Asexual Headcanons Are Not The Same As Infantalizing Characters And I Really Wish People Would Stop Conflating

Asexual headcanons are not the same as infantalizing characters and I really wish people would stop conflating the two. There's a difference between "this character knows what sex is and is asexual because they're just not interested" and "this character is an innocent uwu bean who doesn't even know what sex is" and I'm so tired of people assuming that the latter is what you're saying when you headcanon a character as an abstinent or sex-repulsed asexual.

Over the years I have seen so many posts saying it's bad to headcanon a certain character as ace because they're neurodivergent and it's infantalizing, and as a neurodivergent ace person, I'm sick of it! Nuance exists! A character being ace does not mean they're a precious, innocent baby. Literally all it means is that they're not interested in sex. And yeah, obviously ace and aspec people come in all different flavors and plenty of them do have sex, but we should not have to justify our ace headcanons with "oh but they're the kind of ace that has sex" for them to be a valid adult character.

Do you know how hurtful it is, as an adult ace person with no interest in ever having sex, to be told that headcanoning a character I identify with as being similar to me is infantalizing them? Even now, when most of the big exclusionist talk is behind us, I see these kinds of takes - often from fellow queer people - and it just really hurts. Just like ace people are not stealing resources from other queer people, ace headcanons are not doing anything to hurt your own personal headcanons for a character. Maybe leave the marginalized group enjoying projecting onto characters they relate to alone and just enjoy your own headcanons!!

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potatofan

5 months ago

i grew up in a small rural town where there was one dentist, which i went to from around age 5 whenever my parents had the right insurance/money/time to get me there. anyway when i'm like 20 or so i started having minor issues with my wisdom teeth coming in, but not so severe that this place can't extract them.

so i go in for that and i'm sitting there in the chair and the assistant comes in looking at some paperwork and says "so you've been coming here for a while right?" and i am like "oh yeah since i was a little kid" and she replies "yeah, i thought so, there's one note on your file and it's 'patient likes dinosaurs and bugs'"

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potatofan

1 year ago

remember in School of Rock where the black girl was afraid to say she wanted to be a singer because she was fat and didn’t want to get laughed at but Dewey was all “who gives a shit, I’m fat too and so is aretha franklin but we’re still valuable and we rock” and then the girl felt better without having to be told that beauty comes in all sizes or some other bullshit. thats the kind of body positivity I’m looking for. tell these babies that they’re worth a damn without tying it to any other arbitrary ideals

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potatofan

3 months ago

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

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potatofan

1 year ago

my favorite genre of photography is those awkward aotc photos

for example:

these both look like you walked in on a private conversation and they want you to leave. it evokes SOME kind of emotion in me

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potatofan

1 year ago

I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you

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potatofan

11 months ago