questionablefruitsalad

Latest Posts by questionablefruitsalad

DYING for a Bullet Train AU where Lemon and Tengerine are Jaeger pilots.....

Absolutely LOSING MY MIND that he sings SO GOOD 🥵😍

Nobody:

Bullet Train:

This is giving Lemon energy 🤤

Who wants to build a pillow fort then absolutely violate me inside it?

Battle Royale: who'd win in a fight? The Citrus Twins, or those guys from Fargo?

*argue in the comments*

Gentleman's Club

An *NSFW AU* where Friedrich Harding is sucked into a local toxic men's club that ends up brainwashing him*

Lots of smut/lemon/fluf/NSFW shizz

Thrupple headcanons

You are in a relationship with the Citrus Bros. I'm talking tag-team style sex. Tangerine destroys you and Lemon is a master at after-care and warming you up prior. All three of you are switches. (Fanfic? Or my fantasy since watching this movie? You decide....)

🍋 Slow, cozy sex: loves having you ride him and showers you in praises. Soft kisses to your forehead inbetween thrusts. Gets you warmed up and ready for him with his long fingers- making sure you're wet and worked up before sitting you down on his thick cock.

🍊 Sex is rough and fast: yanks your arms above your head and grips your wrists hard enough to leave bruises- rutting you down into the mattress while his teeth nip at your neck. You're left gasping between sessions- he only leaves enough time in-between for a quick cleanup before he's back inside you again.

🍋 Food play: will lick whipped cream/fudge sauce off your cock/tits because "You're delicious". Washes you off after- fingering you to another orgasm while he does so and then tucks you into bed with all your stuffed animals. Did I stress the praises and forehead kisses?? Communication king here.

🍊 Sneaks into your room in the middle of the night- you wake to the sound of him panting: cock in hand, furiously jerking himself off while his lustful eyes glance over your moonlight bathed body. "So pretty when you're sleeping" he stutters. He needs you to tell him how much of a good boy he is so he can cum.

🍋 Likes when you tug lightly on his hair- weaving your fingers into his soft curls. You hold his face just close enough to yours while you pleasure yourself- panting sloppy kisses onto his lips, eyes locked as you spill over into your own hand. He brings your fingers to his mouth- licking up your taste.

🍊 Let's you pick out one of his ties to bind his wrists and neck- bringing him to his knees while you place a foot on his chest. You litter him with a combination of praises and insults, giving his cheeks light slaps until he's worked himself out of breath. The bulge in his pants growing damp at the tip. He begs you to let him touch himself.

Doing this to Lemon while he explains Thomas n Friends

I wanna give a boy head while he explains something complicated to me, I want to hear him struggle and lose track of what he was talking about, I want him to explain all this shit he knows to me with his fingers gripping at my hair and his voice shaking and melting into those pretty breathy moans, shits so hot man like damn

Slow mornings part 1

Lemon loves to sleep in.....

Content warning: smut- just pure smut. Reader has V&bewbs

You loved lazy Saturday mornings. You had off so you got to sleep later than usual. And Lemon was off this particular day as well- so he had crashed at your place the night before and was still fast asleep next to you- light snores escaping his partially open mouth. He was even more adorable in his sleep. You stirred slightly, rolling over to view him. You admired the beauty of his face: lush lips that left tingling trails down your body when he kissed you, expressive eyes that danced with shimmer when he looked at you, a soft nose that teased at your bud when he tasted you. You lifted a hand to cradle his warm cheek- the scratch of his beard tickling your palm. The memories of your past love making swirled in your mind, bringing a hot flush to your face. A needy ache dripped from your core down to your swelling folds: igniting a fire that required swift attention. Instinctively, your hips rolled forward with a wanton urgency. Your hands weaved their way down Lemon's face, lightly tracing down his neck and moving to his chest. His face twitched, a small yawn escaping him as he rolled on to his back. You moved closer- arm reaching over his broad chest- resting on his warmth. You nuzzled into the crook of his neck- placing a light kiss against his softness. He inhaled sharply, reaching upwards in a big stretch- his arched back pushing his chest and belly out further. A gruff moan escaped him as he glanced over at you- eyes still blurry from sleep.

"Ey luv"

His voice hoarse from sleep. The sound made your already tingling clit ache. You pressed your face against his neck- breathing in the lingering scent of his previous cologne and body sweat. You placed lazy kisses between licks along the side of his face and neck- settling to chew lightly on the lobe of his ear. He soft giggle escaped him. He's ticklish there- good to know.

parallel play (liking and reblogging your mutual's posts but not talking to them)

Lowkey wanting to write a ~Latina forbidden social status difference lover~ au for Friedrich Harding but like

~oh sweet lord~

Watching interviews with Brian Tyree Henry and realizing the SIZE DIFFERENCE between us and having impure thoughts that directly negate my claustrophobia

(more) Citrus Bro Headcanons 🍋🍊

Lemon:

●Has to be touching you at all times while sleeping: will either bear hug you from the back as the big spoon, or back up into you from the front as the little spoon. Is a blanket hog as well

● Enjoys slow mornings: any time he doesn't have to be up for work he's sleeping in past noon and then makes a full breakfast with lattes. Keeps all your favorite breakfast foods in stock and changes it up daily

●Speaking of lattes: he loves making pictures with the foam (yes, most of them include Thomas and various Pokemon) He once entered a design competition and won second place (somebodies grandma won first....)

●Loves bubble baths: has a bath tray to hold books, drinks, whatever else- and shelves full of bath bombs/shower steamers/ bath gel. Best believe this man reaches peak relaxation at least weekly (He'll have to find a way to send Tangerine out of the apartment other wise he'll complain, as if he doesn't hog the bathroom ALL the time) Cucumbers on eyelids included

Tangerine:

● Has a knack for complex puzzle games but can't solve a rubix cube to save his life. He's managed to keep a game of chess (against himself) going for at least 3 days. He's cursed himself out at least 7 times

● In denial about being allergic to garlic. While it's an ingredient in all his favorite foods- it makes his throat itchy and his face red. Lemon has an epipen stashed for safety.

● Obsessive facial hair grooming. Has a mustache comb and conditioner with him at all times. Brushes after eating and before addressing people. Sasses Lemon for not conditioning his beard.

● Fear of dogs. Not big ones (he thinks Shepard and Pinchers are regal) but little yapper dogs: chihuahuas and yorkies will send him running. "Goddamn anklenippin gremlins...."

tangerine with a s/o headcannons? (not forcing at all <333)

Oh, Tangerine is a suave MF

at least he THINKS he is

● Acts aloof but keeps track of all your favorite things: will surprise you with your favorite food or a gift when you're having a bad day and answer with a "No biggie luv, just saw it n though o you"

● Always has backup plans for date night. It's raining when you wanted to go to the beach? He's got reservations for a beachside restaurant so you can still see the ocean. Car breaks down on the way somewhere? He's already got a picnic basket and mattress set up. This guy is 10 steps ahead

● Although he's not the best cook (this man could burn water...) he's always willing to try and cook up something fancy (even when you insist ordering pizza is fine) And even started taking a cooking masterclass to try and impress you

● Speaking of impressing you: he's a huge attention hog. Always makes sure you see him when he doing something. Even mundane things: he's got his arms flexed, ass and chest pushed out. If he doesn't need a shirt on to do it, expect this man to have his tiddies out. He's mastered the smirk n wink

● While he's not a fan of PDA, he's always an arms length away. He often reaches out a hand to make sure you're near by- probably out of caution (work makes him jumpy at times) And he always wants to make sure you're okay. If you hold his hand/arm in public, he'll act nonchalant but is low key melting inside.

● He blushes very easily. It doesn't take much to get those cheeks glowing. He gets even more embarrassed if anyone points it out (which you and Lemon LOVE to do)

● Is a SAP for romcoms. If given the choice to pick a movie, he'll go for the types of movies you'd see on the hallmark channel, claiming- "I just don't want anything too action packed before bed. Honest"

Open for drabbles

Hit me with your bullet train/lemon/tangerine ideas

(lmk what's off the table because I'm a freak LOL)

I'd love to hear your inspiration!

🍋🍊

plz, I'll write for you T.T

*Casting my net out into the stagnant waters of the Bullet Train Fandom in hopes of mutuals down to sob over Citrius brothers content*

Content warning: Sex, penetration, bodily fluids, smut, a loving partner,

"You're so good, luv". Lemon panted between steady thrusts- his fingers digging into your hips for support. Your soft skin bruising lightly under their calloused pressure- you loved the marks he left: they reminded you of nights like these. By now, the room had fogged up into a humid mess, and sweat dripped from his brow down on to your chest. He lifted an arm to his forehead, wiping away the excess moisture all the while keeping his pace. He pushed in further, slowly, giving your body a chance to adjust to his size. A quiver ran through you as your back arched. A moan escaped you, louder than you had anticipated- it was met with Lemon's soft mouth, taking your lips in his as he pressed down into you. The pace of your breath quickened with his thrusts- your fingers weaving their way into his thick curls and giving them a soft tug. A deep moan escaped him as he peppered kisses down your cheeks to the side of your neck- settling on the softest spot where his tongue danced over the skin. His breath hitched as your legs curled around his hips, pushing him deeper into you. "You're takín me so well" He nipped lightly at the side of your neck just under your ear, nose brushing against your lobe. His breath tickled-earning a soft giggle out of you. He pushed deeper in. You whispered a mixture of cusses and praises- begging him to move faster as you chased your climax. You wanted more. Needed more. Lemon let out a breathy giggle and smiled into your neck. "Easy babe- don't gotta take it all right now" But you wanted him fully- bodies pressed together as your hands faught to grip every bit of him and hold him closer. He sat up slightly, leaning back far enough so that your eyes met. You pleaded with him- eyes locked with his as a needy whine escaped your pouted lips. His eyes glazed over- body shuddering with lustful anticipation. "You ready for me, luv?" A hurried nod from you earned a swift, hard thrust: the full length of his manhood pressed into you. All the air left your lungs, mouth agape, as your vision blurred into a moment of ecstasy. His strong fingers kept your hips held in place as he found his rhythm- his own hips rolling against yours with each thrust. He pressed his forehead against yours- something he often did during your intimate moments. It made you feel even closer. Your eyes closed as you crashed your lips against his- kissing him deeply as the coil in your stomach warmed and flooded out of you- coating his thick cock. A moan leaked its way out of him and into your mouth as he felt your release. A moment later he pulled back, his own release washing over your belly and legs. A nervous chuckle escaped him. "Sorry 'bout that" You shook your head, assuring him it was fine. You locked eyes with Lemon as you dragged a finger thru the sticky cum and teasingly licked it off your finger tip. His eyes glazed over- blood rushing back to his throbbing erection. "Don't move, I'll get a towel" He scampered out of the room, returning a moment later to clean off you and himself. He pressed a warm, soft kiss to your forehead. "You up for round three?" You nodded, giving a playful lick to the tip of his nose.

"Is- is this okay?"

Lemon panted, his arms shaking as he held his body above you: his plush lips mere centimeters away from meeting yours. Beads of sweat dripped off of him, landing to trace the edges of your face and cascade down your neck. Your breath quickened as your eyes met with his. Was this really happening? Your hands found their way up to his cheeks- fingers softly caressing the edges of his beard- feeling the coarseness of his hair. He was warm- the kind of comforting warmth that made your insides twist into a mess while a needy ache fluttered through your core. His gaze softened- lids lowering as the spark that normally reflected in his eyes subsided. God, how you had wanted this: the two of you- alone- mere seconds from engaging in passion. Your eyes closed- chin tilting upwards in hopes of connecting your lips.

"Lemon...." You breathed- chest heaving- wanting nothing more than to give in to lust.

"uh...." Lemon blinked, moving himself away slightly, in confusion.

"Dafuk are ya doin?" Tangerine gestured at the both of you from the doorway- cigarette in hand.

You blinked- previous spell of lust broken. As it were: you were lying on your back on the floor of the train car, staring up at a concerned looking Lemon.

"They passed out....." Lemon motioned to you, pressing a hand to your clammy forehead. "Low blood sugar". He held a bottle of juice up- he had been slowly dripping it into your mouth but most of it had missed and left a sticky trail on your cheeks and neck.

He remembered your condition- how sweet! The corners of your mouth shook into a smile, vision coming back into focus. You sat up- Lemon handed you the rest of the bottle.

"It's apple. Hope that's okay"

You nodded- downing the rest of it. Tangerine rolled his eyes. You'd feel better soon.

"Get off the floor, the two of you. That's disgusting"

Lemon gently lifted you to your feet- a firm but soft hand on your shoulder to steady you.

"You alright, luv?"

You nodded. God, he was the sweetest.

Tanked

Lemon: the precious person he is- takes care of you when you have too much to drink

"Your tie's crooked, luv..."

Your eyes blurred in their attempt to focus on your partner. Lemon stood in front of you, a concerned look spread across his face.

"You alright?"

He held out a firm but soft hand to steady you as you tilted slightly to the side. The complimentary mimosas on the cruise were substantially stronger than you had anticipated, and your quick overconsumption had left you....well, tanked, to say the least. Lemon had noticed you were a bit too far gone when the entertainment host gently pulled the microphone away from you. While attempting to announce the next activity, you had commandeered the mic and started a very passionate rendition of your favorite song. Despite the positive feedback from the cribbage group- most other attendees could tell a nap, hydration, and maybe a cold shower were needed. Lemon, ever the vigilant lover- flocked to your side: ice cold water in hand.

"Have a sip luv, please."

He held out the refreshing drink. Admittingly the only nonalcoholic thing you had all day. You grasped the cold glass, pursing your lips and making a "hissssss" sound to mimic the cold against your skin. Lemon's lip made a quick upwards motion: entertained at your cheesy humor, but remaining insistent on your well being. You sipped lightly- cautious about the ice cubes bumping at your front teeth.

"Mmmm, so good!" You flashed your cheesiest grin.

Lemon nodded- motioning for you to consider the rest of the drink.

"Finish, please."

You nodded, obliging. Lemon gently took the empty glass from your hand, swiftly replacing it with a second- full, glass. In your drunkenness'- your brain registered this as a magic trick. You giggled and slapped your hands to your heated cheeks.

"For me!?!?"

You gasped- taking hold of the second glass and downing it. Lemon nodded- relieved at both your compliance and the enthusiasm for hydration. When you finished the second glass- Lemon held out his hand.

"We should go have a rest, yeah?"

He nodded- hoping to elicit a similar reaction from you. You nodded as well, wiggling your body over towards his. You leaned lightly against him- lips in a kissing position. Lemon smiled, gently placing his hands on your shoulders to steady you.

"Let's get you upstairs, luv....."

He gently lead you past the hustle and bustle of the cruise ship and into your shared room. Once there, he moved the blankets aside and helped you in to bed- moving the pillows to support your head. Blankets gently tucked under your arms and legs- leaving you enough room to wiggle if needed. And another cool glass of water sat on the table next to the bed, and a trash can poised at the ready. Lemon kissed your forehead gently,

"See you in a few, luv"

“Fuck #Ice shoutout to my Mexicans , pass this shit”

-  Fabio Ochoa @QuePasaWindow

UPDATE! HOW TO GET / PRINT THEM!!!

kropotkinisrecruitin

Hey! This is the link to the cards, a good resource for anyone who needs them or wants to provide them to their community. https://www.ilrc.org/red-cards

https://www.ilrc.org/red-cards

EVERY BODY KNOWS SHITS FUCKED

Lemon appreciation post 🍋💛

musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction

Reblog daily for health and prosperity

questionablefruitsalad submitted:

First saw Bullet Train years ago and fell in love with the brothers. Recently got back into the fandom.

(Lemon is wildly underappreciated!!)

Here are some of my (relationship) headcanon for the Citrus brothers: 

Lemon-

Big praise kink: will call you "good boy/girl/babe/love/ect" throughout lovemaking

Always gives forehead kisses. Or a soft kiss on the top of your hand

Random gifting: will see a plushie or something that reminds him of you and offer it as a gift- saying "it you"

Great cook- specifically baking. Learned how to make vegan/gluten free/nut free/ect goodies specifically for you

Info dump: loves to share lore of his favorite shows/movies and always asks about info on your favorite media as a way of connecting

Acts of service: loves to clean you- whoever you bathe/shower together- he loves to lather you up/clean your hair and makes sure you're rinsed properly 

Sews: can sew any small tear or rip in your clothes. Will add a fun color/design patch

Tangerine:

Dirty talk: loves to cuss and speak lewd- always whispering in your ear after if that was "okay" for him to say

Spanking kink: loves to spank your bum (will always rub the sting away after) enough to make you blush

Jealous lover: will get (adorably) jealous when you laugh at someone else's jokes- makes obvious (and adorable) attempt to regain your attention 

Fancy date: enjoys taking you out on a night on the town- fancy restraunt/club/ect (with money he stole on a job of course)

OCD: has a penchant for neatness/order and gets fussy if things aren't to his liking (absolutely needs the toilet tissue folded top over....): claims it's so he can keep track of whatever you need

Self care: will take 3000 years in the shower- exfoliating/concealing/moisturizing every part of himself (and you- it's a love language)

Positive reinforcement kink: needs words of affirmation and praise from you (gets more horny when you compliment him)

tangerine snail 🍊

Like, I can't fathom HOW MUCH I wanna mush this beautiful person!!!! They're the FULL package for me! They're funny, a geek, sassy, sexy. Everything.

RAHUL KOHLI + TIKTOK

Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.