I Think Edward Elric Entire Military Experience Can Be Summarized As John Mulaney’s “horse Loose

Once when the gaang visits the Fire Nation, they’re all just on the side of too tipsy when Zuko leans in with the most grave expression imaginable.

“Aang,” Zuko says, “This has been… haunting me…. Why did your friends need to suck on those frogs?”

And Aang just gasps, and does not explain the frogs, because he has suddenly remembered that Miyuki is still wanted by the Fire Nation and that just won’t do. So Aang demands that Zuko pardon Miyuki for her crimes, which then gets the rest of the gaang to dogpile on and also demand justice for Miyuki. 

Zuko is willing to hear him out. 

…Zuko is significantly less willing to hear him out when Aang mentions that Miyuki is a cat.

(Zuko finds it difficult to believe that a cat is legitimately wanted by the Fire Nation)

But because they are all the worst, he relents and they all drunkenly stumble down to go find the records of Miyuki’s crimes and write her up a pardon, much to the chagrin of the night-shift archivist.

Tigerclaw and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Senior Warrior Position AU

In a world where deputies can only be named after their first apprentice has been granted their warrior name, Tigerclaw struggles to keep an apprentice alive long enough to earn their name.

or, a comedy-tragedy AU in which having an apprentice isn't enough — you have to see them to their warrior name, and Tigerclaw cannot fucking get any of his goddamn apprentices to live, damn it.

—

It starts out mostly normally, except for the fact that Tigerclaw hasn't gotten any apprentices to their warrior name, and he needs that so he can accomplish his (very noble, of course) kitty genocide goals. And also be the supreme leader of the world or something. Darkpaw died stupidly, he hasn't had a chance since, and now he's got some tiny thing that's afraid of his own shadow.

Well. It'll have to do.

So naturally this man is so protective over Ravenpaw that Ravenpaw barely even leaves his sight. Firepaw and Graypaw think that this is adorable. Look how much Tigerclaw cares about his apprentice!!

Ravenpaw, of course, is fucking terrified and also slowly losing his mind, just in a different way.

—

"Redtail assigned us to go on a patrol to Snakerocks." "OH NO HE DID NOT. WE'RE STAYING IN THE SANDY HOLLOW WHERE IT'S SAFE."

"Nothing matters more to me than making you a warrior, Ravenpaw. Nothing." And the terrible thing is that Ravenpaw is sure he's being sincere.

—

Ravenpaw disappears and Tigerclaw nearly fucking has a conniption because the timing was all RIGHT and he was going to finally get the position AND HE NEVER GOT HIS DAMN NAME FUCK.

"Do you think I could convince the elders that Fireheart was my apprentice?" "Fireheart was Bluestar's apprentice, as approved by StarClan. You're going to have to wait for the next litter to be apprenticed."

So he begs and begs and gets Cinderpaw and then she accidentally falls into the trap he'd set for a better deputy candidate at the Thunderpath. Fuck.

—

Well. Time to resort to drastic measures.

"I was thinking that Darkstripe would have been a good name. Because he had dark stripes." "Again, Tigerclaw, it's admirable that you loved your apprentice so much, but I cannot grant him a name." "Are you sure?" "Honestly, Tigerclaw, I'm not sure he ever would have gotten a name. Missing quite a few feathers from his nest, that one..." Fuck. The worst part was that she wasn't even wrong.

— Swiftpaw and Brightpaw get mauled by the dogs he set up to happen like right after he got the title and they sprang it before and he's like FUCK NOW WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE DAMN DOGS? His world domination plans literally never come to fruition because he cannot keep his apprentices alive/in the clan/his own.

— "Brightheart counts. She HAS to count." "Actually, Cloudtail took over her training…" [demented noises]

—

Turns out that Ravenpaw is alive and no one — no one — in the Harper Collins Extended Universe is happier than Tigerclaw.

"You're alive! …You deserve your warrior name!" "Actually, I've come to peace with my name and my way of life. I have no need for a—" "GET YOUR FUCKING NAME RIGHT NOW RAVENPAW OR SO HELP ME STARCLAN—" "I know you really wanted Ravenpaw to become a warrior," Barley says gently, "but he's made his decision. It's very kind of you to acknowledge that he deserves it, though. You must have been so close as mentor and apprentice." Tigerclaw's eye twitches. "Yes. Close. Very... close." —

He finally, finally retires as an elder after his plans go absolutely nowhere for years on end. And maybe StarClan is still like "Brambleclaw would be chill actually, we can forget that pesky little law" and Tigerclaw is sitting there like "excuse me what the actual fuck?" —

But at this point Tigerclaw is about as dangerous as Ashfur without a freak forest fire. Which is to say about as dangerous as using a leaf as a weapon. Which is, incidentally, how Darkpaw managed to get himself killed in the first place.

—

"Is this the Dark Forest? This has to be the Dark Forest. It doesn't look like Thistleclaw described it, but it must be. This Clan is all an elaborate punishment meted down by StarClan for my sins." "Tigerclaw, sir, I'm just here to help you with your ticks. See? I have the mousebile right here." "…Yes, thank you, Alderpaw." — Graystripe joins him in the elder's den and he's like, "You know, Ravenpaw thought you were up to some… scheme, back in the day. Crazy, right? You've been a model Clanmate as long as I've been alive." [muffled screaming] "Huh, what do you think that is? It sounds almost like someone killed a rabbit, but they know not to come this close to camp…"

"The Forest"

An illustration I painted and turned into an animated gif. This was very tedious but I like how it turned out.

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood - Created by Mona Finden

i need all fat people who want top surgery to know you are not too fat for top surgery. a competent surgeon and anesthesiologist team will make things work for you regardless of your size. if one doctor gives you shit about your weight or bmi or outright refuses to operate on you, get a second opinion. go to a second doctor. go to a third doctor. go to a million doctors until you get what you want. the dual combo of fatphobia and transphobia in medicine cannot keep us down. you do not need to be skinny to change your body how you want to change it. you do not need to be skinny for top surgery.

hey guys guess what

Aesthetically Pleasing Anime Movies

The mentions below are a combination of beautiful visuals animation movies that had captured an immediate attention due to its fresh and appealing color choices and drawing-styles; yet, still intrigued the audience with a unique plot. Before you check out the list, keep in mind that I did not forget any of Studio Ghibli productions. I think every project in Ghibli is so special that I feel I need to make a separate post, don’t you agree? Plus, I want to give a shout-out to other animes. Some are extremely underrated and need much more love and appreciation!  ❤️  this and enjoy~ 

Hirune Hime: Shiranai Watashi no Monogatari /  Ancien and the Magic Tablet (2017)

Digimon Adventure tri. 4: Soushitsu / Digimon Adventure tri. Loss (2017)

Uchiage Hanabi, Shita kara Miru ka? Yoko kara Miru ka? / Fireworks, Should We See it from the Side or the Bottom? (2017)

Zutto Mae kara Suki deshita.: Kokuhaku Jikkou Iinkai / I’ve Always Liked You (2016)

Koe no Katachi /  A Silent Voice (2016)

Kono Sekai no Katasumi ni /  In This Corner of the World (2016)

Kimi no Na wa /  Your Name (2016)

Hana to Alice: Satsujin Jiken / The Case of Hana & Alice (2015)  

Kokoro ga Sakebitagatterunda / Anthem of the Heart (2015)

Sarusuberi: Miss Hokusai (2015)

Giovanni no Shima / Giovanni’s Island (2014)

Inari, Konkon, Koi Iroha / Inari, Konkon, ABCs of Love (2014)

Tamako Love Story (2014)

Kotonoha no Niwa /  The Garden of Words (2013)

Buki yo Saraba / A Farewell to Arms (2013)

Hal (2013)

Kaguya-hime no Monogatari / The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (2013)

Ookami Kodomo no Ame to Yuki / Wolf Children (2012)

Nerawareta Gakuen /  Psychic School Wars (2012)

Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai / Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day (2011)

Hotarubi no Mori e /  Into the Forest of Fireflies’ Light (2011)

Hoshi wo Ou Kodomo / Children Who Chase Lost Voices (2011)

Momo e no Tegami / A Letter to Momo (2011)

“Bungaku Shoujo” Movie / Book Girl, Literature Girl (2010)

Summer Wars (2009)

Byousoku 5 Centimeter /  5 Centimeters Per Second (2007)

Paprika (2006)

Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo /  The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006)

Tekkon Kinkreet (2006)

Bonus: A 15 one-minute shorts created by various people from Japan’s animation industry. Be prepared to indulge in 3 seasons of masterworks. 

Ani*Kuri15 (2007)

scale of 1-10 how much do you love me

100/10, we’re getting married after all