This a a reminder to not fall victim to the sunk-cost fallacy. Just because you invested time and energy into something, does not mean you should indefinitely waste more time and energy on it, if you decide it’s not what you want anymore. This goes for anything, from books, to relationships, to jobs, to hobbies, etc.
If it’s not serving you anymore, move on.
“We need to remember that we are all created creative and can invent new scenarios as frequently as they are needed.”
— Maya Angelou
“growth isn’t always constant. relapses happen. it doesn’t erase all your success.”
— Unknown
follow your dreams at a sustainable pace
Mr Gaiman, I wonder if you can help me. I have so many story ideas but any time I try to work on one I get nowhere and immediately hit a wall. Do you have any idea what I could be doing wrong?
Perhaps you are expecting it to be easy. Walls are there to be climbed or knocked down or gone around. You don't have to stop just because it gets hard or you get stuck or you don't know what happens next. If you get stuck, figure out how to get unstuck. If it's not working, do what you have to do to get it working.
Take the story idea. Write down what you know about it. Write down the characters you know going into it. And then think about where your story starts (which is often not the place that the overall story begins) and whose eyes we are seeing it through and where and how you want to begin.
If you hit a wall, go forward, don't stop. Skip to the next scene where you know what happens. Write a bad version of a scene you can fix later. Do what needs doing to keep moving.
when simone de beauvoir said “i’m reliving it, neutralizing it, and transforming it into an inoffensive past that i can keep in my heart without either disowning it or suffering from it. that’s not easy. it’s at once painful and poetic.”
Let's have an honest conversation about something that drives me absolutely crazy. You know those little comments and judgments that somehow only seem to apply to women? Yeah, we need to talk about that.
When men vs. when women do the exact same thing:
He's assertive → She's aggressive
He's focused → She's cold
He's passionate → She's emotional
He's dedicated → She's obsessed
He's confident → She's arrogant
He's strategic → She's manipulative
He's busy → She's neglecting her life
The classics that never seem to die:
He's dated around → She has "a past"
He's a bachelor → She's "left on the shelf"
He's selective → She's picky
He's career-focused → She's married to her job
He's a social butterfly → She's attention-seeking
He's "finding himself" → She needs to settle down
He's direct → She's desperate
The endless contradictions:
Look professional, but not too try-hard
Be attractive, but not attention-seeking
Wear makeup, but keep it "natural"
Be fit, but not too muscular
Dress well, but not too sexy
Look youthful, but not immature
Age gracefully, but never look old
How it's perceived:
His anger is justified → Her anger is hysteria
His sadness is deep → Her sadness is dramatic
His stress is from hard work → Her stress is from "not coping"
His excitement is enthusiasm → Her excitement is over-the-top
His concerns are valid → Her concerns are paranoid
His anxiety is pressure → Her anxiety is weakness
The never-ending judgment:
He's babysitting → She's just parenting
He's helping around the house → She's doing her job
He's focused on work → She's neglecting family
He needs time to himself → She's selfish
He's weighing his options → She's wasting time
He's figuring out what he wants → Her clock is ticking
Things I'm tired of seeing:
Men get mentored → Women get hit on
Men network → Women "sleep their way up"
Men are busy → Women "can't handle it"
Men are thorough → Women are perfectionists
Men delegate → Women are lazy
Men need work-life balance → Women are uncommitted
The ridiculous expectations:
Be fun but not too wild
Be social but not too friendly
Be smart but not intimidating
Be successful but not threatening
Be independent but not difficult
Be strong but still need help
Be confident but still humble
What we're dealing with:
Be ambitious but not threatening
Lead but don't be bossy
Achieve but don't outshine
Negotiate but don't be demanding
Succeed but stay likeable
Excel but remain modest
Win but make it look effortless
What this actually means for us:
Constant second-guessing
Walking on eggshells
Energy drain from overthinking
Imposter syndrome
Reduced authenticity
Limited self-expression
Unnecessary stress
What we can do about it:
Call it out
Name the double standard
Question the logic
Point out the inconsistency
Support other women
2. Break the patterns
Reject unfair labels
Define success personally
Set our own standards
Celebrate authenticity
3. Change the narrative
Share success stories
Highlight achievements
Create new networks
Mentor others
Remember:
You're not "too much"
Your achievements are earned
Your feelings are valid
Your ambitions are worthy
Your standards are important
Your voice matters
Your path is yours
Link to our website: https://girltalkcollectives.com/
i would describe myself as a “stay-at-home dragon”