Painterly 3D, My Truest Of True Loves ♥

Oh lordy how did I not know you went to CMU?! You've been such a huge influence on me artistically; I think I had every single thing you'd ever posted on DA saved in a folder when I was in high school. I can't believe you went to CFA!Just so you know, nothing's changed (I'm in Drama, but its still a Fine Arts degree). I'm having a huge struggle finishing because I feel like the only thing I'm learning is how to be pretentious. My professor claims everything I draw is anime and unacceptable and I'm banned from using digital. The only medium we're allowed to use for renders is watercolor, which I despise with a passion. I get so caught up in trying not to fail out that I've been in an artistic rut for years. I'm sorry someone as talented as you was treated so terribly. It really seems like CMU can't appreciate anyone who deviates from their narrow worldview.I was in CS before I was in Drama and don't get me started on that....ug.

Well I gotta say I'm not exactly forthcoming on the internets about rough times in my life nor am I keen about turning this blog into incandescent rants about my thoughts on the structure of modern art schools... aha. But. That divide between fine/"high"/contemporary/SERIOUS art and design/commercial/art-as-trade/"low" art is unbridgeable in an academic setting. I certainly didn't know anything about any of this at the time, I'd already been burnt out from attending an extremely competitive high school, and I just didn't have the confidence to turn down such a great opportunity in order to find my own way (and find a school that was a better fit). The irony is still that I do take my art very seriously, just not in the omg-I-am-so-deep-and-challenging kind of way that professors want at critique time where developing any kind of technical skill is an afterthought. I had nothing against the art that goes in contemporary exhibits that make you feel like you're being trolled (if you don't find this pile of broken glass on the floor to be the most deep and mind-blowing work of the year you are a PHILISTINE) if you don't "get it" until I went to art school. Its the environment of insisting that true art is anything and everywhere and all points of view are valid when they clearly aren't just... made me so sour yep I'm ranting

Deep down I've always known what kind of artist I was/am and as a square peg being told I could fit into that round hole if I only tried harder!! well its no huge surprise that didn't work out. I do want to finish college someday but I'm interested in biology/medical illustration due to it being the best way to combine my love of art and science :D Also I just really really really want to take lifedrawing classes where you observe surgery instead of models! 

I wouldn't take any of it back since I learned so much from it, I just also hope one day to have learning experiences that are hmmm... more enjoyable lol

I dug into my hoard of cheap wigs and cheap kanekalon for styling practice and I'm pretty happy with the result. It definitely confirmed in my mind the value of starting with higher quality wig and hair fiber though! The black fiber absolutely refused to hold a curl. I want to try another fluffy shoujo style again soon. Its very tedious work, I tied in about 3 packs of extra long jumbo braid, but also calming, so its been the only type of crafting I've been able to manage lately. Been slowly stumbling my way out of a 6month+ funk due to cross country move and difficulty adjusting despite having moved a gazillion times in my life... I think Im pretty good at moving but that doesn't mean its actually easy :\ I'm doing much better but better =/= good. Still working on that. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bwr8nXkDxtL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=p70ktgej1d86

this makes deciding on color schemes a no-brainer! I'll definitely buy when the beta is over.

Coworker introduced me to a really awesome little Photoshop plugin. Took a screenshot of me playing around with it at work that I blurred to hell for NDAs. Gone are the days where I have to open up the color picker window to sample colors!! I definitely recommend at least trying it out.

I needed my own super sentai-inspired hero, so here's Heliolux :D I started a big overly detailed design sheet becase someday IMMA WEAR THIS.

I learned a lot working on him... I don't finish things much and then when I do perfectionism can still get the best of me UGH. I definitely added enough hair for hugeness! But my teasing skills arent up to snuff and it kept collapsing immediately queue sad deflating balloon noise 8C Some problems I didn't forsee with insistence on ponytail, he is heavyyyyyy which is an amplified problem when all of the weight is exactly at the back yanking head constantly backward. I didn't add what seemed like THAT much extra hair (its basically 2 wigs worth) but like a dummy I forgot that LENGTH adds weight too. I think also trying to tease out hugeness from small origin point provides no base of support for the hair to stay huge. I... don't want to give myself a literal headache to wear it but I tried it on and it makes me feel SO! FUCKING! MAGICAL!!! BEAUTY IS PAIN I have some ideas to make it huger AND a little tiny bit lighter but it means unstyling, washing, and ripping out some of the wefts which... I want to do because theres an entire can of hairspray in him and I think I can redo with less and avoid such a rough crunchtastic texture. I also want to put more tinsel in it :P But that'll be later cos I started on my next, even longer wig ;p

Who's your favourite character? Which character do you think changes the most or has the biggest arc throughout the story? Is this character the main character? Why or why not?

AHAHA don't tell my other characters but... It's Felix I have a crush on himhe is really complicated and weird and just so much fun to write!

I have multiple stories so this is kinda tough question. For my fantasy I want to say it's Naroth but since his arc is still tangled up so much with the others that none of the character drama (of which there is MUCH) happens in a vacuum. Errikan is the title character of The Last Paladin and Lillia Naroth and Astral are sort of like sidekicks but ohhh I dunno I made the story in four parts and give each of them an arc, sort of.

1. numbered list description again. 2. SO PROUD of that pipe wrench! I couldn't decide between vintage or modern styles of wrench so I just designed one that's both (it's called a hybrid) 3. finally confident in my ability to blend graphic design and illustration 4. real people are still too hard to draw hnnng. 5. tumblr is going to butcher this huge image but I couldn't bring myself to post anything smaller, this image is HUUUUUGE 6. did I mention its huge 7. hello favorite band! if you're reading this please know that I have a crush on each and every one of you. it's super annoying! hope y'all enjoy.

Don’t have time to draw currently :C so here’s something old I GUESS. Errikan’s life story gets peppered in through lots of flashbacks… I wrote it all out I may share if there’s interest (I… I’m shy though). I felt like I should have drawn him at further ages but I don’t actually know what he’d look like?? A happily ever after Errikan would look rather different from an Continuing Adventures-then-later-dies-in-a-barfight-related-freak-accident Errikan. … … I do know he keeps trying SO HARD to grow a beard and succeeds… eventually. Very eventually. Elvish men have it so hard.

I've got the ongoing severe project ADHD where I sketch a rad idea and draft a pattern or two and start hoarding materials and then... float to the next shiny idea like a cartoon character following the scent of fresh-from-the-oven windowsill pie. :P Screenfaced expressive robot is on costume bucket list, one evening on a whim I sketched them out on my headform and uUUgh I wanna make it but when will I?? Dunno. Need more LEDs. I feel like I'm in work/school purgatory. I can't manage full time school but it means I'm just gonna be in school for what feels like forEVER! AND I'm still so got damn tired. Came home from closing shift last nite, stayed up late panic studying for a programming test this morning, I DID OK ON THE TEST THO YEEEEAHBOOOOII, now I'm gonna pass out for a quick nap before work today fnghfgh ZZzzz. I'm ok tho just a lil moody that I gotta take things so slowly and Im STILL exhausted by it. Still thinkin about the irony of persuing robotics/engineering education after getting kicked out of top robotics school over decade ago (mind you, arduino didn't exist back then and hooooolymoly this stuff is so much easier now! wowowowow) Programming still so hard tho UGH. But I stay motivated when I get ideas like above and know that I may actually have skills to make it real sooner rather than laterrrr

When creating/designing anything- fantasy races, settings, clothes- do you prefer to try isolate them from this world and let your imagination flow by itself or do you like to do things like deliberately draw from history, base cultures off other cultures, places off other places, etc?

I would say a mixture of both but I think it's SO important to make the distinction that creativity doesnt happen in a vaccuum ever, springing forth purely from mysterious dark recessess of your mind, everything you think of has a previous frame of reference. I feel as an artist (and ahem as a human being) the goal is to learn and study as much as possible, collect as many experiences as possible, stuff that into your mental reference library and a creative inspiration will do the rest. Even ideas that pop into my conscious are never fully formed, so it is often at that point I work on it more systematically. What are my goals for the idea, what interests me about it, how can I make the idea more effective.

I think maybe an example could illustrate this best? I've been working on a sort of fairytale thing, it's based on a dream I had that had a couple of characters (a singing robot guy, and two witch princesses) but not much else to go on if it would be made into a story, which I totally felt needed to happen as soon as I woke up! So I started with the character, and the starting "facts" of them. And then I had to decide the type of story I wanted, and the tone (fairytale! cute and romantic... possibly... a love story). Then the ideas for setting and genre were important (if one of the characters is a robot, and there are also shenanigans involved that are suspiciously magical, well then let's go with steampunk. Ottoman Empire steampunk). New characters are developed to serve the needs of plot (a protagonist/other half of love equation was needed, so I created Edie and made her a mechanic), and once those things are figured out I start doing lots more research to fill in all worldbuilding details (this is not important to the story at all.. maybe... lol sometimes I am so torn about what is plot relevant or not- but I made up a country for the alternate history timeline and the reasons for its existence, its political system, economy, and culture) so that in the end, everything involved in this imaginary story and world and people is actually coherent. That helps the emotional aim of the work to feel more true, even in fantastical settings and situations. Sometimes the setting is closer to "reality" ( near or distant future perhaps, historical fantasy, urban fantasy, parallel universe), sometimes not as close (making a world from scratch, decidedly NOT in our universe, totally different laws of physics apply- or don't apply- its misleading to think that this type is simpler and requires less research; but that's a whole looooooong extra thing to talk about imo).  Either way, things have to make their own type of sense or the story won't be as engaging. If art is self-expression and you are communicating, it's about being a good communicator, making a connection.

BLA BLA PREACH PREACH. Point being is that this is a both/and thing, but also niether. Creativity is problem solving. When its in the form of art instead of say, engineering or even design, people make out the process to be more mysterious and abstract but my personal view on this is that it's not really different, its just that the problems art (and philosophy, etc) try to address are more emotional and existential.

I don't know if I'm making any sense :( But that's how I feel about it and I articulate it as best I can man this ended up long and rambly