You Don’t Talk Too Much. You Aren’t Too Loud. You Aren’t Too Needy. You Aren’t Too Sensitive.

Skills Activity (ACCEPTS)

While DBT is often referenced for BPD, I think a lot of the skills are useful for almost anyone, so this activity is going to be focused on the ACCEPTS skill and coming up with a plan for a future circumstance. This skill is useful in times of emotional crisis where you may need a distraction to get through until you can properly deal with the emotions. (Example: You're at work and need to get through the work day before you can deal with the feelings.)

The goal is to answer the questions in italics when you’re calm so that you can look through the list in a time of need (usually a time when you need a distraction) which is why I’m suggesting doing this activity in advance. You can do this in a notebook, on your phone, computer, etc. Wherever will be accessible to you. Please feel free to skip over any that you think aren’t doable for you in a time of distress.

Activities: Focus on activities that you enjoy and/or involve thought and concentration. Maybe this is watching a show, doing some baking or something like that.

What are some activities that you enjoy or distract you that you could do in a time you need distraction?

Contributing: Focus on someone/something other than yourself. This may mean doing a good deed (even something small like giving someone a compliment like “I love your shirt!”) or something like volunteering. These things can make you feel good and serve as a good distraction. Something simple could be sending someone some anonymous love!

Are there some ideas you have that you could do? Write some down if you can.

Comparisons: Compare your situation to a time you’ve been through a worse circumstance and made it through. This doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid now (they definitely are) but can serve as a reminder that you can get through this.

If brainstorming for this is likely to be triggering, please skip this over. If not, maybe write down some reminders of things you’ve overcome that you didn’t think you could. (Example for me - stopped smoking).

Emotions: Focus on something that will create another emotion. If you’re feeing depressed, maybe there is a show/movie that never fails to make you laugh. It’s something silly, but I find it really hard to feel sad whenever I put on some of my favourite childhood songs like the “Hamster Dance” and I can’t help but sing when I put on “I Just Can’t Wait to be King.” For me, singing and dancing can make me feel better, even if just for a little while.

What are some things that usually make you smile or laugh that you can think of or do when you need to try and feel a different emotion?

Bonus - Write down ideas for more than the “happy emotion” like “hopeful, serenity, etc”.

Pushing away: Imagine yourself physically pushing away your emotions. Maybe it helps to even write them down on a piece of paper and crumble it up and throw it away, or even tear it up.

Is there something you can do to make pushing away emotions easier? If something like writing it down and tearing it up may help, jot something like that down.

Thoughts: Focus on distracting thoughts when your emotions take over. This might mean counting in your head, reciting something you’ve memorized in your head, or engaging in an activity like reading.

What are some distracting thoughts you could focus on? (Example- things like picking a category - like dog breeds, and naming all the breeds you can think of, etc).

What are distracting activities you could do? (Example - Doing a wordsearch, sudoko, colouring book, etc).

Sensations: Focus on strong (but safe) sensations. Maybe this is sucking on a sour candy, or holding an ice cube.

What sensations can you try if you need to ground yourself or distract yourself?

Feel free to share your answers if you answer these by reblogging this or posting in our community!

I hope you believe that you can still make a beautiful life for yourself even if you lost many years of it to grief, or darkness, depression, or a wound that wouldn't close.

when susan sontag wrote “I must change my life so that I can live it, not wait for it”

“One of the things I had to learn as a writer was to trust the act of writing. To put myself in the position of writing to find out what I was writing.”

— E. L. Doctorow

“From the very beginning you are being told to compare yourself with others. This is the greatest disease; it is like a cancer that goes on destroying your very soul because each individual is unique, and comparison is not possible.”

— Osho

A friend once told me that when they are struggling with getting laundry done, she pretends it is her sworn duty to smuggle the young prince out of the castle to safety, disguised in a laundry hamper.

Now, when I am struggling with hygiene, I pretend I am part of a village with an annual festival, and I get one day a year to spend luxuriously at a bathhouse in preparation.

What my friend imparted on me was the skill of turning mundane tasks into fantastical adventures to make them more compelling and bearable.

So next time you need to go on a mental health walk, maybe consider doing reconnaissance for a secret underground organisation.

Next time cooking is too much of a chore, consider you ability to turn space station rations into a feast to the delight of your crewmates.

I think sometimes healing is so hard because there’s a point where you don’t recognize yourself. It’s like, if I don’t have that fundamental badness in me, am I still me? Who am I without the ugly part? there’s beauty in the transformation but there’s also love in the familiar and the wrongness feels like love because it knows you. what I’m saying is that even when it’s good, sometimes you need to mourn the change

Every page in this book is like a kick to the gut, but it's also validating my experience so much. Its painful to realise what I lived through is exactly this and that there's no repairing that though.

“growth isn’t always constant. relapses happen. it doesn’t erase all your success.”

— Unknown