- Stella And Riven Are Kidnaped By Some Dumb Ass-

In memes where text or panels are edited the originals are always the funniest, case in point:

Im literally sobbing I found a list I made describing the keys from Locke and key (tv version) as I was watching the series when it first came out bc I think I wanted to write fanfiction so I made it to keep track of all the keys?? But the way I described them was so weird and also inaccurate for several (tbf some details u don't find out until later in the season and I hadn't made it that far idt) and I completely totally forgot about the entire thing until just now when I went through my Google docs

so for all people who dont watch locke.and key here's a rundown of most of the keys that are introduced in the first season, written by me probably as I watched the show in real time

spoilers might be here I think?? Idk I'm just posting it because I found them kind of funny esp since I couldn't remember writing it At All

***

Making a list of keys here so i dont forget:

Ghost Key: allows u to astral project and go outside of your body and talk to dead ppl. Very cool right. Unfortunately if u forget to go back through the door or someone else closes it before you go back through yourself and take out the key, you become a permanent ghost. Whoopsies!!

Anywhere Key: can take u wherever u want to go as long as youve been there or have seen a door there. It cant take u where u havent been bitch. So dont even think about ur crush’s pants

Puppet Key (also known as the music box key): when inserted into the music box and the music is playing, that person can control other peoples actions. Pretty damn scary

Mending Key: i think if u put something in a certain cabinet thats broken and then lock and unlock it it comes out fixed?? Idfk. does not work on people. sorry grandma

Head Key: theres a nasty lil hole that appears in the back of ur neck and when you insert it you can go into your mind and do shit!! And even put things in and/or take out shit like personality traits and memories and whatnot. I wouldnt go near this thing tbh. Don't try puttin nothing in my neck u dont need to see my mind

Flower/Plant Key(?? I dont think it has an actual name): it unlocks a tree and then memories in paint jars rise out of the ground?? I dont actually know what this one does. Something to do with memories idk Edit: this should have been fuckin obvious but it controls plants :))

Mirror Key: u put it in a mirror and then an evil you will appear in the reflection and beckon you forward like “come to pappy” and you can go through the mirror and end up in an evil funhouse thingy with lots of mirrors and versions of yourself?? Apparently lots of people have died trying to get out and its a prison of self?? He had to go in with a rope around his waist to get his mom out?? 0/10 would not recommend you might die

Echo Key: “can bring people back”-random guy offscreen, 2020. Apparently if you use it to unlock the wellhouse and then yell someones name into the well like you at le jour d’amour (spoiler alert that person gotta be dead) an “echo” of them will come back and u can talk to them. Its considered disrespectful to use it tbh because u disturbing the dead

Identity Key: basically an identity crisis meets polyjuice potion. A keyhole appears under ur chin and then you insert it and turn the key and then you can look like someone else. Eww gross!! 

Matchstick Key: a lighter. You touch it to something or put it in a keyhole or wHATEVER idc, and whatever u put it in bursts into flames. Fun fact, this also works on people!! Haven’t you ever wanted to just set yourself on fire? Well now you can with the Matchstick Key!! Limited edition because a demon stole it from a child then pushed said child onto train tracks. Also spoiler alert if you use it on yourself you die. Because u fuckin set yourself on fire. What did u expect, to not spontaneously combust??

Shadow Key: Key for the Crown of Shadows. I think u put it in the crown of shadows and then it works. It summons shadow kreechurs to work 4U. Very awesome ikr

Omega Key: literally has no other purpose than to unlock one specific door. The Omega Door (very original name oooh scary ooooh *ghost noises*). Beyond this door lie unimaginable eldritch abominations that Will Definitely Kill You. so unless you want to die at the hands of shadow demons, this aint the key for u. Use it as a mantle decoration or something

I’m begging you to look at this.

26/06/2018

Personal goals and Targets = good

An idealised version of yourself, that you think you NEED to achieve to be happy = bit shit. 0/10 wouldn’t recommend.  

In the town where I grew up, there was a large statue in one of the parks, of a famous historical white colonizer. I'm not going to say who specifically, suffice it to say that it was someone who wasn't worth memorializing for their deeds. And as you can imagine, this statue was a frequent target of vandalism, with paint or toilet paper or eggs on multiple occasions. Now, the local council was generally pretty lax when it came to repairing potholes or other public damage in the town, but every time, 24 hours after this particular statue was hit, the same person would always appear in a Hi-Vis vest, hat, mask and sunglasses, carrying a bucket of water, and wash it clean. They would do it as quickly as possible, but always made sure the face and the name carved at the bottom were generously scrubbed. This only encouraged people to do it again, and so it became a vicious cycle.

Within a year, the statue had sustained so much damage that it was unrecognizable and the lettering unreadable, so eventually the council came and took it down. Also apparently, the person in the Hi-Vis vest didn't even work for the council. They were supposedly just some 'good samaritan' who cleaned it, often before the council even discovered it needed cleaning, so they just let them do it and ignored the problem. They didn't bother putting the statue up again.

Much later, we found out that the anonymous 'samaritan' had been deliberately washing the statue with a bucket of saltwater, which had dramatically corroded it, causing irreversible accumulative damage far worse than spray paint ever would have done. It's even theorized that they were also often the one spray-painting it, just so that they had an excuse to come back after a day to wash it.

hello dark mode users :)

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🔭

For your appreciation: Robby standing on his tippy toes to peer through the window

My best friend loves rob pattinson and over the years she sent me a lot of articles/quotes of him, so here are some of my favourites

(there is A LOT more, this man is INSANE)

Bonus: