So Glad I Get To Experience Homosexual Desire. One Life And Thank God I'm Not Straight

Imagine that one scene from that animated series justice league where Batman reveals everyone's secret identity(like a badass) then takes off his cowl and they're all in shocked confusion. I mean that's baby girl Bruce Wayne, sunshine of Gotham as The Dark Knight. Then they all get really protective of him. They might've feared him before but now they know he's just baby. It doesn't matter that he can beat them all, he's baby... Idk I find the idea cute

Okay, so I love that scene dearly, but my heart screams for something more personal? If that makes sense? I'll take inspiration from one of my favorite Spider-Man identity revels.

Let's imagine this; The city, Gotham or Metropolis or just an unlucky piece of land that had a really bad day. Hal saw the building collapse first, coming down on them like an avalanche of death.

Hal isn't very good at brain work; He's not like Flash, who can map out an entire route in his mind in a blink, calculating escape routes, and distances, and lengths, and how fast he can run without injuring anyone.

He's not strategic like Wonder Woman, or pragmatic like Batman, or sensible like Superman. He's not the brainpower; But he's pretty damn good at acting like he's okay.

And withstanding that building because Superman got Injured, well.

He can do so with sweat raining down his temple and pain screaming in his system and a smile on his lips, "This is a really good arm work out, guys,"

" Hang in there, Lantern,"

He hears that you're doing great, Hal just well under his hero moniker from Barry. It's a good power up, if nothing else.

Wonder Woman rubs his shoulders before attending to the injured, helping them dig a way out before the oxygen dries out.

Another thing he's not good at is comforting people; He's lost to crying kids. Especially crying kids whose parents are paste under rubble and hubris.

His back is arching, his fire's going out. All he knows is that those little sniffles and whimpers in the hissing silence hurts worse.

The only person he can think would be worse than him at it is Batman; Stone masked, more shadow than person, a labyrinth of a man.

But Hal isn't paid to think for a reason, because Batman kneels by that kid, and places a fatherly hold on his shoulders, just like Hal's father used to do when he bruised his knees climbing trees.

He doesn't say anything, because there's nothing to say. Words aren't medicine, after all. He's just waiting, it seems like, until the kid speaks first, " My daddy's dead."

"...Yes. I'm sorry."

"But, -- but you were here. You're the justice league! No one dies when you're around! You're supposed to save everybody! So why-- why not him?!"

The weight gets heavier.

" Your father asked us to take care of you first. He protected you."

" You should've left me, then! What am I going to do now? I'm just, -- I'm just...A human."

" So am I."

" No, you're Batman. That's, -- That's not the same. You don't understand. "

Hal's vision is blurry and pained, bordering dangerously close to the deep dark void of unconsciousness, -- but he can't, he can't, God damn it Hal, be useful for once in your entire life, -- but he makes out a shadow moving.

He makes out the shape of Bruce's cowl, an armor, a secret, a mystery with no epilogue. Then he sees pale. Two dots of blue, sparkling from dark grey smudge.

When his vision sharpens, so does the tired face of Bruce Wayne.

"...Oh, holy shit."

" I do, " his voice changes, too, thought that may be just Hal's pumping eardrums playing tricks on him. He goes from grainy and rough to rain soft and porcelain. " I do know. Our pain isn't the same. But the way we can get through it, is. Together."

The kid falls in his arms. For just a moment, it seems like death won when the ring powers out.

"Shazam!"

" Hey guys," Shazam's pretty wheezy for a tank made of beef and godly hands, " Sorry for the hold up. Got stuck in traffic."

They make it out. They use the picture of Wonder Woman carrying him out on her back, and Green Arrow shoves it in his face at the first opportunity.

He doesn't expect them to stick around in the hospital. But he does need to know, " Okay, so, hopefully that wasn't a near death fever dream. But are you Bruce Wayne?"

He asks Batman, and Bruce answers, a tone of shyness not unlikely a new kid introducing himself to the class, " ...Yes. and you're Hal Jordan."

"...Was it the biceps that gave it away?"

He doesn't smile, but Hal doesn't expect him to.

" Well, I mean...I'm in for the long run with you guys," Barry offers them a dorky smile before taking off his mask, too. " My name is Barry Allen. And I'm the fastest man alive...Also a bit of a science nut. I need to see your gadgets, by the way. Your Kevlar durability is just amazing, I mean the way you somehow altered the material,--"

" Oh," Apparently, Batman can blush. It's pretty addictive.

One by one, they follow, all easy smiles, all trust.

" My name is Diana. Princess of Themyscaria. I enjoy ice cream and swords."

" My name is Oliver Queen, and if you want to make a gay joke, don't bother. I said them all and I'm getter at it. And you!" He points directly at Bruce with an arrow, " You're in so much trouble for not telling me about this!"

" You didn't tell me either."

" What kind of detective can't explain the white, blonde, rich, good looking guy apart from Green Arrow? Come on."

Hal has a suspicion Bruce already knew, but said nothing out of courtesy.

" Hal Jordan. I almost broke my spine for you, so, you're welcome for That."

Superman strokes the back of his neck and hunches his shoulders, " I'm, uh, Clark Kent. I'm a journalist for the Daily Planet. I, uh...Make a mean apple pie. Which I could really go for right now."

" Hey, you punched Lex Luthor in the face! Good on you, man."

Diana chuckles, " You'll have to make your famous apple pie for us some time."

" Sure. I like eating with friends."

Hal and Oliver are definetly discussing that blush on Bruce later.

They all turn to Shazam, who's been listening, quiet for once, before he blows a laugh, "Uh, yeah, pass. You guys are nice and all, but I'm more than fine with this. Just me. Good old Shazam."

Crack.

" Is that...Is that a fucking 10 year old?!"

" I'm eleven!"

" What the FUCK,--"

" Don't curse in front of the 9 year old!"

" Again, I am eleven!"

" Who let the 8 year old in!?"

" Wow. Adults really don't listen, huh."

Bruce quite literally shakes on one place, " Are, um, are your parents deceased by chance?" He sounds hopeful about it, too.

" So. A handsome pilot. The fastest dork alive. A badass princess. A good guy who punches hard. A bow and arrow. A weirdo. And a 5 year old. We're quite the group, huh?"

" Again. I'm 11."

" Until you don't bring me some pizza and a bear, you're nothing."

Xisuma : If I can deal with it, you can too.

Evil X probably: I just felt an emotion and i’m not okay with it

One time I read that post that goes "once upon a time an adult put you on the ground and never picked you up again" and it made me sad so now I lift everyone. I'm 5'3" and kinda dumpy but the trick is to plant your feet, get 'em in a gable grip low near the hips with your knees bent, and then just tuck in your Elbows and straighten your legs. Gets those fuckers right on up there. I'm the oldest of eight and also the shortest but that sad shit lives with me so I'm hauling around these kids around like it's nothing. My little brother is a hockey player and a full head taller. I carried him around when he was a baby and I carried him around last weekend. My Papa is a 230lb Bavarian man who watches Stargate in a bath robe, he's smoked a pack a day for forty years. You think I haven't lifted him? I have. He said I couldn't do it but I did. God didn't give me social skills but I'm full of love and jacked as hell and he's not here to stop me

There is only one laundry in hermitcraft and it is at spawn. Xisuma set it up because he needed a way to politely inform the other hermits that they really need to wash their clothes, just so he'll be able to take off his helmet with the filtration systems.

And just as predicted, the clothes all got mixed up. There are several people who own lab coats, so they just get swapped around (although everyone ensures that Doc gets the torn one before he wrecks someone else's coat). The shirt situation is hopeless.

Grian's red sweater and Stress's entire wardrobe are a constant threat to the non-pinkness of any other article of clothing on the server. Jevin's clothes are probably a biohazard. TFC's has enough dust from the mines to clog up the machines twice in a week, while Tango has enough gunpowder on his that it became a genuine concern that the pipes might blow up during the drying cycle. Rendog barely stops Wels from chucking an entire suit of armor into a washing machine, but then proceeds to overfill the drum with the outfits from all of his alter egos. Etho starts running a 'Lost and Found' where he threatens to sell other hermits' clothing to someone else.

After a month, most of the hermits have given up (or ran out of diamonds for Etho) and accepted their fate. Impulse and Joe had accidentally swapped shirts, and Joe begins to rid himself of the @ branding to embrace the i, while Impulse has an existential crisis over the idea of changing his name. On the other hand, Cleo and Cub have swapped their clothes and neither of them were bothered, since it was still pretty much a crop top and shorts either way.

All of the suits on the server are now mismatched, or very pink. It is now a reoccuring joke that if you manage to get the mayor's clothes and sash, you'll own the diamond throne. Inside the now-abandoned lost-and-found, there are a lot of unclaimed Mumbo for Mayor t-shirts lying about, and the pile appears to be multiplying, or at least growing taller by the day. It might be sentient at this point or contain some sort of mutated fungus, but nobody dares to clean it up. Why is it making a hissing sound?

Xisuma admits defeat when he walks into a Hermitcraft meeting, only to find just about everyone wearing one of X's costumes that they had stolen from the laundry. Keralis does rock the Reporter Beesuma suit though, he can keep it.

This entire thing was such an entertaining read, thank you for this lovely mental image...I just can't stop thinking about the conversations that would happen as a result of this!

- Mod Shade

don't give up

Ok but like has anyone ever considered trans Reyna??? Just hear me out for a second:

The day his son came out to him was the day Mr. Ramirez lost his cool

Hylla always defended her now little sister, and that’s what made Mr. Ramirez absolutely lose his gosh dang mind.

Reyna’s name used to be Reynaldo (In my opinion)

Both Reyna and Hylla were really happy because on Circe’s island the siblings got to stay together (seeing how Reyna was now a girl, and wasn’t turned into a guinea pig)

Nico being the first person to know, (obviously) and she told him on their statue quest

Reyna stuffing her bra to try to stay inconspicuous, and Frank one day walking in on her doing so (cuz it’s Frank let’s be honest) and keeping her secret for YEARS before she finally comes out to the rest

Reyna trying to FORCE herself to speak with a higher voice (I’ve always imagined she had a lower voice anyway)

When she finally does come out to everyone, she’s a sobbing, shaking mess of a human being, and her friends feel so bad that she was scared to tell them and make her cookies or something idk (probably Percy and Hazel who did that)

Xisuma, asking Evil X if he wants to go to bed: Do you want to use the sleep?

Evil X: …

Xisuma:  …

Evil X: …

Xisuma to himself, horrified: Maybe I need to use the sleep…

I love the bit and we’re Morgan just kind of forgets that Alex is an option  and how each and every single time without fail Alex his feelings get hurt

And the fact that I’m pretty sure a good majority of the times that this has happened. It was purely by accident like Morgan just genuinely forgot that Alex was an option. .

why are all pride flags just stripes make that shit like Wales