Latest Posts by qchaos - Page 2

"Why don't people recognize Link in TOTK" bc everyone imagines the legendary swordsman to be built like Ganondorf and Link doesn't bother correcting anyone bc being hailed as a hero is like on the bottom of his priorities, which are topped by things like "Bake one of every pie"

hi mphfpc fandom ..,

Reblog if you ARE a woman in STEM, SUPPORT women in STEM, or ARE STILL BITTER about Rosalind Franklin not getting credit for discovering the structure of DNA and the Nobel prize going to Watson and Crick instead.

Undo the Damage of Sitting

hey if u can’t drive/are a slow learner due to a disability or mental illness, just picture historical figures like pirates or the founding fathers trying to operate a car.

it’s only “easy” bc we’ve normalized it.

GUISE

GUISE

IF YOU HIT “X+C” IT SHUTS OFF EVERY GIF ON YOUR DASH

EVERY SINGLE ONE TURNS TO A LITTLE GREY BOX WITH A LOCK

GUISE

TUMBLR HAS MADE ITSELF SAFE FOR EPILEPTICS

PASS IT ON

Jacob: Miss Peregrine , I've got a question:Can an Ymbrine love another person?

Miss P: An Ymbrine takes care of children Jake , she cannot marry nor have children.

Jacob: What if the Ymbrine falls in love with a woman?

Miss P : I'm not su-

Jacob:What about if the woman in question is another Ymbrine?

Miss P: *loud silence*

Jacob: So?

👏🏾Education 👏🏾is 👏🏾a 👏🏾right,👏🏾 not👏🏾 a👏🏾 service 👏🏾

Pass along and use the shit out of them

Batman Prompt 9 - Wait... He isn't a Persona!?

Brucie Wayne is Batman's real personality.

Batman is the real act, he isn't that serious.

I have seen many stories where The Justice League finds out Batman's real personality, and (most of them don't show what happens after the reveal) he now acts as himself which most people make closer to Batman's personality.

So I thought what if after this grand reveal, he doesn't just get closer to the JL, but he acts way different than they expect.

Brucie is a bit of an exaggeration of his real personality. He flirts but more in a playful way, and the public calls him a playboy because of that.

After the Justice League learns of Batman's true identity, they now think that 'Brucie' is just an elaborate act to conceal his identity. Little do they know how much their opinion of him is going to change.

This needs to happen after the reveal of Batman's identity, so you can write that(prefered) or you can skip that, but if you skip it you'll have to give a summary of how they found out so the reader has some background.

After the shock of Batman's secret identity, the JL thinks the only things that will change will be that Batman now trusts them more, they will now be able to meet out of uniform, they get to be involved in his personal life(not too much), and they see Brucie, Bruce Wayne in a different light; he isn't what the media says.

It's the day after the reveal or whenever they meet again (after the reveal).

Let's say it's a JL meeting, everything is going on as normal just with Batman with no mask on; he going through the report of something (idk what they do at the meetings).

The meeting is adjourned and somebody says that they want to hang out. They think even if Bruce told them his identity that wouldn't make him suddenly want to hang out with them, but to their surprise he says yes. His voice sounded lighter than normal, but... No, it was probably their imagination.

Bruce is at the party; it's at a privately owned place, so it's just them and none of them have to keep up the act and can be themselves.

They notice, no, it's obvious, that Bruce is acting differently. He is acting like...

"Wait is...Brucie the real personality?"

They all look at him in horror.

"...No it can't be...Can it?"

When it's something important or serious or he is uniform: Batman

When it's basically anything else: Brucie(normal him)

Just realized that the reason I love making friends on tumblr is because it’s exactly how you make friends on the playground as a six year old. No, I don’t know their name but they love mermaids too and built this awesome sand castle. No, I don’t know their age but their imaginary cheetah is friends with mine. You like this show? You like this character?? You can sing the theme song really loud??? Here is a flower crown. Here is a juice box. You can share my time and I might never see you again but part of you stays in my soul forever. In my mind we’re still on the swing set and the sky is blue and nothing will ever be wrong again.

Hal, Dinah, Bruce and Ollie are the mean bisexuals of the Justice League and have the funniest, bitchiest undercover brunches together every once in a blue moon. They’re outlandishly hot, they think they’re better than you, they are better than you, and they’re all 50 minutes late for a JL meeting (that Bruce himself scheduled)

choking on water is the worst because how do you stop choking? drink something? well ive got some bad news for you

there's a bit of a language barrier there I think I just wanted a excuse to use this headcanon, but the dudes! the guys be vibin! did have another three pages planed for this, never got around to it though,,,

transcript and extras below the cut!

Cleo: What do you mean maybe? Zed, You always talk about how well you understand Galactic??

Zedaph: Hey! I can Read galactic very well, yes! ,,,spoken is, a different story however,,, Gem: yea, spoken galactic is honestly a struggle to learn,,,

Zedaph: Hey! I can Read galactic very well, yes! ,,,spoken is, a different story however,,, Gem: yea, spoken galactic is honestly a struggle to learn,,,

Scar: what's with X trying to egg Grian into starting the                        another war over there Cleo:,,,Scar

Scar: hmm? Cleo: Scar, last week you said you didn't know any galactic.

Scar: oh, no no, I don't, why?

Zedaph/Gem/Cleo:,,, Scar: ,,, OH! Is that what that language is????

and here's the unused part of the script + my thumbnails! if any place deserved this part of the script, it'd be Tumblr <3

I want to see something.

Reblog this if you believe in bi and autistic Hotch.

fem bruce ideas?

Gosh, it's so hard to like. Translate how a simple gender shift would change a character. Because on one hand I wanna be like, " nothing would be different. Why does it have to be different?"

But on another, sadder hand, it's everything. Everything would be different.

This might be kinda controversial, but I genuinely think fem Bruce would simply know, like Monday follows sunday: she wanted motherhood. That's just something she wanted. Maybe something she excluded from the realm of possibility, discarded in the trash when Batman crawled to life, but it was wanted.

EVERY Robin was wanted. Every single one.

Thomas and Alfred would put bee hairclips in her hair, because she wouldn't brush it otherwise. "The comb feels weird, dads!"

I'm melting at these two calling her "honeybee." Martha loved to let her daughter's pudgy hands paint her face clown white and give her cherry lipstick kisses.

Bryce wears the pearl necklace. Everywhere. It was her mother's favorite gift, from her mother, and many mothers before her. Why does a weak man decide what it means?

Listen. There's beauty, and there's Wayne beauty.

All I'm saying is; Dick learned very quickly to "accidentally" spill his drinks on people at gala. To "faint out of nowhere. Oh gosh, I seem to be struck by illness!"

I think it'd be absolutely adorable if Ollie and Bryce had a casual affection for eachother. Ollie fixes her hair in a braid, in rare moments where it sneaks out of the cowl. He can still recreate Thomas' patterns.

Alfred is the shotgun father but only in a hilarious way. I want him to pull a 47 on Pa Kent and Ra's Al Ghul for trying to adopt his beloved daughter.

Jason is the first batkid who calls her mom. It's hard and difficult and foreign for him. She say he doesn't have to, and he says, " well, you don't leave me much of a choice."

"I'm sorry if you feel forced."

"No, I mean, - that's how I know you are. I could do everything to you and you could do everything to me. We're going to destroy eachother. You'll forgive me for it. How can I not call you mom?"

She packs everyone lunches; Even Justice League members. Especially Clark. Even if he can't string two words together in front of her.

I think she wouldn't get lifts or voice alternators or try to appear more masculine to be intimidating. I simply think she'd be an intimidating woman, and that's it

Harvey never really falls for it.

To him, she's always going to be the girl he married drunk at 18, wasted on tequila and love, and never quite left

This is why Hotch is always serious with them .

Hotch: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?

Spencer: Take them!

Derek: Punch them in the neck!

Penelope: Say thank you!

Emily: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!

Hotch:

Hotch: No.

Criminal minds au headcannon

Imagine if Hotch was alot younger than he is cannonically, like mid-late 20s , and he instead finished school really young, like younger than Reid.

Imagine Hotch joining the bau at like 15, having finished law school really young, being a genius like Spencer.

But, imagine he and some friends ran a law firm together, so Hotch mainly wrote what they should say, only joining in court in the hardest cases

And the team just doesn't know he also runs a law firm. So he's still unit chief, and is still serious on the job , but is so much younger, like 26 and only Rossi knows and thinks it's funny .

I can imagine the team working an important case, where the lawyers for the victims are Hotch's firm, and one of his friends help them and is so confused at how the team thinks he must be in his 30s bc he's the same age as Hotch, and the guy Owen just laughs at them, it's a bit funny to think about.

I think that Aaron would be the type of person to be really good at singing, and when he relaxes he can actually act his age, so at home if Jack can't sleep he sings to him, he likes dancing and hot chocolate, loves going out to gay clubs (I headcannon he's bi and him and Haley once had a 3some with Owen for a bit) just because he actually likes dressing up and the music.

He also hides his true self from his team because they all see him as the leader, and so feels the need to always be responsible around them.

But, when he's with Owen and his friends (family) he's much happier and doesn't act seriously because he isn't in danger or helping anyone, just being himself

So if he goes to a club or something with his friends, and the team sees them, they would just be shocked as Aaron would be singing and dancing , smiling and laughing , which the team never sees. And at the same time I think the team would be a bit jealous bc Hotch doesn't relax as much around then as he always has to be serious around them , and would wonder who those people are.

oh to lay on top of someone and hug them like a teddy bear and just sleep like that

If you start writing fics, can I suggest writing some miss peregrine centric fics, either fluff or angst, as there is no way near enough of it

Teachers Pet

Alma Peregrine x Reader wlw

Warnings: Legal age gap, no others I think?

"Are you paying attention?" Miss Peregrine snaps, she's my history teacher. But the problem is, she's gorgeous and im gay.

"Yes ma'am. I'm paying attention." I respond, her green eyes boring me. Her black hair is in a bun, there's only a few bits of hair it from the wrong hair. Her hair amazes me, the way the bits of blue show in the sun.

After a few seconds she turns back to the board. We're currently learning about 1940. She's always so knowledgeable it's amazing. Her black button up, and skirt. I can't help zoning out into a daydream. Which I'm knocked out of by the bell.

"Miss y/n. Stay behind please." She sounds slightly frustrated, which is terrifying. "Yes ma'am." I still place everything into my bag so I'm ready to leave.

After the last student files out she focuses her attention on me. I'm still in my seat which makes her look taller than me, and oh lord. "Yes miss?" I ask uncertainly, I'm not sure why I'm here, well not a definite reason. "Because miss y/n. I want to talk about you paying attention more. You've been distracted off in la la land. And i need you to focus on class." Her voice sounds so h- professional. So i nod and look down. "I'll let you off this time, but I want your attention Monday, you hear me? Now go on" She finishes. "Yes ma'am."

I'm rushing down the halls, her class is the last of the day. So I go out looking for Jacob. Jacob is one of my best friends. Finally finding him I call out; "Jacob! Wait up!" I wave out to him and he looks over smiling. "Hey y/n, wanna come to my place this weekend?" He offers, he's my friend because he's the only person who's genuinely been my friend without trying to get in my pants. And so I agree.

One hour later

Knocking on his front door I readjust my bag on my shoulder. He offered to have a gaming sleepover. And of course I said hell yea. But when I tell you the last thing I expect happened, it did. And that's when my teacher, Miss Peregrine opened the door.

"Oh hi, Miss? Uhm, what are you doing here?" I'm nervous and it definitely showed on my face. "Because dear, I live here." Oh. Oh my lord. For one, she just called me dear. And two, I'm about to have a sleepover in my teacher crushes house. "Oh? I wonder why Jacob didn't mention you?" I laugh as if it's a light joke. "Well he mentioned you. Come in dear, he's upstairs in his room."

I've never gone up a set of stairs so fast. I burst into if room and in a panicked whisper ask; "Why the hell didn't you tell me Miss. Peregrine lives with you?!" He looks confused for a second before laughing. "I totally forgot that crush you have on-" He's suddenly cut off with a amused look on his face. "Crush on who?" I feel my stomach drop at the familiar voice. I still jump slightly in surprise. "Anyways, I need to talk to you Miss y/n."

I take a deep breath and turn to follow her. She walks at a reasonable pace while I follow. She finally turns into a random room and looks to me as I follow her in. She then closes and locks the door behind me. And to my surprise, she kisses me.

I'm so taken by surprise I stiffen. Her hands are on my face and her lips on my lips. And after a second, I melt into her. Her lips taste like coffee. And she smells like roses and the ocean. And when she pulls away I already miss her. "I've known you liked me since the beginning. You don't zone out dreamily staring at someone you hate." She whispers then kisses me again.

Bruce: *passing by with Dick hugging him koala style*

Jason, confused: Why...?

Bruce: He used the "I miss my mom" card on me

Jason:

*10 minutes later*

Bruce, sitting on the couch being held tightly by Dick and Jason: Hi, Tim

Tim: *passing by* Hey, B-

Tim:

Tim: Should I ask?

Bruce: No, I'm not falling for that again

Tim: ??

Imagine that one scene from that animated series justice league where Batman reveals everyone's secret identity(like a badass) then takes off his cowl and they're all in shocked confusion. I mean that's baby girl Bruce Wayne, sunshine of Gotham as The Dark Knight. Then they all get really protective of him. They might've feared him before but now they know he's just baby. It doesn't matter that he can beat them all, he's baby... Idk I find the idea cute

Okay, so I love that scene dearly, but my heart screams for something more personal? If that makes sense? I'll take inspiration from one of my favorite Spider-Man identity revels.

Let's imagine this; The city, Gotham or Metropolis or just an unlucky piece of land that had a really bad day. Hal saw the building collapse first, coming down on them like an avalanche of death.

Hal isn't very good at brain work; He's not like Flash, who can map out an entire route in his mind in a blink, calculating escape routes, and distances, and lengths, and how fast he can run without injuring anyone.

He's not strategic like Wonder Woman, or pragmatic like Batman, or sensible like Superman. He's not the brainpower; But he's pretty damn good at acting like he's okay.

And withstanding that building because Superman got Injured, well.

He can do so with sweat raining down his temple and pain screaming in his system and a smile on his lips, "This is a really good arm work out, guys,"

" Hang in there, Lantern,"

He hears that you're doing great, Hal just well under his hero moniker from Barry. It's a good power up, if nothing else.

Wonder Woman rubs his shoulders before attending to the injured, helping them dig a way out before the oxygen dries out.

Another thing he's not good at is comforting people; He's lost to crying kids. Especially crying kids whose parents are paste under rubble and hubris.

His back is arching, his fire's going out. All he knows is that those little sniffles and whimpers in the hissing silence hurts worse.

The only person he can think would be worse than him at it is Batman; Stone masked, more shadow than person, a labyrinth of a man.

But Hal isn't paid to think for a reason, because Batman kneels by that kid, and places a fatherly hold on his shoulders, just like Hal's father used to do when he bruised his knees climbing trees.

He doesn't say anything, because there's nothing to say. Words aren't medicine, after all. He's just waiting, it seems like, until the kid speaks first, " My daddy's dead."

"...Yes. I'm sorry."

"But, -- but you were here. You're the justice league! No one dies when you're around! You're supposed to save everybody! So why-- why not him?!"

The weight gets heavier.

" Your father asked us to take care of you first. He protected you."

" You should've left me, then! What am I going to do now? I'm just, -- I'm just...A human."

" So am I."

" No, you're Batman. That's, -- That's not the same. You don't understand. "

Hal's vision is blurry and pained, bordering dangerously close to the deep dark void of unconsciousness, -- but he can't, he can't, God damn it Hal, be useful for once in your entire life, -- but he makes out a shadow moving.

He makes out the shape of Bruce's cowl, an armor, a secret, a mystery with no epilogue. Then he sees pale. Two dots of blue, sparkling from dark grey smudge.

When his vision sharpens, so does the tired face of Bruce Wayne.

"...Oh, holy shit."

" I do, " his voice changes, too, thought that may be just Hal's pumping eardrums playing tricks on him. He goes from grainy and rough to rain soft and porcelain. " I do know. Our pain isn't the same. But the way we can get through it, is. Together."

The kid falls in his arms. For just a moment, it seems like death won when the ring powers out.

"Shazam!"

" Hey guys," Shazam's pretty wheezy for a tank made of beef and godly hands, " Sorry for the hold up. Got stuck in traffic."

They make it out. They use the picture of Wonder Woman carrying him out on her back, and Green Arrow shoves it in his face at the first opportunity.

He doesn't expect them to stick around in the hospital. But he does need to know, " Okay, so, hopefully that wasn't a near death fever dream. But are you Bruce Wayne?"

He asks Batman, and Bruce answers, a tone of shyness not unlikely a new kid introducing himself to the class, " ...Yes. and you're Hal Jordan."

"...Was it the biceps that gave it away?"

He doesn't smile, but Hal doesn't expect him to.

" Well, I mean...I'm in for the long run with you guys," Barry offers them a dorky smile before taking off his mask, too. " My name is Barry Allen. And I'm the fastest man alive...Also a bit of a science nut. I need to see your gadgets, by the way. Your Kevlar durability is just amazing, I mean the way you somehow altered the material,--"

" Oh," Apparently, Batman can blush. It's pretty addictive.

One by one, they follow, all easy smiles, all trust.

" My name is Diana. Princess of Themyscaria. I enjoy ice cream and swords."

" My name is Oliver Queen, and if you want to make a gay joke, don't bother. I said them all and I'm getter at it. And you!" He points directly at Bruce with an arrow, " You're in so much trouble for not telling me about this!"

" You didn't tell me either."

" What kind of detective can't explain the white, blonde, rich, good looking guy apart from Green Arrow? Come on."

Hal has a suspicion Bruce already knew, but said nothing out of courtesy.

" Hal Jordan. I almost broke my spine for you, so, you're welcome for That."

Superman strokes the back of his neck and hunches his shoulders, " I'm, uh, Clark Kent. I'm a journalist for the Daily Planet. I, uh...Make a mean apple pie. Which I could really go for right now."

" Hey, you punched Lex Luthor in the face! Good on you, man."

Diana chuckles, " You'll have to make your famous apple pie for us some time."

" Sure. I like eating with friends."

Hal and Oliver are definetly discussing that blush on Bruce later.

They all turn to Shazam, who's been listening, quiet for once, before he blows a laugh, "Uh, yeah, pass. You guys are nice and all, but I'm more than fine with this. Just me. Good old Shazam."

Crack.

" Is that...Is that a fucking 10 year old?!"

" I'm eleven!"

" What the FUCK,--"

" Don't curse in front of the 9 year old!"

" Again, I am eleven!"

" Who let the 8 year old in!?"

" Wow. Adults really don't listen, huh."

Bruce quite literally shakes on one place, " Are, um, are your parents deceased by chance?" He sounds hopeful about it, too.

" So. A handsome pilot. The fastest dork alive. A badass princess. A good guy who punches hard. A bow and arrow. A weirdo. And a 5 year old. We're quite the group, huh?"

" Again. I'm 11."

" Until you don't bring me some pizza and a bear, you're nothing."

Pitching my " Bruce and Harley long lost twins " AU because Margot Robbie and Robert Pattinson look eerily similar and it gave me brainrot-

I feel like Falcone had a hand in separating them, breaking the proud Wayne clan apart ,- what's a daughter missing? Gotham's mean to it's girls, so it'll be just fitting for one to die before they lived.

Maybe it happens when Falcone's still considered a family friend. He offers to drive Martha to the hospital when Thomas can't, and Alfred neither.

As Martha Wayne screams the town down, he has a friendly chat with the staff.

Martha KNOWS she had twins; she just knows. But when she asks, everyone's so puzzled. " Mrs. Wayne, you had a boy; Just... One boy."

" That can't be right," she sniffs, even if she's holding Bruce so tightly to her, a hollow void eats her where her daughter should be. " I had a girl. I know I did. Thomas- Tommy picked that silly name for her, after his pet rabbit. I know it!"

Martha Wayne wasn't thrown in Arkham because she was dangerous; She was locked up because she was a grieving woman, and Thomas Wayne can make that go away, but he can't get his daughter back. She did exist. She was someone.

They have Bruce, until they don't.

CONSIDER THIS; Harley and Riddler in the same orphanage. Him spitting on Bruce even after his parents were murdered, and Harley feeling a sense of wanting to protect Bruce from it??

She doesn't know why. Her fists itch and twitch to punch long and wiry Eddie Nygma in the teeth for saying Bruce deserves it.

Because yes, he's a rich kid. A rich kid with dead parents rotting in the ground.

" So? You're so fucking stupid, Harley. He has MONEY now! He'll be FINE. Meanwhile, US gutter spawns here-"

Harley remembers Eddie holding down Jenny Jameson. Four years old, playful and clueless in a way Gotham murders young.

She remembers her screaming while Eddie shoved rusty nails in her mouth for taking his apple.

He doesn't care about anyone but his goddam self. He couldn't understand Bruce Wayne. Or her.

She never had any family, but doesn't that suck more? To have something love you that only death could make it stop? She sees Bruce Wayne's grief striken ashy face in that square TV.

She grieves, too. She doesn't know why. She just does.

God I love Bruce and Harley being roomates; Meeting as adults, - or as close to adulthood as they'll ever be able to touch.

Bruce doesn't understand why she hangs out with Eddie and Jack. Jack just rubs him the wrong way and Eddie looks at him, hateful edge sharp and cutting and Bruce doesn't mind that;

But he does mind Harley being around them. Especially Jack. " Ah, ya just don't know howtta have fun, Brucie. This is COLLEGE. Be there or be square. Cause he doesn't invite just anyone, ya know?"

" He smells like... Smoke. And bleach," he scrunches his nose. " And he's...Mean."

" That's just how he jokes around! He's a funny guy if you have a sense of humor."

and he HEARD Jack make fun of the scars on Harley's back; He's seen them, because Harley's world doesn't have the word " shame" in it and changes around him frequently.

He did freeze, the first time he saw them. Pale and scarred. Close to unintelligible depending on the lighting. But he does see them. It'd be a kindness for him if he wouldn't.

Dragged. With a sharp object, mkst accurately a piece of glass or razor blade. Thin, but deep. Letters stretched from one shoulder blade to another.

Wayne

Propriety

To which Eddie laughed with, because he and the kids at the orphanage were the authors. They figured if Harley wanted to defend that family so badly, she'll have a sign that fits.

But she didn't need to know that. Bruce does. Bruce knows everything about anyone, seems like.

" No, I mean, - mean to YOU. He makes dumb blonde jokes even if you're at the top of their class. "

" Yeah, well, " Harley shrugs, painting her eyelids with green and purple; She doesn't like either, but Jack told her she'd be prettier if she changed her make up. " Told him I didn't like it, so he's gonna stop...Eventually. he's nice to me sometimes."

" He should be nice to you ALL the time. Just... Don't go. I'll watch that horrible Grey Ghost reboot if you stay with me."

Harley is weak for his puppy eyes; She really is. " Please, Harl. Don't go."

"... Fine," she groans. " I'll be a loser. Just for my favourite roomie."

" I'm the only person who responded to your ad."

" Wanna know why? We're probably meant to be in eachother's lives."

" I don't think Gotham is kind enough to give me a friend like you."

Harley actually tears up and CRUSHES Bruce in a hug, nevermind Jack's stupid " never touch Wayne" rule. " BRUCE. We're gonna be BFFS forever. I'll make you a teeth necklace."

" I think the bracelet's enough."

" You'll be maid of honor at my wedding."

" That's not what it's called."

" You'll be my kid's weird uncle that says phones ruin families and not decades of fermented generational trauma."

"...Sure."

Sure. Bruce can be anything, if he's with her, and she's with him.

Such a slut for Bruce calling his kids pet names regardless of where they are. He called a fully grown Dick his baby on TV. He called Jason sweetheart while they were Batman and Red Hood. He called Tim honey in a meeting. He called Cass princess at ballet practice. He called Damian habibi in front of the League. I mean, who’s gonna stop him? The media loves that shit, criminals and goons are too afraid of Batman and Red Hood to do anything, the executives value their jobs too much, the single mothers love a dilf and the League know better than to fuck with Bruce and Damian.

If you're a slut for that, I'm the whole damn whorehouse - ENDEARMENTS FOR FAMILY MEMBERS MY BELOVED,,, no no no because this feels me with warmth your mind is SOOOOOO HUGE

Omg Dick would be so flustered because you just KNOW the others tease him endlessly by ONLY referring to him as " baby" for a month straight. The titans too. He cannot escape it

I have a feeling that Jason and Damian would pull the " knock it off, Im too old for that!" card, but Bruce couldn't give two fucks bc he knows they secretly love it; especially damian who's so moved and touched by being called someone's 'love'

- him, not a monster but not a child; not darkness but not light. Bruce quickly shots that shit down and FIERCELY argues that Damian is love because he's strong.

Duke is pumpkin and stephanie is lovebug, he told me specifically- also the league can't say shit bc it's so adorable to witness. I bet they're happy to know there's a heart inside that suit

The Wayne manor is not a quiet place.

Someone Is always doing something, talking about anything, teasing, bantering, playfully slandering, so Bruce grew accustomed to noise. Its hard not to, with his nest of birds.

But this particular topic has him on mute;

"Why do YOU get him when he's old?"

" Oh my GOD, Jason, I'm LITERALLY the oldest. You ALWAYS have to get everything!"

Jason isn't at all interested in Dick's dramatics. He wraps all 6'4 inches around Bruce's leg like an affectionate leech. "You're the fucking meanest! You'll probably feed B those gross ass protein shakes and force him to watch re runs of Realest Housewives of Gotham!"

"YOU TRIED TO BLOW HIM UP!"

Cass is strong like a tsunami and silent as a snake, jumping on Bruce's back, beautiful eyes full of threat. " Dad stays. Mine."

Bruce pipes up, " I have a retirement plan--"

"Getting railed everyday at the Kent farm isn't a retirement!"

Tim gives Steph a look of disgust. "Gross."

Damian isn't above pulling out his swords. " If I don't get Baba, everyone is dying. Me included. "

"Damian. What did I say about threatening your siblings with murder?" Bruce asks expectantly.

" Oh, I'm not threatening, baba. I'm making a vow."

Alfred doesn't pry his attention from the chamomile tea he's preparing. " Master Bruce stays with me."

"...Alfred, I don't think you'll...You know, be around when Bruce retires--"

"Was that a contradiction?"

They all gulp. The argument is settled quickly, and Bruce spends the rest of his evening with head on Alfred's lap and his hand in Jason's hair, petting like a cat, and listening to RHOG on the TV.

He loves the noise.

my first short animatic ive really done

Clark has had a bad week--a stopped alien invasion, a plot by Luthor involving some kryptonite, being chewed out by Perry, being chewed out by Batman, and now he was at some stupid charity gala that was just an excuse for rich people to show off how rich they are, when his gaze lands on Bruce Wayne.

Wayne has made passes at him before but Clark's ignored them, having very little interest in the rich fop, but right now, he could really use some stress relief and if he can't eat the rich maybe he can fuck them. And despite his reputation for being good in bed, Wayne seems like the kind of guy who probably does the bare minimum in bed but his partners still rave about him bc he's rich and famous, so maybe he and Lois can giggle about his poor skills in bed at work the next day.

So Clark approaches him and he seems quite happy to entertain Clark and later Clark is lying in bed, panting, after several rounds and he's so upset bc goddamn it, Wayne is actually better in bed than the rumors say and it's not fair that's he's rich and handsome and good in bed. He and Lois can't even make fun of this tomorrow, rich people suck

One of my favorite variations on the “Justice League Meets the Batfam” trope is the one where Dick, as Nightwing, joins the Justice League and makes Bruce suffer for it. Nightwing is unaffiliated with Batman so for all anyone knows Nightwing at most someone copying Batman’s philosophy in the neighboring city. More likely neither of them have ever spoken before. Bruce has to pretend like he doesn’t know His Son who is running around with the League. Dick is having a grand ole time being just a liiiiitle too familiar with Batman, not enough to blow their covers immediately but enough to make people confused and Bruce grumpy. Everyone thinks Batman is in the process of literally planning the murder of their new team member meanwhile Dick is in the Batcave getting yelled at about secret identities. He is clearly not listening to the lecture. Steph is behind Bruce mimicking his speech and acting innocent whenever he turns around. It’s great.

JL sets up a betting pool to see who can get Superman to say "fuck" first. Everybody gets so intense about this, but no matter what they do, they cannot get him to say anything worse than hell. Bruce is so tired of this, so at a meeting one day he just takes off his cowl and reveals his identity with zero build up or warning and Superman just lets out the loudest "What the fuck?"

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

*In the middle of a JLA meeting

Green Arrow: Batman…is there something under your cloak?

Batman: …

Nightwing: *peeps out

Red Hood: *peeps out

Red Robin: *peeps out

Spoiler: *peeps out

Batgirl: *peeps out

Signal: *peeps out

Robin: *peeps out

Batman: Technically I am under it.

Superman: Technically you’re a minivan. How are you all fitting in that seat?

The justice league goes for training without powers just to see how they’d cope in that situation.

Bruce and Oliver are so ready for this moment, and no one likes the way the two are teaming up.