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How to: Self Love

In the recent years, especially online, there has been a constant push for "self love". Anytime someone might express the tiniest bit of negativity about their love life or social life, the answer always seems to be something along the lines of "just love yourself". While I am always an advocate for self love because I truly believe some people wouldn't have the problems that they do, not only do I know that it can only do so much, but that it's also not so easy to achieve. Nor do some people even know where to start. A lot of people seem to be screaming it as a solution but very few are telling others how to achieve it.

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♡ Get off of the internet.

I am so serious when I say that one of the worst detriments to your mental health and self love journey is social media. I'm not telling anyone to cut out social media as a whole (although I'm also not not saying that) but it will be virtually impossible to get to a headspace you're content with when you're constantly bombarded with the "perfect" lives of strangers. There will always be a comparison going on in your head and doubts about your own life and where you feel you should be. It's the perfect breeding ground for resentment and jealousy and more insecurities.

Cut down on how much time you spend on social media. Fill that time with things of the real world, and when you are on social media, curate your online experience. Follow people who look like you or better yet, follow people who don't post themselves or anything about their "glamorous" life at all. There's nothing wrong with having a following list filled with nothing but food bloggers or interior design accounts or cat accounts. You want to see content that's going to make you feel good and not make you feel worse about yourself.

♡ Adopt a healthier lifestyle!

Believe it or not, but eating bad foods and ingesting soft drinks/energy drinks all the time actually does have an impact on how you physically feel. It can actually make you feel more groggy and less energetic once it's worn off. Eating right is just a small step in making yourself feel better. Not only is it good for your body so it is going to have a legitimate positive impact on your overall health and physical well-being, but I'll be honest here and say that the validation is also a plus.

It does make you feel good about yourself to know that you're leading a relatively healthy lifestyle and that you're actively putting in work to improve and maintain your health. That's not bad to say. The same goes for exercise, and exercise also releases endorphins that help you feel happy after workouts. No one's saying you need to be 100 lbs, but you just need to do whatever is going to make you feel good about your body. When you think you look good, you feel good.

♡ Self Care!

This can be anything from skincare to taking yourself out on a date. I think it's safe to say that a lot of people's insecurities stem from body related things, and skin would be right up there with weight. Improving what you decide to eat will have a positive effect on your skin, yes, but for some people, that will only do so much. Other methods also need to be adopted, and developing a skincare routine can make plenty of people feel productive even when they aren't "actually doing anything". Feeling like they're doing something worthwhile (which they are) can make a lot of people feel better about themselves.

Pampering yourself in general can have a surprising effect on how you feel about yourself. A lot of people will write it off as meaningless or superficial (🙄) but you're literally loving yourself. You're performing acts of love on yourself whatever those may be to you. If you love to read, take yourself on a date to a bookstore and go somewhere nice to sit down and read it. If you're really into fashion or beauty products, take yourself shopping and try on as many clothes as you want or test the products you want to try.

If you like tasting new things, take yourself out to a new restaurant or maybe a familiar one and try a new meal. See if there's wine tasting or cheese tasting near you. Take bubble baths and sign up for massages. Loving yourself means actually loving yourself and just like you would with anyone else, you want to do things that show that.

♡ Cultivate Hobbies!

It's true that when you have exciting things going on in your life, you're too busy to think about anyone else's life but your own. When you're happy with the things going on in your own life, you won't feel envious of someone else's or feel insecure about yours. Read more books that interest you, and Goodreads is a good app to use to keep track of what you want to read, what you have already read, and what you thought about what you already read.

If you have the means to, travel more. You don't have to go across the ocean to get more life experience and culture, but even just a city you've never been to is a good place to start. Take up an instrument you've always wanted to play or start lessons for a sport that always interested you. If you have the chance to, join a committee that plans events or take an opportunity to travel abroad for school. Look into internships. The point is to have things going for yourself, things that will enrich your life both in the now and the future. When you start to make yourself into a more well rounded individual, you'll feel more accomplished with your life and yourself.

♡ Become your dream girl!

Think of the absolute best version of yourself. Think of what her hair is like and what kind of makeup she wears and how she dresses and what her hobbies/interests are. Away from the influence of the internet, think about what you want to be. If it helps, write all of that down and the necessary steps it takes to become her. It could be something as simple as drinking lemon water every morning or doing some ballet stretches every night. Your goal is to become that dream version of yourself and no one else has to be privy to this journey but you. Sometimes, altering things about yourself does help you love yourself more and there's nothing wrong with that.

♡ Talk to yourself!

Yes. Talk to yourself. Buy a journal and make a habit of writing out your thoughts. Try to write something every day. Especially negative thoughts and feelings, because carrying those around doesn't make anyone feel good. Write about things you want to change or improve in your life. You could even write about something that happened that day and how it made you feel. It's healthy to do so because holding things in can and will come back to chip away at your emotions. It's also therapeutic to release all of that.

Start writing love letters to yourself too! It doesn't have to be a whole letter. It could just be a compliment on a sticky note that you put on your mirror or wall. Express positive feelings about yourself and put it in a letter like you would someone else that you love. Hype yourself up! Stroke your own ego! Make yourself feel loved. Start thinking about what you like about yourself and tell yourself how much you love those things. Write words of encouragement! Go all out and make it pretty and even spray some perfume on it. It can be hard to do it daily so try for once or twice a week at first. Read them all at the end of the year or if you don't want to wait that long or don't want them to pile up, open them every 6 months or so. Tell yourself all of the things you want someone else to tell you!

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