Your Unreliable Narrator Fucking Bit Me

I hate the internet. I hate how this poem doesn’t need to be finished but it has 13.9k retweets and 21.1k likes. Everyone knows how this poem ends and I hate it

Short cottagecore asks!

🏡: are you a forest, ocean, farm or mountain cottage dweller? (Or other)

🍁: what’s your favorite season?

🥐: what was the best food you have ever made yourself?

🍓: do you garden? If so, what’s the most impressive thing you’ve grown?

🌼: favorite wildflower and/or herb?

💐: what is your idea of a perfect date?

🍪: what is your favorite spice to cook/bake with?

🌱: where do you feel the coziest?

🌲: if you could make your life more cottage-y by doing one thing, what would you do?

🍄: do you forage?

☁️: what weather inspires you the most? What does it inspire you to do?

🐝: what do you find yourself daydreaming about?

🌻: what is the nicest thing you have ever done for yourself?

🧺: if you were to pack a picnic basket, what would you include in it?

🍵: yummiest warm drink for cold cottage nights?

🐌: do you have any cores outside cottagecore?

Kim Addonizio, from “For Desire”, Tell Me

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

Dear video essay creators. A video analysis is when you analyze a piece of media. No no look at me. A summary, no matter how thorough, is not an analysis. An analysis requires you to draw conclusions about the media such as authorial intent, real-world parallels, discussion about themes/worldbuilding/character motivation, and so much more. You have to stop summarizing something and saying that’s analysis. The Gaylors are doing more critical analysis than you. Is that who you want to lose to? The gaylors?

Low Budget Meal Ideas

So most of your paycheck is consumed with various bills & rent and you feel like you can’t afford to eat, or your a student and not only is your money limited but also your time, or maybe you’re just saving up to buy something special. Here’s a few ideas that may help you & your stomach through with more than just a loaf of bread.

Key Staple Ingredients

Powdered milk - 1kg makes about 7L, which means that you’re spending about 80c for a litre of milk. If used wisely this will last you weeks. I wouldn’t recommend it for having just a glass of milk or with your coffee, but it’s perfect if you’re making scrambled eggs or rice pudding… if you’re cooking with it basically. This milk is a make-as-you-need-it milk.

Alternatively if you don’t like powdered milk or you have to have some coffee or cereal, look into UHT Long-Life milk. They can last months without refrigeration before opening.

Rice - It’s filling, it’s cheap, and it’s incredibly versatile. Most grocers you can buy it at ~$1.50/kg

Flour - It may be time consuming, but it’s so much cheaper, and more rewarding, to make your own bread. Again it’s about $1/kg, sometimes less, and it’s generally worth it. You can store it up to a year and there’s so much you can do with it.

Eggs - Meat can be expensive, but to go without protein is a dangerous thing. They’re not too expensive, but probably the most expensive item on the list, generally around $4 for a dozen. You can eat them as is (after cooking of course) or use them in baking. They generally only last about a week before you have to start getting rid of them.

Sugar - Now this one isn’t an urgent ingredient that you need lots of, but it does help add a bit of that serotonin to your life, be it when you make a sweet loaf, add a bit to your tea, who knows. It’s generally handy to have some on hand.

Optional Extras

Bananas - If you’ve got room in the budget for more, try and get some Bananas. I know my local green grocer sells bananas which are almost overripe and pretty much only good for baking for 50c/kg when he’s got excess. I snatch ‘em up like hotcakes and make smoothies, banana bread, ice cream…. there’s so much you can do with Bananas.

Carrots - Carrots are amazing and oh-so-cheap. 80c-$1/kg, and you can chop them up to snack on, roast them, boil & mash them, grate them, carrot cake…

Oranges - I cannot express how good Oranges are for you, and they keep quite a while as well. Now making your own orange juice will chew through your supply, I wouldn’t recommend it, but slice up half an orange and take it with you to classes or work.

Onions - Not as versatile as some of the other foods I’ve mentioned but if you’ve got an extra dollar, they can help add some flavour. Fry up an onion in some oil and add it to your eggs perhaps, use it in a rice dish… It generally just helps add flavour.

Potatoes - Potatoes are something you can buy in massive bulk, which like carrots you can use in so many ways. Their shelf life is incredible but for the love of god do not store them with your onions. They go off so much faster, which you can tell when they start sprouting!

Garlic - Long shelf life and though your friends may not appreciate your breath, you can’t pass up some good old garlic bread. I’m sure there’s more you can do with it but that’s all I can think of at the moment…. mmm garlic bread.

Honey - With an infinite shelf life, it’s perfect to drizzle over almost anything for a sweet treat.

Other thoughts, if you have the space in your home for vertical/wall herb garden, something small, that’ll generally put you back at most $50 total for the pots, soil, plants, and hooks (be it for a wall or railing), but to invest in some hard-to-kill herbs like rosemary, oregano, and mint, can add something special to your dishes.

For what to do with these ingredients that I’ve listed, follow @cook-n-tell for more recipes, tips & tricks.

Also a massive thank you to my friend Baccano for helping me bounce ideas and come up with others for this post.

caspar: what is that music?

leif: i'm teaching peter to breakdance.

caspar: y- you're teaching the robot to breakdance while i'm telling you about my problems?

leif: i'm also trying to hack into norad while you're telling me about your problems. i can multitask!

adhd king

There’s a disturbing lack of agriculture content here.

The Blues Brothers (1980)

maybe the real northwest passage is the friends we ate along the way