I Have An Idea Everyone Praise Me

Okay, Tumblr, we need to talk.

Listen, mermaids are not my thing. I am pretty indifferent towards them in general, but I see a lot of you in my dash posting about mermaids, so I saw this novel and even though I have just started it and I can’t tell you if it’s going to be good or not, I feel it is my civic duty to tell you it exists. Ready?

Ice Massacre, by Tiana Warner. 

A book about a little island at war with a growing colony of mermaids living in the waters around them. So they send warriors to fight them, but historically men don’t do very good against that mermaid lure magic thing they do, so they decide to send a ship full of highly trained girl warriors, and the protagonist is the one Useless Lesbian™ of the ship (who, by the way, also happens to be a lady of color, like most people in the island).

Like I said, mermaids are not my thing and I have only read a few chapters, but so far it is fast-paced and action-y, with a touch of fantasy. The kind of entertaining book you read fast and easy.

Sounds good? Happy to hear it. The paperback is fifteen dollars, but it’s literally less than a fucking dollar for Kindle right now and until July the 31st, because a sequel is coming out in two days and they are having a special offer.

Now go grab your fantasy lesbian mermaid girl warrior novel or something.  

Do you ever just start to get tired of someone taking you for granted, not putting in any effort and just expecting you to be there when it’s convenient for them because yeah

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

I actually do this because I'm a lonely little bitch

do you ever get so bored that you mentally create a verbal fight with you and somebody else and you get so into it and intense and angry about it and you suddenly realize it’s a fight you made up and you need to seriously lie down and relax

100% offense but milk makes your bones stronger and anyone who doesn't drink it must have broken some bones

100% offense but milk is nasty as hell who willingly drinks a whole glass of milk like you must have really been thru some things 

What tge fuck

ha?

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot” in their ask box

Harley & Ivy