WHAT?! It's morning! I lost time. Things got a little heated— With a boy! Things got heated with a boy. I was at home picking lint off the sofa! I said to join us! The night's gone. The room's soiled and once again, I'm here with mop and mindlessness to clean it up. So the room got dirty, so what? I'll clean it up. No, I clean it up! You make the mess and I clean it up! Mark it on the calendar, align it with Ursa Major. Louis' tri-annual FUCK OFF and find me with apologies to follow. I'm sorry. SEEK comfort in the arms of lowlifes and unfortunates, and broken children, fine. Oh, fine! The fine that doesn't sound fine— But REVEALING our nature to a reporter you met in a bar ten hours ago? What if it was published? I was having some fun! You don't have enough to fear from Paris? I was in the middle of ending things, when YOU— YOU'D have been passed out on the floor next to him, Louis! Out on your feet from the drugs you stuffed him with! Oh, this is boring! You're boring! YOU ARE SO BORING! And here come the drugs. Colorless. Up the fangs, down the throat. Flavorless. Dull! Into the heart and off with the fingers, feet. Dull! Dull nights! And wallowing brain. Dull weeks, dull months, DULL AS FUCK! Suffocation by the world's softest, beige-est pillow! The ten hours I spent with that boy were more exciting, more FASCINATING, than DECADES with YOU! Oh, there it is! The half-blank, half-apocalyptic look! But what does it mean tonight, huh? Does he want to lick my boots or chop my hands off? Is it the gremlin or the good nurse tonight? Huh? Okay. Okay, perhaps. But am I as boring as the blather committed onto the ferric tapes of your fascinating boy? "Oh, it's so, so hard to be me." "Picking lint off the sofa?!" "It's so hard to kill humans." "I can feel their feelings as I drain them." You sat on your hands and put your ear to the wind. "Everyone I know wronged me." Okay. Okay, let's wake the boy up and let's try you. "I'm the vampire Armand and my daddy vampire groomed me into a little BITCH!" "My brother he tossed himself off a roof!" "Vampires who murdered my daddy made me pretend I didn't have a dick for 240 years." "My sister buried me alive. My daughter was my sister was my throw pillow. Well, he wouldn't look at me kindly. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat." I talked shit about him the whole time. So what?! THE NAME!! The name! Unuttered in our home for 23 years, said over and over again until it was pounding in my brain like a hammer. Our problems aren't about him. And you threw her name around just for cover, but it always circled back to him. I loved her. But SHE didn't love YOU. Not like he did, not like I have. I know. I know! Yes! I know. Thank you for saying it. It's all creeping back. Paris and the, uh, what, what, what? But there's... all of it coming back. There's, uh, Paris. Paris. Can you hear that? Can you hear that, hm? Can you hear her? She's calling me.
We need to do the same level of "abandon this completely" to neil gaiman as we did (and should continue to do) to jkr. Im serious. If i catch you buying more sandman comics or a different good omens copy you dont need or more of the graveyard book or coraline i will lose it. The man is a rapist. Full stop, all caps RAPIST. He doesnt deserve more money. The pratchett estate wont die out if u stop buying good omens. Theres plenty of authors who probably write leagues better than him and arent evil predators. He needs to die penniless and obscure.
iwtv is great because sam reid was like “ever since I was a little boy I dreamed of being lestat” and eric bogosian was like “the most erotic experience of my life was watching a dracula play and I want someone to bite my neck” and assad zaman was like “i think I should get to have a threesome with both daniels” and no one stopped them and jacob anderson didn't say any of that but he did deliver a performance too good for the emmys
Interview with the Vampire | 2.05
i love when characters lie to themselves in the complete privacy of their own minds
Obsessed with how Will Graham showed up to work twitching, trembling, and visibly distressed, and the entire department is like “This is Will, he just does this sometimes, he’s in perfect shape to go look at some mutilated corpses”
armand would love those tiktok videos that are like when i remember he’s my boyfriend and I can do whatever i want to him i already knnooowwww bro is biting + licking + pinching and pulling daniel’s hair and poking him in his ribs and shoving a finger in his ear whenever he feels like it
If he didn't look like this when he was young, I'll be very surprised.
the term daniel uses to refer to himself, "minion," having a different modern & archaic definition reflects their relationship so well
daniel who believes himself to have been nothing but a plaything who followed armand about for a decade and can be discarded easily, vs armand who loves daniel so much he doesn't want to keep living if he dies
He/him tired girl 🌟 Obsessed with IWTV (especially when it comes to Devil's Minion) 🌟 English isn't my first language
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