Alternatives For Self-Harm

Alternatives for Self-Harm

Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:

Scribble on photos of people in magazines

Viciously stab an orange

Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall

Have a pillow fight with the wall

Scream very loudly

Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines

Go to the gym, dance, exercise

Listen to music and sing along loudly

Draw a picture of what is making you angry

Beat up a stuffed animal

Pop bubble wrap

Pop balloons

Splatter paint

Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black

Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches

Throw darts at a dartboard

Go for a run

Write your feelings on paper then rip it up

Use stress relievers

Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it

Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc.

Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)

Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old short or sock

Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself

Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go

On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture

Break sticks

Cut up fruits

Make yourself as comfortable as possible

Stomp around in heavy shoes

Play handball or tennis

Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.

Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing it)

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or on your mouth

Run your hands under freezing cold water

Snap a rubber band or hair band against your wrist

Drip hot candle wax on your skin (please be careful doing this)

Clap your hands until it sting

Wax your legs

Drink freezing cold water

Splash your face with cold water

Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off

Massage where you want to hurt yourself

Take a hot shower/bath

Draw in red ink lines where you want to self harm

Take a hot or cold shower/bath

Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet

Write or paint on yourself

Arm wrestle with someone

Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root

Rub liniment under your nose

Rub lotion on yourself

Put tiger balm on the place(s) you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores).

Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:

Say “I’ll self-harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades

Colour your hair

Count up to ten getting louder until you’re screaming

Sing on the karaoke machine

Complete something you’ve been putting off

Take up a new hobby

Make a cup of tea

Tell and laugh at jokes

Play solitaire

Count up to 500 or 1000

Surf the net

Make as many words out of your full name as possible

Count ceiling tiles or lights

Search ridiculous things on the web

Colour coordinate your wardrobe

Play with toys, such as a slinky or play-doh

Go to the park and play on the swings or jungle gym

Call someone

Go “people watching”

Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets

Do school work

Play a musical instrument

Watch tv or a movie

Paint your nails

Alphabetize your CDs or books or movies

Cook

Make origami to occupy your hands

Doodle on sheets of people

Dress up or try on clothes

Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop

Write out lyrics to your favourite song

Play a sport

Read a book/magazine

Do a crossword

Draw a comic strip

Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self-harm free using pretty coloured paper

Knit, sew, or make a necklace

Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy

Buy a plant and take care of it

Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon

Browse for forums

Go shopping

Memorize a poem with meaning

Learn to swear in another language

Look up words in a dictionary

Play hide-and-seek

Go outside and watch the clouds

Plan a party

Find out if any concerts will be in your area

Make your own dance routine

Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favourite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself

Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day

Finish homework before it’s due

Take a break from mental processing

Notice black and white thinking

Get out on your own, get away from the stress

Go on YouTube

Make a scrapbook

Colour in a picture or colouring book

Make a phone list of people you can call for support allow yourself to use it

Pay attention to your breathing (breathe slowly, in through your nose, and out your mouth)

Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)

Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)

Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it

Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can

Take a small step towards a goal you have

Alternatives that are completely bizarre, at least you’ll have a laugh:

Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal

Run around outside screaming

Laugh for no reason whatsoever

Make funny faces in a mirror

Without turning orange, self-tan

Pluck your eyebrows

Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food

Go to the zoo and name all of the animals

Colour on the walls

Blow bubbles

Pull weeds in the garden

Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely:

Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self-harming

Draw or paint

Look at the sky Instead of punishing yourself by self-harming, punish yourself by not self-harming

Call a friend and ask for company

But a cuddly toy

Give someone a hug with a smile

Put a face mask on

Watch a favourite TV show or movie

Eat something ridiculously sweet

Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head

Treat yourself to some chocolate

Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do

Look at things that are special to you

Compliment someone else

Make sculptures

Watch fish

Play with a pet

Have or give a massage

Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind If you’re religious, read the bible or pray

Light a candle and watch the flame (be careful)

Go chat in the chat room

Let yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion

Accept a gift from a friend

Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people

Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles

Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book

Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)

Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch tv or read

Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared:

“See, hear, and feel” - 5 things, then 4, then 3, and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and sill calm you down

Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to

Meditate or do yoga

Name all your soft toys Hyper focus on something

Do a “reality check list” - write down all the things you can list about where you are now (i.e It is the 9th of November 2015, I’m in a room and everything is going to be alright) With permission, give someone a hug

Drink herbal tea

Crunch ice

Hug a tree

Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so

Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive

Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards

Put your feet firmly on the floor

Accept where you are in the process.

Beating yourself up only makes it worse

Touch something familiar/safe

Leave the room 4/7/8 breathing - breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and breathe out for 8 seconds.

Repeat until you feel calm.

Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself:

Think about how you don’t want scars

Treat yourself nicely

Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self-harm

Create a safe place to go

Acknowledge that self-harm is harmful behaviour

Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it

Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what to do

Think about how you may feel guilty after self-harming

Remind yourself that the urge to self-harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time

Avoid temptation

Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets; wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut

Be with other people

Make your own list of things to do instead of self-harm

Make a list of your positive character traits

Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you

Put a band-aid on the area where you’d like to self-harm

Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW

Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe

Notice “choices” vs “dilemmas"

Lose the “should-could-have to” words. Try “what if"

Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about yourself and that you don’t want this

Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns

The Butterfly project - draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self-harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off, therefore “killing it”. You can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love.

Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self-harm. When you go to self-harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself.

Think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself.

Make a bracelet out of duct tape, and put a line on it ever day (or ant period of time) you go without self-harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress

Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:

Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint

Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut

Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo

Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick

Take a small bottle of liquid red food colouring and warm it slightly by dripping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press it’s tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food colour trickle out.

Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you’ve made my dropping six or seven drops of red food colour into each of the ice cube tray wells

Paint yourself with red tempera paint

‘Cut’ your skin with nail polish (it feels cold but it’s hard to get off)

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings:

Phone a friend and talk to them

Make a collage of how you feel

Negotiate with yourself

Identify what if hurting you do bad that you need to express it in this way Write your feelings in a diary

Free write (write down whatever you’re thinking at the moment, even if it doesn’t make sense)

Make lists of everything, such as blessings, in your life

Make a notebook of song lyrics that you can relate to

Call a hotline

Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but don’t send it if you decide not to)

Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/things that you accomplished/are grateful for/made you smile.

Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down, you can go back and look at it.

Hotlines:

Suicide Hotlines Worldwide

Suicide (and other support) Hotlines UK

Suicide (and other support) Hotlines USA

Sexual Abuse & Domestic Violence Hotlines (USA)

Child Sexual Abuse & Domestic Violence Hotlines (USA

Feeling Sad? - Masterpost of Links/Websites/Games to visit when feeling sad

100 Reasons NOT to Commit Suicide

More Help/Tips/Advice

In Denial // A Theo Raeken story

Chapter 3

I'm taking my normal morning jog in the woods, something I haven't done in weeks because of the ghost riders. The air is cool and feels wonderful on my newly sweaty skin. The branches on the trees sway gently in the wind, leaves occasionally swirling to the ground. A beautiful fall morning. I smile. I slow my pace to a fast walk instead of a jog, catching my breath. For breakfast this morning I had some chocolate chip muffins I made the night before. The chocolate taste still lingers in my mouth, making me hungry for more.

Behind me, I hear a twig snap. I immediately turn to the noise, seeing a tall man in a hat. I couldn't see his features, because the sun hadn't fully come up. His hand rested on his hip, like there was something there.

"What do you want." I slowly ask to the figure. I know exactly who he is.

"Failure." Behind him comes three dread doctors, who I could now see in result of the quickly rising sun. I could also see the face of the ghost rider. The doctors seemed to materlize out of the rider. More and more stepped out from behind the ghost rider and three dread doctors turned into hundreds. I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I've never run faster in my life.

"Uby. Ruby. RUBY!" A familiar voice rang in my head as I ran faster and faster, the doctors right behing me. Then, I realized I wasn't moving. I was running in place.

"RUBY!"

I snapped awake, screaming bloody murder. I felt hands on my arms but they weren't the dread doctors or the ghost rider.

"Hey, hey, you're okay. Ruby, you're okay. Breathe." I look to my right hearing the familiar voice again. Theo is kneeling on the floor next to my bed. I slow my breathing to a normal pace.

"How did you know?" I ask.

He replies, "I heard your heartbeat. It woke me up from my beauty sleep."

"Beauty sleep?"

"Yeah," he says. "You aren't the only one who cares about how they look." And with that, typical Theo Raeken is back. I turn to look at my wooden nightstand to the right of my bed. The digital clock flashes twelve o'clock. The power must've gone out considering the sun shining through my transparent white curtains.

"What time is it?" I rub my eyes, removing the crust and leftover mascara. I forgot to take off my makeup. I probably look like a shipwreck.

Theo grabs my phone on my dresser, clicks it on, and reads out the time on the lock screen. He smiles. Probably a result of the lock screen picture, Stiles and I sitting on a dock next to Lydia's lake house.

"8:45." Good, my dad already left for work. School is supposed to start in three weeks, so I've been sleeping in. No morning jogs. Now I really won't be able to go on a jog. That dream shook me up.

"Do you have any plans for today?" Theo asks.

"Not until one. Lydia and I are picking up Stiles and going to Applebee's."

"Applebee's? Of all places, Stiles chose Applebee's for his 18th birthday?" I guess he read the note I must've dropped in the hallway. I don't see it on my dresser.

"Well, he hasn't really experienced a fancy lunch or dinner except Applebee's. If you couldn't tell by my house, my family's not the richest." I take my phone out of his hands. "Anyways, since I'm not busey this morning, do you want to do something?" Why did I just ask that? I'm not even supposed to have him in my spare room. Why did my brain think it would be okay to ask him to do something with me?

"We could go to the lake." He stands up and walks past my closet on the opposite wall of my bed. He stops at my dresser. Looking through the dresser.

"What the hell are you doing?" He doesn't reply. When he finds what he is looking for, he pulls out my favourite bathing suit. A plain, red, high-waisted one-piece.

"Put it on," he says, throwing it to me. I catch it while my eyes stay glued to his.

"What gives you the righ-"

He cuts me off. "Let's go to the lake." I roll my eyes eternally. I think for a few minutes, looking at Theo, then the swim suit, then Theo again.

"Fine." I grunt. "But we have to be back by ten so I can pack an extra outfit for the party."

"Party?" He asks, intrigued. No no no.

"Yes, and you are most definitely not invited." He frowns.

"Why not princess?" I stand up from my bed and I walk over to my closet.

"Scott's gonna be there. Also it's my brother's birthday, and I'm not letting you ruin it." I grab a long, baggy shirt from one of my hangers and walk out of my room.

After changing into my bathing suit and putting on the shirt and some shorts that I found on the bathroom floor, I walk out of the bathroom. Theo makes me jump a little by standing right in front of the door.

"Can we also stop by and get my truck from the tow yard?" I walk downstairs as he follows. I shouldn't of let him stay the night. Now he thinks he can do whatever he wants.

"No. I'm not letting you drive and I'm not paying the tow man an unreasonable amout of cash to get your piece of crap truck out." I can practically smell his dissatisfaction. "Sorry, but I'm doing enough for you already."

He mumbles something that I shouldn't be able to hear without my supernatural hearing.

"My truck isn't crap."

When I start the car I realize Theo isn't wearing swim trunks. As if he could hear inside my mind, he says, "My trunks are in my truck b-t-w." I grunt. Here's a challenge, take a shot evertime Theo makes me mad. There's your one way trip to alcohol poisoning.

I turn off the car and turn to Theo.

"If you move even an inch, I will slit your troat and take it OUT of your body." I smile sarcastically. "Okay?" The preppy-ness in my voice seems to annoy him. "Be right back." And with that I grab a pair of old swim trunks from Stiles' drawer.

Why am I doing this?

Yo yo yooo. Okay hi. Did you like the 3rd chapter. It was kinda kyute in my opinion. Still not getting a lot of reads but thats okay. As long as I make one person smile. Anyways I'm proud of this chapter. I wrote it in under 30 mins with little errors. Sorry if I didn't catch some mistakes, I'm working on getting better. I edited it more in Tumblr so my wonderful Tumblr readers get some extra oomf. Xoxo -em

Wc: 1131♡

Valentine's Day (Stiles)

Wrote this little short fic a few days ago because I was bored and I figured I would post it.

Warnings: none

Description: Valentine's Day at BHHS with the McCall twins, Scott and y/n.

A/n: kinda sucs but i decided it would be cute for valentine's day. Also this is my first time writing in 2nd person...

"Scott, we're gonna be late for school!" Mornings are hard when you're Scott McCall. He never wakes up on time. You definitely expected to sit on the counter waiting for the boy for a few more minutes, but Scott was standing ready and the entrance ti the kitchen as soon as you finished your sentence. He holds a huge bouquet of roses in his hands along with a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a white teddy bear.

"Don't worry my sweet sister, I am prepared today." You both head out the door and into the car.

"Are you feeling alright? No fever or anything?" Scott swats your hand away as you try to feel his forehead for a sign of a fever.

"Just buckle up," Scott says, starting the car. "Oh, and happy valentine's day y/n"

When the two of you arrive at school you head to your lockers, which are conveniently next to eachother.

"AHHH" A scream echoes down the BHHS hallways making you fight the urge to cover your ears. Kira rushes down the hallway not even letting the strange stares of other students stopping her from getting to Scott and his handful of gifts. You turn back to your locker and grab your chemistry textbook. As soon as you shut your locker, a face pops out from the other side making you drop your book.

"What the-" You recognize the boy who startled you. Stiles bends down and picks up your book.

"Whoopsies. Totally meant to do that." He laughs making you laugh. "Uh.. happy Valentines day, princess." Behind his back, Stiles holds a small red velvet box. "And this is for my favorite woman."

He hands you the box, and as soon as you open it, you see a gorgeous silver necklace with a heart dangling outlined in tiny rhinestones.

"No you did not. I told you not to get me anything expensive!" Your face is permanently molded into a smile and it feels like it's never going to go away. The necklace must've cost a fortune for Stiles.

"I wanted to get you something extra special to show you how much I love you. Of course, a necklace, no matter how expensive, will never amount to how much I love you, y/n." Your arms find their way around Stiles' waist and you squeeze him like a teddy bear. He smells nice like always. You've learned to remember your boyfriend's scent very well recently.

"I love you, Stilinski." He kisses you and you walk to first period together: chemistry. You have a feeling it's going to be a wonderful valentine's day.

In Denial // A Theo Raeken story

Chapter 4

A/n: Theo, in this story, came back to beacon hills in junior year.

(3 weeks later)

I walked into school early. By early, I mean it's six in the morning. School doesn't start till seven thirty. Every year on the first day, the pack meets in the library. This year, it's Scott, Lydia, Mason, Corey, and me. Everyone else had gotten caught by the ghost riders. Yeah, it's hard without Stiles. I've talked to him through the radio of his jeep before. My "mom" is still here and she scares the living crap out of me. I think she knows about everything going on. I mean, she knows about the supernatural, but we never told her we know she isn't real. She will sometimes stand in my doorway and stare.

I get the shivers as soon as I think about her.

My walk down to the library is long. I decided to go the inside way. The air outside is too cold, and it's supposed to rain soon. I hear something behing me and pick up my pace, immediately thinking back to the dream I had just a few weeks ago. I take a quick glance behind me before putting my hand on the door to the library. Nobody there.

I try to pull the handle but it wouldn't budge. Sounds of heels clicking in the distance scares me. I turn to the noise and see Mrs. Martin walking towards me, her eyes not swaying away from mine.

"Safe space remember? Library doesn't open until seven." She just walks right past me as she speaks, her voice echoing throughout the halls. Again, I hear another noise from down the hallway. I see what's left of the pack walk down towards me.

"You gonna open the door, Ruby?" Scott asks. I shake my head.

"It's locked." I say. I turn to Lydia. "Your mom locked it. Said it doesn't open until seven."

"Ugh. What?" Lydia groans.

Mason jumps in, "Isn't it supposed to be open for twenty four hours?"

"Yes." I reply. "We can just go into an empty classroom." Everyone nodds at the idea. Classroom it is.

We pick an empty class down the hall, one without any decorations so we know a teacher won't come in later.

"So, we need a plan." Scott announces.

"We have-" Mason gets cut off by Lydia.

"Liam's plan to use Theo sucks. Scott's right, we need a new one."

Speaking of Theo, after the lake we never talked. I have no idea where he went or what he's doing.

I don't "miss" him. How could I? He's not a good person, and I'm glad I haven't seen him again.

After and hour and a half of chatting in the class room, the warning bell goes off, signaling us to go to class. I say my goodbyes and walk with Scott to first period. Ap chemistry.

We turn into classroom 323 and sit in our assigned seats. Thankfully, I got seated next to Scott. Unfortunately, there are three seats to the lab table and when I look over at the name on the index card taped to the front of the table, I sigh. "Of course."

"What was that, Ruby?" Scott asked.

"Look at the name tag," I reply.

Then, like I summoned the devil, he walks in. Smile on his face and everything.

"Here's my name." Theo says, not even looking at the tag, but to me. That dumb smirk still on his face.

It's gonna be a long semester.

After three class, Theo followed Scott and I down the hallway to lunch. Scott has my first three classes with me, thankfully. I might die without him there. I haven't seen stiles in three weeks.

Scott wispers loud enough for me to hear. "Theo stop following us." I can smell the arrogance off Theo right now. He doesn't say anything back, just takes a sharp right turn into the mens room.

When we meet everyone in the cafeteria, they all look at me.

"What?" I ask. Lydia is the first to speak up.

"Girl, we've been seeing Theo staring at you all day." I blush. "Do you like him?!" That makes everyone stare at me even more.

"No, what? Of course not?" After saying that I hear a growl in the corner of my ear. I turn around, quickly, to see who it was, but no one was there.

"Ruby, are you okay?" I heard Scott say to me. He said it low enough so nobody else heard.

"Yeah, just thought I heard something."

After lunch, I go to my locker and get my text book for my last class, forensics. Stiles had that class with me. He was the only one in the pack who was taking it with me.

I opened my locker. As soon as the door came open, a small note fell out. I picked it up and looked around to see if anyone was watching me find the note. I unfolded the small slip of paper and read it.

Meet me under bleachers after tryouts.

We need to talk.

I totally forgot about tryouts today. My 4th year being on the highschool lacrosse team. My last year being on any lacrosse team. I wish Stiles was here. I really miss him.

After I got back from the lake that day with Theo, Stiles called me and said he saw them. The ghost riders. He saw them. I drove over to the school as fast as I could, but Lydia told me I was too late. It took us a whole week and a half to remember him after that day.

My last class ended, finally. I litterly felt like I could die. We didn't even learn about forensics, we just went over some stupid class rules.

I walked to the locker room, catching up with Scott along the way. We didn't talk the whole way. I know he misses Stiles too.

Tryouts went by as normal, we did some drills and did some one on ones. I made first line like last year, and Scott made team captain again. I had almost forgot about the note until Scott asked if I wanted to get celebratory icecream.

"Oh. I'm actually supposed to meet someone." He gave me a funny look.

"Who?" He asked as he slung his lacrosse bag over his shoulder, walking down the hallway of the empty school.

"I actually don't know." He stopped walking and tilted his head slightly. I just kept walking. "Bye McCall." I shouted behind me.

"Bye. Be safe." And with that I went to the field once again, but not for lacrosse.

A figure was already standing under the bleachers. I couldn't see his face that well since coach turned the field lights off. Only the lights coming from the building illuminated the back of the figure. He stepped foward, and i still couldn't see him. It's so dark.

"What do you want?" I asked to the figure, taking more steps towards me. He finally came about three inches away from me. I could finally see the outline of his face, looking up. His height making him tower over my short body. "Theo?"

"We need to talk, Ruby."

"About what? What could you possibly want to tell me that is so important you have to meet me under the bleachers at ten pm?" He smirked.

"I can't stop thinking about you." I rolled my eyes and turned around, but didn't get far. His hand planted a firm grip around my wrist.

"Theo let go. I'm not becoming another one of your little flings. I need to focus on Stiles." He growled and I recognized it from the growl in the cafeteria. I turned towards him.

"Did you mean what you said in the cafeteria?" He asked, his voice suddenly soft.

"Theo let go, please. Your hurting me." He let go immediately after I said it hurt.

"Im sorry." He said soothingly. "But did you mean it?" I sighed.

"Theo I can't be with you. You're the bad guy." His face contorted into confusion. I think I hurt him.

"What about the lake, the- the spare room."

I immediately replied, "I was just trying to be nice. And I regret ever doing it." No, no, no. I don't regret it. I don't.

Theo just sighed and walked off.

"Wait-"

"Ruby, don't talk to me." He never turned back to me, just kept on walking.

Hiii. Again. I kinda like this chapter. Let me know what you think. Love you guys

Xoxo -em

Wc: 1432♡