Things Women Created And Discovered!

This argument is so frustrating to me, as someone who has also experienced both CSA and SA as a teen and adult.

With every other form of trauma, we know there’s a tendency to continue to try and replay the bad experience to see if it’ll be different this time. We also know that tendency is harmful because while it feels good to give into that temptation, it’s ultimately reinforcing the trauma in your mind and prolonging it’s ability to have a hold on you.

However that principle is suddenly forgotten when it comes to sexual trauma, I guess because of the “don’t kink shame” thing (which is a stupid rule to have because it leaves no room for nuance. I don’t care if your kink is rubbing ice cubes on your skin for temperature play, that has no risk. However some things do have risk and that’s why I criticize them).

Continuing to trigger your sexual trauma over and over again is only feeding the cycle. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I know this from my own experiences in my teens. It’s a compulsion that needs to be starved off, and it can be very difficult to do that, but it’s what will ultimately help you move on, instead of just being stuck in a cycle of constant triggering to “desensitize” yourself. However I also know when your trauma is severe enough, you don’t really want to move on, so I wonder if they know deep down that they’re only prolonging this limbo, but they’re afraid of what’s outside of it.

I can’t excuse knowingly feeding into the cesspool of abuse that is pornography, however. If you truly feel you need this to process, at least try and find it through erotic writing or other forms that don’t have a risk of the person you’re getting off to actually being abused in real life.

wait so you're a rape victim and you actively support an industry that RAPES women? what kind-of mental disconnect is that? putting rape into the mainstream media sure as hell doesn't help with trauma but rather facilitates more of it. hot take but YOU just made a very uniformed take.

1) This is disturbing and I feel so sorry for this poor couple

2) Stealing lingerie, underwear, or even sexual toys is a huge pattern among TIMs. I remember a male ex I had (before I realized I was a Lesbian) telling me this story of a friend of a friend. This man was “experimenting with his sexuality/gender” and would continually steal his mother’s dildos to fuck himself in the ass with, not even using condoms as a barrier, and then putting it back, and eventually she found out and just let him have it. (I have no issue with anal if that’s what you want to do so don’t get me wrong, but it does have a higher risk of bacterial contamination so extra cleaning and/or protection needs to be involved)

And I had a surprised and disgusted reaction to this, obviously, and he accused me of being transphobic and got pretty upset about that. At the time I wasn’t even a radfem but the idea of people stealing intimate items that touch genitals, and especially returning them so they can be re-used unknowingly by the original owner, is just really gross and inappropriate? I don’t really care what it is or what your purpose of doing so is, unless you’re a 10 year old girl who was jokingly putting on her mom’s bra while doing the laundry, it’s incredibly disgusting. And I see stories of that happening over and over again, and I just feel really bad for their poor mothers and sisters because that has to feel like an incredible violation of privacy.

Male secretly abuses his lesbian sister's clothing for god fucking knows how long...... This is so disgusting I don't even know what to say here. (link)

Men: why do women think we equate sex with violence? Why do women think we equate penetration with punishment or humiliation?

Men: SUCK MY COCK, GET RAPED, CHOKE ON MY NUTS, I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER

Men: i just don't get why they'd think that... unless maybe it's because they secretly *want* sexual violence... maybe they're upset because they can't stop thinking about my donger

No this feeling is so crazy bc I will love something so much that I can’t see fanart/read fanfiction about it because any divorce from the cannon will feel like a betrayal and also a reminder that they aren’t real people 😭😭 I refuse to touch it or change it, I just keep it behind glass and stare at it with big eyes until my obsession fades a bit and I can enjoy it normally again. Also I am aware this makes me sound mentally ill, it is in fact because I am mentally ill, and unfortunately cannot change that about myself 😭💀

reaching the point of hyperfixation where I can no longer engage with it due to the nausea that I experience at the mere thought of seeing it on my screen is the closest I’ve ever been to being diagnosed with female hysteria

are you lesbian because you like femineity or because you like pussy and boobs?

Neither. I’m a lesbian because I’m a woman who loves women and womanhood in general. It would be ironic for me to be a lesbian for femininity considering I’m a butch, as well as the history of non-conforming lesbians. I’m currently in a butchfemme dynamic (surprise, those who’ve been watching me pine for a gf for the last months lol) but femininity is an ever changing and arbitrary social construct, therefore irrelevant to me, so it’s not the basis by which I form my sexuality.

I also do find breasts and female genitalia attractive, and also important for the particular types of sex I like to have, so idk if that answers your question there 🤷 but my preferences extends farther than just that, both physically and psychologically. My femme looks like Kate Bush and is a fellow pagan, for instance, two things I find pretty attractive.

Radical feminism, centering women, and worshipping female deities really turned my life around FAST because what do you mean my constant mental health problems are slowly alleviating, I’m making new female friends, I’ve finally left behind the toxic male friends, I’ve applied to and gotten my first management position, I’m gaining weight and muscle, and I’m talking to a lovely beautiful femme all within this year so far. Like I know radical feminism covers very serious issues too and politically life kind of sucks, but life really is beautiful as well when you center women and female-ness among the chaos. I love rad feminism and I love lesbianism.

Wild how everyone who criticises gender critical feminism just misrepresents it entirely???

They’re like ‘oh TERFs think that gender is a social construct made to oppress women based on their sex and keep them subservient … so naturally they must believe that womanhood is all about giving birth and being feminine’ UGHHHH

I don’t doubt Chappel’s attraction to women, it does seem genuine, but I do wonder if she’s bi and just frustrated with men, and for valid reason. She does have bipolar disorder (she hasn’t talked about it recently to my awareness but she did a while back), and stuff like bipolar, BPD, OCD, etc can make it really hard to figure out what’s your actual sexuality and what’s societal pressure, or what you’re convincing yourself you like, or what’s stuff you’ve been told you should like or dislike, and it can be really confusing, especially while you’re in the spotlight constantly.

I mostly just feel bad for her and hope she can unlearn some of this stuff and get to a better place.

Who actually believes this wattpad ass story

I want to kiss my girlfriend, in public, without fear. (ca. 1980)

Ughhhh I’m working on a longer piece about the presence of patriarchy/rape culture in the LGBTQ community (and I know a lot of you are separatists, and I also am, but since it’s socially considered a community we all get lumped in together, hence the problems I’m talking about)

But anyway I’ve been stewing over it for like 2 weeks and thinking of what I want to say but there’s just so much it’s hard to figure out how to lay it all out in a way that makes sense and flows well so people will actually want to stick around and read the whole thing 😭😭 send help