Read More About Your Zodiac Sign Here

Neeeeeeeed

Strawberry Ice

A new daddy friend

Daddy: Princess, I'd like you to meet my friend.

Me: *looks up from my coloring book* It's nice to meet you!

Daddy: Those aren't very good manners, stand up and say hello properly.

Me: *bottom lip curls down into a pout and looks back at my crayons* Yes si-

Daddy's friend: Aw now, it's okay. She's obviously very busy. Can I see what you're working on?

Me: *all smiles again* Yes! It's ponies!*holds up my picture*

Daddy: *laughs and shakes his head* Come on man, you're gonna have to build up an immunity to pouty face if you want to be a daddy.

Daddy's friend: Dude. There's literally no way. That shit's kryptonite.

Me: *tugs on daddy's friend's pant leg* Excuse me!

Daddy's friend: *crouches down* What's up buttercup?

Me: You said a bad word. You have to sit on the pink stool over there until Daddy says you can play again.

Daddy's friend: *facepalm*

Daddy: *choking back laughter* You sure you want this to be your life?

Ughhh

Read more about your Zodiac sign

any mosquitos reading this? fuck you

When the time comes we will stand and be counted together. 

For America. For the world. For the greater good.

Literally me and reedy every second

Which Zodiac Squad would you fit in? Find out here

I AM SO UPSET BECAUSE I FOUND THIS BEAUTIFUL TREASURE AND IT’S 80 DOLLARS AND I CAN’T HAVE IT AND I WILL NEVER SEE IT AGAIN

LOOK

LOOK AT THEIR PASTA FACES

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

There’s religious people going door to door to convince atheists to become religious. Imagine how much controversy there would be if the roles were switched.