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Christmas Movies Ranked by How Anti-Capitalist They Are

It’s a Wonderful Life

Movies that make you want to pick a fight with the 1% and also weep with joy. Absolutely a classic and anti-capitalist at its very core. Will convince you we need to start oppressing landlords again.

“Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you’re talking about… they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn’t think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they’re cattle.”

SAY THAT!!! George Bailey said fuck landlords, all my homies hate landlords, they have NO rights. Local man believes poor people are human, dedicates his life to helping them, and in his time of the need literally the whole town comes together to support him and his family. Class solidarity ftw!

“Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” Bitch I CRY EVERY GODDAMN TIME. 

10/10

Home Alone

Soundtrack goes hard, the wacky hijinks even harder. 

Loses points because the bandits had a prime opportunity to seize and redistribute some of the wealth from this ritzy Chicago neighborhood and instead they focus their energy on trying to kill an 8-year-old who outsmarts them at every turn.

2/10

Elf

A family favorite in our house. Touches on the overworking and mistreatment of employees through Greenway Press – Walter forced to choose between being with his family on Christmas Eve or losing his job, it’s implied Deb has a pet grooming business on the side to makes ends meet despite being a receptionist at a NY publishing company, etc.

Honestly most of the points come from Jonie’s underrated yet highly relatable storyline. She works in retail, exhausted and cynical towards the high-paced Christmas season which gives her little to no relief or reward, since she’s surviving on ramen noodles and using the employee showers because her water was cut off. Not expanded on enough to be considered a true Marxist piece but the effort is appreciated.

5/10

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Although the meme is correct in that Rudolph’s red nose becomes desirable only once it proves to be useful, it does get points for exposing the harmful nature of forced conformity and those alienated by these capitalist ideals – Rudolph, Hermie, the island of misfit toys – are given a place to belong despite the perceived “flaws” that before made them undesirable.

Also the elves definitely have a free dental-plan now thanks to Hermie and are hopefully on their way to unionizing. Fucking superb you funky little misfit.

6/10

Klaus (2019)

Turns a member of the bourgeoisie into a man I’d trust to carry my mail. Respect for postal workers this movie contains was ahead of its time.

 No direct takedown of the establishment but a heartwarming message – “A true selfless act always sparks another” bITCH I may be crying – that emphasizes the importance of giving to others even when there is no selfish motivation to do so, which is inherently anti-capitalist.  

8/10

The Santa Clause

Scott Calvin starts as a toy executive who takes part in the commercialization of Christmas. He was probably a business major so automatically loses points.

The Santa dynasty itself seems to operate under the cutthroat rules of the business world where you must overthrow (or in this case, throw him off the roof) the former CEO in order to seize power. 

Elves have not unionized or seized the means of production by the end.

0/10

A Christmas Carol 

THE ORIGINAL. Charles Dickens was not even in the neighborhood of fucking around with this one. CREATED the anti-capitalist Christmas genre!!

Rich man treats his employees like shit and gets terrorized by three ghosts on Christmas Eve. Force him to redistribute his wealth by dragging him through a montage of his most epic fails – oh, hey, remember when your fiancé left you? – and make him listen as all his employees and relatives complain about his stingy ass. 

They end this slideshow by throwing this dude into his own grave. DIRECT ACTION. 

Like damn, the ghosts really said, “If you hoard your resources and ignore those in need when you could directly improve/save lives with no cost to yourself, you will die ALONE and you WILL pay for your crimes in hell.” Literally watching this movie is a catharsis for anyone who is or has been poor and working class. 

I’m including all versions of this movie but a special shout out to the Muppet version because it fucks the hardest. 

100/10

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Listen I’m not even in realms of joking with this one. This movie is THE anti-capitalist film of the holiday season. 

WhoVille commercializing Christmas and a fixation on consumer culture to the point where anything and anyONE who cannot be commodified – aka the GRINCH – is alienated? The Whos rediscovering that people should be cherished over material items once it all is stolen and they must confront how empty the holiday has become??

Cindy Lou becoming disillusioned in Christmas – at an age that coincides when many children (those who celebrate Christmas at least) lost belief in Santa and had to wrestle with what the holiday means with the magic gone and they’re more aware of the rampant consumerism that taints the season?? Her resolve to find a meaning that goes beyond material consumption because if a holiday founded on goodwill doesn’t extend that goodwill to everyone, even those society deems undesirable, then what’s the point???

The Grinch despising Christmas because he is unable to participate and isolated from the Whos and also the better qualities within himself? His alienation serving to demonize him further as it allows the public to narrow his valid criticisms of the holiday down to him being different and thus inherently predisposed to evil?? And hmm isn’t it interesting that a LOT of this demonization comes via Mayor Augustus “generously paid for by the tax-payers of Whoville” Maywho, Mr. 1% himself.

The upper vs working class divide evident in the light show competition between Martha May and Betty Lou Who?? The opening scene of the shopping frenzy that mirrors our own consumerist culture and overworking of retail/poster workers??? This entire monologue:

“That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? That’s what it’s always been about. Gifts, gifts… gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I’m saying? In your garbage. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice… the avarice never ends! ‘I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue.’" 

MARXIST KING. MENTION IT ALL.

1000/10

~Send Me a Ship~

I’ll rate it using the below system and say why I gave it that rating ^^

1 = NOTP, Disgusting.

2 = Don’t see it, Don’t care about it, Don’t know it.

3 = I could see why others like it but not at all my taste.

4 = I could see why others like it, kinda cute I suppose.

5 = It’s alright, I ship it a little perhaps…

6 = Nice ship, I ship it but as a side ship to other ships.

7 = I like it, would read a fanfic with them if it was well written.

8 = I REALLY like this ship but it wouldn’t work out in canon.

9 = I REALLY like this ship and it should be/is canon!

10 = One True Pairing (OTP). I will fight to the death for this ship. 

Yeah I was a fan of the Hunger Games at the time and I thought the same thing you said. The world goes to shit because the Lemons won.

I actually had that idea for a fanfiction. Lightning was sent accidentally to an alternate timeline/dimension where he died because Sarge didn’t switch the fuel. When Our Lightning goes to back to Radiator Springs to get help (he thinks he’s still in his world at this point) he finds the town seemingly abandoned. He’s ambushed by the townies and captured, taken in by them to be interrogated. As they question Lightning and interrogate him he tries to tell the townie that he is Lightning McQueen, for reals. They don’t believe him because their Lightning is dead and that they think he’s one of Axlerod’s agents in disguise to mess with them or go undercover. Mater (who in this timeline never had a bomb on him and is leader of the Rebellion) and Sally come in to cross-examine Lightning with the two looking coldly at him. Mater, starts asking questions that only he and Lightning would know while Sally’s just circling around the two. Lightning passes the questions but they don’t trust him, they won’t kill him because there might be a reason as to how or why Lightning knew the things he did so they keep him around under heavy supervision. Any attempts at escape and the boy is shot dead in his tracks.

Meanwhile in addition to the members of Radiator Springs (including Mia and Tia, Otis, and The King) the World Grand Prix racers and Finn, Holley, and Siddley (they’re one of the few British spies who aren’t working for Axlerod) are are also working for the Rebellion in their respective countries. Often traveling to the main HQ of Radiator Springs to provide updates on the latest activity and plans of action. For a few years, the Lightning in that timeline had been dead, most tourists stopped coming to Radiator Springs because of that. Lightning’s death changed Mater as he went from being happy-go-lucky goofball to serious  to the point of unfeeling and wanting nothing more than to set things right with the world. Holley had felt saddened by how the Mater she’d fallen in love with wasn’t the same. She loved Mater the idiotic, but good-hearted spy, not Mater the miserable and emotionless agent. Staying mostly in the UK division of the Rebellion with Finn, she feels afraid to look at Mater in the eye, but still makes in-person visits to Radiator Springs to pass down the latest intel along with updates on plans and rendezvous. Francesco, in the Italian division has in a way felt like this was his fault, even though it wasn’t and joined in order to make amend. Over the past couple years, he has developed feelings of love for Sally but understands that she might not feel the same way as she had lost someone she loved for years. Francesco knows that if they ever get through this underground war with the Lemons, than he’ll tell Sally.

Why are my idea so weird?

And here’s the final character and the main one for @sethlenin’s fanfics, Seven or Sev for short. Sev is basically the Eleven of the group, being a test subject from Hawkins lab and having escaped there with a body count. Unlike El and many of the test subjects at the lab, Sev has water bending powers. Or hydrokinesis if you want to be technical. Sev is sixteen-year-old boy who is found by Gabe and AJ scavenging for food at the former’s house. Of the people in the group, Tara is the one he forms the strongest connection to. I ship it. #Tarven I’m actually really happy with how he came out. According to the character’s creator, he was supposed to be non-binary but that was changed due to how the term probably wasn’t that common in the 1970s. Their face claim/physical inspiration is that of the non-binary @lachrwatson Sev an absolute sweetheart in the story and I love his relationship with Tara and him trying appeal to Naty. #sevenchronicles #strangerthings #sev #seven #stranger #things #water #waterbender #bender #powers #power #love #friendship #nonbinary #hawkins #hawkinslab #testsubject #test #subject https://www.instagram.com/p/ChbhJeUOSJr/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

https://www.youtube.com/embed/C8wlWMJtnuU?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8wlWMJtnuU)

I should like this but I do!

All aboard the friendship bus!

Don’t you two do anything.

Also OMG Mack! John Ratzenberger! YOU EXIST AGAIN!

Road trip squad animated!

I mostly do Cars but I can try for others.

Send me a character and a number for a headcanon.

Holiday headcanon

Cooking headcanon

Sleeping headcanon

Driving headcanon

Bathing/showering headcanon

Hugging headcanon

Kissing headcanon

Sex headcanon

General physical contact headcanon

Physical appearance headcanon

Wardrobe headcanon

Jewelry headcanon

Nickname headcanon

Dancing headcanon

Singing headcanon

Anger headcanon

Soft spot headcanon

Favorite possession headcanon

Favorite photograph headcanon

Relationship with/thoughts on _____ headcanon

Okay Lindsey Collins is going way too hard for Mia because it sounds less like she’s fangirling and more like she’s getting off.

Tia ends up sounding like a normal type of fangirling.

being the change i want to see in the world!!

pixar cars unpopular opinions/hot takes ask game

❤ - unpopular opinion about the movies

🧡 - unpopular opinion about the other cars media (shorts, comics, games, etc)

💛 - unpopular opinion about a main character

💚 - unpopular opinion about a side/background character

💙 - unpopular opinion about a ship/ships in general (keep it civil)

💜 - unpopular opinion about the fandom in general (no callouts please)

reblog if youd like to get some asks ✌

And then Holley saves their asses while Finn is in la la land waiting to die.

Holley: Oh Ford, you kidnap a tow truck without doing background check, you yell at me for shocking your informant when you had TWELVES HOURS to say something, and you got caught because you didn’t think to look up. And you call Mater the idiot? He at least no idea what he doing most of the time and I was mostly following your orders! 

Finn: Shut up woman! We have to stop this violence with the only way I know how: with MORE violence!

Holley: Should’ve seen that one coming. Just promise me your death count will be less than three today.

Finn: Yes.

Omg I just realized Finn is 100% willing to die for McQueen no question.