I’m Wheezing At Tim’s

Ok, so I was looking through a COD Monster AU and she had interesting and creative interpretations regarding to what the characters would be like as this specific monster/hybrid or otherwise.

These characters include:

-Price

-Soap

-Ghost

-Gaz

-Alejandro

-Rodolfo

-Valeria

-Graves

-König

-Horangi

-Laswell (makes a brief appearance but she seemed to stay human)

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So focusing on the 141 members it’s clear she did the ‘19 versions, so no Roach. :’(

(Which is FINE btw, totally understand why she didn’t include Roach, people can include whoever they want in their AU, I’m not hating).

BUT, this fandom seems loose with cannon anyway, so I thought I’d go brainstorming what Roach would be like as a monster/hybrid.

These are my head-cannons:

For the most part it seems like the monster designs retain aspects related to their monster side (claws, wings, talons, scales, fur, shadows, fangs, etc). So going off of that, I’d incorporate that into Roaches design.

First and foremost, Roach has to have his signature antennas. >:DAnd just for fun maybe include insect inspired eyes, and maybe insect wings? Pincers (maybe)? I’ll leave that up for interpretation.

He has an ability to communicate telepathically to roaches. This could be great for spying (Roach has all the tea) and for intimidating the enemy. What’s more terrifying than being bombarded by a huge swarm of roaches? :D

Thought it’d be fun if Roach had a smaller build to him? Like, I’ve seen some fan art where people depict him being a menace by hiding in small crevices and/or cupboards, or somehow ended up hanging in the corner of a ceiling somewhere. I thought that’d be perfect! (I’ll leave that up for interpretation).

Or, OR, let’s go completely off the rails. Since his original design has him mostly covered up, he's just completely made up of roaches that are embodying military suite (Armor? Clothing? Don't know my military term that well).

And like, when first meeting him you're under the impression that he's a human or something but then later on you just see his body burst into an army of roaches, like a hive mind situation. 👀

And like, I’ll leave it up for interpretation if he can still talk or not, since he’s essentially just made up of a swarm of (intelligent) roaches.

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The original maker of this AU is @bluegiragi. Just a heads up, she’s mostly known for making (+18) content. I was intrigued by her character designs and stayed for the lore. 😗

While I’m not too crazy about the erotic side of her work, she is writing an interesting story and am curious where she’ll take it. 👀

(Plus I’m a sucker for a good ghoap story). 😔👉👈

Duke is unapologetic for everything that comes out of his mouth. In fact, give him a mic, he'll say it louder.

Some way too old for that guy, trying to flirt with Cass: You know, you seem so mature for your age…

Duke, popping out of nowhere: And you're really fucking dumb for yours, man, fix this puddle of desperation on your head first and only then think about trying to fit into society. If even your hair doesn't want to be with you, what are you counting on?

Cass, who really didn't want to ruin her cute dress with blood: 👍🏻

A really annoying paparazzi: Hey, boy, how does it feel to become rich after, well, whatever you were before? Have your, erm, extracurricular activities changed? What's your favourite thing to do now?

Duke, with the straightest face known to mankind: No, it's still your mom. My favourite extracurricular activity, planning to do her more actually, thanks for the question.

Bruce, trying to parent a whole ass teen: So…

Duke: I really shouldn't have told this terrible, rude, insufferable piece of person to go eat shit. I genuinely regret it. I should have told her to go eat shit and die choking, such a missed opportunity, damn, I'm still upset.

Bruce: ...

Bruce, to himself: Why am I even trying?

There are a bunch of compilations on YouTube and Tiktok “Duke Thomas-Wayne has no PR training whatsoever”. Duke personally likes every single one of them.

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

Yeah :D

YEAH!! :D

Bat boys as conversations I’ve had with my siblings:

Duke doing his homework in the kitchen with the dishwasher, the microwave, the radio, and his head phones all making noise at once.

Tim walking by: Hey, Duke can you grab me a monster out of the fridge?

Duke having heard his name and then every other word: yet got it.

Duke doesn’t move:

Tim: …

Tim: Did you hear me?

Duke: you got it man!

Tim deciding to fuck with him: Agree with me if you’re gay

Duke: yep, once I’m done with my homework!

Tim, smiling: Okay thanks.

Tim walks by him and grabs the monster himself: Glad you agreed, the pole dancers were so busy

Duke actually being able to hear him this time: Wait what.

Duke, I love you man

Duke is 1000% sure he does not want Bruce as his dad. Whenever he’s asked about it he rearranges which family member Bruce is. Everything but a father

Reporter: Mr. Thomas, have you officially been adopted into the Wayne family?

Duke: Why would my great uncle adopt me? You sound dumb.

Reporter: I– what?

Duke: Bruce Wayne's my great uncle, twice removed. He doesn’t need to adopt me. Plus I still have a dad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Teacher at a parent teacher conference with Bruce and Duke: Mr. Wayne, your son–

Duke: He’s not my dad.

Teacher: excuse me?

Duke: He’s not my dad, he’s my half brother.

Teacher:… Huh?

Duke: what? you don’t see the resemblance?

Bruce pinching the bridge of his nose, feeling a mirage brewing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Villain of the week: Why don’t you fly back to Papa bat, Day bird. This isn’t a kids game.

Duke: Excuse me, Batman is my great grandmother five times removed and you’ll respect that.

Villain, beyond confused: I– I don’t even know what to say to that man.

I have fallen into the rabbit hole of DP x DC ✋🙂‍↕️

Danny: haha I am dead yes this is very funny

Tim: *literal, intense flashbacks*

Dick: :DDD

Chapter seven of Wanted: Dead and Alive is live and it contains this ICONIC scene so like... Check it out if you would ;-;

have you ever wondered what it would be like if half-vampire Ghost was made to drink diet soda, black tea, and bourbon? you and me both, but I did my best guessing

Here's my DC Humour and/or younger readers comic collection. Some of the graphic novels on here haven't actually been released yet, but almost all of it actually has been. This is 40% humour comics, 40% animated show tie-ins, and 10% actual serious comics.

Superfriends:

DC Deluxe Collections: Superfriends Vol. 1 (Limited Collectors' Edition #41 and Superfriends #1-10)

DC Deluxe Collections: Superfriends Vol. 2 (Superfriends #11-20)

DC Deluxe Collections: Superfriends Vol. 3 (Superfriends #20-29)

DC Deluxe Collections: Superfriends Vol. 4 (Superfriends #30-39)

DC Deluxe Collections: Superfriends Vol. 5 (Superfriends #40-47 and DC Comics Presents #46)

Angel and the Ape:

DC Deluxe Collections: Angel and The Ape Vol. 1 (Showcase #77, Angel and The Ape #1-3 and Meet Angel 4-7) ✓

The Inferior Five:

DC Deluxe Collections: The Inferior Five Vol. 1 (Showcase #62-63 and Inferior Five #1-4) ✓

DC Deluxe Collections: The Inferior Five Vol. 2 (Inferior Five #5-12) ✓

Captain Carrot:

DC Deluxe Collections: Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo-Crew Vol. 1 (New Teen Titans #16, Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo-Crew #1-20 and Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo-Crew: The Oz-Wonderland War #1-3) ✓

Ambush Bug:

DC Deluxe Collections: Ambush Bug Vol. 1 (DC Comics Presents #52, #59 and #81, The New Adventures of Supergirl #16, Action Comics #560, #563 and #565 and Ambush Bug #1-4, Ambush Bug Stocking Stuffer #1, Son of Ambush Bug #1-6, Secret Origins #48, Ambush Bug Nothing Special #1 and Ambush Bug: Year None #1-5 and #7) ✓

'Mazing Man:

DC Deluxe Collections: 'Mazing Man Vol. 1 ('Mazing Man #1-12, 'Mazing Man Special #1-3 and Secret Origins #16) ✓

DCAU Batman:

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 1 (Batman Adventures #1-10) ✓

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 2 (Batman Adventures #11-20) ✓

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 3 (Batman Adventures #22-27 and annual #1)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 4 (Batman Adventures #28-36, annual #2 and Batman Adventures Holiday Special #1 and Batman Adventures: Mad Love #1)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 5 (The Batman and Robin Adventures #1-7, #9-11)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 6 (The Batman and Robin Adventures #12-21)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 7 (The Batman and Robin Adventures #22-25, annual #2, The Batman and Superman Adventures: World's Finest and The Batman and Robin Adventures: Subzero)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 8 (Batman: Gotham Adventures #1-10 and The Batgirl Adventures #1)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 9 (Batman: Gotham Adventures #11-19 and #21)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 10 (Batman: Gotham Adventures #22-31)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 11 (Batman: Gotham Adventures #32-41)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 12 (Batman: Gotham Adventures #42-51)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 13 (Batman: Gotham Adventures #52, #54-60)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Adventures Vol. 14 (Batman Adventures Vol. 2 #1-3 and #9-16)

DCAU Superman:

DC Deluxe Collections: The Superman Adventures Vol. 1 (Superman Adventures #1-12) ✓

DC Deluxe Collections: The Superman Adventures Vol. 2 (Superman Adventures #13-23, annual #1 and Superman Adventures Special: Superman vs Lobo) ✓

DC Deluxe Collections: The Superman Adventures Vol. 3 (Superman Adventures #24-33) ✓

DC Deluxe Collections: The Superman Adventures Vol. 4 (Superman Adventures #34 and #36-45) ✓

DC Deluxe Collections: The Superman Adventures Vol. 5 (Superman Adventures #47-56) ✓

DC Deluxe Collections: The Superman Adventures Vol. 6 (Superman Adventures #57-66) ✓

DCAU Batman and Superman:

DC Deluxe Collections: Batman and Superman Vol. 1 (Superman and Batman Magazine #1-8)

DCAU Justice League:

DC Deluxe Collections: Justice League Vol. 1 (Justice League Adventures #1-10) ✓

DC Deluxe Collections: Justice League Vol. 2 (Justice League Adventures #11-14) ✓

DCAU Misc:

DC Deluxe Collections: Tales of the DCAU Vol. 1 (Adventures in the DC Universe #1-8 and annual #1)

DC Deluxe Collections: Tales of the DCAU Vol. 2 (Adventures in the DC Universe #10-19)

The Batman (2004):

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Strikes! Vol. 1 (The Batman Strikes! #1-10)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Strikes! Vol. 2 (The Batman Strikes! #11-14 and #16-21)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Strikes! Vol. 3 (The Batman Strikes! #22-31)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Strikes! Vol. 4 (The Batman Strikes! #32-41)

DC Deluxe Collections: The Batman Strikes! Vol. 5 (The Batman Strikes! #42-50)

Legion of Superheroes (2006):

DC Deluxe Collections: Legion of Superheroes (2006) Vol. 1 (Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st Century #1-10)

DC Deluxe Collections: Legion of Superheroes (2006) Vol. 1 (Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st Century #11-20)

Batman: The Brave and The Bold:

DC Deluxe Collections: Batman: The Brave and The Bold Vol. 1 (Batman: The Brave and The Bold #1-10)

DC Deluxe Collections: Batman: The Brave and The Bold Vol. 2 (Batman: The Brave and The Bold #11-20)

DC Deluxe Collections: Batman: The Brave and The Bold Vol. 3 (Batman: The Brave and The Bold #21-22 and All-New Batman: The Brave and The Bold #1-8)

DC Deluxe Collections: Batman: The Brave and The Bold Vol. 4 (All-New Batman: The Brave and The Bold #9-16)

Li'l Gotham:

DC Deluxe Collections: Li'l Gotham Vol. 1 (Batman: Li'l Gotham #1-6)

DC Deluxe Collections: Li'l Gotham Vol. 2 (Batman: Li'l Gotham #7-12)

Batman and Scooby Doo:

DC Deluxe Collections: Batman and Scooby Doo Vol. 1 (The Batman and Scooby Doo Mysteries #1-12)

DC Deluxe Collections: Batman and Scooby Doo Vol. 2 (The Batman and Scooby Doo Mysteries Vol. 2 #1-12)

DC Deluxe Collections: Batman and Scooby Doo Vol. 3 (The Batman and Scooby Doo Mysteries Vol. 3 #1-12)

Tiny Titans:

Tiny Titans: Welcome to the Treehouse (Tiny Titans #1-6) ✓

Tiny Titans: Adventures in Awesomeness (Tiny Titans #7-12) ✓

Tiny Titans: Sidekickin' It (Tiny Titans #13-18) ✓

Tiny Titans: The First Rule of Pet Club (Tiny Titans #19-25) ✓

Tiny Titans: Field Trippin' (Tiny Titans #26-32)

Tiny Titans: The Treehouse and Beyond! (Tiny Titans #33-38)

Tiny Titans: Growing Up Tiny! (Tiny Titans #39-44)

Tiny Titans: Aw Yeah Titans! (Tiny Titans #45-50)

Tiny Titans: Return to the Treehouse (Tiny Titans: Return to the Treehouse #1-6 and Tiny Titans/Little Archie #1-3)

Scooby Doo! Team Up:

DC Deluxe Collections: Scooby Doo! Team Up Vol. 1 (Scooby Doo! Team Up #1-10)

DC Deluxe Collections: Scooby Doo! Team Up Vol. 2 (Scooby Doo! Team Up #11-20)

DC Deluxe Collections: Scooby Doo! Team Up Vol. 3 (Scooby Doo! Team Up #21-30)

DC Deluxe Collections: Scooby Doo! Team Up Vol. 4 (Scooby Doo! Team Up #31-40)

DC Deluxe Collections: Scooby Doo! Team Up Vol. 5 (Scooby Doo! Team Up #41-50)

Misc:

DC Who's Who Omnibus Vol. 1 (Who's Who: The Definitive Directory of the DC Universe #1-26, Who's Who: Update '87 #1-5 and Who's Who: Update '88 #1-4) ✓

DC Who's Who Omnibus Vol. 2 (Who's Who in the DC Universe #1-16, Who's Who in the Legion of Superheroes #1-7 and Who's Who Update '93 1-2) ✓

Batman: Black and White Omnibus Vol. 1(Batman: Black and White Vol. 2 #1-6 and material from Batman: Gotham Knights #1-49) ✓

Batman: Black and White Omnibus Vol. 2 (Batman: Black and White Vol. 3 #1-6)

Harley Quinn: Black and White and Red Collection (Harley Quinn: Black + White + Red #1-17 and Harley Quinn: Black + White + Redder #1-6) ✓

Superman: Red and Blue Collection (Superman: Red and Blue #1-6) ✓

Superman Family Adventures Collection (Superman Family Adventures #1-12) ✓

DC Super Powers Collection (Super Powers Vol. 4 #1-6) ✓

Collection of DC Graphic Novels for Kids Vol. 1 (Superman of Smallville, Zatanna and the House of Secrets, ArkhaManiacs, Flash Facts and Young Alfred: Pain in the Butler) ✓

Collection of DC Graphic Novels for Kids Vol. 2 (Batman: Once Upon a Crime, Batman's Mystery Casebook, Bruce Wayne: Not Super, My Buddy, Killer Croc, Dear Justice League and Dear DC Super Villians) ✓

Collection of DC Graphic Novels for Kids Vol. 3 (Black Canary: Ignite, Green Lantern: Alliance, Harley Quinn's Bud and Lou: Trouble Times Two, DC Misfits of Magic and Kanga-U: Tests and Tournaments) ✓

Wonder Woman: Black and Gold Collection (Wonder Woman: Black and Gold #1-6) ✓

DC: Super Pets Collection (DC Super Pets! Character Encyclopedia and DC League of Super-Pets: The Great Mxy-Up) ✓

We need more Duke Thomas in our lives ✊😔

duke thomas sighting / batober