My Dad And I Once Had A Disagreement Over Him Using The Adage "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger."

My dad and I once had a disagreement over him using the adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I said, "That's just not true. Sometimes what doesn't kill you leaves you brittle and injured or traumatized."

He stopped and thought about that for a while. He came back later, and said, "It's like wood glue."

He pointed to my bookshelf, which he helped me salvage a while ago. He said, "Do you remember how I explained that, once we used the wood glue on them, the shelves would actually be stronger than they were before they broke?"

I did.

"But before we used the wood glue, those shelves were broken. They couldn't hold up shit. If you had put books on them, they would have collapsed. And that wood glue had to set awhile. If we put anything on them too early, they would have collapsed just the same as if we'd never fixed them at all. You've got to give these things time to set."

It sounded like a pretty good metaphor to me, but one thing I did pick up on was that whatever broke those shelves, that's not the thing that made them stronger. That just broke them. It was being fixed that made them stronger. It was the glue.

So my dad and I agreed, what doesn't kill you doesn't actually make you stronger, but healing does. And if you feel like healing hasn't made you stronger than you were before, you're probably not done healing. You've got to give these things time to set.

More Posts from Potatofan and Others

1 year ago

when the story is just not working, but you keep writing anyway

When The Story Is Just Not Working, But You Keep Writing Anyway
1 year ago
Im Trying To Go To Sleep But I Cannotttttt Stop Thinking About This And Laughing
Im Trying To Go To Sleep But I Cannotttttt Stop Thinking About This And Laughing

im trying to go to sleep but i cannotttttt stop thinking about this and laughing

11 months ago

Everyone please behold this baby tree:

Everyone Please Behold This Baby Tree:

It's so much smaller than the support posts, they had to secure it with caution tape.

3 months ago

In honor of Ace day, here’s a pretty cheesy comic I made a few years ago as an assignment for an education studies class. The prompt was to address an important issue in education, and at the time I was figuring out my sexuality and also discovering my deep-seated rage over never hearing the term ‘asexual’ in a sex ed class, and with the lack of research in general into the ace-spec experience. The comic is accompanied by quotes from a few of the qualitative studies I did find that interviewed ace folks.

In Honor Of Ace Day, Here’s A Pretty Cheesy Comic I Made A Few Years Ago As An Assignment For An Education
In Honor Of Ace Day, Here’s A Pretty Cheesy Comic I Made A Few Years Ago As An Assignment For An Education
In Honor Of Ace Day, Here’s A Pretty Cheesy Comic I Made A Few Years Ago As An Assignment For An Education

This comic isn’t necessarily about my experience, but the project as a whole was about the need to normalize asexuality and other queer identities in a sex ed/health class context and treat them as REAL. I’d probably do the comic differently today, but I stand by the message overall.

1 year ago

you know what really gets my goat?

1 year ago

Hey. Hey you. The person aimlessly scrolling, stuck in an immobilized standoff with your brain

It's not your fault. You won't be stuck forever. I know you're trying. I know you hate it. It's ok.

And tell the Mean Voice in your head that it's not helping. It knows as well as you do that you would get up and Just Start the task if you could. You're not doing this on purpose.

Take a deep breath. Relax your jaw. I see you trying so hard to break out of it, but you can't force it. You'll get Unstuck eventually. All you can do in the interim is be kind to yourself.

3 months ago

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

1 year ago

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

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potatofan - Potato in Space
Potato in Space

a potato but not a simple one ... a FREE potato

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