If You Accidentally Hurt Someone Or Cross Their Boundaries And They Make You Aware Of This, Literally

If you accidentally hurt someone or cross their boundaries and they make you aware of this, literally all you have to do is apologize and stop. You don't have to beat yourself up internally for months. You don't have to hate yourself for fucking up. You don't have to feel like a horrible person. No one benefits from any of that - and at worst, such an extreme reaction will make the person in question less likely to speak up around you in the future, cause even if your negative reaction is directed at yourself and not at them, it's still unpleasant for everyone involved.

More Posts from Pursuingimmortality and Others

9 months ago

going to center my human experience around female experience. befriend and build deep relationships with women. enjoy womenโ€™s art and writings. listen to female artists, speakers, and role models. read books about women, watch movies about women, and donate to charities for women. work with women, study with women, plan trips and outings with female friends and colleagues. support female creators and buy artworks of women. i am going to enjoy my life so much by caring for and being cared by women.

2 months ago
God Forbid 5000 Year Old Girls Do Anything

god forbid 5000 year old girls do anything

1 month ago

i love you green. i love you forests. i love you smell of damp earth. i love you feeling before the storm breaks. i love you moss. i love you rivers. i love you streams. i love you thunderstorms. i love you sunlight shining through leaves.

1 month ago

"that time of the month" "monthly visitor" "feminine hygiene products" GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!


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1 month ago

Historical context is of course very useful for important things like Politics and Science and everything, but will also open your eyes to things like, uh... the way the clothing/textile/crafting industries try to use the word "natural" as an excuse to sell shoddy and bad quality goods and make you think that's normal.

God knows there are worse things going on in the world, but it really pisses me off when I see companies advertising "Real Shell/Pearl buttons!" like that's supposed to be some upscale selling point, and the buttons in question are the thinnest, roughest, most crudely-made buttons in existence... ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜’ "But they're made from Natural Materials! You can't expect Natural Materials to look refined and consistent like synthetic ones!" They are lying to you. THEY ARE LYING TO YOU! And I know this because I've seen "real shell buttons" from 100 or even 50 years ago. And most of them are sturdy and smoothly polished, of a consistent thickness, and sometimes even finely carved. The buttons on nice men's dress shirts? Those are the cheap, plastic IMITATIONS of what people expected actual mother-of-pearl buttons to look like! "Natural" isn't an excuse! Your product is cheap and badly and lazily made! And I'm so sick of this, because I see it EVERYWHERE. "Linen-look" has become shorthand for "coarsely woven fabric with visible slubs" and that drives me CRAZY because do you KNOW what kinds of linen I have seen??? Antique linen so light and fine and smooth you can't even SEE the weave unless you magnify it!!! A fragment of a linen damask tablecloth so smooth and glossy, it looks like SILK? ๐Ÿ˜ญ (On that note, "dupioni silk" is so roughly woven that it would have been considered hardly fit to sell a century ago) "This fabric is woven of Natural Materials, so imperfections will be inevitable!" ๐Ÿ™ƒ No! ๐Ÿ˜€ You just made it cheaply and sloppily, and that was your choice! ๐Ÿ˜Š

4 months ago

I'd love to see feminists placing women in the role of "default human" from now on as a way of centering them, using feminine pronouns when speaking of people generally. Men have done this for themselves for more than long enough. I want to take maleness out of our language as much as possible, at least in English.

"To each their own" >>> "To each her own"

"Every person should be able to do what he wants" >>> "Every person should be able to do what she wants"

"God in His infinite wisdom..." >>> "God in Her infinite wisdom..."

Etc.

Just speak from the female experience as much as possible. Wash maleness out of your speech, and you'll wash it gradually out of your way of thinking.

1 month ago

Your emotional reaction to an injustice is not the criterion you should be looking at to determine whether you are living up to your values, or the values you'd like to hold.

Your actual response, in words and in actions, and how that response impacts others, is what you should be evaluating.

Having a strong emotional reaction to injustice isn't a guarantee that you'll actually do anything about it. Sometimes people, distressed by their emotional response, choose not to see injustice so they don't have to feel that way. Sometimes people focus so much on their emotional response that Feeling Things is the extent of their interaction with that form of injustice.

Having a calm and rational-feeling reaction to something isn't a guarantee that you're actually seeing The Bigger Picture. It can just mean you aren't having a big emotional reaction; it doesn't mean you're actually being logical or that you're well-informed about a situation.

Sometimes people assume that their emotional reaction is enough to tell them what would help, and their completely uninformed attempts to help can make the situation worse. Finding out what would actually help takes work. Feelings can't do that work for you.

Having All The Right Feelings about something isn't activism, and not feeling an emotional connection to an injustice doesn't automatically mean you can't or won't contribute meaningfully to addressing or alleviating it.

Your feelings are only relevant to injustice if they help you to actually do something constructive, or if they get in the way of you doing anything constructive.

In and of themselves, they're just feelings. There's no moral or ethical aspect to them, any more than there is to hunger pangs or an itch. You don't need to feel guilty based on feelings alone, and you have no right to self righteousness based on feelings alone.

Your feelings don't help or hurt anyone; your words and actions do.

1 month ago

The whole 'men evolved to hunt, women evolved to gather' thing is total nonsense.

Evidence shows women have always hunted. They found a 9000 year old female hunter buried with weapons in Peru, and thereโ€™s a ton of other research showing women were just as involved in survival work as men.

The Theory That Men Evolved to Hunt and Women Evolved to Gather Is Wrong
Scientific American
The influential idea that in the past men were hunters and women were not isnโ€™t supported by the available evidence
1 month ago
A group of women stand happily together. Small bunnies surround them. Text reads: "women are everywhere".
Three women are holding hammers. Text reads: "they will punish you with hammers".

Women are allowed to do this.

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just reposting stuff all day

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