Why Are There So Many Commercials For Toilet Paper? Who Is Not Buying It?

“No matter how hard you try,you can never make someone love you.”

— (via thegoodvybe)

http://linkedin.com/in/susan-baatz-61210794

(by Owlgardens)

Baby orgasms

Sex After Death

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there was sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact. “Judy, Judy.”

“Is that you, George?“

"Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“That’s wonderful!? What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch, you’d be proud, lots of greens. Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it’s back to golf course again. Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much-needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.”

“Oh, George, are you in Heaven?“

"No, I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”