I have a simple, yet incredibly important and difficult question. How do I defeat depression?
Depression isn't Sauron. There's not a magic ring to throw into a volcano.
Strategies that work for me are: 1) work. Work helps and making things help. 2) having other people who make you feel better and brighter around helps, so do animals, 3) Exercise. I'm not a natural born exerciser, so I have a trainer who turns up once or twice a week and works me out until I'm exhausted then finishes with yoga. Walking and weights and biking and running, or whatever you can do, are all real ways to change your mood.
Stop doing things that increase your depression. Do more of the things that lift your spirits.
And work with a therapist, talk to your doctor, all that.
“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
— André Gide, Autumn Leaves
I think sometimes healing is so hard because there’s a point where you don’t recognize yourself. It’s like, if I don’t have that fundamental badness in me, am I still me? Who am I without the ugly part? there’s beauty in the transformation but there’s also love in the familiar and the wrongness feels like love because it knows you. what I’m saying is that even when it’s good, sometimes you need to mourn the change
Trista Mateer, from "Aphrodite Made Me Do It," originally published in 2024
― Albert Camus, Notebooks: 1935-1951
GET YOUR BODY OUT OF SURVIVAL MODE SO YOU CAN CREATE FROM YOUR HEART
Enfin Seule! (Finally Alone) by Jean-Louis Forain in Le Courrier Français, ca. 1890
Had a shitty stupid day, came home and made myself a hot buttered rum, and with the first sip every sore muscle in my body relaxed. In case you need a cure like that, here's my recipe. I make mine in a big ass mug so if you use a standard coffee mug you'll need to size it down. It's all to taste, anyway.
Brew mug most of but not all the way full with strong black tea. Traditionally it's made with hot water but we all know tea is the best kind of hot water. Chai would probably be great but I love just an English breakfast.
Add a couple spoonfuls of brown sugar, a splash of vanilla extract, a little cinnamon, and a pinch of salt (a little more than you think you'll want)
Add rum. A strong warm flavor is ideal - black rum, spiced rum, I got a vanilla one once that made phenomenal buttered rums. Strength is up to you. In a big mug that I'm just drinking for comfort I'll still put a good shot in there, but if you want you can mix this shit deadly and it'll still be delicious.
Look at me. Look at me. I wouldn't lie to you about this. "Buttered" is literal. Add a big hunk of butter. No, bigger than that. Whisk it in until it melts. When you got enough in there it should be just a little paler and more opaque than it started.
If you sip it and it tastes sweet but flat, like it's missing something, add more butter or salt. Enjoy. Don't say I never did anything for you.
“I sometimes need to write things which I cannot completely control but which therefore prove that what is in me is stronger than I am.”
— Albert Camus
A friend once told me that when they are struggling with getting laundry done, she pretends it is her sworn duty to smuggle the young prince out of the castle to safety, disguised in a laundry hamper.
Now, when I am struggling with hygiene, I pretend I am part of a village with an annual festival, and I get one day a year to spend luxuriously at a bathhouse in preparation.
What my friend imparted on me was the skill of turning mundane tasks into fantastical adventures to make them more compelling and bearable.
So next time you need to go on a mental health walk, maybe consider doing reconnaissance for a secret underground organisation.
Next time cooking is too much of a chore, consider you ability to turn space station rations into a feast to the delight of your crewmates.
Okay so when I got sucked into the phantom zone last week while watching youtube shorts a lot of the content it fed me was ADHD tips and a lot of it was either useless for me or redundant but there was one REALLY good tip about taking breaks that wasn't about taking breaks it was about RETURNING from breaks and the tip is: when you are about to go on a break, before you step away from your task (work, craft project, school stuff) decide what you'll do as the first thing when you sit back down at your task and set up your workspace to do that thing.
That means you've got an easy re-entry point to go back to doing the thing instead of sitting back down and having to make a decision or having to reorient from break mode to task mode. You have pre-reoriented and can just go back into working mode.
I've been doing this by circling what my next task on my tasklist is and bringing up the windows that I'll need for the task before I step away from my desk.
Brilliant hack, works great for me, hope it works great for you as well.