You Know How It Is

it genuinely makes me sad and kinda upset when someone purges all their old art off the internet like. barring harmful content what if someone liked that. What if someone would have. And now nobody will ever know and it's just gone. even people's old invader zim askblogs or whatever getting deleted feels like a micro alexandria to me and that's just something I made up. I wasn't even thinking of a specific one it just stresses me out. Is this the autism I don't get why nobody else seems to freak internally abt it like I do. I see artists whose blogs I've never even looked at go like "man so glad I deleted all my old stuff it's so clean" or saying they throw out art from when they were kids I'm like. how are you not hurling. How is that not distressing that is literally your tree rings why would you do that. I want to see what's out there. people want to see it I promise someone out there likes it

...don't they??? Does everyone get quietly irrationally upset by this as me, or is this just hyperfixation/autism/some amalgam of the two. I'm not a hoarder or obsessive compulsive or anything like that so i wonder..

Anyways. reblog if you had a favorite amateur youtube animator in your childhood whose channel got nuked without a trace one day that you still think about.

LOOK AT HER!! ! LOOK AT HER SHES SO CUUUTE

NESSIE97 PRINCESS QUEST PONY EEEEEE

What about... mlp!vanessa

Vanessa except she's a pony, also heavily based on the Princess Quest minigame since I very much associate that with Vanessa lmao

I’m ready

Do you ever plan on doing a CPAU style comic with the Lucidia crew? Like a christmas party for the reapers?

that does sound tempting

then everyone can see what a bitch sage is

Worst doctor ever, he stabbed me in the back of the pizzaplex, what the hell

the first image is exactly how I feel when I make fnaf posts on this blog

yall dont GET IT. Glitchtrap is a purple parasite TOO (there are way more thematic similarities tho i should make a post about that for fun)

Forgot about this but here’s fursuku playing fnaf ruin

Ayo this post is FANTASTIC. I freaking love love love the implications and LAYERS that the Loveball/Timeparty RP events added to his character. HE'S SO INTERESTING. I will point out that the anger thing does seem to be related to learning friendship n stuff like that, here's a post by CQ that explains it.

Aaand if you want another Fresh fan going over what Fresh post-crisis would be like, here's a post I love!

OKAY SO THE FRESH ANALYSIS

ME DEARLY BELOVED FOLLOWERS, you probably started wondering why I like Fresh so much. Why I have been lovingly rotating him in my mind like a rotisserie chicken.

SO ANYWAYS I AM GOING TO DO MY BEST TO WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING I’VE READ ABOUT HIM. This is not complete simply because I haven’t read EVERYTHING on the old RP blog CQ ran for him. This is also mostly from the perspective of his character so other facts like Fresh using he/they pronouns and having furby bombs and canonically liking kissing (okay actually that does play into his character slightly) won’t be the primary focus of this analysis. This also, All, my own interpretation.

This analysis will be in three sections: His original characterization, his Monologue, and finally what could be inferred about how how his character changed due to the Event that gave us the Monologue.

His Original Characterization

The first thing you need to know about Fresh is that his goofy 90s persona was chosen specifically because they thought it would be non-threatening. This plays into a major part of his personality, which is that, baseline, everything he does is for survival. Once everything needed for that is met and taken care of the next major component is that he does whatever he wants to do to entertain himself.

He possesses people to live, but torments people on occasion (not too often, making enemies would go against the survival thing, unless he’s assessed that they would be a harmless enemy perhaps). All his weapons are innocuous at first glance to once again pass himself off as non threatening (oh hey the furby bombs come into play here, huh, he also uses a wiffle bat).

He doesn’t feel most emotions, but he can feel a few, (and at one point CQ said that the longer Fresh is in the same host the more he can feel? Not sure if that still applies, take that with a grain of salt) but those emotions are fear, anger, and amusement primarily (though affection and others are not off the table, it would just take A Lot of work for him to get to that point). Primarily his emotions that he portrays are all ones he’s imitating based on what he thinks are non threatening reactions. He easily pretends to be chipper or indignant but he doesn’t truly feel most of these emotions. According to posts written by CQ he is not genuinely flirty though him imitating “safe” emotions might put him in situations where he does that (most likely just to entertain himself, which is the primary reason he likes kissing. He doesn’t understand why kissing is meant to be important and does it because he’s amused by people’s reactions to it. Absolutely no thoughts [about kissing] behind those glasses.)

He is also very full of himself. He thinks he’s better than other people (but obviously he recognizes that as being a negative/”unsafe” thing to voice so he keeps it to himself and privately believes it). He thinks he’s better and deserves good things (this is directly stated in The Monologue), which is another reason he amuses himself by scaring people. IT’S IS ALSO A RESULT OF ANOTHER MAJOR COMPONENT OF HIS PERSONALITY: He has an ideology that people are primarily driven by selfishness. This is likely a direct result of him being a literal parasite who needs to harm others to live. He is really unable/unprepared to comprehend that people can care about others so much that they would put their loved ones before themselves. When this is challenged it typically makes him irrationally angry and ready to hurt people (even ones he “pretends” are his friends, and even though this contradicts his need to survive at any cost) to prove to them that they should never trust anyone. This is also why on occasion in a few comics CQ has done Fresh will offer up being possessed to desperate people with the lure that they won’t feel pain anymore (which is implied to be a lie because people who can read souls and Fresh himself say they can hear the host screaming, possibly in agony).

THE MONOLOGUE

Okay so I’m going to explain the events leading up to The Monologue, and then I’m going to share the whole monologue here, then I will analyze it (plus here is the link to the post with the monologue and a more in-depth recap of events from Fresh’s old RP blog)

There was a huge multi-blog RP event (these used to be very common, I don’t go to the RP scene anymore though so I’m not sure if they stopped or I just stopped seeing them, basically a whole bunch of blogs get together to RP through one big common event, typically a party that they are all attending) called the LoveBall that Fresh went to with the plan to infect as many people as possible with parasites he produced and from there infect the whole multiverse (which he claims is to “help” them all). Fresh directly states that he’s not a Sans here, even though this was before his redesign when he was still possessing one (STARES DIRECTLY AT EVERYONE CLAIMING I AM A SANS SIMP FOR LOVING FRESH).

Anyways he gets confronted by another Not Sans, who takes him to The Last Corridor (judgement hall) and Fresh is sure he’s going to die, though he still tries to act unbothered. They talk a bit and it is revealed to Fresh that he is a fictional character (he could see the whole multiverse was code too which is a fun detail), he’s clearly taken aback but still tries to play it off as it’s explained to him that him and the other Not-Sans and everyone they’ve ever known are Nothing, and that it would be for the best if he doesn’t try to get OUR attention.

SO NOW WE COME TO THE MONOLOGUE ITSELF WHICH IS SO GOOD THAT I WANT TO EAT IT. Anyways:

…….I’ve thought about a lot of stuff lately. Ya know. All these inner thoughts I ignore or avoid listenin to. And I realized. Ya know. Maybe I wasn’t lookin to ‘help everyone’. It was some excuse, ya know? I like messin with people. I like the concept that in some way, I’m more clever, or amusing, or hilarious, or-…. simply put, I’m BETTER then the rest of em. I’m better and I deserve to get what I want, and I wanna mess with people and I want to hurt people, and since, ey, I gotta possess people to survive, I might as well ENJOY the process as well, ya know dawg? I wanted to take over the multiverse because yeah, it extended far beyond somethin so noble as ‘helpin’ people, I wanted to take over because I COULD, and because it was FUN, and because I couldn’t be STOPPED. I wanted the power to enslave E͏̷͏V̨̀͜E̸͠͠R̡̢͠Y̸͢͟T҉̢͠H͏͜͞Ì̴̕N̡̨̕G͡. The power to enslave everything. But. I can’t do that. Can I?

B̷͠E͢͝͡C̕͠͝Ą҉̀́̀U̡̢S̀͏E҉́͢͟ ̷͜͞Ó̡̢F̢̧͝ ̶Ỳ̨́O̢̢̢Ù̶͡.̨̛ ̵͜͜R͏̷͢Ì́Ǵ͝͞H̡̡͟T́͞?̛͜͠ You’re the voices Error hears. Aren’tcha. The voices Error always talks about. Always chats with. You’re ONE OF THEM. BEYOND THE CODE. YOU’RE WHAT I WAS WARNED ABOUT. YOU’RE WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT. BEYOND ALL OF MY KNOWN EXISTENCE. BEYOND ‘THE GAME’. You’re toying with Error. Askin him questions. We’re all your toys. Every single thing I’ve seen, every Universe, every single creature I’ve come across or possessed, every bit of data…. is something you are capable of manipulating, right? And now.I got your attention. Just like he warned me against.

….y-ya know. I won’t stop. Right. I’m gonna keep possessin peeps, and runnin around and having a radical time.

That’s what you WANT, right?? That’s what you’re lookin for, to be amused, and have a laugh! Well you’re in luck! THATS WHAT THE FRESH IS HERE TO DO! No worries, my good ol chums!!I’ll keep it up. Everything.

Right?? THATS WHY YOU’RE TALKING TO ME NOW. Right?? You are amused by me!!! Ah hahaha wicked brah! I’m glad! I’ll just- keep–

I-I…. I’ll just. Keep up my dated lingo. I’ll heelie right into every situation and make a joke of myself, and then when peeps drop their guard I’ll do somethin creepy or hilarious– OR BOTH! Ah hahahahahahaha. That’s what you want. THATS WHAT YOU WANT?

….don’t kill me. Don’t kill me. Or worse. Whatever you’re capable of….

I… I’ll do what you want!!

I PROMISE. just….just.

Don’t kill me. Please.

So one of my favorite details here in the monologue is the fact that it starts with him outright stating that he thinks he’s better than everyone else and it ends with him begging us not to kill him. His hubris hit an unmovable wall at 100 mph.

I really feel like the monologue speaks for itself, so onto the next part!

Post Event Characterization Implications

So one of the things that could probably be inferred by this is that all three of his major motivators, His Need to Survive, His Want To be Entertained/Amused, and His Ideology of Selfishness are basically shoved into a blender. I’m sure he still believes in inherent selfishness but his ego about it should be at least slightly bruised, knowing that he’s just as microscopic and inconsequential as anyone else in the multiverse. As for his need to survive and want to be entertained, they’ve both been subverted to different extents. His want to be entertained is completely subverted where instead of being the one being entertained by bothering people, he is now the one wanting to do the entertainment because they believe it is necessary for their survival.

I imagine he is being eaten alive every day by the worry that he’s not being interesting enough and will be abandoned and effectively killed for not entertaining us enough. Though he might be able to push that out of his mind most of the time to continue what he normally does, because he might be able to convince himself that we have to like him for who he is to some extent or he wouldn’t have gotten this far, which seems very plausible given how good he is at hiding his fear and anxiety during his confrontation with the other Not-Sans.

Anyways he’s a bastard and he’s great and I am unfortunately in love with him. He probably wouldn’t be down for it but I will still imagine holding his hand and then picking him up and slam dunking him into a trash can (lovingly).

this is going to sound SO INCREDIBLY STUPID

but I

SCREAMED

when I realized he has heelies in this image

HE HAS HEELIES IN HIS CURRENT DESIGN GUYS!!! HE HAS THE STUPID WHEELS IN HIS SHOES!!!!! CANON!!!

vanny

♪ "We are but machines

But we breathe,

life into a glowing home

full of new friends,

not the end!

Only blood that's flowing here is in our father

he's the author of our Wonderland!

He made us into what we've become!" ♪

GO GIRLIES WOOO!!

Name ten female characters you like, you get zapped if it's jsut a male character you call a babygirl or other feminine nicknames because I can't see people calling Lestat coquette again