Rules For (My) Subs

Rules for (My) Subs

I have a list of rules to keep subs safe. These are somewhat inspired by my rules for me. These are to help you understand what I expect from my subs and what I think is important.

You are a whole person. You do not need to be completed. You have your own life and while I'm glad you're choosing to live it with me, you are allowed and encouraged to have parts that are just yours.

You are a Good Girl. Not because I said so but because you choose to be. I cannot take that from you. It is yours and only yours.

The door is always open. You can leave whenever you want and, more importantly, you can come back whenever you want. My love is not a prison and your peace is not a sin.

You can give up every power but this: You get the final say. I can do anything you'll let me do, but you decide if I'm your Dom, if I'm worth trusting and obeying. You get to revoke my authority, to say no, to stop everything. You don't need an excuse. You don't have to have an explanation ready. If you say stop, we stop.

Tell me what you want. Sometimes, that thing you want is a need that isn't being met. Tell me. I need to know and I want to help.

Be compassionate, kind and understanding, especially with yourself. You will make mistakes. You will have bad days, failures and setbacks. Take a breath, give yourself the benefit of the doubt, reflect and do better next time. Allow others to do the same.

Walk your own path. You cannot be anyone but you. Don't compare yourself to others or let jealousy or despair creep in. You are only competing with yourself and your goal is to be a little better each day.

Don't take criticism from anyone you wouldn't go to for advice. It is important for us to hold each other accountable because it helps us grow closer together rather than apart. But not everyone is worthy of your consideration. Cling to those who love and support you, but cleave from those who do not.

No one can be your everything, not even me. Nurture the relationships that nourish you. Have conversations, hobbies, times and places to laugh and cry and let yourself be every facet of you. Strong roots make for strong trees and strong forests. When you find your place, don't be afraid to make it yours.

Love yourself. This is the hardest one, so make sure you practice. It the process of taking care of yourself, advocating for yourself and accepting that you are worthy of a good and happy life. When the good times come, accept them. When the bad times come, hold my hand and know they will pass. This is the great work of all my Good Girls.

You're not going to follow these rules perfectly all the time, but they are here for you to strive for. More importantly, no one worthy of your trust should object to them. There more generic rules like "Respect boundaries" and more specific ones like "Make sure a friend knows who you're with, where you're going and when to expect you back," but these ten should give you a good foundation and litmus test if you're looking for a partner.