S I G N A L B O O S T

When You Go To A Haunted House, It May Seem Like You’re Being Funny By Trying To Scare The Actors Or

When you go to a haunted house, it may seem like you’re being funny by trying to scare the actors or jump out at them when you go through a second time, but guess what? ITS NOT FUNNY.

You pay us to scare you. It is your choice to go, so don’t fucking go through if you’re going to ignore the rules and get too close to the actors as a ‘joke’.

These bruises happened because over the course of 4 hours, several people ignored the instructions that CLEARLY stated that they were to wait in the front room until told otherwise. Rather than listen, they ran into the next room and slammed into me- effectively throwing me into the wall. This didn’t only happen once. It happened ten times at LEAST.

Then we had this asshole who thought that once I ‘died’ for the haunt, he could pretend to kick me to see if I’d moved. I, being used to people abusing me- jumped back and slammed my head into the concrete wall.

YOU ARE NOT FUNNY BY BEING RUDE AT A HAUNTED HOUSE. WE ARE PAID ACTORS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME AND SEE PERFORM. YOU PAY US TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, SO DONT HIT US WHEN WE DO

I feel that this is relevant considering it is October and more Haunted Houses are opening up. I know it seems funny to scare the ‘monsters’ but all you do is hurt real people. So stop.

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phoenixshadow22

6 years ago

Due to personal reasons I will not have the time to do you mean by that worthless demon

(da frick phone?)

“due to personal reasons i will ____” is so fucking funny because it implies both that whatever you’re doing is some kind of self care AND that it’s nobody else’s goddamn business

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phoenixshadow22

5 years ago

So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

So Apparently Tumblr Ate My Original Post About This But:

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phoenixshadow22

5 years ago

I’m absolutely embarrassed that I never knew this before but…

The pen stand that most Wacom products come with?

It twists off and has a bunch of nibs in it. I’ve been buying extra nibs when they were in this stupid thing the whole time.

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phoenixshadow22

5 years ago

high school teachers: if you don’t show up with a dress and full makeup or a fitted tuxedo to class everyday to college your professors will execute you

college professors:

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phoenixshadow22

2 years ago

Gotta remember to read the blog names....

Katy Perry released a new version of Roar and every time she said Roar it was replaced with Morb.

Dear friends of Tumblr,

Today at my school we had an assembly about internet predators and when I had said that most of my true friends are over the internet and they gave me a lecture about how “I don’t know who I’m talking to” blah blah. So please, if you aren’t a predator in any way, please reblog so i can prove a point.

544K notes View Post

phoenixshadow22

6 years ago

@suicide-pigeon not trying to be mean but you may also be able to clean your mind while you're at 😊