Thinking About How Almost Every Revolution In History Came In Two Waves, One With The Force Necessary

No this feeling is so crazy bc I will love something so much that I can’t see fanart/read fanfiction about it because any divorce from the cannon will feel like a betrayal and also a reminder that they aren’t real people 😭😭 I refuse to touch it or change it, I just keep it behind glass and stare at it with big eyes until my obsession fades a bit and I can enjoy it normally again. Also I am aware this makes me sound mentally ill, it is in fact because I am mentally ill, and unfortunately cannot change that about myself 😭💀

reaching the point of hyperfixation where I can no longer engage with it due to the nausea that I experience at the mere thought of seeing it on my screen is the closest I’ve ever been to being diagnosed with female hysteria

Type shit

This argument is so frustrating to me, as someone who has also experienced both CSA and SA as a teen and adult.

With every other form of trauma, we know there’s a tendency to continue to try and replay the bad experience to see if it’ll be different this time. We also know that tendency is harmful because while it feels good to give into that temptation, it’s ultimately reinforcing the trauma in your mind and prolonging it’s ability to have a hold on you.

However that principle is suddenly forgotten when it comes to sexual trauma, I guess because of the “don’t kink shame” thing (which is a stupid rule to have because it leaves no room for nuance. I don’t care if your kink is rubbing ice cubes on your skin for temperature play, that has no risk. However some things do have risk and that’s why I criticize them).

Continuing to trigger your sexual trauma over and over again is only feeding the cycle. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I know this from my own experiences in my teens. It’s a compulsion that needs to be starved off, and it can be very difficult to do that, but it’s what will ultimately help you move on, instead of just being stuck in a cycle of constant triggering to “desensitize” yourself. However I also know when your trauma is severe enough, you don’t really want to move on, so I wonder if they know deep down that they’re only prolonging this limbo, but they’re afraid of what’s outside of it.

I can’t excuse knowingly feeding into the cesspool of abuse that is pornography, however. If you truly feel you need this to process, at least try and find it through erotic writing or other forms that don’t have a risk of the person you’re getting off to actually being abused in real life.

wait so you're a rape victim and you actively support an industry that RAPES women? what kind-of mental disconnect is that? putting rape into the mainstream media sure as hell doesn't help with trauma but rather facilitates more of it. hot take but YOU just made a very uniformed take.

Lol has someone been spying on my last relationship 😭😭

women say “i don’t want to do that because it feels degrading” based on an instinctive gut reaction to being degraded and people are like “noooo you just feel like it’s degrading because of society” i’ve had gut reactions to degradation since i was a kid. it is not society lol it is my body sending me a warning signal

people who hate on vi except when shes living her whole life slaving away for jinx and jinx’s well-being and being 100% selfless constantly is. interesting.

interesting bc i’m the oldest sister in my family and that’s exactly what my parents expect of me.

how odd and silly that some people continue to parentify older sisters and refuse to care about them as characters when they aren’t constantly putting their sibling first.

that’s how i feel whenever i see a post about how vi’s character was completely sacrificed and then the explanation is all abt how she chose caitlyn and not jinx for the nth time.

Took me forever to get to this 😭

Favorite Color: I like all of them tbh and it’s constantly changing but my current favorites are darker tones of red and blue

Currently reading: Nothing 💀 dyslexia is a bitch so I haven’t started any books recently. Something I’d really like to read is The Anarchist Cookbook tho

Last Song: “Cherry-Coloured Funk” by Cocteau Twins

Last Movie: Porco Rosso, Studio Ghibli

Last Series: Arcane

Sweet, Savory, Spicy: Savory, I love spice but I have to be particular what I use or my brain just registers it as pain instead of a flavor :(

Craving: Don’t have any bc I’m always nauseous when I get colds. I’m craving for the cold to be over lol

Tea/Coffee: Apple Juice

Currently working on:

-Developing a plot and atmosphere for several lesbian paranormal/fantasy novels/Novellas I’ve been working on

-Making sustainable eco-friendly knickknacks for my house once I move out in a few months (making baskets from recycled materials, cleaning rags from old clothes, grocery bags from old tshirts, etc)

-My battle jacket, I finished the political patches and I need to make the band patches and also get my hands on some spikes

-In a similar vein, I want to diy some of those spikey bracelet things but obv I also need spikes for those

rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @indrid-hot - thanks a bunch!

Favorite Color: A nice, warm, sunny orange - but also honestly most other colors of the rainbow and then some.

Currently Reading: The Tevinter Nights Dragon Age short story collection.

Last Song: L'appuntamento - Ornella Vanoni

Last Movie: Ah, gosh. HM. I haven't watched anything that's not a TV show in a while. I semi-voluntarily caught the last fifteen minutes of Scrooged over the winter holidays I guess?

Last Series: Last series I watched any part of is, as always, "Emergency!" because I will never not be stuck in 70's paramedic hell. If we're talking new-to-me shows, a friend's making me watch Grey's Anatomy (early seasons) once a week, probably because observing my growing despair about the characters' poor life choices is fun. I don't even normally watch medical shows, and yet here we are lol

Sweet, Savoury, Spicy: Savory if I had to pick

Craving: Some good spaghetti with olive oil and obscene amounts of lightly toasted garlic.

Tea/Coffee: Yes please, lol

Currently working on: OH BOY WHAT A QUESTION.

Spinning: Gotland on my spindles (4-ply, one single per spindle, for funsies - except I accidentally mixed up which bits of fiber go with which single on which spindle, so that'll be fun to sort out...), 7oz/200g of red Merino on the wheel (for a crochet hat, followed by 9.5 oz of red and black Merino for a woven scarf). But also 24.5oz/700g of grey Merino. And cotton on the supported spindle. And I've got some laceweight viscose on the mini turkish spindle that I should really work on...

Crocheting: Half a dozen things, including a lacy collar that needs buttons and blocking, a gigantic star-shaped wrap-around shawl, an incredibly boring granny square top for my little sister, and too many others to count.

Art: The Emergency! tarot as the eternal never-ending WIP; I also have some Dragon Age Veilguard related plans revolving around the Grand Necropolis and irl Catacomb Saints and I'd love to get some DA-style tarot cards done for all my player characters.

Writing: I still have a couple unfinished fanfics that need another chapter, as well as two deeply self-indulgent OC/Emergency! crossovers that friends are making me write, and I also have some Dragon Age stuff in the works - though if anyone will ever see that is another question entirely.

Music: Practicing various stuff for LARP; also slowly chipping away at Hozier's Work Song because my partner asked nicely.

With no pressure, I will tag: @geminyde, @caseyscraftycorner, @swords-n-spindles, @alpacazappa, @rosesonneptune, @rose-of-pollux, @zooarchaeologyatdinner, @kalikatze aaaaand I can't decide on a 9th person to tag so whoever wants to do this: You're It!

i hope whoever came up with the trend of calling attractive women "mommy" is in the depts of hell right now

I’m currently on dating apps and have been very frustrated to find out how true this is. The amount of, “Just a doggy with no brain :3 I want to be tied up and then jacked off UwU” transfemmes I’ve come across is crazy. And I’m not on kink apps, just the usual (Hinge, Bumble, HER, I’m not even on tinder). It’s also really frustrating because I already have the fact that I’m not kink friendly in my bio so I wish they’d stop liking my profile and leaving odd messages.

I’ve also gotten a lot of trans men? Despite the fact I have “lesbian” in my bio, which confuses me because if you believe yourself a man, and I am a person only attracted to women, wouldn’t that make you feel invalid?? Confuses me.

Just an observation. Why are such a significant amount of trans people (specifically TIMs) so engrossed in fetishes? Why is ‘puppygirl brat transfem’ so common? I’m supposed to believe it isn’t a fetish for 75% of them when the most popular trans-identified creators on twitter and tiktok post fetish shit. And I wondered this when I was a TRA too.

Omg this is it, this is who I want to be all summed up lol

butch as in, “here let me get that for you.”

butch as in, I help all my friends move.

butch as in, “of course I’ll be the DD.”

butch as in, I walk on the outside of the sidewalk.

butch as in, “thank you, baby.”

butch as in, I’m the advice friend.

butch as in, “do you need help?”

butch as in, I’m active in my community.

butch as in, “say that again, I dare you.”

butch as in, I’m a jack of all trades.

butch as in, “will you stay?”

butch as in, a shoulder to lean on.

butch as in, “I can fix that.”

butch as in, I’ll pump your gas and check your oil.

butch as in, “I’d love to make you dinner.”

inspired by @femmefruit :)

And then people try to claim that it’s because being sapphic is “normalized in media” —you mean porn?? Being fetishized is not the same as being accepted, and it’s still incredibly dangerous. Sure maybe some men will ask you for a threesome and then get grumpy when you refuse and leave it at that (which is still sexual harassment) but many other times they get violent when you don’t fulfill their fantasies. Or they try corrective rape.

The real reason this happens is because our collective understanding of sexuality is phallocentric and a lot of people cannot fathom a healthy and fulfilling relationship between two women. Somehow a dick needs to be involved in some way.

Additionally, in terms of actual media, it is in general more accepted to be a homosexual man and gay men get more time, better story development, and way more attention from fans, as a general group.

You know how sometimes people act like homophobia toward women barely exists? I feel like that definitely plays into the way people act toward bisexual women vs men. Like men are oh so brave for coming out as bisexual and braving homophobia to be true to themselves and why would they lie about it when he could have saved face and stay closeted until he dated a man, how brave. vs with women it's like why would she even come out if she's not dating a woman, she's probably faking it for the clout (no mention of bravery for risking homophobia)