Every conclave fic I read that has the Aldo and Vincent conversation where Aldo still isnt sure about the new pope/his role in the Curia after the late pope’s death and he says something like “I never voted for you, you know, I voted for Thomas til the very end” only for Vincent to reply “Oh Aldo, I know, and so did I.”
And they finally connect because if they have nothing else in common at least they both love Thomas with their whole hearts …
arghhh it makes me go feral
Once again thinking about Vincent as pope…
Vincent hating the attention he’s given for doing simple things such as carrying his own bags, knowing the Swiss guards names, hugging children when they run up to him. Vincent despising how every human thing he does immediately becomes a headline: “Pope listening to music!” (He was wearing headphones and listening to some old favorites while hanging out with the turtles) “Innocent XIV goes shopping!” (He forgot to bring a book to the airport and just wanted to buy something to read on the plane) “The pope wears converse!” (He’d owned the same pair of shoes for three years, and he’d stitched them up himself after the fabric tore)
Vincent feeling more isolated than ever. Despite never being alone, there is not a single person who treats him as a person. He’s constantly watched, yet never invited into casual conversations, no one asks him to join them for coffee, no one rants about their boring work or tells him about their favorite books or talks about the weather.
Vincent waking up in a cold sweat most nights. Dreams of war haunting his sleep, the faces of the dead burned into his mind. He wakes up gasping for air, or screaming, or running to the bathroom to throw up.
Vincent sleeping on the floor more often than the bed. Vincent flinching at loud noises and always scanning the room for threats and ways to escape.
Vincent having flashbacks and panic attacks on the floor of his bathroom, not being able to call anyone for help because he’s the pope, he’s not allowed to fall apart or ask for help or take a break.
Vincent who cannot handle being snuck up on from behind, who can’t have meat that isn’t well done, Vincent who hides his shaking hands behind his back as he speaks about the saints who were stoned to death, because he knows what that looks like.
Vincent who once gets so startled by the bang of a bible being dropped onto the floor of St Peter’s cathedral while he’s holding mass that he instinctively ducks behind the altar, covering his head, sure that he’s back in the war. Vincent who has to continue his sermon with shaking hands and voice, with his normally so present and kind eyes suddenly showing a far-away look. And Vincent who has to read the headlines afterwards, despite Aldo doing his best to shield him.
I also think about Thomas.
Thomas who tries to joke with Vincent about how the masses have never seen a pope young enough to have the strength to carry his own bags, Thomas who reminds him that even though he is the pope, he’s still human.
Thomas who, despite this, is unable to call him Vincent. Thomas who has always seen the papacy as closest to the God he has such a hard time reaching, and Thomas who no longer sees Vincent when he looks at the pope.
Thomas who tries to comfort Vincent, but keeps calling him Your Holiness, and watching as Vincent pulls away more and more.
Thomas who once entered Vincent’s room at night to leave him an urgent document, and found the pope curled up on the floor.
Thomas who always sees when Vincent’s hands start to shake, who can sense Vincent’s breathing quicken and his eyes start searching for escape routes. Thomas who can’t do anything to help, because the pope cannot be seen having to be escorted away because of anxiety.
Thomas who tries to learn what triggers Vincent, Thomas who takes notes on what makes the pope flinch or shake or hide away. Thomas who discreetly informs the rest of the staff closest to Vincent about how important it is to never sneak up on him from behind, or serve him anything resembling torn off flesh.
Thomas who finally sees how Vincent is actually doing once the incident at mass happens. Thomas who argues with everyone to try to allow Vincent to end mass early, but failing. Thomas who sends the altar boys and deacons away from the sacristy once mass is over and finally greets the pope by his original name.
Thomas who opens his arms and his heart as he sees the shaking man in front of him. “Oh my dear Vincent” he says, and his heart breaks as Vincent falls into his arms and sobs.
Thomas who holds him tightly, whispering apologies for letting this continue, who promises to be better. Thomas who helps Vincent change out of his sweat soaked vestments, and who lets Vincent explain the horrors he’s seen.
I also think about Aldo
Aldo who’s in the background of it all. Who sees how the new pope seems to be getting even thinner than he was. Aldo who tries his best to minimize Vincent’s amount of paperwork on the days where the pope arrives to breakfast at 5 am with bloodshot eyes and holding his mug of tea with trembling hands.
Aldo who more than once has held up Vincent’s hair as he throws up after stressful meetings with world leaders who are decimating entire populations. Aldo who sometimes pretends not to see invites from some of the dictators he knows Vincent hates the most.
Aldo who tries his best to keep the news away from Vincent whenever he’s in the headlines. Aldo who brings Vincent hot chocolate whenever he knows an article will have upset him.
Aldo who always remembers to make his steps louder or clear his throat if he’s walking up to the pope from behind. Who will always make sure there is a vegetarian option that won’t remind the pope of wounded and dead bodies.
Aldo who every so often sees the pope’s eyes flicker to the side, and knows it means Vincent is quietly suppressing the most horrible flashbacks, even with a smile on his face. And Aldo who always makes sure he has an excuse ready to get Vincent out of situations when it happens.
Aldo who tries his very very best to make Thomas realise that Vincent needs him.
Aldo who feels a weight leave his heart once he sees Thomas leading a shaking Vincent through the halls of the Santa Martha, and who smiles when they both enter the Homy Father’s room.
Kiss me under the sistine chapel's black smoke. We found love in a popeless place.
some facts about robert prevost (leo xiv) that i think are important to know:
while he was born in chicago, he has spent the vast majority of his life outside of america. he went to rome at a young age, then spent most of his priesthood in peru
pope leo xiii was well known for his interest in social justice -- the fact that prevost chose this name may show that he also nurses an interest
he was one of pope francis' closest advisors
he's described as being balanced in terms of his outlook, but has progressive views on some specific issues, including migrants and poverty
he is relatively young -- we will probably have pope leo xiv for a long time
quote from CBS article: "While Prevost is seen overall as a centrist, on some key social issues he's viewed as progressive. He has long embraced marginalized groups, a lot like Francis, who championed migrants and the poor."
another quote: "Cardinal George of Chicago, of happy memory, was one of my great mentors, and he said: 'Look, until America goes into political decline, there won't be an American pope.' And his point was, if America is kind of running the world politically, culturally, economically, they don't want America running the world religiously. So, I think there's some truth to that, that we're such a superpower and so dominant, they don't wanna give us, also, control over the church." -Robert Barron, bishop of a diocese in Minnesota
so while it does leave a bad taste in the mouth to have an american pope at this time, he is definitely not the kind of pope trump will like, nor will the conservative base. while he probably won't catapult the church into a lot of uncharted territory, he does look as if he will at the very least continue and support the work francis laid the groundwork for
additional information:
apparently he is involved in sexual assault coverups -- not fantastic, but to be honest the entire catholic church is so incredibly guilty of this it's not surprising
robert prevost has tweeted five times since joining twitter. one of those tweets was telling jd vance he does not understand love
If we can all agree to call Robert Prevost by his new chosen name of Leo XIV then we can all call trans people by their chosen names. It’s not hard.
ok I just received the Autobiography of Mr. Spock and holy fucking shit
the section about kirk fully made me throw the book down, walk away, and lay on the floor for about 5 minutes
we have obviously "I have tried on many occasions to write about Jim Kirk. This seems to me an increasingly impossible task. Jim Kirk lies at the very heart of this account; he is present on every page, the ink in which these words have been written...How do you write about someone you have so deeply loved?" Which is just the most romantic and beautiful thing I have read in my life.
we also have "He changed the rules so that people would live. Jim was very bad with rules. Sometimes that could be irritating. More often than not, it was exhilarating."
the one that made me bawl "That letter took a while to reach me, and I often think of it, in transit, containing the news that Jim was both alive and dead. That was the only time that I regretted my mission to Romulus, and I did regret it, bitterly. If only I had been present, somehow. Perhaps I might have saved his life, again (although he told me, once, that he would die alone). Was that not what we did, after all-save each other's life, again and and again? At the very least, I might have seen him, one last time. I have not been to see his grave. I believe I can permit myself one illusion in life." which just...holy FUCK
(you will see him again spock I swear 😭)
and the one that hit me like a brick, referring to the first time he met Jim, "I recall that Jim's face like up, with a smile like the sun. 'I think,' he said, 'that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.' He was not wrong."
these motherfuckers i need to be sedated like yesterday
I don't care if he's moderate and not the worst option. The USA did not need another reason to think they are the center of the universe.
Aperol spritz,, conclave rewatch and writing chap 7 of Oh, good god, let me give you my life,,, can life get better?? (https://archiveofourown.org/works/65218507)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/65218507
I HAVE CONCLAVE MOVIE THOUGHTS
so, unlike every single other cardinal, when Vincent arrives, he’s dressed simply. He’s not wearing those freaky church garments, just jeans and a shirt and jacket. Right from the get go, his costume is telling us what he will say later ‘the church is not tradition, the church is what we do next.’ Vincent only cares about whether he can help people through his faith, and is uninterested in all the other parts of being a cardinal. Right before his announcement as pope, we see him dressed simply again- even after gaining the highest post possible in the Roman Catholic Church, Vincent’s priorities haven’t changed. They never will.
But he’s not the ONLY cardinal we see wearing normal clothing…because we also see Lawrence wearing normal clothes. In his case tho, it’s in private, and it only happens once. It’s also shown during a scene where Lawrence is frustrated with the curio and with his managerial duties. Lawrence is also, in some ways, only concerned with his moral duty- but unlike Vincent, for Lawrence his moral compulsions also include maintaining the cardinals and the sanctity of the church. And when he’s frustrated and disillusioned with this work…we see him outside his cardinal garments.
Either way. The only cardinals we ever see outside that robe and cross- are the only ones in that council with integrity and a drive to do what’s right before doing what’s right for the church. Ain’t that something.
I hope no one takes any pope posting I may do as me supporting this guy or the catholic church. I think american pope is a rancid idea. but chicago pope is also the funniest thing I've ever heard