V Day Spam !!!

pick up line #11

i scream, you scream, but it’s not because we’re terrified ;)

Challenge: lesbian signs as bad pick up lines (I have more challenges btw!)

Aries: Are you my appendix? Because I don’t know what you are or how you work, but I have a feeling in my gut that I should take you out. 

Taurus:  “It’s handy that I have my library card because I’m totally checking you out.”

Gemini: Are you an antiquer? Cause I have some junk that hasn’t been touched in years.

Cancer: Thank god I’m wearing gloves, because you’re too hot to handle 

Leo: *holding out hand* can you hold this while I go for a walk? 

Virgo: On a scale of 1 to America how free are you tonight? 

Libra: Are you french? Because maDAMN

Scorpio: did you fall from heaven because have sex with me 

Sagittarius: You must have a p-value of at least 0.05, because I fail to reject you.

Capricorn: Are you an orphanage? Because I wanna give you kids. 

Aquarius: I like your bangs and I like your boobs, and Id like to bang your boobs.

Pisces: I’m all out of raisins, so how about a date? 

Your body is a wonderland, and I’d like to be Alice.

glasses feat. me hitting on my friends

I like your band merch but it would look better on the floor.

don’t stick your tongue out at me unless you’re gonna use it

hey girl are you a lesbian because

please?

did anyone ask for soil/farming themed shitty valentine’s cards? no. did I make them anyway? you bet.

pick up line #6

roses are red violets are blue sugar i want to go down on you