I’m Not Really Understanding What U Mean By This? I’m Not Running My Blog To Trauma Dump My Life’s

Women do not need to be in fear of harm or harassment to want a space to themselves.

This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot with the whole women’s only gym nightmare argument the past couple weeks. So much of it is focused on a back and forth of whether or not women are actually in much danger, and I’m going to go even more woke and say I think the danger is actually irrelevant to this question.

We shouldn’t have to prove that we’re terrified of being assaulted, shouldn’t have to cry and break down into an anxiety attack on camera as we relive our trauma to prove we deserve a space for ourselves. If we put our time and effort into building spaces for ourselves in this stupid fucking patriarchal world, we’re allowed to keep it solely for the reasoning of wanting to keep it. That’s enough.

The sense of entitlement towards women’s work genuinely needs to be studied.

I know there are a lot of complaints about the “Not Like other girls” era of books aimed at women, some I disagree with, some I don’t. But I’m rereading one of those types of books right now (technically re-listening bc I’m using an audiobook but same idea) which I absolutely adored the first time I read, and honestly I kind of miss that time period.

Like sure it was reductionist at times, but at least the women were unabashedly themselves and pushed back against gender stereotypes. This book is set in a fantasy past based off of Medieval Germany (from what I can tell) and with that obviously comes the sexism of the period, and she had actually realistic feelings on the matter. She thinks about how she wishes she’s a boy because she wants to have a career, specifically a farrier or a hunter, and criticizes the fact that she’s living in a society in which her value is through marriage. She’s practical minded, she looks up to her father and male relatives because she wants the freedom they have, but also feels a sense of displacement and disgust from them because of their sexism, and in general just has so much more energy as a character than I often see in more mainstream books now. And she’s STILL a woman and eventually finds her power as a woman.

Idk this is just a personal pet peeve of mine but I don’t like our current idea of rejecting surface level femininity = rejecting womanhood, either positively or negatively. On the one side you get shamed for it because you’re a pick me, on the other side you get told you’re just a man. And it’s made characters really really bland.

(Also maybe I just am the problem, idk, but I have had the experience of feeling left out and not like my female peers growing up because they were content to uphold patriarchal ideals and I wasn’t. I still put up a good effort when it came to talking about crushes and doing all the fun sorts of “girly” things they liked, but I had trouble finding anyone who reciprocated that energy towards me when I wanted to talk about my interests that didn’t necessarily fall into that category. So imo there is a kernel of truth in the “not like other girls” stereotype, not because other girls are INHERENTLY bad, but because of how our current societal pressures work on young girls.)

“All the gays want is to groom my children! They are dangerous to kids! They hate children!”

- A lesbian saw your son struggling, and remembered what it was like to be young and autistic and overwhelmed by her emotions, so she sat down with him every day and helped him until his feelings wasn’t so scary anymore.

- A lesbian was the one who your daughter finally trusted enough to reveal the abuse she was going through by her father when she was at his house and she tried her best to get her help and always be a safe space for her.

- A lesbian overheard your daughter being told by her classmates that she couldn’t play dolls because the dolls weren’t of her race, so she went and bought a dozen barbies of all different races to show her that she belonged.

- A lesbian was the one who you knew you could count on to retrieve your babies when you let people pass them around at church. You knew that she’d keep an eye on them even if she didn’t know you personally. Everyone in that tiny church knew her for it.

- A lesbian defended your son from being harassed on the bus (by other mothers!) and was late to work making sure he was safely on his next bus heading to the food bank.

- A lesbian was your waiter today and she made your baby laugh while she was setting your table and she already knew how to keep all the dangerous items out of reach without you even having to ask.

All anecdotes I could pull off of the top of my head from my own life. I love children, while I don’t want any of my own (and can’t even have ‘em due to infertility anyway) and my connection with them is very odd as a butch lesbian woman. People tell me that my purpose in life as a woman is to have children, and people from the same demographic claim that I only exist to hurt their children. The reality is that, whether you like it or not, gay people exist in the real world and often take on beloved and pivotal roles in your life and your children’s lives that you don’t even realize. We’re here and we always have been, and we’re surprisingly just as normal and human as you are.

The terfbreaking tag is the perfect example of why TIMs are dangerous in women's spaces. It's just male fantasies about raping and sexually degrading women they disagree with. And that's what men do. They see a woman they don't like? They immediately come up with some kind of sexual debasement in their minds because to them that's enough to reduce and dismiss her. They use their sexuality as a weapon against women. And that's what TIMs do on here and call it progressive.

Lol has someone been spying on my last relationship 😭😭

women say “i don’t want to do that because it feels degrading” based on an instinctive gut reaction to being degraded and people are like “noooo you just feel like it’s degrading because of society” i’ve had gut reactions to degradation since i was a kid. it is not society lol it is my body sending me a warning signal

Girl why you calling yourself bitch

It’s a reclamation thing for me, same reason I call myself a dyke. I am one, according to social standards of female behavior, I’m loud and opinionated, I take up space, I express my hatred for people and things without apology. The slur loses its power if I call myself it first, and with affection. I like being a bitch and a dyke, and being unlikeable to men and women who uphold the patriarchal system. I like the freedom it gives me to be an undeniably mean lesbian.

Also I’m punk and we do have a history of using strong language to get people’s attention lol

How do I explain the amazing feeling of watching a new piece of media that represents something I am, and then the subsequent despair when people associate that group ONLY with that character.

I want to kiss my girlfriend, in public, without fear. (ca. 1980)

Literally fixed my mental health by so much 😭😭 I didn’t realize how much forcing attraction to men was weighing me down and causing me to be out of touch with a lot of the rest of my personality because I would be constantly questioning my likes/dislikes. Now I just exist as myself and it’s amazing.

realizing I was a lesbian literally felt like this

A woman: So I recently developed ovarian cancer & I could sure use someone to talk to about it

Trancels on Tumblr: Um this is kinda problematic sweetie. Trans women dont have ovaries & ur sure being cissexist when u bring them up. Bringing up the cancer u have in an organ that’s exclusive to females is transphobic & by trying to discuss a womens’ issue youre basically saying you want all trans women to DIE, so uh…