Pewnewsgloriaborger - Call Me J 💕

Listen up. There is literally an app that can help you avoid self harm and I don’t know why we aren’t talking about it.

Calm Harm can be tailored to your needs and will provide strategies to help you get past those crucial moments of wanting to harm.

It’s also totally FREE.

once again, it’s called CALM HARM

anyone please ask your crush out like this

Freelancing in technical theater means you’re on a lot of different email lists. People need a crew, they send out an email, you respond with your availability. Now, most people start these with things like “hey folks” or “hi everyone”. Neal is not most people.

His openers started off innocent enough.

Then, he started to push boundaries.

And as you can see, it has spiraled out of control since then.

‘enemies to lovers’ sure okay, but nothing wil ever beat THIS dynamic

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

no effing way dude, who broke this vase? who broke this vase? seriously guys, everyone who is here at my awesome party, this huge crowd of people (that’s definitely here right now) somebody broke my grandma’s vase and that was the last thing she gave to me before she died. I swear to all things football and/or skateboarding. I will find you. don’t make me cry these incredibly manly tears. anyone can speak up here and be a part of this scene. especially those of us who aren’t imagined and are actually here on the stage, like not the people who are imagined to be here through means of suspension of disbelief. very well, I shall continue searching for the culprit in the next room. stefanie, you wanna bake some cookies?

if you understand this i love you very much

i love my ballerina life lmao

i dont know the context but i cant stop watching this tiktok

the drama???? the energy???? the facial expressions???

this brings me joy i cant explain

he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

angsty bonus:

after a long and heartfelt hug he and Iroh had The Talk™ gay edition

This footage of Elmo after messing up a take on Sesame Street is peak relatable