After All This Time I Think I've Finally Understood Mizuki Completely. It's Not Just That She Worried

after all this time i think i've finally understood mizuki completely. it's not just that she worried her friends would leave her if they knew her secret. she thought it would be best for them to leave, that she, as her true self, didn't deserve to have friends.

that's why even keeping the secret was so painful for her, why she saw it as inherently deceptive. that's why she created that forced distance, not just to protect herself but also to punish herself. if her worst fear was the heartbreak of losing friendships, she wouldn't have run away from someone who clearly wanted her to stay.

that's why she considered it an indulgence to want to see the cherry blossoms with n25 again. that's why ena's promise to wait forever made her feel guilty rather than hopeful. because in her eyes, ena wasn't talking to the real mizuki.

but now, she knows the secret. now, mizuki can finally trust ena. she breaks down in front of her, making herself vulnerable and for once not running away. now, ena can finally understand mizuki. she was able to find the right words to say because she never stopped searching for her, and it finally paid off.

there's no such thing as deserving or not deserving to be friends