Butch/femme Realness

Happy International Womxn’s Day!

To all who identify with the feminine~

I highly agree with this.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am all for breaking the heteronormative mold and rising above oppression. But one thing that I do idolize about that time was the fact that, for some families (including my great grandparents), a family, dog, vehicle and mortgage (not rent!) could be supported with one person’s income. Of course, this varied person to person due to the fact that there were many other intersectional factors at play, but it was true for some.

Nowadays, in most places, you’re lucky to get a half-decent house or a reasonable apartment with both partners in a relationship working multiple jobs, and even then they have to worry about food and bills, nevermind transportation and pets. 

This is why we need a wealth tax and some serious redistribution.

Maybe the fertility rate for The United States wouldn’t be so dismally low if we had an economy the could support single-earner households.

Home Mothers & Working Mothers are both valid.

you can do either one and still love your children with all your heart~

For my Christian, Catholic, and general Jesus-believing people on here. 

I like Easter as much as the next person and I still celebrate it in a different capacity, but honestly? Jesus would be disappointed if everyone ignored his sacrifice and only focused on his coming back to life.

For years I have walked into near empty sanctuaries on Good Friday. While the church is packed on Easter, as people spill into folding chairs. This is something that causes me deep grief. People come to see the victorious Christ without even understanding the depth of his miracle. Now this year, the church is empty on both Good Friday and Easter. These are strange times.

At the last Good Friday service I attended at my old church, the pastor  proclaimed at the very beginning of his sermon “no one wants to be here.” He then rambled on about how it was important to be optimistic for the coming Sunday. I remember how anger rose up from deep within me, threatening to spill out from my mouth: “Pastor, we need to be here. It is imperative we be here at this moment.” I am not necessarily a fan of atonement theology, however, it is worse to turn our eyes and hearts away from the horror of Jesus’ death.

Easter is meaningless without Good Friday. Light has no meaning without darkness.

Jesus was murdered. Easter is a story about a criminal preaching of an alternative kingdom. Seen as a terrorist, he was murdered by the Roman Empire. We cannot nor should not ignore this injustice. Jesus could not rise from the grave without being executed by the state. His resurrection would be meaningless if he was not killed by the government.

I don’t like optimistic platitudes. Easter is not a story of optimism. The words that Jesus cried “Eli, Eli, Lema Sabachthani!” are proof of this. It is important to acknowledge that we are in pain, that it is okay to feel abandoned and lost… just like Jesus. Rather, we should approach Easter as a story of hope. The Hope of Jesus Christ. This hope is not empty words of positivity. It is radical. This hope shines through the darkness like a lighthouse in a raging storm. 

In the hours in between the crucifixion and the resurrection, the Apostle’s Creed proclaims that Jesus “descended into hell.” There are early theological ideas that explain how Jesus went deep into the darkness to save souls before rising on Sunday. Many of these theologies depict Jesus fighting Death during His time in the afterlife. An Orthodox idea that I particularly like is that Jesus defeated death with death. 

We cannot ignore that the world is suffering right now. Especially those on the margins of society. The people most affected by this pandemic are the disabled, the chronically ill, the poor, the “essential,” the indigenous, the elderly. People are suffering financial burdens. People are losing their jobs. People are enduring being trapped in homes that have no love. People are in pain, unable to breathe. People are dying. For so many people, this is Hell. 

Hope will be our guide in this Hell. Hope will lead us into confronting and fighting this pandemic as well as the corrupt institutions that enable it to spread. Hope will guide us into the resurrection.

Jesus eternally dies on the cross of this world. Jesus eternally rises from the grave. Wherever Jesus is, let us be. Amen.

Happy Passover! ~Canary

Chag pesach sameach!

[Image description: A seder plate, with parsley, an egg, horseradish, a shankbone and a beet, charoset, and slices of orange. End ID]

If my femininity within the context of my own life threatens you to the point that you feel the need to attack my life choices, maybe you need to reevaluate why you feel so threatened by traditional feminity. Because it’s not like I’m asking you to live the same way I do.

I’m just asking for the same freedom you want, to live in a way that makes me happy.

In case any of y’all needed a smile today :)

Puppy, 1950s

Now that sounds like one peaceful life!

I just want a nice home. A nice home to clean, decorate, & make warm, welcoming, & safe for not only my family & I, but for those in our lives. A home that people look forward to stepping foot in, not dread.

I want a husband who is not only my best friend, but my soul-mate & provider. Who I know always has things under control. Who makes me feel safe, like he'll never stop loving me. Like I can always depend on him. Like he'll never hurt me & I'll never live in fear again.

I want children. Children that I can care for, love, & play with all day. Children that will always know that mommy & daddy always have their best interests at heart. Who know mommy & daddy love each other just as much as they love them, so they can grow up with a healthy view of what a relationship should be. Children that I can tuck in at night after reading a story to, after having given a nice warm bath & can chase around the house or out in the yard during the day.

I want a nice, big kitchen that I can cook & bake in. A kitchen that always has food waiting to be eaten that I made for those I love. They'll never have to worry about going hungry. None of us will.

I want pets that we can play with & brush & give treats & new toys to. Pets that will settle down with us at night in front of a fire in chilly evenings & will be a part of our family.

I want a garden. One where I grow food to use for recipes. One where my children are free to learn how to use their hands to dig into the soil to plant their favorite fruits or vegetables.

I want a calm, loving life. I want to settle down. I don't need to travel the world. I don't need to be famous or rich. I just want simplicity. But for some reason, it feels like asking for that is what's known as too much nowadays.

Wholesome family life  ❤️

In the kitchen, 1958

Courtney Dunkel in the Boston Globe, Massachusetts, November 10, 1950