HOW THE MORTALS DO

This is a Tumblr hug! Pass it on to your ten favorite followers and mutuals ✨💞

HI THANK YOU !!! <3 <3 i don't rly know anyone here so i think i know who this is?? just know yall are free to talk to me anytime, i'd love to make a few friends here ;w;

concept: malewife childe. he gets tired of being far away from you on missions & leaves his position as a harbinger to become a house husband. imagine waking up on a lazy morning and trudging to the kitchen to see him cooking breakfast in a pink apron with nothing underneath. u smack his ass and say good morning and he holds up a piece of bacon to your mouth, so you take a bite, but he kisses you and steals it back- (ok, this started out as a joke to clown on childe but idk if im joking anymore)

!!! Domestic malewife Childe!!!!

Sweet house husband Childe who learns how to cook your favorite food, who knows how cold or warm you prefer to keep the house, lighting a fire in the hearth or opening the windows accordingly <3 akjdsnak bRuh domestic Childe would be sooo sweet because even if he's retired, he's obvs still loaded from his days as a harbinger, so you two can live comfortably!! He'd buy such sweet heartfelt gifts aksjdnkajsn

AND THE THING w the apron and the holding up the piece of bacon for u to eat–– aksjdnskj. A DREAM <#3

This started out as a joke, but bestie I don't think it's a joke anymore––

imagine mista intentionally dropping things so he can bend over and show off his massive earthquake causing ass to you like the cheeky bastard he is like "whoOp,,my bulletsghdf,,,it fell,,UhoH guess i have to GET it," no you thot you did that on purpose now stay still and let me smack that oversized wagon of yours hold on lemme get my strap

lmao lksjgkljsd8uj the entire way you wrote this ask is perfect and i have nothing to add except: you’re right

Hi, so this has just been floating around my head all day long and I need to share it with someone.

So, like, the Traveller comes from another world, right? Right. We all know this. But like??? No one ever said what world they came from. And, moreover, they never said what era that world was in, right? Like, even if time travel wasn't involved, I imagine that different universes progress differently, right? So basically, where I'm going with this, is imagine a traveler who's just... A gen z or millenial. And they just make all sorts of meme references constantly and no one knows what the FUCK they're talking about. Like:

Traveler: Beesechurger.

Kaeya, a little drunk and crying: What does that mEAN?!

--

Traveler: Look at all those chickens!

Diluc: For the last time, those are pigeons.

--

Traveler: Why are we here? Just to suffer?

Jean: No we're having a meeting. Are you okay??

--

Traveler: Hey, Zhongli, how much Mora do you have?

Zhongli: Oh. Uhhh, 69.

Traveler: Oh! You know what that means!

Zhongli: It means I have 69 mora, I don't know what you want from me here.

And then, Venti, who knows just as much as the others, gets in on it and has the traveler teach him their ways bc he just thinks it's hilarious

hahahah! These had me rolling!!

Traveler: *Stares into the camera just deadpan* I sure hope it does

All other party members: .... WUT

--

anytime the traveler walks by the steps of Mondstadt: and they were roommates

Katherine, visibly concerned

--

Traveler: *whispering as they move toward a group of treasurer hoarders* Two bro’s chillin in the hot tub ...

Jean: ... there are more than two ... what is a hot tub?

CONGRATS ON 1K!!!! 💕💕 may I request 'what if I barked at you' with Kaeya pls 🥺👉👈 hope you'll have a great day!!! ✨✨✨

bark at you

pairing — kaeya x reader

a/n — let me add a little bit of spice

warnings — suggestive

[ 1k followers event ]

Diluc on a horse 🏇

xiao whenever he uses his idle dialogue

⭒ childe/reader: killshot ⭒

oh god, can you make my heart stop?

hit me with your kill shot, baby.

i mean it, so serious.

- killshot, magdalena bay

⭒

this one’s for you killshot anon (blows you a kiss) thanks for the brainrot i haven’t been able to stop thinking about enemies to lovers childe for DAYS

⭒

pairing: childe/reader

characters: childe

genre: fluff?? idk what to classify this as

word count: 599

⭒

The sound of your weapon clattering to the ground is an all-too-familiar one. Getting tossed to the ground has you gasping, the impact knocking the breath out of you.

“I win.” His goading voice reaches your ringing ears. “Again.”

You’re not sure how many times this is now, but you expect what happens next; Childe’s towering figure casting your own crumpled one into shadow. Every time, you get better. Every time, you think you’ll finally win.

Yet, every time, the bastard manages to beat you, that damned smirk never leaving his stupid, stupid face.

He prowls ever closer, and you can feel the thumping of his boots through the floor.

Keep reading

Ilysm, just gotta start there. Have you ever considered insecure Bakugou? Kid grew up being the strongest and the best and now he's around equals he's low key scared he's not good enough. Got the biggest praise kink with his SO, tell him how much you liked watching his fight, how good he feels, how you want to kiss and lick at his tiddies and he's just gone. 🖤🧡🖤💥

So Bakugou unashamedly thinks he’s the best at everything, and even if he doesn’t think he’s the best at something he’ll still give his all regardless because Bakugou Katsuki doesn’t half ass anything.

It’s the times where he tries his hardest and fails when he feels most insecure. It inflates his ego to no end to hear praise from you. Whether it’s just you telling him what a good job he did at something or telling him he looks good today. He’ll usually brush it off with a “piss off” or “whatever, dumbass.” But really, those little comments from you can make his entire day, his heart beating fast.

The times when you’re alone together it’s a lot different. Bakugou accepts your compliments with less of a fight. Gentle caresses, fingers brushing his hair out of his eyes as you lean up to give him a sultry kiss. “You were so amazing today, Katsuki. So powerful.” You whisper against his lips and he’s gone, hands gripping your hips tight as he smashes his lips down on yours harder, fingers digging into your supple skin, sure to leave marks.

“Damn right I’m the best, Baby.” He says it in the hopes you’ll continue to compliment him. Stroking his ego further.

“I love when you wear this, you look so sexy.” Your fingers brushing against the tight material of his muscle shirt, running your fingers over his pecs. You can feel his nipples pebbling under the thin material, squeezing his pecs gently as you begin to kiss down his neck. Bakugou can’t help but smirk down at you, puffing out his chest slightly as you continue to rub your hands along it.

When Bakugou is jealous you’re in for a wild ride, he has no qualms about stepping in between you and a potential competitor, swearing at them with palms sparking as he drags you away. “Fucking pathetic extra-” Bakugou gets really annoyed with himself internally over his jealousy sometimes, regretting reacting so harshly and dragging you away, letting his temper get the better of him. Worried you’re going to get sick of his attitude and dump him, completely unaware that his behaviour is a huge turn on. Your words instantly reassuring him, making him feel better. “I don’t want anyone else, I only want you.”

Sometimes you don’t even make it as far as his/your room. Instead he tugs you into an empty classroom or quiet alley/hallway. Slamming you against the wall as he lowers his face to your own, “Do I have to remind you who the fuck you belong to?”

“No, Katsuki. I’m all yours.” Hearing those words give an even bigger stroke to his ego, his hands moving along your curves before they rest on your ass, bringing you closer to him.

“No one could make you feel like I make you feel,” Bakugou growls into your ear, slipping his fingers under your skirt to brush against your clothed slit.

“There’s no one better than you, ‘Suki.” Your words sending a pulsing heat straight to his cock.

THIS THREAD IS MAKING ME LOSE IT

(their twitter; their ao3)