Hamilton But College Au :D

I need everyone to see this ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE

Best of Hitzewelle-Tipps 1973:

Ziemlich Beschissen

Stirn abwischen

Ich habe eine Bockwurst gegessen

Deo unter die Achseln und s°nst ªm gªnzen Kőrper~

Sie soll'n Arbeiten gehen, dann ham Sie was zu Tun

Langsam denken

Hut (sonst wird das Gehirn weich)

FOOD HUBRIS BY COUNTRY america: believes their shitty local burger chain is a once-in-a-lifetime culinary experience because their mayo includes onion paste canada: if your poutine tastes better than the styrofoam plate it comes on you will discover the cold rage that lies under the canadian's polite exterior united kingdom: despite thriving and unique fusion cuisines spreading from the UK to the rest of the world in recent decades, when asked to think of 'british food' the average UK citizen will start a fight over whether cold beans with a modest side of white bread is haute cuisine france: McDo Ortolan Bunting italy: extremely mad about american versions of italian food. blissfully ignorant of what happens in brazil brazil: if the scientific genius applied to making cronenbergian pizzas were applied to anything else, brazilians would all be commuting to jobs on the moon. They have pizza that can feel pain russia: obviously mayonnaise is the perfect topping for all foodstuffs, this is solved. The question is what to put on top of mayonnaise, and it might never be answered germany: less a joke than a fact: the single most produced numbered Volkswagen part is a standardized currywurst

Eine ehrliche Alternative der Visitenkarte:

Die Drei jugendlichen Detektive Die drei ??? Wir machen jeden Scheiß mit. Despotismus und Geheimniskrämerei: Justus Jonas Lebensgefährliche Stunts und Angstzustände: Peter Shaw Informationsbeschaffung und Verletzungen: Bob Andrews

I love the OT4 of Arthur, Gwen, Merlin, and Lancelot, but please, for a moment, imagine the potential of Arthur, Gwen, Merlin, and Freya.

Merlin heals her and finds a way for Freya to control the Bastet's curse so she doesn't go full murder mode every night, so she lives (please, just let Merlin have a love who actually lives. Just one. One) and she and Merlin have a long-distance relationship for years until Arthur is king and Merlin convinces her to come to Camelot and meet Arthur and Gwen. She knows about the three of them. She's cool with it.

Arthur is a little awkward around Freya at first because he tried to kill her and almost succeeded. Makes for some tense dinners. But Gwen loves her. She's not had a girlfriend since Morgana, and she doesn't mind the Bastet thing. She got turned into a deer once. Shit happens.

Freya loves Gwen right back because not many people are cool with the curse, and she's almost forgotten that people can be this nice. Still a little awkward around Arthur because of the whole "attempted murder" fiasco, but she warms to him when she sees how much Arthur loves Merlin.

And Arthur relaxes around Freya when he finds out that being one with the Bastet means she's strong enough to throw him across a room if she wants to. He's got a Thing for strong women, okay? Hell, he's pretty sure he decided to marry Gwen when he saw her straighten a piece of steel working in the forge.

And eventually the three of them convince Freya to be social and start appearing in court with the rest of them. She's not that good at it, but Gwen's got her back, and no one really wants to piss off the Queen by being snobby to her mistress (everyone already knows Merlin is Arthur's mistress) because Gwen will absolutely cut a bitch over that classist shit.

Gwaine makes a joke one time when Arthur is late for morning training (George told them that the King was with his wife. Gwaine asked, "Which one?") that somehow becomes a medieval Vine.

("The Queen was at a tavern with her husband." "Which one?")

("The King is visiting Nemeth with his wife." "Which one?")

Even Merlin has said it, right to Arthur's face after he asked Merlin to please find his wife sometime before dinner. He had to bolt out of the room before Arthur threw a boot at him, but he said it.

He's outnumbered, though, because he surprises Gwen with flowers one day when Freya's in the room. She's delighted, "I have such a thoughtful husband, don't I?" and Arthur realises too late that he's been played when Freya grins at him, "Which one?"

Traitors, the both of them.

And the four of them rule Camelot into its Golden Age and love each other and are happy, goddammit, because they deserve to be happy and in love and not dead.

That is all.

kermit is a butch and miss piggy is a femme and they are in lesbian love

We are receiving unconfirmed reports that it is bedtime. Citizens are advised to get into their pajamas and remain on high alert

I know unrealistisch, aber funny. Also:

Hab ja heute Das fleißige Lieschen nochmal geschaut und im Krankenhaus wird Adam ja von ner Krankenschwester gefragt, ob der 'nette, junge Mann', der immer seinen Vater besuchen kommt denn sein Bruder sei und Adam antwortet ja einfach schnell mit "Ja", ums hinter sich zu bringen.

So. Die Szene, die wir alle wollen: Adam völlig fertig an Leos Krankenbett. Jetzt mal GANZ kitschig und übertrieben weitergesponnen. Leo wacht auf, Adam ist erleichtert, sie reden und (unrealistic but serving the plot) sie gestehen sich ihre Gefühle und küssen sich.

Entry: die Krankenschwester. Sie sieht wie Adam seinen 'Bruder' küsst und schleicht sich ganz langsam wieder zur Tür raus, sodass die zwei sie nicht bemerken. Draußen steht sie dann und starrt ins Nichts.

"Ich hab nichts gesehen."

Bonus points (and quoting my bestie): Sie ist vor Jahren zugezogen. "Das ist das Saarland, das ist normal."

Merlin: I never know whether I should use ‘farther’ or ‘further’

Leon: ‘farther’ is for physical distance and ‘further’ is for metaphorical distance

Morgana: And ‘father’ is for Emotional distance.

Gwen: morgana nO-

Arthur: no, no she’s got a point.

When I grow up I wanna be upper middle class.