My Favourite Lines From Wayward Son

My favourite lines from Wayward Son

WARNING: WAYWARD SON SPOILERS

‘The magic-est.’

‘Baz always looks like he’s in an ad for expensive watches. Even when he isn’t wearing one.’

‘Was Simon supposed to see it coming? He doesn’t see anything coming! He’s taken aback by Tuesdays!’

‘Relaxation is the most insidious humdrum.’

‘“I would never have befriended an inert organism.”’

‘(“My last boyfriend was a barista, Agatha!” “You are also a barista, Ginger. That’s how you met.”)’

‘“I’ll distract them by being a vampire.”’

‘There’s a woman standing in line near us, giving us her most aggrieved “don’t be gay” face, but I don’t care [...]’

‘It’s sitting in economy that’s making us gay.’

‘If you can’t trust people with nose rings to be open-minded, who’s left?’

‘The fucking sun! We get it — you’re very fucking bright!’

‘The Mage. May he rest in pain.’

‘“We’re not robbing banks and murdering people.” / “Yet!” I say.’

‘Iowa smells more like pig shit than Illinois.’

‘Why would you go through the desert on a horse with no name? Why wouldn’t you name the fucking horse at some point?’

‘“What do people eat in Nebraska?!” Snow asks. / “Their dreams!” I shout at him.’

‘“What in the curs-ed fuck?” I say.’

‘Bunce waves her turkey leg at the whole presposterous scene. “Is the theme British?” she asks, suddenly indignant. “Is it just weird and British?” / “If so, Bunce, you’ve got the best costume.”’

‘Baz follows me into the sword tent. (Long & Broad, the sign says.) “You can’t pick up every sword, Snow.” / “I can’t hear you,” I say, trying out a poorly balanced sabre. / “Pray, my lord, my light — thy cannot test every blade in the kingdom.”’

‘I’ll be damned and drawn and fucking quartered before I watch some devil-eyed goat feel up my boyfriend in front of me.’

‘(I’m probably never going to have kids, because I owe at least three imps my firstborn.)’

‘“Are you guys trying to summon Jesus?”’

‘Go ahead and shoot me. This isn’t my favourite shirt.’

And then, of course, this beautiful part:

‘Simon, Simon... / You were the sun, and I was crashing into you. / I’d wake up every morning and tell myself... / I’d tell myself... / “You live in fear! In denial!” / Simon is on the ground. His blood is red and abundant. It smells like brown butter. His hair is a mess, his face is in the sand. He doesn’t know how much I love him. He’s never really heard it. / I’d wake up every morning and tell myself... / “Simon... love... get up. We still have to save Agatha.” / Simon is on the ground. / This will end in flames.’