side and he will marry her, giving her a new Kingdom to rule over.

In a later chapter, Maeve slips into Dorians mind, using her powers to control him but the entire time he's been tricking her, using her own power against her (a Valg!) to learn how hers actually work, taking over her mind instead.

There's already notable similarities between Dorian and Lucien, their polished persona's, their fathers both had them held down and forced them to watch the execution of the woman they loved, unknown magical powers, hints at Lucien being extremely powerful as Dorian was powerful, and their intelligence.

SJM has also pointed out how Rhys and Lucien share a likeness in how they use their words to fight battles and we know Rhys often schemes, having others question his intentions only to find out he had some wildly clever plot going the whole time.

I could easily see her having Lucien do something similar. Maybe he'll have a plan for Koschei or the Human Queens that he didn't inform the others of, something Elain becomes suspicious about and starts following him (Mr. and Mrs. Smith anyone? It would be even better if this followed the arranged marriage trope 😂).

The others acknowledge Lucien is clever and insightful yet they still underestimate him. You can tell they look at him as a tool for when it benefits their own purpose rather than viewing him as an equal, a force to be reckoned with.

I'd also love if it led to Az eating a bit of humble pie. He's so certain of Lucien being unworthy, imagine if Lucien managed to outsmart Az and his shadows.

In case someone doesn't know how to make a "keep reading" on mobile:

I've seen some nerve-racking 10k fics that don't have the cut and in their worst, they're also full of media like "this is a picture of what you're wearing, this is the view you're seeing from your hotel room, here's a gif how x looks at you in this scene" = Tumblr app struggles to load that wall of text and media and then Tumblr app crashes and when asked to put the cut, people are like "I'm on mobile and can't put the cut" so here's a little tutorial video for you guys.

I know this is a problem with all characters but tagging some popular ones to gain exposure for this post.

Phony Stark is now tacitly endorsing racist Ron DeSantis

ACOTAR if the books were written from Tamlin's perspective

Exploring the nuance that the fandom often overlooks.

The ACOTAR series is told in first-person perspective. Although this allows us insight into the inner workings of certain character's minds, it also means that these accounts can be biased, or lacking nuance. To this day, Tamlin's perspective has not been shared, and I want to attempt to do that.

Please note that although the books were predominately told from Feyre's viewpoint, it doesn't mean that her thoughts and feelings are invalid. I am also not condoning Tamlin's actions (explaining ≠ excusing). These are fictional books; breaking them down and considering different angles is of great merit - even if you don't personally agree.

The story of Tamlin; how it all started.

Tamlin grew up in an extremely violent and abusive household - the extent of which largely remains unknown to the readers. We do know that his parents did not love each other, and that his father and two older brothers were canonically worse than Lucien's (and we know how bad they are).

Tamlin's father was even friends with the King of Hybern and Amarantha; two of the most insidious individuals in Prythian. In fact, Tamlin's father would regularly drag him along to visit them. It was during these visits that Amarantha grew to desire Tamlin, presumably when he was still rather young.

Amarantha then continued to sexually harass Tamlin for centuries. As readers, we do not know exactly what Amarantha did to Tamlin during that time; he is yet to open up about it.

An unlikely ruler.

Tamlin never wanted to rule the Spring Court. He stated that if he did, his brothers would have killed him "before he could reach adolescence." As a result, his only choice was to join the brutality of the army.

Instead, what Tamlin actually wanted was to become a travelling musician, spending his days playing the fiddle.

However, when Tamlin's entire family was (justifiably) murdered by Rhys and his father, he was forced into the role of High Lord of the Spring Court. Unlike Rhys, Tamlin had no friends or Inner Circle to help him, or to offer him support.

Although Tamlin rightfully shares the blame in what happened to Rhys's family, we still never received his version of events. Many have theorised that Tamlin was tortured by his brothers and father for the information about Rhys's family (as at this point, Tamlin and Rhys were best friends); I believe this to be likely.

Whatever the circumstances, one thing was now clear - Tamlin was entirely alone.

A reign ravaged by Amarantha.

Despite the circumstances, Tamlin does his best to rule the Spring Court. Although he is still largely inexperienced, he is vigilant about not following in the footsteps of his abusive father and brothers.

However, his efforts are halted when Amarantha, the woman who has relentlessly sexually and romantically pursued him for years, curses his entire court, and turns his heart to stone. Tamlin is forced to watch all of his companions and court advisors either die, or suffer tremendously, as a result of the curse.

Despite this, Tamlin does what he can for his people - even those outside of his court; offering shelter and employment to countless refugees.

In fact, when one of Tamlin's civilians was killed by Amarantha, he carried the faerie in his arms and into the gardens. He then buried the faerie with his own hands; "a High Lord, digging a grave for a stranger."

Meeting Feyre; the beginning of the end.

By chance or fate, Tamlin met Feyre Archeron. She was the first person he had ever loved in 500 years - the only one to make him feel "less alone."

Tamlin brought Feyre's family out of poverty and healed her father's leg. He rebuilt the art gallery for her. He was the first person to recognise the sacrifices she had made for her family. Most of all, Tamlin fell in love with Feyre in her human form - exactly as she was, with no mating bond to biologically pull her to him.

Prior to the events of Under the Mountain, Tamlin tells Feyre that he is "not her jailor." He tells her that she doesn't need a "keeper," as he kneels before her, and dedicates a song on his fiddle to her.

So, what changed?

Under the Mountain.

Amarantha happened.

Tamlin was forced to witness the woman he loved be brutalised and tortured. Knowing Amarantha was in love with him, Tamlin is powerless to help Feyre; to make his feelings known, means instant death for her. It is why Tamlin gets on his knees and begs Rhys to keep Feyre's identity a secret.

However, Feyre is ultimately killed. She was only brought into this situation because of Tamlin; he is riddled with guilt and despair.

Yet, by some miracle, Feyre is resurrected. Tamlin now has the chance to protect Feyre, to save her, in all the ways he was unable to before.

However, he goes overboard. He becomes possessive and controlling. Despite promising Feyre that he was not her "jailor," he locks her in the manor. He shuts Feyre out. The trauma only festers - for both of them.

Tamlin's behaviour was abusive. Feyre had every right to leave, and she was far better off for it.

Readers react (but, is it fair?)

It is for the above reason that Tamlin is one of the most hated ACOTAR characters. That hatred is justified.

But, where is that same hatred for all other SJM characters who behaved just as badly as Tamlin? Or, those who behaved even worse?

Rhys is still the character who:

Drugged Feyre and made her dance provocatively Under the Mountain (until she threw up). Rhys later admits he did this in part to make Tamlin jealous.

Twisted Feyre's broken arm to enforce consent.

Kept a 24/7 shield around her (the same sort of action Tamlin is criticised for...).

Refused to tell Feyre that her pregnancy would likely be fatal (despite their 'no secrets' promise); stripping her of the autonomy to make decisions over her own body.

Then, threatened to kill Nesta when she revealed this information.

And I hear you - "Rhys was just trying to protect Feyre!" Yet, wasn't that Tamlin's motive too?

This double standard exists for most other SJM characters:

[TOG Spoilers] Rowan, one of the most powerful fae warriors to ever exist, punches Aelin, a 19 year old who is newly discovering her fae abilities, so hard in the face that she hits a wall and bleeds. He then tells her that she should have "died long ago". Tamlin never directly laid his hands on Feyre. Yet, Rowan does, and his behaviour is always excused (and even romanticised). What's more, is that his relationship with Aelin is one of the most highly regarded.

[TOG Spoilers] We then have Manon who committed literal mass genocide for centuries (and delighted in it), even killing her own sister in the process.

There's Azriel who has a twisted affinity for torturing people.

Nesta who was verbally and emotionally abusive towards Feyre throughout their childhood.

Don't get me wrong, I love all of these characters. They are nuanced, morally grey individuals; this complexity is what makes SJM books so great.

Yet, why does this same nuance rarely exist for Tamlin?

Considering the events from Tamlin's perspective.

Readers criticise Tamlin for collaborating with Hybern to 'get Feyre back.' However, from Tamlin's perspective, Rhys was the person who willingly served Amarantha for the past 50 years. Tamlin also believed Rhys's facade that he was the insidious dictator of the infamously cruel Night Court. What's more, Tamlin is also aware of Rhys's mind control powers. So, when he receives a vague letter from Feyre (who as far as he knows, couldn't read and write), of course he is suspicious.

Tamlin truly believes that Rhys has kidnapped Feyre, and that she is in danger. In order to rescue her, Tamlin pretends to work with Hybern. He jeopardises the safety of his civilians, puts his entire court at risk - all to save the woman he loves.

If Rhys sacrificed the Night Court to save Feyre, we would deem it an act of true love. So, why do we condemn Tamlin?

What's more, both readers and characters blame Tamlin for the King of Hybern's actions; that Elain and Nesta went into the Cauldron because of him.

However, as soon as Tamlin realised Hybern's true plans, he blew his cover in an attempt to stop the King. He was the ONLY character who lunged for Hybern in an attempt to save Elain (whilst everyone else stood there in shock).

Shortly after, Tamlin realises that Feyre left him willingly. That she is with Rhys, and they are mates. Then, Lucien, Tamlin's only friend, leaves for the Night Court too.

To top it all off, in an act of revenge, Feyre orchestrates for the downfall of the Spring Court - an action that risks the lives of countless innocent civilians. As a result, Tamlin now has no one. No court.

Tamlin has nothing left.

Tamlin's choice.

If we are all being honest with ourselves, most people in Tamlin's position would feel immense resentment. Many would resort to revenge, just as Feyre did. However, Tamlin never takes this path - he never gives in to the hatred and bitterness that could so easily consume him. He chooses otherwise.

Not only did he turn the tide in the war, saving Feyre and Elain's life;

Not only did he resurrect Rhys - the man who took so much from him;

But above all else, he wished for Feyre to "be happy."

Yet, despite all of this, although most other characters got their happily ever after, Tamlin now roams around the decimated Spring Court. He stays in his beast form, as if he doesn't even feel worthy of being fae - of his humanity. Tamlin is depressed, and very alone. He has always been alone.

To me, his character can be summarised by this quote;

"I sat with my anger long enough, until he told me his real name was grief."

Tamlin's redemption.

Some believe that Tamlin deserves no redemption. That instead, he is better off dead. However, I think that sends a rather grim message to the myriad of people who suffer in the same way that Tamlin does.

To those who externalise their pain, rather than internalise it. To those who were never shown love as a child, and therefore struggle to display it as an adult. To those who were hurt by the people they trusted most, so they hurt others in return. To those who still hold onto guilt over their past. To those who try to be a better person, but still feel like a failure deep down.

That doesn't mean that Tamlin's past actions should be excused, or even forgiven, But, just like every other character, it does mean he should have the chance to heal.

In her most recent interview, SJM says it herself; that no character is doomed to be an "asshole" forever, and that any day you could choose to wake up and be a better person - to live a better life.

A fairytale ending.

Ultimately, ACOTAR was inspired by Beauty and the Beast, and Tamlin is the perfect personification of the Beast. Not just for his shapeshifting form, as we came to believe in the first book. But rather, just as the Beast in the fairytale was a man haunted by his past mistakes, so too is Tamlin.

Yet, as the tale goes, the Beast's once hardened exterior begins to melt away, and he is able to look towards the world with kindness. To love again. To love himself. When this happened, the enchanted rose came back to life.

I believe this foreshadows what will occur with Tamlin in future books. As he begins to heal, to find his place in the world, he will blossom.

And, so too will the Spring Court gardens around him - vibrant again, once more.

Fuck all love letters except whatever Cardan Greenbriar had going on when he wrote “my heart is buried with you in the strange soil of the mortal world, as it was drowned with you in the cold waters of the undersea. it was yours before i could admit it, and yours it shall ever remain”

random things i hear pt 1

person 1: “what’s a quail?”

person 2: “a fish, you dumbass.”

Reflection, c. 2020 Daniel F. Gerhartz (American, born 1965)

Hoi I love your works and stories. I would love to write boba fett but have no idea how. Any tips for first time boba fett writers ?

ksjflfjfdksujslfj anon thank you so much 💖🥹😭

I am but an untrained, babey writer myself but I can tell you how I crafted my approach to writing Boba!

Step 1, be obsessed with Boba Fett since childhood, grow up, rediscover your love for him and Temuera Morrison as a slightly unhinged adult.

What hopefully is not just pure rambling below the cut

I watched The Mandalorian (specifically Boba's episodes in season 2) and TBOBF a concerning amount of times, and scoured Tumblr/AO3 for fics of our fav green tin can man. Got comfy with the character, figured out what drives him, what his motivations are, what his worldview and outlook are like. Essentially, my process boiled down to the following:

Immerse myself in the source content

Read, read, read & comment, comment, comment

Talking to the authors who inspired me (like you're doing now!)

Just started writing any and everything that came to me

Read some more, commented some more

Kept writing, saved everything

Got feedback

Now obviously everyone will have their own interpretations of a character, but to me, much of Boba's outlook and personality are defined by the death of his father. He is an intelligent boy raised with love by one of the galaxy's best bounty hunters, who teaches him not only about survival but also honor, respect, and personal responsibility. Jango was far from perfect (as we all are) but he did genuinely love his son and didn't hide that from Boba.

Besides the obvious trauma of seeing his father beheaded in front of him, Boba experienced a lifetime of further trauma that would have easily made him go back on what his father instilled in him. He was angry and he was alone during this time, his motivations being centered in anger and inexorable control (as seen in his drive to keep his reputation as a hunter stellar). To him, others were a liability, caring about anyone would only lead to pain. Boba burned bright and hot, but ultimately this path was not sustainable.

After the sarlacc and his time with the Tuskens, Boba was able to grow past the shadow of his father's death--there were different ways to honor his father than just being the best. He could heal himself, lead with respect and principles that harken back to his grandfather's code (whether he knows that or not), live a life that didn't have to end on some pointless job for the galaxy's scum. Boba relearned the importance of clan, that one cannot face this existence alone. Daimyo Boba now burns strong and even, fed by hearty logs rather than dry kindling.

Some posts I found helpful in characterizing Boba:

Boba's love language is acts of service by @thefact0rygirl

The spectrum of dom/general sexual behavior in Star Wars men by @rexxdjarin

Me and @rexxdjarin's comments on her Afflictions fic

Post

Post

Boba is funny send tweet

Boba's got a way with (written) words

Boba and words 2

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Boba is the sun

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Boba's relationship with being Mandalorian by @deewithani

There's obvs many more but these are the ones I could find again

I hope this was what you were looking for (and coherent lmao) and best of luck with your writing! We all can't wait to see what you come up with for our beloved Boba 💚

No pressure tags if some of these other Boba writers (and anyone else!) want to add anything to this: @rexxdjarin @thefact0rygirl @saradika @acatalystrising @thirsty-boba-fett-posts @bobathirstaccount @deewithani @writingwintermoon

FYI everyone sometimes medication for mental illness is the only option (read my exp w meds and depression below)

Since the age of 8 I showed signs of depression. This was unfortunately ignored by family though I have family history of depression. I though my symptoms were myself just "growing up" and every day I lived in dread that the lack of happiness was how the rest of my life would be lived. During my teenage years this got significantly worse, leading to self harm and suicidal ideation among other things like recklessness/lack of care with my own life.

This illness followed me until I started therapy in my twenties. Two years of sessions on and off definitely helped. I saw three different therapists and still the sadness/numbness remained. I was diagnosed with dysthymia.

I started medication, and over the course of a year and a half, went on to two different types. I tapered off after the second med made me gain a ton of weight. I was terrified that the crushing sadness would come back, but tapered off.

I've been off meds for about a year and feel so completely normal. Change is possible, don't let anyone shame you into thinking you don't need ut when you've tried everything. One of my therapists refused to give me a referral for meds because they didn't understand dysthymia. If you think you need the help, DO IT! you know yourself and your body and mind better than anyone.