toto and you accidentally calling him daddy and being scared he won’t like it but then he’s like “say it again” and goes feral ☠️ i need to be stopped pls
- 🦕
GRGIRGJI THIS IS SOOO GOOD YES ANON. hes truly One Daddy To Rule Them All.
afab gn reader, warning for daddy kink obvs
he's got you in his lap, his back against the headboard as you ride him
his large hands are on your hips, guiding the way you rise and roll back down onto his thick cock, deep voice rumbling in praise every time you take him to the hilt once more
"that's it, i knew you could do it, always so good"
and that's when it slips out, with your head nestled in the bend between his shoulder and neck
"thank you, daddy"
he freezes, his grip on your waist tightening as you whip your head back to stare at him with rabbit-in-headlight eyes
"i-i'm so sorry, oh my g-" you begin, only for your apology to be silenced by toto's mouth on your own - a deep, hungry kiss, his teeth nipping and pulling your bottom lip
you moan into the kiss, hips subconsciously grinding against his cock once more
when he breaks the kiss, you're both panting for breath, his forehead still pressed against yours as he asks if you're sure
and when you nod in return, a small smile toying at your lips as you reply with a teasing "yes, daddy", you don't understand why the world is suddenly upside down until toto is fucking into you and you realise he's flipped you both other
he hoists your legs up around his waist, pulling your arms above your head and pinning them there with one strong hand
"say it. say it again."
he's fucking growling down at you, and you can't refuse, even if the rough thrusts of his hips are making it hard for you to form words
"d-daddy! fuck! daddy!"
he groans again, a deep, desperate sound at the base of his throat, and releases your wrists to move your legs once more, pulling them up around his shoulders, bending you nearly in half
he's so deep you feel like you can hardly breathe, let alone think
the only thing you can say is your broken litany of "daddy--!", shaped around moans and whines that edge into screams as he presses circles into your clit with his thumb
"that's right, so good for me -- cum for me, cum for daddy, yes?"
and you can't deny him, you can never deny toto, not when he coos into your ear like that and rolls his hips so deep you think he's ruined you for all other men, forever
afterwards, he cleans you up, holding you against his chest with strong arms
"so you're uh... into that?"
he grumbles something suspiciously similar to "don't push your luck", and you laugh
𝐡𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝟏 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥
𝘂𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝟭𝟬: 𝘆𝘂𝗸𝗶 𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗼𝗱𝗮 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 | 𝗮𝗯-𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴/𝗳𝗿𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲
📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: your mental state is suffering–you’re not sure if you can handle alphatauri posting another thirst trap of your boyfriend to disguise their inability to build a car that doesn’t break within the first ten laps. but, when yuki posts his own half-naked picture on main? he’s asking for it, at this point. clearly, he’s been spending too much time with pierre. 📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 18+ only. explicit. ab-riding. pierre gasly is his own warning. no penetrative sex. 📖𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 1k words. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: yuki tsunoda x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: drabble. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: best friend • saweetie ft. doja cat
𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: this is actually the dirtiest fic, in theory yk. yuki has my heart, and i'm single handedly going to fill tumblr with my posts about him, thank you, good night.
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cross-posted on my ao3, htppsss
to see what kinktober uploads have already been completed or to see what's coming next check my f1 kinktober masterlist ! for all of my works see my general masterlist!
you can’t stand his smug ass smirk. he knows damn well how you feel about his thirst traps. sure, alphatauri milks any chance of plastering yuki across their social media page to fail at distracting fans from the fact that their the slowest car on the grid, and that they can’t build a car that doesn’t fall apart like legos. but, yuki, posting practically-naked (he’s only shirtless, so really you’re mildly exaggerating) pictures on his main instagram page?? he’s not george-fucking-russell, so, why the hell would he do that?
there’s only two answers to this question, and they’re both correct. one, pierre gasly—the french bastard. you can’t leave them together unsupervised. and two, to make you mad. 9which you very much are, so, yuki achieved what he wanted. he’s especially thrilled, when you shove him down onto your bed, and straddle his lap, angrily tugging his shirt off. yuki grins up at you, satisfied at where a simple shirtless picture lead him to. he should listen to pierre more often, his ex-teammate might have good ideas, however rare they are. once his shirt is off, you freeze, breathing heavily as you drink in the sight of his torso. you lean forward and start sucking marks into his pecs, biting into the meat of his chest, and tracing the definition of his abs with your tongue. yuki’s moans rumble in his chest, and he lets his eyes flutter shut and basks under the thorough claim you’re leaving on his body. at least you’re kind enough to avoid placing any marks high enough to where they could be seen from the neck of a shirt—alphatauri will just have to post pre-filmed videos they have in the vault while your hickeys fade, they’ll survive.
you erratically jerk away again, and strip your bottoms off, shoving your underwear down and tossing them behind you. you tug your shirt up until it bunches under your armpits, and you drag the cups of your bra underneath your chest, causing them to spill over the top obscenely. roughly grabbing at your boyfriend’s hands, you direct them to grasp at your boobs, and command, “keep your abs flexed.” yuki makes a noise of confusion, but you don’t elaborate any further. you lower yourself to sit on his abdomen, and grind across him slowly, testing the waters. your head falls forward from the zing of pleasure that races up your spine, and you quickly start rabbiting your hips across the dips and ridges of his muscles.
yuki is rendered speechless at your motions. he was expecting you to ride his dick, not his abs. he’s not going to complain about this, though. you’re rubbing yourself off on his torso—your moans are bitten off and rough, and your grinds are deep and forceful to make sure your clit catches on every sharp edge of his abdomen. it’s the dirtiest thing yuki’s ever seen you do, usually he’s the one being unhinged. he squeezes at your chest rhythmically, dropping his hands to your chest eventually to watch how your breasts bounce at every shift you make—he sighs contentedly, this is heaven.
he brings one hand to reach around you and palm himself over his shorts, but is denied the chance to do so. you hiss at him meanly, and pull his hand back to your waist, eyes flashing at him in warning. yuki falters under the commanding glint of your gaze, maybe he pushed you too far this time. he adjusts his grip on your body and takes some of the load off you, and guides your hips against his body for you—he could feel your thighs begin to tremble in exhaustion and based on how deadest you’ve become on getting yourself off on his abs, he doesn’t want to feel any additional wrath when your release slips from your grasp.
a squeal of relief rattles through your chest at how yuki does the hard work for you. he moves your body exactly how you crave, and you find it incredibly difficult to remember why you were mad in the first place. instead of your thighs shaking in tiredness—you’re thankfully not used to being the one putting all the work in, your boyfriend’s stamina is appreciated—they begin to quiver as you get closer to cumming. your own hand comes to tug at your nipples, looking for any last flare of pleasure to push you over the edge. the wetness you’ve spread across his abs has started to lessen the friction you feel against your cunt. yuki sees the frustration furrowing your brow, and shifts his right hand down over your navel so his thumb can rub at your clit. you gasp, throwing your head back at white-hot burst of contentment behind your eyes, and all it takes is a few more furious passes of yuki’s fingers on your cunt, as the coil snaps inside your core, and waves of bliss crash over you.
yuki slips his hand away, and guides you to ride out the aftershocks on his abs. he moans at the sight of pure satisfaction on your face, and how you’ve soaked his torso, reminding him what belongs to you, with no room for vagueness. you eventually slow your roll, and fall to the side off yuki. the two of you pant as you stare at the ceiling, allowing the rapid beats of your hearts to slow.
you tilt your head to face him, and smile dopily at the sight of yuki staring at his navel. you’ve drenched him with your release, and it glistens beautifully on his tanned skin. if you were truly unhinged, you’d take a picture with your hand rubbing your wetness across his skin, and post it for everyone to see. the contrasting shades of your skin under the light of golden hour would look perfect. it would probably cost your boyfriend’s career, so maybe that’s not an equal exchange.
hummingly faintly, you stumble off 9ithe bed, legs still shaking as you walk towards the bathroom. “you can get yourself off. you’re not fucking me for a week—“ yuki makes an alarmed noise, sputtering in disbelief, struggling to find his words, “oh, don’t get mouthy with me. i could make it so you never fuck me again—i just gave you enough material to last you for that long.” you slam the bathroom door shut, and yuki’s mouth hangs open in shock. fuck, pierre. he’s never listening to his suggestions ever again.
taglist: @lorarri @soph1644 @jaydensluv @fanboyluvr @nissaimmortal @redgonerogue @hollie911 @saintwrld@buendiabebeta@butterfly-lover@lana-d3l-rey@dylan1721 @spicybagel14 @dhhdhsiavdhaj@miahgonzalez16@jjaekin @dkbj14 @f1lover55 @f1lov3r @mindless-rock@biancathecool@barnestatic@sweetpiccolo-blog@my-ylenia @zaynzierulez@reblog-princess-blog @lovingaphroditesworld @katekipshidze @darleneslane @inloveallthetime
© httpsserene 2023
! Merry (late) Christmas !
summary: Y/n is Kimi's favorite santa.
warnings: age gap, romance, too cute🫶, Not retired Kimi!! rawdogging(not proofread)
author's 🗒️'s: i haven't had much time for writing so i did a bit of a cutesy christmas fic for the part 2 hope its good w u guyss <33 enjoy loves!!
( Seb nd Kimi arent retired, reader is at AM with Lance!!)
part 1, part 2, ...
______
It's Christmas. Secret santa with the grid and snow. Well not snow because all of us are still in Abu Dhabi. Knowing glances exchanged after the secret santa pulling. If i remember correctly i was pulled by i think Lance. Im not sure if it really was Lance, but the canadian is a pleasure to know and is just perfect at gifts.
I pulled Kimi, the legend, and my best friend. Maybe my best friend. Knowing how he and Seb are. Obviously it's not only platonic feelings with the way he acts around me.
Thinking about presents for Kimi is rather hard, seeing he doesn't really have a thing he likes but doesn't have. I'd say alcohol but do i wanna heed into his alcoholism? A bit, but only if it means i get a gift for him.
-
The tea in front of me was cold, but the weather kept me warm. Sebastian sat opposite of me, asking for advice on what he should get for Oscar.
"What about i buy him, his gift and you buy Kimi's for me." I suggest a deal thinking of all the things i could give Oscar.
"Don't know what to buy your little boyfriend, eh Y/n?" Teasing smirk pulling on his mouth, the german dared me for an answer.
Eyes rolling into the depths of the back of my head, showing clear annoyance yet he still kept talking.
"Maybe you could finally confess to him, he's all over you whenever you're near him anyway" Sassy tone pulling out his german accent, the sentence making my jaw drop lower with every word. Catching my jaw, i shook my head. Trying to act unbothered, sipping from the lemon tea in my hand.
"Are you really this bored, that you're invested in your two best friend's love life ? Old man." I look away as i hear Kimi's voice in the distance. My head turned to see him talking to Mark Webber, possibly an interview with all those cameras around. The signature straight smile from Kimi appeared. Uncomfortable aura around him.
I nodded back to Seb only to see him already looking at me. 'What?' I silently asked him, only getting a knowing look back.
"Let's just buy those gifts before i regret even sitting here."
-
Giddy feeling in my stomach affecting my hold on the wrapped object. Looking at the usual secret santa interviewer making small talk, handing over the gift.
The wrapping contained a letter and an object Seb helped me pick. I feel kind of weird, specifically the fact that i don't know if he will like it is weird.
After half an hour, the interviewer approached me again, cameramen following close by. Small talk exchanged as she got ready for the video.
"Okay! One, two, and three, it's on!" A smiley voice came from her notifying me.
I was handed a gift box and the santa hat. Placing the hat on my head i examined the box, wrapped in pink wrapping paper which had hearts written all over it. All i gathered is that it must be one of my friends. I brought it up to my ears to shake and maybe smell.
The shaking part was unsuccessful since the box made nearly no noise, however the smell was gentle yet slightly familiar. Kimi's cologne. Versace eros eau de toilette. The one you recommended to him, because you liked it. Mint and lemon are dominant over the smell of paper.
"That's Kimi." I looked up knowingly, smiling a bit.
"Smells like him. Unless it's Seb and he's again interested in my business." Rolling my eyes, earning a snicker from the woman handling the microphone.
I start opening the paper gently, since i wanna save the heart on it. As soon as i take the top off, i see what i got. Caramel chocolate and snacks from my home country, paired with a bottle of jägermeister. Underneath these items there's a hoodie, unfolding it i see the embroidery on it.
'No. 7'
Holding it close to my nose, i smell it. Versace.
___
author's 🗒️'s: I kind of left it on a cliffhanger but im traveling 4 hours tomorrow im gonna do the end tomorrowww :PPPPP anyways cuties i hope my writing isnt a disaster im so sleepy rn its an actual nightmare...
taglist: @i-wish-this-was-me , @keii134 , @littlesatanicassholebitch <3
Sd! Jenson and sd! Seb getting thanked after they spoiled you all day long?!?? Like holy, they may go rough now but the aftercare is so nice, they would probably give you massages and some hot chocolate, pepper you with kisses, next morning they’d probably still thank you by eating you out 🤭 (if you don’t do threesomes feel free to just do either one of them!) I’m also sending this as a request but I’m not too sure whether it’s still open.. feel free to ignore it if you’re too busy though!
-jenson anon ❤️ (have a great day!)
hi love! hope you're having a good day too! gonna do sd!seb cause I never get to write him :) -- all consent given prior to anything happening!
It had been a long night.
Sebastian arrived home from his race earlier than expected and he decided that he want to take you out for dinner and do a little shopping since we haven't seen you in a while.
And of course, an afternoon together ended with you two in bed. All different positions, all different locations, the two of you giggling and touching and sweet whispers in between. You knew you two had an arrangement; he took care of you and you gave him your time in return but it was moments like these that made you never want to let him leave.
The sun peeks through the thick curtains in his bedroom, you're laying on your back and your head turned to the side, but he can hear the little snores slipping past your lips.
Sebastian tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, kissing your jaw softly. You mumble something and stir but you were still fast asleep. He kisses down your neck, along your shoulder to your chest and down your torso.
You shift a bit, Seb glances up at you to check if you were still asleep.
The lack of clothes from last night's activities only made it easier for him. His hand snaking up your thigh, rubbing over your hip. Sebastian’s holding your legs apart when you feel his tongue against you. Thighs on either side of his head, you weren't fully against his face but Sebastian’s hands grip the back of your thighs, pulling you closer to him.
He can feel your thighs close enough him, a signal that you were now awake. If that wasn't enough, the hand tangled in his hair was.
The blonde is smooth under your fingers, little tangled curls hook on your fingers as you pull on it, his name falling from your lips a million times over; as sweet as a prayer but the context was down right sinful.
Sebastian’s tongue curled upwards, brushing against your clit and you tug on his hair, something incoherent meets his ears.
“That- oh.” Your chest heaves, head falling back into the couch cushions.
He smiles, your legs shaking as he pulls away from you. Your cheeks go red when you see his face glistening, nose to chin. Seb’s tongue slides across his lips, a satisfied smile on his face.
"Good morning," his cheek rests on your inner thigh, looking up at you. "Mhm, no more racing," you hook your leg over him. "You can stay here and do that."
Seb laughs, "whatever you want, pretty girl."
Anything and everything on Seb’s breeding kink please and thank youuuu
😩😩😩😩 this got a little bit... whoooooo.... seb is a dirty mfker.
___________
the first time sebastian let his breeding kink slip, you were too dumbed out to truly comprehend that he was serious— and he'd do good on his promise to truly fuck a baby into you.
"huh, liebchen. 's too fucking good, i might just—" sebastian grips your hips from sheer fucking pleasure, as all ounce of restraint leaves his body, as he sinks into you. the feeling of you has him thinking about another kid won't hurt. he'd rather get pierced by an arrow before he's separated from your body.
"seb," you groan, breathless from need, so impatient that you started to move your hips, awarding a sharp hiss from him, and he has to physically shrink away to refrain from just letting go. "baby, fuck, wait." he exhales sharply. "always so impatient." he reproaches, tapping your ass in reproach. "my balls are too fucking full for you to act like a brat."
"who's fucking fault is it then?" you respond with a bite, reminding him of his lack of preparedness. he's got you holed up in the middle of an admittedly, beautiful lodge in the swiss mountains, but he's forgot to bring some good old rubber.
"watch your mouth." sebastian swats your ass, harder this time, making you jolt. "but if you want my cum so fucking bad, then," he snaps his hips, "we're not stopping until you're full of me." he groans, feeling you stir, "shit, you liked that huh? want to be full of my cum, baby?" he knew how to fuck you, and he knew which places you felt him in your freaking guts. you were gripping his shoulders for dear life, a plethora of moans and whimpers of his name were things that sounded like music to his ears.
"say, i'm going to fuck a baby in you to straighten you up," he strains as he feels your walls clench around him, "fuck, liebchen. you're a vixen..."
you huff a moan, muffled by the pillows, unable to process anything outside of the overwhelming need. "sebastian, let's just—" you tamper down the tempting allure of throwing all rationality away.
"no words, no thinking." his voice softens for a moment, "i got you baby."
Mika Häkkinen and the f1 soft boi era ✨️
𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]
PAIRINGS — James Wilson x fem!Reader
SUMMARY — It was never Reader's plan to be a single mother to a newborn child, but a longtime friend steps in and before long they both have the family they've always wanted, the only catch: they're still just friends
WORD COUNT — 13.6K
WARNINGS — mentions of pregnancy and birth, breastfeeding (like non descriptive? does this need to be a warning?)
NOTE — Okay this fic has been in the works for a while and I have been swamped with school so I'm so happy I'm finally able to post something because it's literally been a full-ass month since I last came out with anything ._. hoping once finals are over I can get back into my writing groove and give some of my ideas the attention they deserve!
Middle photo credit goes to @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey
“Are you sure this is okay?” you looked back while holding a baby carrier in both hands.
“Like I told you back at the hospital, and in the car, and then again in the car, I promise this is okay,” James assured you, following right behind, bags under each arm. “You just went through a 40 hour labour, did you really think it would be a smart move to come home alone?”
He was right about that, physically you were exhausted, you were sure how much longer you could keep your eyes open.
“Go take a shower, I’ll look after her until you get out,” he suggested. “If you had a support person here you would have taken shifts.”
“I know, but you have a life James,” you sighed. “One that didn’t involve your friend getting pregnant and then taking care of her.”
“Would it make it any better if I told you I really don’t mind? I like spending time with you, it’s why we’ve been friends for so long,” he put the bags down by the table and then placed a hand on your shoulder.
“James, I love you, but I’m going to be brutally honest because my filter has vanished. This is what happens to all your wives, all your girlfriends. I really don’t need that happening to us too,” you said.
“It won’t,” he pressed. “Come on, just take the shower. I know you want to.”
You sighed, “Alright, but I’m not gonna call for you to come in the middle of the night and every which time of day. If you want to come and see us, do it of your own accord and if you don’t want to then don’t,” you emphasized. “Do what you want, not what you think I want.”
“If I say I will, will you go take a shower?” James asked and you rolled your eyes at him.
“Don’t drop my baby while I’m in there, okay?” you pointed at him. “You still owe me for that vase you broke.”
“You mean the tacky one your crappy ex-boyfriend’s mom gave you? I think I did you a favour there.”
“You’re insufferable sometimes, you know?” you said carefully putting the carrier down in the living room and looking down at your resting daughter for a moment before heading towards your room.
“I love you too,” he said simply, replacing you by her side and keeping a close eye on her while she slept.
You had to admit, it was a relief to be able to step into the shower, knowing there was someone you trusted outside looking after the small human you were now fully responsible for. At least before dealing with the stress and everything that would come afterwards you’d be able to be clean.
When you came out of your bedroom after your shower, dressed in the most comfortable clothes you could find lying around, you saw James in the kitchen, the carrier now propped up on the table while he unpacked something from some grocery bags.
“I was craving Indian, do you want some?” he asked.
“Of course I do, the food at your hospital sucks, hand it over,” you put your hand out and he gave you a bowl so you could serve yourself some rice and curry. “She’s still asleep?”
“Woke up once, but I got her to fall back asleep pretty easily. She might get hungry soon though too.”
“So I should eat while I still have the chance,” you sat down at the island and began munching on the food, turning around the carrier so you could see your daughter.
It was interesting, she’d been around only for a short few days but you could barely ever take your eyes off her.
“Did you pick a name for her yet?” James asked, leaning over the table and eating his portion of dinner.
“I think so,” you nodded. “I was between two when she was born, but now that I look at her she fits one better than the other.”
“So what’s the winner?”
“Liana,” you smiled and brushed your fingers along her small curled toes. “It suits her doesn’t it?”
“I think it does,” he nodded. “You made a pretty cute baby.”
“I made a very cute baby, thank you very much,” you scoffed with a chuckle. “You think you could do better?”
“Well I don’t have a uterus so I don’t think we’ll ever be able to find out,” he shook his head. “Shame, I probably would have demolished you.”
“As if,” you laughed, continuing to eat more food just as Liana began to stir awake. “And there’s my cue.”
You stood up and carefully took her out of the carrier, cautious of supporting her neck before moving over to the couch where you could comfortably feed her.
“Once you’re done I’ll burp her,” James said. “So you can keep eating.”
“Sure,” you nodded. “Got practice from your med school days?”
“Yeah, actually,” he nodded. “I thought originally I might specialize in working in the NICU so I spent a lot of time in the maternity ward.”
“What made you change your mind?” you asked.
“I would have burnt out,” he admitted. “Seeing babies and spending time with them is one thing, but seeing them sick and sometimes not get better? It’s a lot harder than you’d imagine.”
You hummed thoughtfully, “You would have been good in that department if you decided to go that route. I think at least.”
“Really, why do you think so?”
“James, you’ve always been great with kids and parents. Don’t you remember how we met?”
He chuckled to himself, “Summer camp days. Yeah, you really did have to know your way around both.”
“You somehow managed, as a nineteen-year-old, to calm a child who was freaking out about staying away from home and dealing with an unhappy parent of a different child. I think your people skills just got better as you got older.”
“I don’t think there’s much in life that trains you to deal with crises as much as being a camp counsellor.”
“You can test your skills with Liana and see if you’ve still got the magic when it comes to babies,” you teased, followed by a yawn.
“Trust me, I definitely do,” he assured you. “Babies love me.”
“And do you love babies?”
“I do, and I think I’m gonna end up loving yours a little more than most,” he admitted.
“Good, she’s gonna need it,” you sighed. “I’m gonna need it.”
There was a pause for a moment before James spoke up again,
“Have you talked to him since the break up?” he asked and you shook your head, feeling the tears develop in your eyes.
“I don’t really want to talk about it, not right now,” you whispered, looking down at Liana again.
James did not peg your boyfriend as the abandoning type, but after he had coaxed the news out of you during one of your visits, he could see how much it crushed you to think of what lied ahead. Not because you didn’t want a child, but because Liana was all you wanted and you thought you were on the same page as your partner, but when it came down to things he couldn’t hold up the mask he’d been wearing any longer.
“You should talk about it sometime though, right?” James said softly. “Doesn’t have to be with me, but you’ve been so laser focused on getting through the past nine months you haven’t really processed what happened.”
Liana had since finished feeding and you carried her over to the kitchen island, passing James a burp cloth that he could drape across his shoulder before taking her from your hands, after you pressed a small kiss to her forehead.
“Not sure if I want to process it,” you admitted. “I’d rather focus on her.”
“And I’d rather you take care of yourself so you don’t crash and burn,” he said.
You knew he was right, but it was nicer to pretend you were alone from start to finish than even imagining the possibility that someone was supposed to be with you through everything. The doctors appointments, the morning sickness, the preparation.
Instead you ended up feeling like a burden to your friends who had gone out of their way to help you and be there for you.
“Okay,” you nodded simply. “I’ll do it for you and her then.”
“It’ll end up being for you in the end,” he assured. “But just…trust me on this okay?”
“I do,” you smiled. “Just like I trust you with her.”
You finished eating your dinner while James took care of Liana and even managed to get her to go back to sleep. It seemed that even though she’d only been in the world a short while, she felt just as safe in his arms as she did in yours.
“You can put her down if you want. I have a cot set up in my room,” you pointed.
“I’m alright like this,” he shook his head. “I’ll hold her until you’re done then I’ll leave you guys so you can get some sleep.”
Considering how hungry you were, it didn't take that much longer for you to finish eating and while you cleared up the dishes, James went and put Liana down in her bed and then gathered his things so he could give you some time alone.
“I’ll see you around, James. Thanks for coming to help today,” you gave him a big hug and he held you tight in that way he would when he wanted to say something, but knew it should probably wait.
“Anytime,” he gave you an additional squeeze. “You’re gonna be a great mom. You are a great mom already. I’m really happy for you.”
You couldn’t bring yourself to say any words in response so you just nodded your head and held onto him tighter. After a moment he pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek.
“Love you, now go get some sleep.”
“You’ve got it Dr. Wilson,” you saluted him.
You walked him out of the door and after closing it shut behind him you took a deep breath. It was going to be hard, but you could do it.
—
A few months later…
“Don’t you have a life?” you yawned, bouncing Liana in your arms to try and get her to fall asleep.
“I mean I went bowling with House last night and I consistently stay late at work, and that’s about it, so no,” James shook his head.
“So you figured that coming and bothering me is a good use of your spare time.”
“I wouldn’t call it bothering,” James gave you a look. “I made you dinner.”
“Yeah you did, and unfortunately it was really good too,” you sighed. “So you just want to hang out with me and Liana?”
“Yeah, is that so hard to believe?”
“A little considering I always have baby vomit on me now,” you chuckled.
“It brings out your eyes,” he teased. “Here, why don’t I take her.”
“Last time I agreed to that you riled her up, which I didn’t think was possible for a three month old,” you eyed him skeptically.
“I promise I’ll put her to sleep,” he crossed his heart.
“Wrong religion, James,” you shook your head and he laughed.
“Do you want me to swear on the Torah?”
“It would help,” you nodded.
“Alright, I swear on the Torah that I won’t rile her up.”
You reluctantly passed Liana over to James and scoffed when she almost immediately stopped fussing.
“See,” he smiled and kissed her small nose while he rocked her gently, making her eyes slowly close as she fell asleep.
“You two are in kahoots. She’s fine whenever you’re not around, but when you are it’s like she knows she can get passed off to you if she’s fussy enough,” you laughed a little. “It’s cute though, I like how much she likes you.”
“Me too, why do you think I keep coming here?”
“So you came to visit, what do you want to do?” you asked. “My plans were to clean the kitchen and do laundry, so not much more exciting than sitting around at home.”
“Why don’t you let me put her down then we can tackle the kitchen together. I mean I did make half of the mess there.”
“I won’t argue with you there,” you sighed and put your hands on your hips. “Okay, I’m gonna throw a load in before you put her down.”
It took a little bit for James to be confident Liana was fully asleep before putting her down in her cot and then meeting you again in the kitchen where you were packing up leftovers from dinner.
“Have you had many visitors?” James asked.
“Well, I do have this one guy that keeps coming around, about this tall, practicing oncology, I think he’s a little bit obsessed with me,” you joked.
“Aside from me,” he shook his head and went over to the dishes.
“Yeah, a few. My parents were here for a bit while you were out of town and then some of my friends have come around to help with a few things here and there and to meet Liana.”
“Nice.”
“You sound like you want to say something,” you looked back at him.
“It’s not too much having me over all the time, is it?”
“No, not at all,” you shook your head. “You know me, I’d tell you if it was.”
“Because I really do like spending time with you both. It’s a lot nicer than going to an empty house at the end of the day,” he admitted. “So if you don’t mind, maybe I can keep bothering you and making a mess in your kitchen.”
“I think that would be okay,” you smiled.
You cleaned in silence for a bit before James began asking a few questions about Liana.
“She had an appointment with her pediatrician recently, right? Everything went okay?”
“Yeah, fit as a fiddle,” you sighed. “Thank goodness.”
“Have you decided if you’re gonna use formula yet? Or will you wait it out?”
“I was actually going to ask you about this, whenever I ask anyone I think has an opinion I’d like to hear they say I need to make the decision myself and then everyone I don’t want to hear from seems to have something to say,” you chuckled. “What do you think? As a doctor?”
“I mean, if I were in your situation I might wait a bit longer, she’s still pretty young and there’s no real reason to switch over yet. I think a lot of people start maybe around 12 months and from what I’ve seen that works well,” he shrugged.
“Thanks for giving me a straight answer,” you placed a hand on his arm. “I also don’t know if I should try and take leave from work or hire a nanny, but I think I probably have to figure that one out myself.”
“Do you have enough savings to take the time off?” he asked.
“I get a few more months paid leave from the company I work for since I have seniority, but after that I have to figure out what to do. I think I have enough saved to last me some time, but I’m going to have to go back eventually.”
James hummed thoughtfully.
“Do you wanna come up with solutions tonight or relax now that we’ve finished cleaning?” he asked, motioning his head to the kitchen that was definitely in better shape than before.
“Let’s watch a movie or something, I don’t think I’ve turned the TV on since Liana was born. I’ll fold the laundry when it’s done while we watch,” you said. “I’ll figure something out later.”
“We should watch, oh jeez what’s that thing we started ages ago and never finished?”
“The really bad soap?” you asked and he nodded, “Oh yes, we’re definitely watching that.”
“Okay, you go get settled, I’m gonna make some tea, do you want some?”
“Sure, just make me whatever you’re having,” you nodded and grabbed the remote from under the pile of blankets on the couch, turning on the TV and trying to find the episodes you had recorded to watch later.
By the time James had finished making the tea, you had found the show and were just about to start it.
“Here,” James passed you the mug. “So what was the last thing that happened?”
“I think the main guy was sleeping with the head nurse, right and then there was the whole thing with her being engaged to the other surgeon and then her sister was in a coma?”
“Wait, I thought the surgeon she was engaged to was sleeping with one of his patients?”
“He was,” you nodded. “It was a whole thing.”
“Alright, just start it, I’m sure I’ll remember more as we watch.”
James was very sorely mistaken, if anything he’d gotten more confused and you were absolutely no help because nothing was making sense anymore.
“What is up with the writing?” you asked. “Like did they just completely forget they had a whole storyline dedicated to this huge procedure and now they’re acting like nothing happened.”
“Don’t get me started, that guy was doing surgery without gloves, like that doesn’t even take much effort to get right. You’d think it was common sense,” James added.
“Maybe we should turn it off,” you looked over at your friend, “it’s getting us all riled up.”
James pressed his lips together, “I know, but I kind of want to find out who’s the father of Paula’s baby.”
You leaned back into the couch, you had managed to fold all the laundry, and it was still a little too early to go to sleep, you supposed a few more episodes couldn’t hurt.
“If I fall asleep, just lock up on your way out, okay?” you looked over at him and he nodded as you started the next episode.
Just as you predicted, about halfway through the second episode you began to drift off, and as soon as James noticed, he stopped the episode already having decided you could finish it together another time.
He shifted you slightly so you were lying down on the couch instead of in the uncomfortable position you were in before, placing a blanket over top of you. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek, wishing you a good night before going to check on Liana, and after seeing she was sleeping soundly and the baby monitor was on, he saw himself out, taking your spare key from where it was hidden on the porch and locking the door.
—
“How’s my girl doing?” James grinned, scooping Liana out of your arms. “I haven’t seen you in so long,” he kissed her nose making her giggle.
“James, you were here two days ago,” you laughed.
“And it feels like an eternity.”
You crossed your arms over your chest, “She’s got you wrapped around her finger.”
“I don’t mind,” he shrugged. “Just as long as we get to spend time together.”
“Yeah, well she hasn’t napped yet so it can wait until after that,” you reached to take her back but James insisted he could put her to sleep. “James, you just got off work are you sure you don’t want to eat something or take a break for a bit?”
“This is like a break for me,” he assured you.
“Okay, I’m gonna make a salad, come out and eat when you’re done.”
James nodded and went off to the bedroom so he could sit on the armchair there and coax her to sleep.
Usually he didn’t need more than twenty minutes to half an hour to put her down, so when you were hitting the forty-five minute mark you wondered if Liana was being fussy, so you went to check in on them, instead seeing James fast asleep on the armchair with Liana snuggled against his chest.
You bit back a big smile and went to go grab your camera quickly, and quietly snapped a shot of the two of them.
Not wanting to wake either of them, you made your way back to the kitchen, shutting the door of the room behind you to make sure the sound didn’t travel.
Figuring it might be a while before James came back out, you decided to eat your dinner, that way you could take Liana from him when they woke up so he could get something to eat too.
As you had predicted, James exited the room about an hour later, Liana now awake and hungry for her own dinner.
“Want me to take her now?” you teased and he rolled his eyes while you took your baby from him, sitting on the couch to feed her while he grabbed himself something to eat. “You had a good nap?”
“Great actually, I think I needed it. Been pulling a lot of late nights at the office getting paperwork done,” he admitted. “I’m surprised you didn’t wake me.”
“You looked comfortable, I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Well, I appreciate it cause I needed the sleep,” he sighed and came and sat next to you while he began to eat his dinner.
“James, I…I tried to talk to him the other week,” you said, knowing he would be able to connect the dots back to your ex. “I’d been meaning to tell you, it just slipped my mind I guess.”
“You did…what did he say?”
“God, I’m gonna start crying again,” you let out a humourless chuckle and lifted a hand to wipe away the tears beginning to form in your eyes. “It doesn’t matter what he said. What matters is that it was probably good that we broke up. He wouldn’t have been a good father or husband for that matter when it came down to it.”
“I’m proud of you for reaching out anyways. It takes a lot of guts to do that after someone leaves you.”
You nodded your head, “I’m just…I know I said you should keep coming here because you want to, but I really do like having you around. It just makes it seem simpler. Easier,” you looked over at him. “You’re a good friend Jamie, I love you.”
“Love you too,” he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, watching as your attention turned back to your daughter as she finished feeding.
You held her just like that in your arms for a little while longer, watching as she reached out for your fingers and then tried to go even further to grab James. Clearly her attention was addictive because he was ready to put his food down to help burp her, but you made a teasing remark about him hogging her and that he needed to eat his food so you’d take care of it and he could have her when he was done.
Eventually, you traded Liana for James’ dishes and went to load the dishwasher while he kept her occupied, letting her gnaw on his tie while making all sorts of nonsensical baby noises that James took as conversation starters.
It was funny to watch the two have what looked like a full blown conversation and you were sure James had been reading some parenting magazine or another that spoke of helping babies develop linguistic abilities.
“Hey James,” you crossed your arms over your chest, leaning against the wall.
“Yeah?”
“Do you want a key?”
“A key to what?” he looked at you confused.
“The house,” you said. “I just thought since you’re here all the time you can come and go whenever you want and if you forget something and I’m out you can come get it yourself.”
“A key,” he thought about it. “This feels like a big milestone moment.”
“I mean I already have the key to your place, but that was because you refused to have anyone look after you after you got your wisdom teeth removed.”
“Wait, you have my key?”
“Yeah, I just took yours and had it copied,” you shrugged.
“I feel like I should be a bit more concerned about this, but I’m not.”
“It’s because you’re friends with House, you’re used to it,” you waved him off.
“Liana, did you know your mom’s a thief?” he looked down at the baby in his arms and you rolled your eyes.
“Do you want the key or not?”
“I’ll take it, and I guess you can keep mine, but I’m never there anyways.”
“It’s okay, I’ll just use it if I need to steal your social insurance card to commit identity theft.”
“Liana banana, your mom’s being very silly tonight,” James picked her up and held her out in front of him before bringing her down to press a few kisses to her face, making her giggle. “It’s okay, we still love mommy even though she’s silly, right?”
“You better,” you flicked his shoulder as you walked by after grabbing an ice cream sandwich from the freezer.
“Hey, I’ve got something in my bag I forgot to give you, do you mind bringing it over here?” James asked, motioning to the briefcase on the armchair closest to the front door.
You nodded your head and stood up again to grab it and pass it to him. He rummaged through it with one hand while still holding Liana before passing you what looked like a receipt.
“Uh thanks?” you looked a little confused.
“Read what it’s for,” James chuckled. “They’ll get delivered next week.”
“James,” you put the receipt down. “You didn’t.”
“You’ve been talking about it for four months, I had to do something,” he shrugged. “And I didn’t get you anything for your baby shower.”
“Because you planned it,” you laughed. “Seriously this is a lot. I don’t know if I can accept this.”
“Just think of it this way. I’m here all the time, we like to go out with Liana together and it’s a great stroller with good safety ratings.”
“Okay sure you’ll use that, but the cot too?”
“The one you have in there’s been recalled, I was just doing you a favour,” he said.
You chuckled a little, pressing your lips together. “Liana, my darling, we are very spoiled.”
“I’ll come over when it gets delivered and help set it up,” James said.
“I still don’t know what to say, James, this is…really generous of you.”
“Believe me, right now nothing makes me happier, and I mean that,” he reached out a hand to you and you took it, giving it a gentle squeeze.
As promised, the next week James was back at your home to help set up the stroller and the cot and you figured it would be the right time to pull out that camcorder your father had gotten you to help record some memories you were making with Liana.
“Hey, James wanna tell the camera what you’re doing?”
“Wondering why I didn’t get a degree in engineering apparently.” he mumbled while hunched over some instructions, a pencil behind his ear and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
“What does your assistant think?” you moved the camera over to Liana, sitting in a rocking seat that was propped up next to James.
“That this video isn’t going to be very good for my image in the future. This stuff is worse than IKEA,” he scratched the back of his head.
“You’re doing great,” you assured him and came to give him an encouraging side hug. “Alright, let me stop this video and we can try and tackle it together.”
You put the camera down on the bed and looked over the instructions with James, having a bit of an easier time piecing things together compared to him, so in the end you were put on deciphering the instructions while he assembled the cot.
An embarrassing amount of time later, the cot was completely assembled (only after having to disassemble it all the first time because there was one piece left over and you had no idea what step you had missed using it), and you carefully placed Liana inside to see how it would hold up.
“You know they say you can be proud of something you built with your own two hands, but I’m afraid this is going to fall apart,” James said.
“We followed the instructions really carefully, it should be fine,” you said, trying to convince yourself. “And Liana looks comfortable in there, look at her she’s giggling.”
“I think that’s because we look like we’ve been building a house or something,” he looked between you, seeing your dirty clothes and messed up hair.
“Who knew putting together a cot would be so labour intensive,” you chuckled. “I think we can safely say we deserve some takeout. What do you want?”
“Anything, I’m starving,” James sat down on the edge of the bed. “You think this will help her sleep a little better?”
“Let’s hope so,” you rubbed your temples. “You coming?” you asked, taking Liana out of the cot and carrying her out towards the door.
“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute,” he nodded and you left him in the room, staring at the wooden baby’s bed in front of him. It was a simple thing you had both made together, but for James, it was starting to feel like so much more than just that.
You built a cot, but what did building a cot mean? What did it mean that he bought it for you without a second question or a moment’s hesitation? What did it mean that he couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off his face every single time he stepped into this house?
It probably meant a lot of things, but at the moment, to James, it felt like he had a family and he’d hold onto that for as long as he was able to.
—
As much as you wished it could be, not every day was easy. Today was one of those days at the end of a long week and you wanted nothing more than to collapse and call it quits.
Something was wrong with Liana, she was never this fussy, but all the doctors would just repeat the same thing over and over again.
She has colic.
You have a colic-y baby.
Your baby has colic. She’s going to be fine.
She didn’t sound fine. Not when she would cry and cry and you didn’t know what was happening or how to make her feel better. It made your heart feel tight and constricted especially when all you could do was bounce and rock her in hopes that it might soothe whatever was going on inside her.
You were so focused on the sounds of the crying baby you didn’t hear the door unlock as James entered the house. After putting down his bags, he followed the sound of the crying before finding you in the rocking chair in your room, gently hushing Liana to try and coax her back to sleep.
“James,” you tried to stand up when you noticed he was there, but he rushed over to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder and encouraging you to sit back down. “I’m afraid we’re not really having a fun day today. You might want to just go home and rest,” you suggested.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“James, I’m serious I-,”
“Hey,” he said gently, quieting you as a hand came to hold your cheek. “Talk to me, mom. What’s happening?”
You pressed your lips together and shook your head.
“I don’t know,” you let the tears spill from your eyes, just as they were for Liana, but you basked in the comfort James’ simple action offered. “She just keeps crying and I don’t know what’s wrong. T-They kept saying she has colic, but this isn’t colic, James.”
He nodded his head and wiped away your tears while trying to think of a solution to the problem in front of you.
“I have an idea, just give me a second, I’ll be right back.”
James went off to the kitchen and came back with a bit of a white powder on his finger. He helped you sit Liana up before getting her to eat a little bit of it.
“What is that?”
“Just baking soda. I saw this in a few babies. Doctors think it’s colic, but it’s reflux. Have you been eating anything different from usual?” he asked.
“Me?”
“Yeah, it might be something she’s allergic to getting in the breast milk,” he explained while rubbing Liana’s back. “Here let me take her so you can have a break. Go to the kitchen, get some water and write down a list of what you’ve been eating recently and we’ll go over it and see if we can find anything that lines up with her fussiness.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ll survive,” he nodded.
You passed over your baby to him and made your way out of the room, following James’ suggestion and noticing how with a little bit of time her crying had quieted down and instead was replaced by softer sniffles and a much nicer sound. It drew you away from the list you were leaning over and back to the door of the bedroom where you leaned in the frame and watched and listened while James, with his back turned to you, sang a soft lullaby to Liana.
I love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.
Over and over like a prayer until Liana’s sniffles had faded and there was only silence.
He carefully put her back in her bed, waiting a few moments to make sure she was really sleeping, before turning back and seeing you standing in the doorway.
When he made his way up to you, you reached out and pulled him into as tight of a hug as you’d ever given him. You held onto the sleeves of your shirt while one arm came under his and across his back with the other around his neck, holding him as close to you as you possibly could.
“You okay?” James asked and you nodded your head, silently while a few more tears streamed down your face.
“I will be.”
“I-,” James faltered for a moment, but he said it anyway. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Three words he had said so many times, that had meant a particular thing when he said them to you, but now he couldn’t help but feel like they meant something a little different.
You both stayed like that a moment longer before you pulled apart, wiping away your tears and going back to your list to see if James’ theory could be correct.
“Maybe try cutting these ones out of your diet,” he suggested. “See if she gets any better and if not call me and I’ll get her an appointment with one of the pediatricians at the hospital.”
“Okay,” you nodded. “I just don’t get why they kept saying colic like is that just some doctor term for I don’t know what’s wrong, but your baby is fussy?”
“I don’t know,” James shook his head, “but don’t ever let anyone bully you into not trusting your gut. She’s your daughter and you know her best.”
“You seem to know her pretty well too. You took one look at her and managed to help her when I couldn’t,” you pinched the bridge of your nose.
“Coincidence,” he patted your shoulder.
“Give yourself a little credit. You’re with her a lot too, it’s part of why I trust your judgement so much when it comes to her. I know you’re not just going to tell me some medical mumbo jumbo you…you’re with her, you see how she is, you know.”
“I don’t know how you managed to hold it together so well,” James said. “I was in there with her for twenty minutes and I wanted to cry right with her.”
“It’s so hard,” you shook your head. “You can tell she’s uncomfortable, that something’s wrong, but she can’t tell you what.”
James nodded his head, “Before you know it she’ll be walking and talking and hopefully it’ll be a lot easier to understand what she needs.”
“It’s hard to imagine that,” you chuckled. “She is growing so fast though.”
“And you’re doing a great job,” James wrapped an arm around your shoulder and you took a deep breath. You wanted to correct him and say ‘we’re doing a great job’, but everything about this felt so delicate. It wasn’t his responsibility to parent Liana and you didn’t want to pressure him into thinking that it had become that, but regardless you felt like he’d been around so much it would be wrong to give yourself full credit for everything.
“It takes a village,” you settled on saying, extending your arm so it was wrapped around him as well. “Speaking of a village, I need to hire a nanny.”
“So you’re going to go back to work?” he asked and you nodded.
“Just part time for now. Pay is good enough. I should be fine with that for a while.”
“Good,” James nodded. “Do you need help going through resumes?”
“Nah, Janine is taking care of that for me, her boyfriend works with the police so free background checks. She’s gonna send me a short list and then I’ll interview them.”
You looked up at James and chuckled,
“You seem surprised.”
“I didn’t know you outsourced to other people too,” he teased.
“Are you jealous, Jamie?” you tickled his sides a little bit. “Come on, you know you’re my number one. Can you seriously tell me you could have gotten police-level background checks on nannies?”
“I could have tried.”
“I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m gonna save you from this job so you can help me with other stuff, okay?” you turned him around and patted his chest. “I love you, James, but you can’t do it all. I have to look out for you too.”
“You don’t have to look after me,” he assured you. “You’ve got a lot on your plate, I can take care of myself.”
“James, that’s the whole point of this,” you pointed between you. “I’m not about to let it be one-sided.”
“Is that why you keep packing me lunches?” he asked.
“Maybe,” you shrugged. “And it's kind of fun leaving you little notes.”
“House thinks I’m seeing someone because of what you put in the last one. He steals my food, you know.”
“I’ll just pack double next time,” you laughed.
James smiled at the sound of your laughter, savouring the moment of levity he was able to bring you after a long and hard few days.
You looked back up at him once your laughter had died down and filled with a quiet sense of gratitude, you could help but lean into his side, sighing contentedly and it made you feel warm to the touch when his arm wrapped around you and pulled you in closer.
Things may not have been simple or easy, but at least they felt right.
—
James was just about to leave his office to get some food in the cafeteria when he heard the phone ring, keeping him seated at his desk so he could answer.
“Hello, Oncology Department. Dr. James Wilson speaking.”
“James, it’s me,” you said quickly, almost like you were in a hurry.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing dire,” you sighed. “My nanny got sick and my backup nanny is out of town and I have this huge meeting at work I cannot miss, but I-I don’t have anyone to look after Liana. I hate to ask this, you know I wouldn’t bug you unless it was a real emergency, but can I bring her by? Just for two maybe three hours tops. Then I’ll come grab her and she can be in my office with me for the rest of the day.”
“Yeah, of course, bring her over,” James nodded. “I have a few patient consults today, but nothing too strenuous or contagious for a small baby.”
“James, are you sure? I feel really bad asking-,”
“It’s fine. Today was going to be boring anyway, I could use some Liana time to spice things up.”
“James, I love you, you’re a lifesaver,” you breathed a sigh of relief. “I owe you one okay? Cash it in whenever.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he chuckled. “I’m gonna go grab a quick bite to eat. I’ll meet you in my office when you come.”
“Great, see you then.”
You both hung up and when James came back upstairs you were just arriving at his office with Liana strapped in her car seat and a bag slung around your shoulder.
“Okay, I’ve got snacks, and a carrier, and her toys, and-,”
“Goodness, take a breath,” James chuckled. “We’re gonna be fine, I’ve looked after her before.”
“I know, I know. I’m just nervous about this meeting and rushing around to get everything prepped and then the nannies fell through,” you took a deep breath to try and slow your heart down and James put a hand on your shoulder assuring you everything was going to be alright.
“You’re gonna kill it at that meeting, alright?” he pulled you in for a quick hug.
“Thanks again, I seriously appreciate and love you and your big fat heart.”
“Thanks, I think,” he chuckled again. “I love you too.”
You kissed your hand and tapped it on his cheek before doing the same for Liana who smiled and James took a moment to stare out the door and watch you as you left the room, still feeling his heart beating a little faster after having said I love you.
Ever since the day he came over when Liana was having a hard time, his heart would race and his palms would get sweaty every time he’d say those three words, knowing he meant it in a different way than he had been saying it all these years.
“Liana banana, what am I gonna do,” James sighed and bent down so he was at eye level with her. “Do you think your mom knows?”
Liana babbled a response.
“Me neither,” he sighed. “It’s okay though, cause we’re gonna have a fun day right?”
He unclipped her from the seat after fastening the baby carrier to his back to begin with before propping her up and clipping her inside.
Once he was content with that, he checked the time and noticed he was almost late for a meeting with a patient who was staying at the hospital for treatment.
James made his way down the halls, knowing not many would question him about the baby on his back, that was aside from his boss who now seemed to be walking directly towards him.
He quickly took a detour into an empty room and thinking he lost her, let out a breath only to be startled when the door opened and Cuddy was standing in front of him.
“Wilson,” she started.
“Mhmm.”
“What’s on your back?” she asked, trying to get a better look, but James simply turned around.
“Oh it’s just a backpack,” he lied, only to be immediately ratted out by Liana’s nonsensical sounds.
“You have a talking backpack?” Cuddy looked at him skeptically.
“No, it’s a tumour. I’m dying,” he lied again, even more poorly than before.
Cuddy sighed, “Are we gonna get sued for it?”
James pressed his lips together and shook his head.
“Will someone get mad at you for it?”
He shook his head again.
“Is House involved?”
A third time.
“Okay,” she nodded slowly. “I won’t question your…talking backpack tumour.”
James nodded his head and Cuddy left the room which hopefully meant he was in the clear for the rest of the day.
Liana had other ideas and decided she didn’t like being in the carrier on his back anymore and began to cry. James wondered what was different, he’d done this with her before, but perhaps it was the new environment and she just wanted to be where she could see him.
So after some maneuvering, he changed the positioning of the carrier and put Liana back inside and she seemed much more relaxed afterwards.
When he got to his patient he apologized for being late, but they were more focused on the child that James had yet to introduce.
“Sorry, I’m a little all over the place right now,” he chuckled. “This is Liana, she’s going to be joining us today.”
“Is she your daughter?” he asked, seeing the way James smiled and held her when he introduced her.
“No,” James shook his head. “She’s the daughter of one of my close friends. I’m just doing her a favour today.”
“Either way, it’s always nice to see someone smiling and happy around here.”
“Yeah, I thought so too,” James nodded.
“How old is she?”
“Six months as of two weeks ago.”
“They grow fast, don’t they?”
James smiled and nodded, “They sure do.”
They continued their consult, and before long James wrapped things up and headed back to his office to meet with another patient.
This time around he was feeding and burping Liana throughout the meeting and it felt so much like second nature to him, it didn’t take him away at all from the questions the patient was asking, and much like he expected, having a baby in the room was a nice distraction from the heavy subject matter.
He got through the next few patients with ease, and he felt lucky that House only decided to come in after all his meetings were over.
“Is that a baby?” House squinted, looking at Liana who was calmly playing with a toy in James’ lap.
“No, it’s an alien,” he deadpanned and House ignored his comment.
“Why do you have a baby? That must be breaking some hospital rule.”
“Since when do you care about rules?”
“Cause rules are there to protect us,” House said sarcastically. “Is this the one you spend all your free time with?”
“Her name is Liana,” James said while standing up and moving to put her in her car seat for a moment. “House, I’m gonna ask you to do something and I’m going to trust that you won’t blow this up in my face.”
“Go on.”
“I need to use the washroom, but you’ve seen the way they get cleaned here, I don’t want to bring Li with me,” he said. “Can you watch her for five minutes? You don’t even have to do anything, just stare at her in the carrier.”
House thought about it for a moment before eventually agreeing, James completely oblivious to his friend’s ulterior motive.
House first sat across from her, turning her car seat around on the table so it was facing him. They stared at each other for a few moments before House stood up and grabbed a picture from one of James’ shelves, sitting back down in front of her.
“You’re probably too young to do this, but never too young to learn, right?”
Liana had no response.
“You see this guy?” House pointed to James in the photo. “He’s dada, right?”
House continued to prompt her, even though he knew she was too young to speak, thinking this would make a great prank if he played his cards right.
House continued to go back and forth with Liana between her babbles, until he heard James begin to open the door of the office.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Perfect,” House nodded. “Your daughter’s an angel.”
James frowned, unable to tell if House was being sarcastic or not, but he was quickly distracted by the frame in his hand.
“Why do you have that picture?” James came closer and took it from him.
“Oh, just trying to pass the time with a story.”
“The story of what exactly? This is just a picture of me with my parents.”
“I don’t know I made something up, she’s a baby, she won’t remember,” House insisted before leaving the office before James could ask any more questions.
A little confused by the encounter, he made his way over to Liana who was reaching out for him.
He checked the time, seeing as your meeting should probably have been over by then and decided to give you a call.
“Hey, I was just about to come and pick Liana up,” you said.
“Yeah, about that, do you just want to leave her with me for the rest of the day?” he asked. “She’s been really good and honestly I think the patients have been loving seeing a baby around.”
“James, it’s fine, my meeting is over. I can come get her,” you said.
James pressed his lips together before gathering the nerve to say what he was going to say.
“I actually would really like it if she could stay with me,” he said. “If you’re okay with it.”
You paused, “This isn’t just some round about way for you to find a way to give me a break?” you asked.
“No, I’m really happy she’s here. I was going to come over after work anyways.”
“You still have the car seat hookup in your car?” you asked and he confirmed. “Okay, call me if you need anything, Jamie.”
“I will, and thank you.”
“Just don’t break her, okay, she’s not replaceable,” you teased.
“I’ll bring her back in one piece,” James chuckled. “We’ll be fine, right Li?”
James gave her a little tickle so that you could hear her laugh in response and you couldn't help but smile before saying goodbye and feeling more at ease leaving her with James than you ever had leaving her with a babysitter.
—
It always felt interesting coming back to Princeton-Plainsboro after you had given birth to Liana. It brought back a lot of memories, both good and maybe not so great of your pregnancy, but recently you and Liana had been visiting a little more often to have lunch with James when you weren’t working.
Today wasn’t one of those days, you were actually just on your way back home after running a few errands and since you were in the area you thought you might stop in and talk to James about that evening.
When you went by his office you peeked inside and noticed he wasn’t there and before you could decide the best course of action, you heard a semi familiar voice behind you.
“You looking for Wilson?”
You turned around and saw House standing in front of you.
“Yeah, actually. Do you know where he is?”
“I think he just went to Cuddy’s office,” he said.
“Alright, I’ll head back downstairs then,” you smiled and were about to haul Liana’s car seat with you, but House stopped you.
“If you want I can look after her in my office,” he said.
“Really?” you seemed a little surprised from the offer, but figured it couldn’t be too bad to leave her with him for five minutes.
“Sure,” House nodded, making it seem like it was no big deal, when really he had already pocketed a picture of James and was looking for another opportunity to continue his prank.
“Alright, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” you said while walking over to his office and putting her car seat on the main table before walking down the hallways and over to the elevator to go and find James, but just to your luck, he was coming out just as you had planned to enter. “Hey, I was looking for you,” you smiled.
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were coming, did we make plans?” he asked, worried he’d forgotten about something.
“No, I was just in the area and, well my mom and dad are coming over for dinner tonight, I was wondering if you wanted to join us.”
“Dinner sounds nice,” James nodded. “And I haven’t seen your parents in a while, I just seem to miss them every time they come into town.”
“Yeah, that’s why I thought I’d ask, also maybe as a warning in case you wanted to get as far away as you could,” you chuckled.
“Come on, they’re not that bad,” he nudged you.
“Most of the time, but then again, you’re not their child.”
“Wait, where’s Liana?” James asked. “With a sitter at home?”
“No, I left her with House.”
James’ eyes went wide, “You left her with House?”
“Yeah, what’s the big deal?” you chuckled as James began to walk towards House’s office to make sure he wasn’t up to one of his many schemes. “James he offered!” you called back and that only made him walk faster.
It took you a minute to catch up with him, but by that time he was already interrogating House who was simply sitting in front of Liana.
“Can't I offer to look after my friend’s friend’s baby?” House asked.
“Usually someone could, but when that person is you you may see why I think you have some ulterior motive.”
“James what’s going on?” you asked, coming closer to House. “Liana’s fine, I don’t know why you’re being so dramatic.”
“Yeah, listen to single mom over here,” he pointed to you.
James backed off if only for your sake, but he still kept a close eye on House as you picked up Liana’s car seat and told James you’d see him after his shift was over.
He nodded his head and you exchanged a kiss on the cheek before heading out.
“You’re really telling me you’re not getting some of that on the side?” House asked.
“House, drop it,” James was unamused. “I know you’re up to something, I just don’t know what.”
“I guess you’re just going to have to wait and find out,” House shrugged. “In the meantime may I suggest you go get your freak on with the mom? You know she probably hasn’t slept with anyone since that kid was conceived, I’m sure you’d have an easy time convincing her.”
“Shut up, House,” James rolled his eyes and left the office before he could suggest anything more obscene.
He was thankful when the end of his shift came, and before heading to your place he made a stop at the store to buy some flowers and dessert to bring over.
By this point, it was such a habit, he never knocked, just opened the door with his key and announced his presence to whoever was in the house.
“Hey Liana, look who’s here,” you smiled and pointed to James while Liana was being held by your mother.
Liana became very excited at the sight of him and he quickly put down the things he brought on the table before saying his greetings and giving special attention to Liana by means of a kiss on her nose and caress of her face.
“Do you want something to drink?” you asked. “Mom and dad brought some fancy-looking sparkling fruit juice.”
“I could go for some of that,” James nodded. “How have you guys been, I missed you the last time you were in town.”
“We’ve been good,” your dad nodded.
“Unfortunately our granddaughter doesn’t come to visit us very much,” your mom gave you a bit of a look and you rolled your eyes.
“Mom, you guys are retired, I have a job, why don’t we keep this ‘you visit me’ arrangement a while longer until my life sorts itself out a bit more.”
“She’s not wrong, honey,” your dad came and patted his wife’s shoulder.
“I know, I just wish we got to see Liana more. We should come down more often.”
“What about you, James, anything new in your life?”
James looked over at you before shaking his head.
“No, still working at the same place still…”
“Trying to find the right person,” you filled in for him, placing a hand on his shoulder and handing him his drink.
“Yeah,” he nodded with a soft smile and couldn’t help but laugh a little internally at the irony. Maybe the right person had been there all along, the person he’d never once pulled away from, the person he let take care of him, the person who he’d realized he’d most definitely fallen in love with, but risking things between you was out of the question so he would have to be content with the way things were.
“You’re the head of your department, right?” your mom asked and James nodded. “Wow, that’s quite something, your parents must be proud of you.”
“Yes, it never fails to come up in conversation with my mother,” he chuckled.
Liana began to fuss a little bit in her grandmother’s arms and after a few failed attempts at calming her down James offered to take over.
“Are you sure, honey?” she asked. “She gets a bit cranky and it’s hard to calm her down.”
“Don’t worry mom, James is an expert,” you assured her.
James nodded and confirmed he was sure before gently bouncing Liana until she stopped crying and wiping away whatever tears of hers were remaining.
“She seems very attached to you,” your dad remarked and James looked down at Liana who now had her head resting against his chest.
“The feeling’s quite mutual,” James chuckled. “Does she need to be fed?” he asked you.
“Yeah we’re probably getting close to that time now, I’ll warm up the bottle. Maybe I can feed her and you can deal with the sauce on the stove, it’s missing something and I can’t place it.”
“Sure,” James nodded and waited for you to heat up Liana’s bottle before passing her over and taking a turn at the stove.
Your parents watched your interactions curiously and shared a few looks between themselves, but chose to say nothing. They’d known James since you were both nineteen and a lot of things had happened since then, but a lot of time had passed too. It was interesting how your comfort with each other in friendship had so naturally extended itself in this way that you were practically functioning as a family whether you noticed it, or maybe deliberately chose to ignore it.
After you fed Liana and burped her, she was quick to fall asleep and you placed her in her cot in your room before joining James and your parents in the kitchen where they were bringing things to the dining room to lay them out on the table.
“This looks really delicious sweetheart, thank you for making dinner,” your dad said. “And you too James for taking over there in the home stretch.”
“For all we know it could have tasted terrible before he came in so he can take the credit for that,” you chuckled.
“No, I gave it a taste before adding anything. It just needed a little something sour to balance some things out, otherwise it was perfect,” he assured you.
Dinner with your parents was mostly small talk. They shared a little about some of your relatives they had recently spoken to or visited and asked James how his family was doing and they left fairly early to start the drive back home.
“I’ll load the dishes you put away the leftovers?” James yawned and you chuckled.
“How about I do both since I had a day off and you go and lay down for a bit,” you suggested.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about I’m fine,” James waved his hand but yawned again.
“Go to sleep, James. That’s not a suggestion,” you walked up to him. “My ex left some sweatpants here you can change into those and take off this button up,” you tugged at his shirt.
James pressed his lips together and nodded his head, before heading over to the bedroom and quietly getting changed before climbing into bed and not fighting the sleep that came.
He initially wasn’t sure how much later it was when he woke up, but by the looks of it much too late to go come considering you were next to him, despite being groggy, he had a million and one things crossing his mind, but all of those were thrown out when he heard Liana begin to cry.
You shifted next to him, waking up to go and take care of it, but James put an arm on your shoulder.
“I’ve got it, go back to sleep,” he assured you.
You were too tired to argue with him and let your head hit the pillow again while he stood up and picked Liana up from her crib, heading out to the kitchen so he could heat up a bottle for her before coming back and sitting in the chair to feed her.
You watched the scene in front of you and you felt yourself wanting to memorize every detail. How he held her, the quiet things he whispered, the way she curled into his arms while he stood up and rocked her back to sleep.
When he came back to the bed he noticed you were awake and he let out a soft chuckle and you smiled looking up at him with his messy hair. Suddenly you were nineteen again and banging on the door of cabin 3 trying to wake your fellow counsellor to come and deal with an emergency. To you he looked the same as he did all those years ago.
“I told you to go back to sleep.”
“Not everyone can fall asleep instantly,” you yawned with a chuckle.
“You didn’t wake me up to leave,” he said quietly, his head resting on his hand that propped him up.
“You always look so peaceful when you sleep, I feel evil whenever I have to wake you up,” you remarked, but behind your eyes if he could see through the darkness of the room, he would have seen them saying something else. That you wanted him to stay, you didn’t want to wake him up because you wanted to wake up next to him. “You don’t mind do you?”
“That you’re making me do the walk of shame in the morning?” James teased and shook his head.
“Just shut up and go back to sleep, Jamie,” you yawned with a chuckle.
He moved so he was laying down on his back with an arm behind his head and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. Maybe he could feel you staring because he reached his other arm out and pulled you closer and you moved with him until your head rested against his chest, your arm draped over top of him.
He gave you a gentle squeeze with the arm that was wrapped around you and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
“Goodnight, Jamie,” you mumbled into his shirt.
You couldn’t see how he looked down and smiled at you after you said that, all that filled your ears was a quiet, “Goodnight.”
—
“I haven’t seen you in a few days, how have you been?”
James sat on the carpet of the living room, playing with Liana who was crawling around him while you brought over two mugs of tea so you could chat while you entertained the growing baby.
“Good for the most part, just had a patient who wasn’t doing so great so I spent some extra time at the hospital to keep an eye on things. Not to mention House has been bugging me to go out and it’s been a while so I figured what’s the harm.”
“He got you plastered and you made a fool of yourself, didn’t he?” you asked and James nodded while you laughed. “Liana, did James go out with House and act like an idiot?” you tickled the ten month old and she giggled before coming closer to you, tapping on your legs with her hands.
“Don’t listen to your mama, Li, she’s trying to-,”
“Mama,” Liana repeated after James had spoken and you both stopped dead in your tracks.
You looked over at James and his smile was just as wide as yours before you picked Liana up and smothered her with kisses.
“Liana, look at you! You said your first word!”
“Good job, Liana banana,” James grinned and gave her cheek a little pinch which made her reach out to him and say,
“Dada.”
You both had a similar reaction to what happened moments ago, only this time it was pure shock. Maybe you had misheard her, but when she repeated herself, James could feel his heart drop to the pit of his stomach.
“I-I don’t know where she learnt that from,” he told you. “I swear I didn’t teach her that.”
It took a minute for the shock to fade away for you, but once it did you tried to assure James that it was okay.
“I believe you,” you said. “I-I don’t know where she picked it up from, but it’s okay.”
James chewed on his lip, it wasn’t okay though because he wanted nothing more than to hear Liana say that again.
“It’s not though,” James said softly. “I love her, but I’m not her dad. That’s not fair to her or to you.”
“Jamie,” you pleaded with him, but he still seemed stuck on something.
“I’m really sorry,” he apologized again. “I feel like I ruined a special moment.”
“I’m trying to tell you it really doesn’t matter,” you assured him, you could see it in his eyes, he wanted to leave, to let you have time alone, but you didn’t want to be alone, you wanted him to stay with you. “Please…please stay.”
James reached out his hand to hold yours and was about to give you his answer when his pager went off.
Your heart clenched and you watched as he read the message and sighed, standing up because he was needed again at the hospital.
“Your patient?” you asked, picking Liana up and standing next to him.
He nodded his head, “They were scheduled for an unrelated surgery and there were some complications, I have to go.”
You understood and James wrapped you in a tight hug and you kissed his cheek.
“I love you, Jamie.”
“I love you too,” he whispered, wishing he could hold onto you and never let you go, but instead he was pulled away from your warm embrace wondering how on earth Liana had learnt to call him dad.
—
“You look like you haven’t slept in days, spending time with the baby again?” House asked, waltzing into James’ office.
“No, I haven't been over in a few days,” James shook his head.
“You haven’t been over in a few days…Something happened,” House deduced and James gave him a look.
“Nothing happened. I’m just taking a break,” he lied.
“You’ve been going non-stop to spend time with them since the baby was born ten months ago, why do you need a break now?”
“Because I have a lot on my mind and there’s a few new patients I need to focus on-,”
“You’re lying.”
“Yes I am,” James admitted and House grinned.
“Really?”
“No, I’m not,” he shook his head and continued to look down and do his work.
“We do this every single time and every single time I’m right,” House said. “Why don’t we save the back and forth for another time and just skip to the part where you tell me what’s going on.”
“Oh really and you were right that time you thought I was cheating on my wife and she was the one cheating on me?” he asked.
“Okay, so I’m not perfect,” House shrugged. “What happened, Wilson? I could just as easily get your friend’s number and ask directly if that’s what you’d prefer.”
“God no,” James shook his head. “Leave her alone, she doesn’t need to deal with you on top of working and raising a child.”
“Alright then, what happened?”
James took a deep breath and sighed, “Liana called me dad the other day. I have no idea where she learnt it from.”
“She started speaking,” House nodded, pressing his lips together. “Was it her first word or-,”
“Second. She said mom first,” James said, but caught a glimpse of his friend trying to fight back a smile and suddenly all the offers to take care of Liana paired with the photographs made sense. “You taught her!” he exclaimed. “House I can’t believe you’d pull a prank on me by manipulating my friend’s baby!”
“Oh come on, it’s not that big of a deal,” House rolled his eyes.
“House, I cannot believe you!”
“You’re not mad at me,” House shook his head. “You’re just mad you liked it.”
“No I’m-,”
“Yes, you are,” the diagnostician emphasized. “You’ve been sitting here tearing yourself apart for the past four days because she called you dad and you liked it. You’re mad at yourself for liking it because she’s not your kid.”
“No,” James quieted down. “She’s not.”
“You haven’t gone back because you’re afraid to hear her say it again, aren’t you?”
“Since when did you become an expert on my personal problems, House? You caused this, why should I listen to anything you have to say?”
“Because you’re being an idiot. You’re punishing yourself for liking something. Do you realize how insane that sounds?”
“It’s not insane, House, she’s not my baby-,”
“Sure, she’s not your baby and you have her feeding and nap routine memorized. You’ve been to her doctor's appointments, she’s calmer in your arms than she is in the arms of her grandparents. Yeah, go and tell that to any moron sitting out there and they’ll tell you for me, you’re being an idiot.”
James sighed again, “And why do you care?”
“Because once you’re done with this spiral we can go back to the way things were when you weren’t a boring depressed lump.”
“How kind of you,” James faked a smile.
House’s pager went off, leaving James alone again in his office, thinking about what his friend had said.
You’d told him so many times that things were okay, but maybe a part of him didn’t want to let him believe that you didn’t mind because that was a slippery slope to him facing himself and his feelings and he didn’t care what his heart was telling him, he wouldn’t put himself through that. He wouldn’t put you and Liana through that. But at the same time, he couldn’t keep himself away forever. He didn’t want that either.
So with a deep breath he picked up his office phone and dialled your number, putting it up to his ear and waiting for the line to connect on the other end.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me.”
“James,” your voice sounded almost relieved. “H-Hey, how are you?”
He pressed his lips together, “Miserable, actually. I miss you guys.”
“We miss you too,” you chuckled with a small sniffle.
“C-Can I come over for dinner tonight?” he asked.
“You still have a key, what do you think?” you asked with a bit of a laugh. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Yeah, see you then,” James smiled and after he hung up the phone he took a deep breath, his fast heartbeat slowing down by the second.
Maybe this time House was right.
—
The next few weeks passed by and things resumed to their normal state, much to House’s delight. James’ role as department head always meant at least one day a week where he would stay late and do some extra paperwork, dealing with anything that may have slipped through the cracks before.
This time, that had fallen on a Sunday and it was just past dinner when he heard a knock on his door and wondering who was on the other end he called for them to come in.
You opened the door a crack and again asked permission to come in and James smiled at you, looking up from his paperwork, not expecting to see you in the hospital.
“Hey, I wasn’t expecting to see you here, what’s going on?”
“I just wanted to drop by and bring you something for dinner, I know it’s your paperwork day.”
“Thanks, that’s really sweet of you,” he stood up from his chair and came to stand in front of his desk, leaning back on it while you placed the take out bag on the table. “Where’s Liana?”
“Oh Helen’s looking after her tonight,” you said. “I had a few things I needed to do and um just wanted the evening off,” you admitted.
“Fair enough,” James nodded.
“I actually brought you something else,” you rolled back and forth on the balls of your feet and James noticed the tension in your stature. “H-Here,” you handed him a gift bag which he eyed curiously.
Today wasn’t his birthday or some memorable event you celebrated together. There wasn’t much of a reason to get him a present which made it all the more intriguing.
He pulled out a wrapped rectangular box from the bag, and putting the bag aside he began to carefully tear away the wrapping paper to reveal what looked like a picture frame. Overlaid on the frame, on top of the photo, James noticed a card which he unfolded to read its contents.
Happy Father’s Day. We love you loads. - Liana and Mom
James moved the card to see the picture and put his hand over his mouth, feeling tears involuntarily form in his eyes as he saw the familiar scene of your room, lit by the light of your lamp as Liana was fast asleep against his chest while he napped on the armchair.
James quickly wiped away the few tears that were in his eyes and looked up at you with a grateful smile, looking back down at the image before placing it neatly on his desk along with the card.
“I hope you like it,” you said quietly, biting your lip. “I thought you might want to have a copy of that picture and…you know just a thank you for everything you’ve done for me and Liana this past year.”
“I love it,” he assured you. “I-I love it and I love you.”
“I love you too,” you smiled.
“N-No,” James came closer and reached out, taking your hands in his. “I…I love you. I’m in love with you.”
“Jamie,” you spoke in a breathy whisper, unsure of how you lost your voice. “I-,” you opened your mouth to speak again, but paused when James raised a hand to your face, wiping away the tears you didn’t even notice had begun to stream down.
“I just don’t want to be away from you, ever,” he said softly. “I never did. And now with Liana, I want to be there, for all of it.”
You held the wrist of his hand that held your face, pulling him in closer so your foreheads rested against each other.
You took in a shaky breath, thinking back on those words. Something you’d been saying to each other for longer than you could remember. The first time was so clear in your mind, you were on the phone racking up long distance charges while James was in Montreal. It had slipped out by accident, a reflex, and you had convinced yourself when the phone had hung up you’d never call him back, unable to face what you’d just said, but before you could spiral any further, he said it back and you never stopped saying it.
For the longest time that was the only occurrence that was memorable, everything else was a blur, that was until a few months ago. It was so simple, you had fallen asleep on the couch and James had made sure Liana was fed and bathed and even cleared up some things in the kitchen before sitting on the couch with some tea and a book. You had talked and said I love you as a thank you, but when the words left your mouth they also left a lingering airiness in your heart, a feather light feeling that came crashing down like an anvil when he left to go home because you realized you never wanted to be apart from him.
It took you a few moments to realize you hadn’t said anything and James was anxiously waiting for some sort of communication, anything, but since the meaning of your words had changed, for both of you, you thought it might be more conducive to work in actions.
You closed in the space between you, at first gently resting your lips on his and letting him lead you in a soft and slow kiss, putting aside all the restraint you both had been using these past months in an effort to protect your friendship.
One of James’ hands held onto your waist, pulling you in so that there was no space left between you. He kissed you again and again, remembering each one as a core memory, engraved in his mind, paired with the feeling of your arms wrapped around his neck, the feeling of your body pressed so closely against his, his heart beating outside of his chest.
It was easy for his lips to trail away from yours, moving along your jaw, to your temple before you had pulled each other into a warm embrace, simply existing in each other’s arms. James thought to himself what a nice life it would be, not ever having to pull away.
—
“I don’t have much to say,” James smiled. “Everything is looking good, you still seem 100% healthy to me.”
“That’s great news.”
“It definitely is. Standard procedure, but we’ll have one more of these remission follow ups to make sure everything is still in order then you hopefully won’t have to see me again.”
“Thank you Dr. Wilson, I really appreciate all you’ve-.”
“Dad!”
“Sweetheart, wait he’s with a patient!”
James turned his head and saw Liana running over to him, you valiantly trying to chase after her without much success.
He quickly scooped her up in his arms before she crashed into him, pressing a big kiss to her cheek.
“Sorry about that,” James apologized. “It’s Saturday, we normally have lunch together.”
“No worries,” he chuckled.
“Liana, this is my patient Mr. Kimbilio, can you say hi?”
Liana waved and said hi, very exuberantly.
“This is my daughter,” James introduced. “And that’s my wife,” he pointed over to you.
“Daughter,” Mr. Kimbilio smiled. “I think I met you Liana, when you were very small. Your father was looking after you at work and so some of his patients got to meet you.”
“Really?” she looked up at her dad and he nodded.
“He’s right, I remember that,” James smiled. “You’ve grown a lot since then, haven’t you Li,” he kissed her cheek again and she giggled.
You finally caught up to the group and James greeted you with a quick kiss, passing Liana off to you so he could wrap things up and you could all go down to the cafeteria for lunch together.
“If I remember correctly,” Mr. Kimbilio started. “You didn’t introduce her as your daughter the first time we met. I’m glad something changed.”
“Me too,” James smiled, looking over at his wife and daughter fondly who were now in the midst of making him very proud by pulling off a small prank on House as he came out of his office.
It didn’t take much longer for them to wrap things up and you and Liana made a quick pit stop inside James’ office before heading downstairs.
Liana went to go sit in James’ seat while he put away his files and organized them.
It had been a while since you’d been in his office, but it felt like ever since the night you first kissed things had begun to change in the room.
His desk was now more littered with photos than knickknacks and Liana’s artwork was posted wherever there was room.
You came around to the other side, looking a little more closely at the pictures.
There was one of you, James, and Liana on your wedding day, another of just the two of you during an anniversary celebration, Liana’s kindergarten photo from school and another one of you as a family on your last vacation. And still as prominent as ever, the framed photo you had gifted James on his first father’s day.
“You ready to go?” he asked you, looking up and noticing your eyes gazing at the pictures on his desk.
When you didn’t initially respond, too focused on what you were looking at, James wrapped an arm around you and tilted your chin towards him so he could press a kiss to your lips.
“I love you,” you smiled and James kissed you again, saying.
“And I love you,” before moving over to pick up Liana and kiss her cheek. “And you.”
Liana giggled, feeling tickled by the kisses and moving to give both of you a kiss on the cheek before saying.
“Mom, Dad, I’m starving. Can we go eat now?”
“Sure, Liana banana,” James chuckled and you wrapped an arm around him, walking side by side out of the office and in the direction of the elevator to get to the cafeteria, thinking you were pretty lucky that in the end, your best friend listened to his heart and went after what he wanted.
TAGLIST —
@cuntyvicodin @paola-carter @kiddbegins @il0vebeingdelulu @illicit4ff4irs @lynnsthoughts @miarabanana @iwmflbb @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey @sarcasm-and-stiles @sun-flower-mad @x-uno @han11dh @qardasngan @alexxavicry
Day one
Tagged— @moss-on-tmblr @natailiatulls07 @lucyrose191 @omgsuperstarg @otako5811 @sarahedwards16 @badassturtle13 @reidsworld @astraeaworld @yours-sophia-1988 @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @charlesf1leclerc @harmonity-vibes @alwayzbeenale @softtdaisy
Your parents were going out on vacation without you which you were fine with because it gave you an excuse to stay with your older boyfriend who just coincidentally happened to be your father's best friend.
“OK, so what’s your idea?” I asked Jenson, leaning forward over the kitchen counter.
“Well, you see I was thinking that we should spend Christmas together this year,
Just you and I”
“I like that idea,” I say biting my bottom lip suggestively
He smiles seductively back
“Maybe I could give you a gift that you could remember me by”
“Uh huh, what kind of gift?” You asked teasingly
He begins to inch closer to you “Maybe a gift that I won’t have to leave your side, to remember our time together” Jenson says walking around the counter to stand behind you. You stood there as Jenson grabbed you by the waist pushing himself against you pressing his crotch against your ass.
“I think that sounds lovely,” you said, turning your head to look at Jenson from over your shoulder.
He smirks seductively back
He continues to inch closer and closer
He wraps his hand around you
Brushes the hair off of your face
And in a swift motion, he turns you towards him
And then slowly moves his face forward
And he kisses you on the lips.
He leans into the kiss
His body against yours
His face still pressed against you
One arm still wrapped around your waist
And he whispers into your ear
“Merry Christmas darling”
“Merry Christmas Jenson”
“I have the perfect gift for our special Christmas together darling” Jenson smiles seductively again
He then begins to unbutton his shirt
And removes it from his body to reveal his torso underneath
“Do you like what you see darling”
He grins seductively.
“Yes I do actually”
His smile fades as he pulls away
He looks into your eyes
And he caresses your face
He slowly traces his finger along your cheek,
Across your lips,
Down you to the chin, and your neck
His fingers travel down to your chest,
He traces your collarbone,
He takes his fingers under your shirt and runs his fingers along your skin,
Then his hand travels back up again,
You feel a gentle touch along your leg, He leans into you again and his mouth meets yours
He slowly wraps his other arm around you
He pulls you against him
He pulls you in close
One hand still runs along your cheek
And the other holds you under the chin
He softly moves his hand around to your back
And he caresses your back up to your shoulders
You close your eyes and take in his warmth
And you can feel his heart pounding
He leans his head forward
And he slowly moves his lips along your neck
He runs his lips over your neck down to your collarbone again and he begins to kiss it lightly
His hand still caresses your back
And he leans into you
He looks into your eyes
And you notice the passion in his eyes
He moves his hands down to your hips
And he gently pulls you closer
He moves his hands down your hips
And down your thighs
He moves one hand to the inside of your thigh
And he softly kisses your neck again
“Maybe we should go to the bedroom,” you said, tugging on the strands of hair at the base of Jenson's neck, arching into him.
He smiles seductively
“I think that’s a fantastic idea darling” he whispers
He pulls away from you and then gently takes your hand
And he walks you to the bedroom
He gently closes the door behind you
And he turns you so you’re facing him
He wraps his hands around your waist
And he pulls you close once again
He gently pushes you against the bed frame
And he leans into your ear
“I want you to know just how much I need you”
He whispers in your ear
“Just how much I want you”
“Just how much I desire you”
“Just how much you make me feel so wanted”
He looks into your eyes
His eyes filled with passion and lust
He slowly leans into you
And his mouth meets yours
His tongue gently explores your lips
He wraps his arms around your body, one hand holding the back of your head, and the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you close.
He kisses you passionately, his hands stroking your hair as he explores your mouth with his tongue
He pushes you to the bed
And he climbs on top of you
His hands still caressing your hair
His one hand still wrapped around your waist
He learns more of his weight on you by taking off your shirt And he whispers in your ear
“Just how much I crave you, just how much I want this” He begins to kiss your neck again
Slowly kissing his way down to your collarbone
He pulls down your shirt and begins to kiss and nibble at your chest. Jenson grabs one of your hands and binds them to the bedpost with a string of colorful Christmas lights repeating the same thing with your other hand.
“What the hell? Christmas lights, that's a new one” you said.
“Just trying to get into the holiday spirit” Jenson says, kissing down your chest.
“Trust me I’m definitely feeling the holiday spirit”
“Well then I hope you’ve been a good girl all year because after I’m done with you we’ll both be on the naughty list” Jenson says pulling down your pants and underwear looking back up at you.
“Bring it on old man” you say smiling.
Jensen's eyes darkened with lust “oh trust me princess I will” he says pulling your thighs apart.
You knew one thing and this had to be the Best Christmas ever….
Summary: Suspiciously, your dad’s best friend and business partner comes over a lot for dinner. You’re determined to get to the bottom of it, quite literally.
Request: DadsBestFriend!Toto fic plssss
Warnings: 18+, dad’s best friend-trope, smut, Soft!Dom!Toto, light choking, sexual teasing, cunnilingus (oral performed on female), degradation kink and praise kink, wrap it before you tap it, overstimulation, manhandling, daddy kink.
Words: 2.9k+ (pure smut)
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Mercedes really said 'you have to be hot if you want to work for us'.
toto wolff x fem!reader
summary: toto takes his game one step further.
warnings: dirty talk, smut (sex toys, humiliation kink, mean!toto, daddy kink, squirting), inappropriate use of a bow tie [18+ MINORS D.N.I.]
notes: my need to get dicked down by this old man will never tire. check out part one if you haven't yet! (ignore the fact that i wrote pt. 1 in past tense, i hadn't yet learned that i'm much more comfy with present 🤪)
words: 2,689
❣️ dirty thangs under the cut ❣️
"I’d feel sorry for you if fucking your brains out wasn’t going to be the highlight of my evening.”
Toto's crude words echo in your brain as he half leads, half drags your overstimulated body down the hallway to the elevator, making you nearly trip over yourself. Your legs shake as your nerves are set on fire from the continuous vibration inside of you.
"Toto," your voice barely rises above a whisper out as he punches the call button. "Please, can you turn it off just until we get to the room?"
He takes a beat to look at your quaking body - your eye makeup is starting to bleed from your sudden onset of tears that arose when he had you pinned against the wall, and a red flush is covering your chest, blooming out from underneath the sodden material of your dress. He loves you like this, wide-eyed and on the brink of breaking down for him, and he's never wanted to fuck you more. But instead, he says:
"Now, why would I want to do that," he smiles wickedly, "When I'm having so much fun?"
The bright ding of the elevator arriving nearly makes you jump out of your skin, and Toto roughly pushes you inside ahead of him. Before the doors even close, he has a hand wrapped around your neck and is backing you up into the mirror - the same one in which he had lovingly admired you only a while ago.
The bare skin of your upper back makes contact with the cold glass and Toto roughly slits a leg in between yours. The sensation of his muscular thigh tensing beneath the wool of his tuxedo pants draws a gasp from you. Only the thin scraps of fabric of your gown and drenched panties separate the two of you, and you desperately begin to seek friction with his leg, grinding your hips down.
At the feeling of your pelvis rolling against him, he lets out a small laugh.
"Look at you, so desperate to cum that you're actually humping my leg."
You let out a soft whine as you begin to relieve some of the tension that's been boiling inside of you, threatening to spill over at any second. The rolls of your hips begin to quicken and Toto is fast to clamp his free hand onto your hip, fingers digging into the plump skin painfully hard, hard enough to stop your movements.
"Don't you dare cum, schatzi," he warns, eyes fiery and fingers tensing around the column of your neck. "If you cum, I'm not going to touch you for a month. When I told you I couldn't wait to get you underneath me I wasn't fucking around."
Another ding signals the stop of your floor. With that, he withdraws his leg, leaving you somehow even more strung out than when you entered the elevator. He doesn't wait for you as he walks down the hallway, and you practically have to peel yourself off the mirror to follow after him.
As soon as the door to the hotel room closes behind you, he removes his tuxedo jacket, throwing it haphazardly across the king-sized bed. You clock the frantic motion - you know Toto wants this just as bad as you do, even when he plays up the cold and uncaring side of his demeanor. Toto catches your eyes and looks at you expectantly as he undoes the cufflinks of his dress shirt and begins rolling the sleeves up to his elbow.
Your skin heats up at the sight of those muscular arms and you're reminded of how much power Toto truly holds over you, both mentally and physically.
"Why aren't your clothes off, schatz?" he asks pointedly. "Don't just stand there staring at me."
Wordlessly, you slip the straps of your dress off your shoulders, the soft material falling to the floor where it pools around your high heels. Shame fills you when you push your wet thong down and feel the cool air of the room hit your wetness and your hard nipples. You crouch down to hide your nakedness and start to unbuckle the straps of your heels when Toto snaps his fingers at you.
"Leave them on," he says sternly. "And don't try to cover yourself up, either."
Your face grows hot at the authority in his voice and you tentatively begin to stand up, limply dropping your arms at your sides.
"Knees." Toto commands, beginning to undo the knot of his bowtie.
"What?" you squeak out, confused.
"I said," he repeats tersely, sliding the tie off his neck and pointing at the space on the floor just beyond the foot of the bed. "Knees. I think toys make you a bit dumb, darling. Or maybe you had too much to drink back there?"
Your cheeks flush at his crude words but you follow his instructions, knees sinking into the soft carpeting of the room. You're still fighting the instinct to cover up when he walks behind you and roughly pulls your arms behind your back, crossing them at the wrist just above the curve of your ass.
"What are you doing?" you gasp softly.
"Since you're obviously having a hard time following instructions tonight," he taunts, slipping the satin material of the tie around your crossed wrists. "I think you need a little reminder of who's in charge here."
He punctuates his words with a harsh yank of the tie, and you realize he's tied your wrists together. He steps back around in front of you and when you look up you feel the ache between your thighs grow stronger.
All 6' 5" of him practically towers over you, and he's just so painfully handsome, with his sharp bone structure and brown hair that's verging on the edge of wild from absentmindedly raking his hands through it during dinner. When you first met him, you were intimidated by his appearance and commanding personality, not to mention the largeness of, well...everything about him. You didn't know then how quickly and easily he could oscillate between soft and mean, or how much you'd love the feeling of him breaking you down bit by bit. He brings a hand down to cup your chin, caressing your tear-stained cheek with his thumb.
"I probably didn't even need to tie you up, all I had to do is say 'hold your arms behind your back and don't fucking move,'" he smirks, now stroking the pad of his thumb over your quivering bottom lip. "And you're such a good girl, you just listen. You'd never disobey Daddy, do you schatzi?"
His thumb slips into your mouth then, leaving you only able to shake your head side to side in response. You curl your tongue over the digit, sucking your own tears off of it gently and looking up at him through your wet lashes.
Toto looks at you with an almost adoring look on his face and reaches his free hand down to stroke the crown of your head, his fingers pushing loose strands of fine hair away from your face. The tender moment is short-lived, though, and he suddenly pulls his thumb out of your mouth with a pop and is quick to replace it with his middle and ring fingers, shoving them roughly against your tongue.
You whine at the metallic taste of his wedding band and the hand lovingly stroking your head moves to roughly grip the hair at the base of your scalp, forcing you to crane your head up towards him. He uses the new angle to push his fingers deeper into your mouth and you gag around the thickness of them.
"Open that pretty mouth up, liebling, I know you can do better. You take Daddy's cock all the time, no?"
It doesn't take long to turn you into a drooling, needy mess, shifting your thighs together as you let out frustrated, muffled whines. Somewhere in the cloud of need and spit and his fingers in your mouth, you barely notice that he's finally turned off the vibrator. The dormant toy, while still creating a fullness, is nothing compared to what you want - the familiar feeling of his dick stuffed inside of you.
He makes quick work of his suit pants, unzipping them only enough to release his cock from the confines of his underwear. It springs up, the tip hitting the bottom of his toned stomach, and you feel your mouth reflexively begin to water when you see pre-cum collecting on it.
Toto fists his length with one hand, leading it to your waiting mouth. Your wet tongue welcomes his heaviness, drooling around his warm cock as he slides lower in your throat.
You can only moan around the thick warmth pressing down on your tongue, gagging as he thrust his hips forward and bottomed out at the back of your throat. His grip on your hair tightens as his pace picks up, the lewd, wet sound of him fucking your mouth filling the large room.
"That's it, baby, fuck, taking my cock so well."
His hungry brown eyes don't break from yours as he bobs your head in time with his hips, saliva leaking from the corners of your mouth, gagging each time he forces the back of your throat open wider to make room for his thick cock. He finally allows himself to moan and the sounds go straight to the tightness between your legs.
"You fucking love this," Toto chuckles, fluttering his eyes shut in pleasure, head tipping back. "You little slut - you're desperate to cum in the lobby where anyone could see you, but as soon as you get a cock in your mouth, you can't think about anything else."
He pulls you off him then, strands of drool still connecting his throbbing length to your red, slick lips. His voice is low and rough when he orders you to stand up. You stay down, trying to catch your breath as your chest rises and falls rapidly, the spit from your face starting to drip onto your chest.
"It wasn't a request, schatz."
He doesn't waste time picking you up by your waist and throwing you onto the bed, making you land uncomfortably on your back with your arms pinned beneath you. He quickly sheds the rest of his clothes before he's on his knees on the floor in front of you, his height still making him loom over you despite the difference with the bed.
"D-daddy" you whimper, struggling against the binds. "Please..."
"Please, what?" he teases, prying your thighs apart to wrap his arms around them, yanking you down the bed even further so your ass is almost hanging off the edge.
"Please...touch me - I'll be good, I promise. "
"I'd make you beg for more, liebling, but right now you look good enough to eat."
Toto's hand snakes up to touch your soaking folds, running a fingertip up and down them, stopping to circle your weeping hole where the base of the pink silicone is sticking out. He gently pulls on it and you let out a soft cry at the feeling of its fullness leaving your weak, overstimulated body. You're finally exposed to him with nowhere to hide.
"God, look at you. Soaking Daddy's fingers like a little slut. I could practically smell your pussy at that table. I wonder if anyone else could, hmm? You think Lewis could smell how wet you get for me, baby?"
"No, Daddy!" you whimper, your bottom lip wobbling.
Suddenly, he swings his hand forward to slap the wet mess between your legs. “I want you to cum for me.” He repeats the action, again and again, getting harsher with each spank.
He alternates the rough slaps with dips of his fingers inside your tight core. The combination of the movements and the filthy wet sounds of his relentless attack on your cunt quickly push you over the edge, and spasms spread throughout your body. You feel senseless, the relief almost taking you out of your body.
"That's it, squirt for me," he growls, landing another sharp slap on your cunt. "You've already made such a fucking mess on my hands, cum and make some more."
Your vision goes white as your arousal floods out of you, wetting his thick fingers and spreading down to the veins of his muscular forearms. It's seeping into the sheets of the bed beneath you and you know you'll be the one to have to shamefully make the call down to housekeeping to get the bed changed.
You feel the bed dipping with his weight as the world comes flooding back to you. With the edge of your heightened state finally being taken off, your senses can take in more of him now - the smell of his expensive cologne, the softness of his skin, and the weight of his body on top of yours. You're still too weak to move, even when you feel him moving in between your legs, the heat of the head of his cock dragging up and down your soaking folds.
"Been thinking about fucking you all night, love," he murmurs, dipping his head down to fit into the crook of your neck.
You both groan in unison when he finally pushes the tip in. Toto bites your neck at the feeling of his length sinking in, disappearing into you inch by inch.
"You've been so good for Daddy, schatzi," Toto purrs, nipping at the skin of your neck as his hips begin moving. He's stretching you out so good, filling you up to the brim to the point where you can't even speak. "You don't have to do anything except take my cock and let me use your sweet cunt, okay? Just have to let it happen...take whatever I give you."
He fucks into you hard then, pulling your hips up to meet his pumps as a loud squelching and skin slapping fills the room. Your breasts bounce in time with his movements, rocking against the broad expanse of his chest. It's better than what you had been imagining all night as you sat and suffered at that table, in the hallway, in the elevator, and on your knees. You start to whine as you feel that familiar sensation begin to build again when his cock hits that perfect spot inside of you, and he pulls his face away from your neck to capture your lips in a searing kiss.
"Cum on my cock, baby" he murmurs against your lips, pounding into your pussy with unspoken ownership. "Be my good girl, be Daddy's good girl."
You cry into his mouth as you come undone, the walls of your cunt clenching around his thickness.
"That's right, baby, Jesus, you look so beautiful when you cum."
You can tell by the way his hips are stuttering that he won't last much longer, and you wrap your legs around his waist, hooking him in and forcing him deeper inside of you.
"Please cum inside of me, Daddy" you beg, the words tumbling out of your mouth.
He praises you and your cunt endlessly, the words spilling out of his mouth as his thrusts get sloppier and sloppier
"So fucking good, just for me, shit - so fucking tight-"
"Fuck!" he curses one last time before emptying himself inside of you, the pulsations of his cock making you ache in the best way possible. You can feel his spent leaking out of you and onto your inner thighs as he collapses on top of you, your spent breaths and moans mixing together.
His breath is warm on your neck as you both come down from your orgasms. Toto lifts his head when he finally catches his breath, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, looking down at you with a soft smile.
"Was I too mean?" he asks huskily, eyes searching your face for any sign that he had gone too far this time, overstepped a boundary.
"No," you sigh contentedly. "You were perfect. Now, can you please untie me?"