Petals 010#: Secret Santa

the one where yoongi hates his therapist but kind of likes her receptionist; lveb!verse

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; lveb!universe equal parts emotionally constipated and cheeky yoongi!! the man of our dreams!! i don’t really know what to categorize this drabble as but it’s cute and it’s sfw <3 

➺ wordcount: 5k 

➺ summary; yoongi hates going to therapy - but you and your dumb little hershey kisses make it a tiny bit better, he supposes. 

➺ what to expect; “you like a man who’s unable to form emotional bonds with people, baby?”

➺ optional reading: not necessary but feel free to read la vie en bonsai just to get a feel for what yoongi’s like and why we’re all falling hopelessly in love with him!! 

                                          »»————-　♡　————-««

“see you next week, yoongi!”

“uh-huh, yep.” the smile on yoongi’s face drops as soon as he shuts the door behind him and he immediately rolls his eyes

well

that was an hour and a half of his life that could’ve gone towards something more productive

watching paint dry probably would’ve been more productive than whatever the hell that was

Keep reading

bts at the grammys 2019 | 2020 | 2022

Chapter Eight... Home, Again.

Has no one ever told you not to rifle through old attics? Has no one ever told you that if you find old vintage rings that seem to have a mind of their own, the one thing you should definitely not do is to wear them? Well maybe they have, but it’s October 31st and you’re in desperate need of good accessories. And as such the next thing you know, there is a man named Yoongi in your bedroom and he insists that you’ve just married the King of the Otherworld.

▶ t/w: murder, fighting, cannibalism, vomiting just gross stuff cause there's mermaids involved, angst, drowning, burning someone to death, mature audiences that are not squeamish advised

▶ word count: 5.0k

▶ Interested in this story?

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You grow vaguely aware of someone’s comforting caresses on your back as the world teeters from left to right and you can’t. Stop. Projecting. Everything out. The calming patter encourages not to keep anything down, says it’s going to make it worse but how could it possibly get any worse after everything you just saw.

When you finally slump, having given it all with some discontent you see not Yoongi by your side but Jimin and it’s not the world that’s swaying but just the boat. You groan wincing at the dour taste in your mouth, letting your damp forehead rest on the wooden edge. At this rate you’ll develop aquaphobia. Jimin scrunches the sleeve of his silk shirt, wiping away the cold sweat.

“It’s not long until the palace,” he mutters meant to comfort you but if anything it has the opposite effect.

Yoongi is there, you know he is and you don’t have the slightest clue of how to react anymore. You feel everything. All and every emotion humanity has vollectively ever felt rages through you and you want to baw like a child at the face of such monumental anguish. You hate him and you love him, you want to kill him, strangle him to repay at least some of the pain he put you through and you want to cradle him in your arms, whispering how you forgive him because it’s Yoongi and if souls were true then you were made of one.

You gasp for breath when your lungs begin to burn. No matter how much oxygen you pull in, it’s not enough. The sense of asphyxiation puts you in a chokehold of primal fear and you begin to trash around, clawing at your throat.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Jimin tries to pacify your panic but doing so he puts his hands on both sides of your cheeks and it reminds you so starkly of how Yoongi held you both in his madness and health, that you choke even harder. Quickly, Jimin unhands you, timidly resting his fingers instead on your knees - a relatively safe zone.

“Is this okay?” he asks nervously, echoing your panic. Slowly you climb down from the terror, gasping in and out with your eyes closed. If only you would see darkness and not Yoongi passed out on the floor with his face mauled open. Tentatively still trembling but no longer fearing that you would die (again that is), you open your eyes. The air is cold and damp, fog rolling over the surface of the canal. Jimin is there, eyebrows scrunched up in worry, searching for any signs of distress on your face of which there was plenty. At least, he’s no longer blue meaning whatever drug had coursed through you had been successfully exorcised.

“Why would you ever use such a thing,” you mutter, running a clammy hand through your hair. They’re all knotted.

“I don’t feel the effects as harshly as you. It seems your prolonged residence in human work has distanced you from certain fae benefits.”

You hadn’t even thought of how technically you weren’t even human. Humans after all didn’t revert to infancy after dying. But that’s not what causes you to pull your head up from the safe haven of your thighs, to nail Jimin down with an astonished glare.

“You know? How much do you know?!”

He looks guiltily to the side, wetting his dry lips.

“Uh… sort of everything? It’s a bit awkward to explain, I’m your - ” he blushes bright pink, reminding you of his hair when he came to the orphanage all those years ago.

“What?” you push on and if possible he flushes even more.

“I guess you could say I’m your fan,” he mumbles, drumming his fingers energetically against your kneecap. “You probably don’t recall it but I come from Nyavena, nymph faction, and you’re quite popular there.”

Maybe if you rattled your brain enough, you could faintly remember some bits of fragments about a certain food shortage that you once helped to fix but that was also the time your brother was sent to dungeons, so Nyavena and its problems had escaped your viewing focus.

“I also did my dissertation on you, so I had to dig up a lot of old documents and court stories that Yoongi probably wouldn’t like to know about.”

At the mention of his name, you recoil, feeling that crushing hold, grip around your heart once more.

“Nymphs have universities?...” you quietly wonder, desperate to distract yourself from the imminent descent.

“Gotta get our education somewhere,” Jimin remarks with a light chuckle. You can’t produce your own.

“Is that why you didn’t tell me when I was little?” you ask and he falls sombre

“I...” he stammers, running through his dishevelled hair. “Well, how was I supposed to tell you all this?” he gestures vaguely around and you notice that the boat is in fact steering on its own.

“You were only eight years old then, it’s not a story you tell a kid. But mostly and please, please, do not relay this to Yoongi,” you gaze at him blankly while Jimin struggles to get the words out, his tapping increasing in speed.

“I love Yoongi like a brother, I really do but what you both had or have is just too damn tragic.”

“Who is he to presume on such things?” a sharp voice hisses in your ear though you can’t tell who does it belong to - the King, Yoongi or you.

“If I would tell you who you were or what that ring is, it… it would haunt you. Even if you wouldn’t take it, I don’t think one could ever forget about it. When I read about your...death,” he grimaced, “ I felt really sorry for you and I didn’t want for the history to repeat itself.”

“So the story about Vegas?”

Jimin chuckled self-consciously.

“Oh, a complete lie. I popped by your school’s party and trust me I had enough. I went home pretty soon after that, mulled around my parents' house and then returned back to Yoongi.”

“What did you say to him?”

“Said that I found you as promised and left you a note to read when you’re old enough.”

“That’s why when Yoongi came - ” you begin and Jimin finishes.

“- he thought that you’d forgiven him and I guess were ready to get hitched after the world’s longest engagement.”

You sink deep in thought, recalling that Halloween night.

“I’ve come to take you home, Your Majesty.”

Not a disinterested title but a childhood nickname, a very Yoongi way of saying -

“Let’s get married, baby” or whatever went through his mind that moment.

“Last time I saw him,” you start with a croak in your throat.

A quick cough. Continue.

You don’t want to but what choice there really was.

“He was not in a good...state.”

“A soft way of saying he was five miles out of his mind.”

Could you comprehend what amusement was right now, you’d at least smirk at Jimin’s honesty but the wound was still too raw to be covered up with humour.

“Is he...alright now?”

Jimin ponders for a long time, so long it makes you worried.

“He’s not... he doesn’t throw fits anymore, he doesn’t abuse his power. After you...left, Joon made him seek counselling.”

“Joon?”

“Namjoon, current Court Secretary.”

Oh, you remember him. The bespectacled man by the well.

“He’s trying. He’s been trying so hard. I don’t make any excuses for his behaviour in the past but I have nothing bad to say about him now.”

“Hmm…” is all you can reply.

“Jin and I were most worried about your return,” Jimin admits quietly, “your...departure shocked him so much, I guess it forced him to revert back to some sanity but we were worried that if you were around, he’d fall back into old habits.”

“You’re saying I make him crazy?” you don’t ask out of defensiveness or insult but out of genuine curiosity. No matter how hard you toss or turn, every decision seems wrong. Leaving Yoongi is similar to trying to cut out your liver using a nail file but you couldn't just run up to him like an eager puppy, yapping “of course I forgive you, I don’t care that I died and was made an orphan because of you.”

That’s not how this worked, did it? You had your hurt and he had his.

“I’m not saying that! You’re both very complicated people who love each other very much, any idiot can see that,” Jimin replies, shrugging, “but the baggage you both have is quite heavy and the whole idea of soulmates -”

Every hair on the back of your neck stands up at once.

“What is that?” rips out of you before your natural senses actually received the message of danger.

The water that previously had been smooth is boiling now, but it’s not really boiling. Something is just swimming very fast after your boat. Chasing it down.

A pair of white, lidless eyes poke through the water surface, narrowing you down with a contemptuous glare. Suddenly a smell of rotting fish overclouds your mind.

“Jimin!”

Yoongi felt sick coming back here, to the throne room. These four walls held his grief, his pain and madness. He used to think that if he shut the doors tight enough, he’d be able to seal it away, finally control the poison that seeped from him. It was but a naive hope. He still feels sick when he leaves the room and when he closes his eyes he still sees you disappearing down the well and it didn’t matter whether he was here or at the end of the world. That moment ran deeper than the scar carved on his face.

He shook his head and let the blaring bells of the court grip him into a new alarm. Below him, the first defence line was already caught in a vicious struggle. The problem with the city canals was that they ran everywhere, forcing the soldiers to divert their attention to at least three other places. Merfolk couldn’t get far on the ground, the ability to briefly grow limbs had been bred out for most of them since their exile to Western waters but they could jump. Flinching, Yoongi saw how one of them propelled herself out of the water, unhinging her jaw making her head go backwards with a speed that no one around had even the inkling to run. The unlucky guard was thrown on the pavement and dragged in water before being mauled to pieces all in the span of a second. The court was gripped with wet, squelching sounds as merfolk ate their comrades, occasionally gurgling back undigested parts and hurling them at the remaining fighters.

“Where’s Hoseok?” he growled at Taehyung who was readying a spear.

“I don’t know, I can't find him anywhere.”

That’s just what Yoongi needed.

Your hands stink from the force with which you wack the merman off the boat. Despite Jimin pushing your boat along, using his own created breeze, they are fast. You clutch the oar with a peculiar mix of horrendous rage and paralyzing dread, whipping around the small circle of the boat, trying to somehow predict where they will spring next.

But the space is small and unbalanced. One careless step and you’re dead. A sharp hacking pulls you to the left. Claws gripping the wooden edge, a mermaid hauls their body through the water surface, mouth spread wide open so hard their eyes literally move back and you’re forced to stare down a row of rotting jagged teeth. With no hesitation whatsoever you force your screaming muscles to work and bash the head of the attacker. Black blood spills over your oar as their webbed hands grow limp and release the boat.

“Just a little bit,” Jimin shouts, keeping his eyes on the approaching palace.

There are lights and screams coming from there but it’s still better than being crowded by clawing monsters on a single plank of wood. Seeing the approach to relative safety, they start ramming into the boat, swaying it dangerously close to tipping over. You push to poke one of them but they rip the oar away from your hands. No weapon left and judging from how hard Jimin was panting he would run out of energy any time soon.

You sink underneath the slab of stone that guides the water canal into the inner court. Your feet can barely find the balance anymore. When you came out, you had to jump or risk being dragged into the water. The jump is awkward, not leaping simply away but also somehow upwards. Jimin jumps first almost gracefully and you follow after him, the boat immediately being turned upside down. You already land on your chest against the floor when you’re sharply hauled backwards, claws tearing off the skin at your ankle.

Jimin shouts after you as your nails scrape against the smooth stone trying to hold onto something, anything. The merman who has your leg unhinges his jaw, intending to make you a quick meal. You can see someone’s fingers stuck in his teeth. Then you suddenly slip free and the merman is impaled straight down his mouth with a silver spear. Shivering and distantly screaming you haul yourself backwards and Jimin helps you up.

The court is faring no better and while you’re out of the lion's den you’re now facing a wolf. All around there are mermaids springing like sharks out the water, picking off the Imperial knights at a rapid pace. Sometimes they miscalculate the jump and writhe on the ground where they are slaughtered but even you can see that the tide was in their favour.

“Hello again,” Taehyung greets you pleasantly, loading an arrow into a crossbow and shooting into the eye of a nearby attacker. “Had a good walk?”

He smiles at you nicely, as a classmate would in a hallway, but the side of his face is smeared with black blood and his eyes have double brown pupils.

You don’t reply to anything and he continues just as gently even when he lodges an arrow into the hand of the mermaid and kicks her straight off the ground and into the water.

“Jimin, would you be so kind as to escort her to a more civil place? Our Majesty, really shouldn’t be seeing this.”

Jimin nods grimly, dragging you quickly away as you haphazardly dodge bows and stray attacks. You look back at Taehyung and he waves cheerfully at you and without looking, pulls an arrow from his quiver and stabs a sneaking mermaid through their ear. You retch.

The scent of rot is everywhere and remembering all the horrible things that happened here makes you think that this place is more than just cursed, it’s hell.

“I need to find Yoongi,” you shout over the battle noises and Jimin curses as one mermaid glides over your head, nearly missing the target. “I just want to know he’s alive.”

“Of course, he’s fine ________,” Jimin yells back, not unkindly but you can see that he’s worried you both won’t make it to the palace. And even if you do, the outlook right now was grim. “He’s the King, we all protect him with our lives.”

But those lives are running out, swallowed whole down the throats of the mermaids and then vomited back. You can barely stand.

Jimin does manage to haul you right to the Imperial doors but he is tripped down a flight of stairs. A mermaid, choking as she is out of the water and injured, hisses and starts dragging Jimin closer to her, unsheathing her long teeth to bite his head off. The palace is illuminated by a few torches and you, wavering underneath its weight, push the flame against the mermaid's spine. The tortured scream it lets out is horrifying and crying you have to remind yourself that if you let go Jimin could die, when it stops screaming you let go of the torch and unceremoniously vomit all over the stairs. The scent of the burnt corpse invades your nostrils.

As you look up, through the many spears and weapons you notice a man on a black horse. He’s wielding a longsword and on his head sits the imperial crown, the same one that was used to carve up his face. Yoongi looks like Death itself, clad in black armour, it’s glistening as it catches the roaring flame of the Imperial torches nestled against the palace walls. He slashes and hacks with wild abandon and the knights follow him suit, inspired to fight for their lives, inspired to give their lives for their Emperor. Their (perhaps) Mad King. Yoongi’s horse, Holly, the one you fed many apples trudging away from Brary, turns around to kick the attackers with his hind legs and doing so puts you and Yoongi directly in each other’s sight.

He knows you know.

You can see it from the way he closes his eyes in pain and regret.

And because of it he doesn’t see the biggest mermaid yet launching in a murderous rage and knocking him off Holly, his sword clanging against the ground as it falls from his hand.

You run.

You just run.

You don’t feel fear or anything. It’s like what you see is not even real. You yourself are not even real. Just a body moving without its mind. You drop down and slide right between Yoongi and the mermaid at just the exact moment when she lets her claws fall down, slashing towards Yoongi’s neck.

You close your eyes, hoping that this time he won’t mourn you to another suicide attempt.

You can hear him breathe beneath you and you focus on that sound, wanting to hear it when you die. You don’t want to end up like her, the other you that had died alone, atop of a strange world, broken and abandoned. But the pain doesn’t come and neither does death, what comes are Yoongi’s arms wrapped around your stomach in a tight hug. You crack open one of your eyes and see the mermaid struggling on the ground, a few meters away.

In your mind, you’re back in your kitchen. With Yoongi’s hand around yours as the large knife sways in your birch wallpaper. You look down on the ring and it glistens as it hadn’t even before, ferociously like a protective beacon.

You and Yoongi scramble up as the large mermaid crawls forward, clamping her jaws shut like you’ve seen alligators do. You both grasp around Yoongi’s sword, the one that you now know your brother had gifted him for good luck when the previous Emperor was usurped. You allow yourself the weakness of looking at him only to find that he is looking back at you. Tears are running down his face as he tugs your fingers tightly against the sword hilt. You know he knows you know. Neither of you know the answer of how to fix this, of how to live with the trauma you caused each other, or how you could learn to love again, anew. But you decide you’ll learn, you’ll find the answers because this was your life and all that mattered was that you and Yoongi were happy, not how happy it might make others.

You clasp his fingers back, trying to mutely express your new foundings.

“I’LL KILL YOU!” the mermaid snarls, advancing further but you and Yoongi, hands entwined on the sword, strike her down before she can fulfil her threat. As you near their face, you can recognize that stench.

“Stupid thing,” she had hissed, “you should have stayed away."

But how can one mermaid know who you were, where you came from and where you were originally from?...

You look into the white eyes and the snarls and you finally grasp that one detail that was mulled in the backdrop of your mind.

Bodies don’t fall without jumping. You had stood here, in this palace courtyard, atop of the well, meaning to jump but you hadn't jumped didn’t you. You fell backwards, tugged by an unknown force that had sprung up and was hidden from the sight of the approaching court.

With that notion, you drive the sword through her heart without any straying remorse.

The mermaids howl all around, trashing in the water. Their dead comrade had been a bigger and better fighter than any of them, undoubtedly you had just executed their leader but it doesn’t make them lose their spirits, it enrages them to a degree they abandon all preservation. Heedlessly, they leap out of the water, push themselves against blades, scream until the ears of the bystanders start bleeding.

Yoongi grips your elbow and drags you to the safety of the palace where the burnt mermaid lay. There’s no Jimin around and you pray that he is safe. Your exit is cut off by a dripping man, his hair is red and he has a distinct, kind face despite the fact that he was drenched in black blood.

“They’ve taken the palace,” he screams, “they used the plumbing to get inside, it’s not safe, Yoongi.

“Hoseok, gather Taehyung and the rest, push back, away from the canals,” Yoongi orders. His grip on your arms is so strong, it starts tingling. You don’t mind, in fact, you relish this small reminder that you’re both still alive.

Yoongi looks around in panic. There was no exit. Wherever the sight landed, there were intruders and falling knights. He whimpered, desperately trying to seek some escape and then his gaze landed on the well.

You understood him the moment the thought nestled in his head.

“No, no, please, I don’t want to go!”

You plead but Yoongi turns a deaf ear, dragging you towards it, across the bodies of his subjects and of his enemies.

“Please Yoongi, I don’t want to go, please, I love you, you idiot, I don’t want to leave you!”

His expression wrenches in torment as he mutely sobs yet he doesn’t stop and when you come next to the mouth of the water well, you feel a cold dread crawl through your skin. You capture his dirtied face in your palms, mimicking his favourite gesture and even through his misery he nuzzles into your hands, almost on an instinct.

“Please, I love you, don’t abandon me,” you beg and press a kiss on his lips. He responds gently, not clawing, not tearing, not demanding anything, just echoing the movement of your lips so tenderly as though he thought it was a dream.

“I love you,” he says, voice barely above a whisper, “I’ll love you forever and after that.”

You hook your hand around his neck and the chain that was hidden underneath his armour plops out of their confines, revealing the same golden ring, glowing bright on your hand.

He presses his forehead onto yours, breathing deep and before you can beg anymore pushes you right down the well.

You fall, down, down and down, seeing Yoongi’s ghastly, tortured grimace watch after you until you breach the surface of the worlds and he disappears. The void between separate realities is filled with many things. None of them make any sense, they’re nightmarish and sick, but even so you feel alone. You fall and fall and fall until it finally breaks and you hit the hard, cold ground, rolling through the Hell Mouth.

You pant.

There is only silence.

The air is cold and the night is dark and there are stars twinkling above you.

No screams, no slaughter, no Yoongi.

You become still, unable to move or do anything as the horrid realization of your whereabouts settle in.

You were back home.

You look down on the ground. Your hand is empty.

The ring that had hugged your finger so tight, you thought no one could ever remove it, is laying away, partially hidden underneath brown leaves.

You reach towards it and the glimmer in its searing brown stone that reminds you of the colour of Yoongi’s eyes begins to shudder until it dies down entirely

“Was this uh… decoration?” Maeve asks kindly as she wretches the lodged kitchen knife from your wall. You don’t respond, choosing to pick up the Galadriel dress that was still on your floor.

Time ran differently in the Otherworld as you realized and the week that you spent with Yoongi was but one hour in the human world.

You returned back home the same night you left, as if you hadn’t just lived two different lives as two different and yet somehow the same women. You had stumbled and fainted in Bill Sandyman’s yard, the one whose daughter was still probably gasping underneath some vampire’s warm mouth. The intoxicated horde that you had partied with was admitted into the one hospital that Sallington had and bucking underneath the weight of many drunken students, no one paid any attention to the nature of your injuries.

When Maeve came to collect you with her green Moskvitch she had joked that of course only you could stumble upon more trouble in the comfort of your own home, but you hadn’t listened to her, merely wrapping around your arms around her neck, trying to delude your brain into thinking that it was Yoongi who you held onto.

She grew suspicious but seeing the morose, heartbroken expression she didn’t press further on it.

The week that followed wasn’t even the worst. Neither the week after that. Maeve stayed with you, trying to comfort you to the best of her abilities while remaining completely oblivious. The week after that you saw Lucia stray home and so you could corner her for some answers. She didn’t know that there even was an attack, she had been sleeping for the most part of it, recovering after the Long Ball.

The worst came in the summer as you began to lose hope that Yoongi will find a way back to you. You had tried, numerous times in a single day and those days after another, you had tried to crawl back to the Otherworld but the Hell Mouth remained a simple tree, and its carving revealed only moist, dark soil and not a bridge between the worlds.

The ring didn’t glow for a single day and no matter how hard you tried it slipped away from your finger. You resolved to wear it around your neck, like Yoongi had. And time moved forward.

Maeve was offered a job outside of Sallington and you encouraged her to go. You were wallowing, sinking in depression that no one could understand and you feared to explain, feared to confine her because of your own selfishness. So you let her go, towards a better life and she left like a beautiful bird, migrating to a better weather. She lived her life as she should.

No other resident of Sallington of which there were far more than you presumed, could open the gateway either. It was entirely shut and you were all left to maroon on top of your own world of normalcy.

The spring came and the summer came and then finally Halloween of the next year came. You were excited. You thought, he had come for you the last Halloween, maybe he would this time. He loved you, he would come.

Yoongi didn’t come.

But he still loved you, right?

He was still alive.

Right?

Halloween came and left. Just a single memory of you sitting soulless in your lonely kitchen watching a single, orange candle in the shape of the pumpkin melting away. You had made dinner for two that night. Yoongi could be hungry when he came to see you.

He didn’t come.

And then there came winter. Christmas. Coating Sallington in white blanket of comfort. Of course it being Sallington it resembled a Swedish crime drama and one would expect more to see Krampus on the roof rather than Santa nevertheless the people made it lovely. Carols, eggnog, family.

You sitting alone, on a snow covered porch, breath etching white clouds into the night air.

You had learned to fake cheer quite well for Maeve who couldn’t make it back home this year. You thanked for her gifts and received a happy thank you for the ones you’d given her. The phone call ended and you let the smile slip away from your face as you stared blankly into the outskirt of the forest.

Quietly you entered Ms Witterman’s children’s home and lay in your bed, the Christmas lights twinkling softly behind your closed eyes.

CREEEEEEEEEK.

Unmistakable.

The creek of your bedroom floor underneath the sole of an unknown intruder.

You didn’t open your eyes. This could be a dream and your heart would shatter if and when you woke up. You better hoped it was a robber, you’d know how to deal with that.

Your bed dipped behind you as cold arms wrapped tentatively around your waist, someone's nose nuzzling softly in your neck. You swallowed your tears, heart pounding in exhilaration and in fear that this was just another one of your delusions, conjuring a happy ending where there wasn’t one.

You reach to touch his hands and eagerly he intertwines your fingers in his.

This was real.

“Sorry for being late, Your Majesty,” Yoongi whispered in your ear.

← previous

Waaaahhhhh thanks to everyone for reading it, it flourished from a small idea to a big world that I've grown very fond of. Please don't be a silent reader and I hope you enjoyed this roller coaster of emotions.

- Sora.

title: i've changed, won't you see?

pairing: prohero!katsuki x reader

summary: katsuki ruined your life when you were small, giving you a life altering injury, though getting nothing more than a pat on the back. throughout his successes he can't get you out of his mind, so he sets out to make amends with you.

tags: silent voice inspired!! childhood bully katsuki :(, disabled reader, mentions of violence, angst to fluff, su1cide attempt, comfort, implied nsfw, no proofread

(a/n: i wanted to give my hand at really long works while doing drabbles in between but i have so many drafts now jajsjsj)

wc: ~4k

your eyes were always blurry around him it seemed. your hands shaking as your voice cracked, just begging him. "please leave me alone!" with all the might a five year old could muster.

they scoffed at you, they always did. "crybaby. blame your parents for not giving you a quirk. you should've moved when i told you to anyways, it's my park dont you know?" katsuki mocked, moving closer to you, noticing the card behind your back.

"stop being so mean! quirkless people don't do anything wrong!"

"quirkless don't do anything."

your chest was heaving with pain, your little heart couldn't take it. "you-- you'll never be a hero, you're too mean!"

in an act of rage, he set off an explosion. it was only meant to intimidate you but..

once the smoke settled your screams of terror filled the playground.

blood dripped on the floor, pooling in your hand as your grasped your ear. a ringing was all you could hear, it was driving you crazy.

were you crying? you couldn't tell, you couldn't hear. your eyes were shut as you were filled with panic, the smell of iron flooding your senses.

but katsuki remembered so much more.

the smell of the burned cartilage of your ear, the sight of it, or rather the lack of. the blood that wouldn't stop coming, why wasn't it stopping?

his group that usually rallied behind him was now gone, leaving him and a wailing you alone. he tried to talk to you, but you weren't responding.

he grew the courage to touch you, tapping on your shoulder slowly, but that didn't comfort you. in fact he thought it made it worse, making you bow your head in a defensive position.

he stared at you, unable to move, he was supposed to be a hero like allmight, were you right?

finally, a teacher came running to get you, an ambulance already on the way. they didn't look at katsuki, only at the pitiful state you were in.

you didn't respond to them either.

katsuki felt sick as he stood where you and the teacher had left them. he felt sick as he looked down to the remains of what he'd done to you.

he couldn't process it yet, but he felt a sickening despair and guilt be placed upon his shoulders.

one that wouldn't disappear.

he wasn't blamed for anything, only getting a quirk consolation. they thought he lost control? his parents eyed him as he tried to explain what had truely happened, he didn't know why he was trying, did he want to get punished?

but even after, nothing was done. with a lecture and a couple promises he was sent back to class with nothing done to him.

your life was changed forever though, it was apparent in the way that you seemed even more quiet and closed off. you sat in the back, never spoke to anyone, and got teary eyed when he even stood close to you.

your hair covered your ears constantly, a hearing aid peeking through the strands occasionally. the teacher never forced you to participate, none of them ever made an effort.

the teacher had explained to the class how you were completely deaf in one ear, and extremely hard of hearing in the other. how you'd use sign language from now on, and that the class would learn some in support. they never did though, the conversation going ignored as soon as it was uttered.

you were pulled out of class often, the teacher having to tap you on the shoulder to get your attention. your eyes dejected and your presence small as the person who came to get you made gestures with their hands to you.

you'd been cruelly placed in matching classes 'til your last years of junior high. you'd stayed the same way for forever, it was like a weight placed over his chest.

yet he felt he deserved it. he knew he was messed up. he watched you, a lot. he saw you in the back corners, usually forgotten and ignored. when you were acknowledged you were mocked, people making random hand signs to make fun of the way he forced you to communicate, mocking your unconfident speech right after.

he saw the way you sunk into yourself afterwards, making his heart hurt as you grew impossibly smaller. your hands held your own as you prayed for it to be over.

everytime you'd catch him in the halls, you'd still freeze up. your breath shaky as you bowed and left quickly, making his friends laugh but make him queasy.

that interaction was witnessed by your teacher who, after a day of you not showing up, assigned him to give you your work for the day.

with sweaty palms and a racing heart, he dropped by your house. he knew where it was, of course he did, your mom and his were close industry friends even after the incident.

because you'd never told anyone about what he'd do to you.

he knocked on the door, attempting to seem nonchalant. when you answered though, he felt his heart lurch in his chest.

"[name], uh-- this is your work."

you didn't respond, you looked almost nauseous at the sight of him, it was deserved though.

he placed your work on the floor and walked off, that was the only time he'd spoken to you since the incident,

and he couldn't even apologize.

- - -

U-A wouldn't only be a dream for him, but a release for you both. was it selfish to want to run away from his problems? sure, but it'd help you too.

as everyone in the class exclaimed the names of the schools they picked, unsurprised at katsuki's choice, he pondered on where you'd go.

nobody asked you, so you didn't speak. staying quiet as you looked out the window.

katsuki got accepted into U-A easily, but he couldn't help but feel he lacked the main criteria. he'd hurt people poorly, and couldn't apologize because of his ego.

he felt sick to accept these accomplishments of his, knowing it'd be built up on the foundation of hurting you.

but he did anyway, selfishly. he kept up his harsh demeanor in U-A anyways, working hard and scoring high. he graduated top of his class, job offers to agencies left and right.

he accepted one, working for his old internship officially now. he climbed the ranks quickly, saving lives and catching the attention of the media.

a couple years later, he was a steady number five hero when he took a patrol route over for deku. as he strolled through the city, stores littering the buildings, he saw someone he never thought he'd see again.

you, only now working for your mothers seamstress company. you were embroidering something on the station, hands precise and focused, not noticing him.

he had to keep moving, but.. he made a mental note to come back later.

he finished his patrol anxious, he went to sleep thinking of what he'd even say to you. 'hey sorry for ruining your life, can you forgive me?' he slapped his forehead in frustration.

he searched up basic sign language for beginners, learning a bit. he laughed at the stupid thoughts of your forgiveness that he dreamt of.

"as if i deserve it." he muttered, looking deeply at the ceiling of his room before falling asleep.

as soon as he awoke, he got dressed and prepared. he tried to look causal, as if he wasn't planning this.

he walked in, immediately greeted by your mother who congratulated him on his heroics. "well isn't that dynamite? saving the world i see."

he laughed politely. "i'll be number one soon enough."

"of course! well, what're you looking for? i'll give you a family discount, you grew up so close to [name] didn't you?"

his heart jumped into his throat.

"uh.. we did."

"you two were so adorable! she was so nervous around you, she must've had a crush on you or something!"

"i definitely don't think so."

"oh, you're just being modest." she said, hitting his arm lightly. "there she is now, go and speak to her."

"uh-- i--"

"go!" she shoved him in your direction, making you look up to see him. your lips parted in an unrecognizable expression as you saw him, the line you were working on now crooked as you were left alone together.

it's been about ten years hadn't it? ten years since he last saw you, but a lifetime he needed to apologize for.

he'd learned so much in U-A, outwardly changing his demeanor to what he always aspired to be. but all that meant nothing to you, who only experienced him at his worst.

he awkwardly raised his hand up to you, he did his best to sign while speaking, his hands shaky and unconfident. "hi [name], i'm really sorry about what happened back then."

your eyes followed the movements, your hands absentmindedly wrapping around yourself loosely, defensively.

"i know this is a lot but,

can we be friends?"

he waited anxiously for you to answer, you looking as if you were processing it.

in a grown up, yet timid voice, one that he hadn't heard since you were young, you almost whispered, signing as you did so out of reflex. "thank you, bakugo." your eyes grew watery. great, he just couldn't seem to stop making you cry.

he sat near you after getting wordless permission to, hanging onto every word you spoke, and being mindful to speak in a calm tone himself.

"i.. i'd like a friend, honestly. a new one anyways."

he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when you said that, but still, it wasn't enough.

he wanted to, no needed to make you happy. the years of torment he subjected you to couldn't be made up by anything less than years of happiness.

after a bit of small talk, him asking you questions about what you'd been up to, how your life was treating you. he zoned out a couple times, thinking of how beautiful you've become.

"what would make you happy, [name]?" he finally said, his head supported on his hand as he gazed at you, making sure to enunciate his words so you could read his lips.

"what makes you ask?"

"i-- i want to make you happy. no matter the cost, it's what you deserve."

she laughed softly at that, her eyes flickering with an indistinguishable expression. "...i always wanted to travel. around the world, to see mountains and landscapes."

"then i'll take you."

"you don't have t--"

"i do. and ill do more [name], what i did to you was-- is horrible. you know that."

"i..

okay, okay bakugo."

"katsuki."

you smiled, "katsuki."

going from having very limited contact with your only friend from high school, to having a prohero come to your shop everyday was jarring. but not unwelcomed.

he brought gifts with him everytime, learning what you'd like and not. it ranged from food to stuffed animals, flowers to accessories, all of which you really appreciated.

you grew closer, eventually starting to meet outside of your mother's shop. at the park or walking around the mall, he'd take you anywhere you wanted to go. he'd pay for everything too, despite your reluctance.

he kept his word to you, and at the end of the month he asked you to come up to his apartment.

a penthouse.

as you walked in, greeted by the shimmering atmosphere of the expensive furniture and decor all around, abstract paintings and trophies littering shelves on the walls.

you stood by the front entrance, taking off your shoes as you walked in. "katsuki?" you asked, looking around.

he came out, a tiny smile on his face. "ya made it." he had something behind his back, "come in [name]."

the apartment was huge to say the least, it becoming even bigger than it looked from the entrance. he guided you to his plush couch, sitting next to you.

"so, i know you said you dreamt of traveling, right?"

at your nod, he pulled out the tickets from behind his back. "i.. got this tickets for you. i didn't want to push it in case you didn't want me to go with you but--"

you cut him off with a hug, tackling him into the couch.

"of course i want you to come,

katsuki."

you signed his name differently than other times,

you'd finally made a name for him.

he hugged back mindfully, so excited to finally have a huge first step in the right direction.

but he still needed to make you happy. "we'll leave in two days if that's okay, i just wanted to give you time to pack."

"okay, that's good."

"do you.. want to stay?" he asked nervously, the thought had popped into his mind and out his mouth in a millisecond.

you blinked, sitting up on his legs, pondering it over.

"sure, okay."

he put on some movies for the two of you, his heart was racing at the proximity of your body to his.

the night ended with you laid on top of him, fast asleep as he was comforted by the beating of your heart against his. your chest against his, his hand in your hair as your head laid in his neck.

he woke up first, to the sight of the gold light making you look heavenly, your hair messy from how he was playing with it throughout the night. your face was almost against his, he could kiss you right now.

but he shouldn't. he would move but he didn't want to couldn't, so he looked you over. you woke up to the feeling of his fingers caressing your face, your eyes half lidded from sleep.

"'suki. g'morning."

his heart was getting used to irregularly pounding around you at this point. "[name], uh-- hi."

after a couple moments, you got off of him, much to his discontent. his hands sliding down your legs as you got up.

"i'll be going now, i gotta pack and stuff." you said, looking in one of the many mirrors scattered around as you fixed your appearance as much as you could.

he nodded. "let me walk you home at least."

and he did walk you home, hand in hand.

those two nights he spent pondering over you. he didn't know why, but hero work felt much lighter after talking it out with you. becoming your friend was one of the best things he'd achieved in years, and that was including his recent rankings.

he thought back to how he treated you as a kid, had he really just been searching for your validation all along?

is that why it hurt when you told him he'd never amount to his dreams, because he only valued your opinion?

he let himself sleep, he'd see you tomorrow. and he'd make it all right.

he woke up and picked you up at your place, his expensive sports car standing out against the comfort of the neighborhood. you walked out, dressed simply but cute, a bag of your own in hand.

he grabbed it from you and placed it in the back, opening the passenger door for you as he drove to the airport. his hand on your thigh as he did so, letting you play the music you'd like with loud bass.

it was a half hour ride in comfortable silence, he gazed at you occasionally, a thoughtful expression on your face.

on the plane, you sat by the window. it was first class so you'd get to sleep in a physical bed, in a closed room. you were treated to whatever food and drinks you wanted, hugging katsuki when you found out you where you were heading.

the flight was a long eighteen hours, but it was spent hanging out with katsuki. on his lap asking him questions about the shows you two had watched, power scaling arguments about past heroes, fights he'd recently been in.

also what you two planned to do as you were there, you wanted to go to the beaches and mountains, he just wanted to follow you.

you fell asleep together again, your face laid directly in his chest as he held you.

you woke up to katsuki tapping you on the shoulder. as you raised the volume on your aids, you heard the beeping on the intercoms that meant you'd have to go back to your seats for the landing, groggily being helped up by katsuki as he moved you to to your seats.

you sat by the windows, looking at the tropical region as you two landed, your hand still in his. the moments after we're a blur, before you knew it you were in a car being buckled up by katsuki as you were being driven to your hotel.

what you didn't know was that it was a villa, built on top of the waters of the ocean, your very own private beach right outside your doors with the mountains you'd dreamt of treking right behind you.

you'd never been so happy.

the days you'd spent started and ended all the same, you waking up and going to sleep in katsuki's arms. pretending like you didn't notice how your bed hair got worsened after he played with it all night.

the first days you'd spent at the beach, attempting and failing at surfing. your jet lag was killed off by your utter excitement.

you being thankful your aids were water resistant because of how much you loved the waters of the river and the seas.

you'd had a sandcastle competition, sunbathed, and soaked off in the hot tub of your villa together.

the trek's were fun too, katsuki was annoyingly good at everything so you'd have to fight to keep up.

your polaroid in hand as you snapped candid shots of him, turning it to yourself as you got a selfie of you two with the gorgeous rivers as background.

you jumped into those too, making katsuki freak out as you dived in to the deep waters.

you even got to the top one day, jokingly saying that you should've brought a flag to the top to celebrate. the golden hours of the sunset making you glimmer.

a moment of silence passed over you as he slowly approached you, wordlessly asking for permission as you once again put your hands in his.

you leaned in first, kissing him with the sun as witness.

"i really like you [name]." he sighed and spoke after you pulled away.

"i like you too." you replied, hugging him tightly.

the rest of your trip was filled with your firsts with katsuki.

your first official date was in the burrows of the forest, a picnic where you two painted portraits of eachother. albeit, unique portraits... but painting nonetheless.

your first moment truly loving someone, the feeling you recognized as you laid him in your lap for the first time.

your first talk about what happened all those years ago. a deep one.

"[name], before we become something um.. official. we need to talk about how i hurt you." katsuki said one day, laying faced to you but taking your hands into his.

"kats--"

"let me speak. please." after you nodded, he took a breath and began.

"i was egotistical and really insecure all those years. you were the only one who really read me, that's why i think i got so upset.

i didn't mean to hurt you, i never wanted to hurt anyone i swear-- i just hated that you were right.

that weighed over me all these years, the fact that my hero work meant nothing if i was doing it while acting so.. unheroic.

i never fully felt like a hero, not until i met you again.

not until you graced me with your friendship, your undeserved affection towards me. i just-- i really care about you. and im really sorry, ill spend the rest of my life apologizing to you, and you don't have to accept it because i don't deserve it.

i guess what i'm trying to say is..

sorry, and.. i love you [name].

you don't have to--"

he was cut off by a kiss on his lips.

it felt different somehow, he couldn't place it. almost sad in a way as you pulled back.

"i don't think you were trying to hurt me. but, you did.

and you're working to change it, i appreciate that.

i really care for you too katsuki."

the rest of your trip was comfortingly domestic, learning things about each other you'd never know.

your last week was bittersweet, having to leave your jointed paradise was a reality that saddened the both of you. but your dream was fulfilled, and so was his.

seeing that he was the cause of your smiles and not your horror, making you happy was the light of his day. no, his life.

he thinks he was born to make you happy.

the flight back was a blur, you spent it clinging to him. you started to gift him your own things over the hours, a scrunchie of yours, a bracelet for him to keep.

a locket with a photo of you two, and the polaroid you'd taken on the mountains.

"why are you giving this all to me? not that i'm complaining."

"well, you'll get more use out of it. that's all."

he scrunched his face up in confusion, but with a smile you waved off his concerns.

he wished he pushed you more.

he wished that you'd forgive him for failing you once again, as he fought to take the razor blade out of your grip, slicing your hand in the process.

you were in your bathtub, surrounded by water yet fully clothed, tears and wails wracking your body as you just wanted it to be over.

you finally relented, your blood staining his clothes and the water as he picked you up. you couldn't hear him, you'd taken out your aid.

but you could feel his sobs, his tears hitting you as you shut your eyes, embarrassed of what you'd just done.

you were rushed to the hospital and given stitches, you were to be closely watched from your mom now on, you were told by an interpreter.

katsuki's eyes were red, matching his pupils as he looked at you.

he was frustrated, you could see it in the trembling of his fists and the scowl in his mouth. if he hadn't been there.. you would be dead.

why, he asked you. and to be honest, you really couldn't explain it yourself.

when you got home to your apartment, empty and reminding of your reality away from katsuki, you just felt so..

scared. what would happen when he finally got the validation he needed and left you? your whole life was quiet and tranquil, you'd gotten used to it. but he flipped it upside down again, showed you what your life really could be.

it was too much for you. you had to escape, so after sitting on it, tapping your leg anxiously as you pondered your decision, you went on your phone.

you went online and saw his life outside of you, how he had everything going for him yet what did you really have? a mom and a job at her company?

you grew impulsive, grabbing it absentmindedly and filling up the tub with the water you grown to love over the past month.

after you started bleeding, you panicked. what had you just done? but it was too late..

until he saved you from yourself.

you were zoning out. when you didn't answer him, he repeated himself, grabbing the interpreter so you could sign.

but still you said nothing, except a small sorry.

he left afterwards, leaving you alone in the bed to think.

you were back in your childhood room now, your mom having sobbed as she looked over your hands, as she asked you, "what the hell were you thinking?"

you looked at those glow in the dark stars and tried to find an answer, but there was none.

you held yourself to sleep for the first time in months, already missing him deeply.

little did you know, he was thinking about you too.

the next morning you awoke to a knock on your bedroom door. assuming it was your mom, you got up and opened it.

it was katsuki instead, holding a bouquet of flowers and the locket you'd given him.

"can i come in?"

you opened the door wider, leading him to sit on your bed.

"katsuki i--"

"[name]. i don't know why you did what you did.. but i know it probably has something to do with me. so what did i do wrong?" he looked defeated, as if he thought it was his fault you tried to end your life.

"no! no that wasn't it at all. well, it was about you but not like that.

it's just.. i've been alone. for so long? having you around felt.. too good to be true. i didn't want to go back to how i was before. in a way, you were too good for me."

"you're.. an idiot. but i guess i understand."

"i just.. i really love how you treat me. i didn't want it to go away."

a moment of silence passes, a small anxious laugh leaving katsuki's lips.

"fuck, i thought you hated me. could barely sleep without you."

he pulled you into him, staring deeply into your eyes as he pulled you impossibly closer. he kissed you deeply. his worries, passions, and frustrations all poured out into it.

he pulled away, eyes half lidded as he asked gruffly.

"wanna take this back to my place?"

he took your last first away, gentle and loving as he guided you through it. reassuring you that he'd never leave you.

you moved in with him soon after, finding it hard to sleep without eachother, no matter how late he got back to your shared home.

he'd be welcomed back by the sight of you, who always tried and failed to stay up waiting for him. he'd pick you up, like always, and hug you to sleep.

he'd know he woke you up by the feeling of your smile in his chest, the way you tightened you arms around him.

he loved spending every waking moment he could with you. you were right though, he did break up with you after he got your validation.

...

but that's just an odd way to say he proposed to you, vowing to spend the rest of his life making you happy and fufiling your wishes one by one.

he changed not only himself, but the way you see yourself. he changed your relationships with yourselves and eachother for the better,

and as you walked down the aisle, your wedding planned by your two designer parents, being lavish and gorgeous. the silk on the floor being runway to your expensive shoes specially designed for you, the guests in awe of how gorgeous you are.

you both knew, you'd better eachother for better or for worse, for as long as you'd be together.

he signed 'i do', sealing the rest of your lives together,

with a kiss.

happy birthday sunshine 🌞💛🌞💛 (940218)

230614 - elle men thailand on instagram

Heart attacks symptoms are different for women. I recently learned this. 

black swan jungkook in a sheer lace top 🥵🥵🥵

part two (1/2) - happy birthday

~finding bigfoot~

[bigfoot hunter!yoongi x hiker!reader]

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a/n: hey guys!! so in honor of yoongi’s birthday today, i decided to post the text part of finding bigfoot part 2!! the other part will be a drabble (release date TBD) i hope you guys enjoy it!! x

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