Respect Old Man Fun Pics

Dammit you didn’t want to have to deal with your criminal life in sleep too

For as long as you could remember, you’ve been capable of lucid dreaming. Your dreams are always different and wildly creative, with different inhabitants and worlds. One night, you see WANTED notices plastered with your face: the universe’s most wanted galaxy hopper.

Danny, in his forties, knows he passes for two people; Bruce Wayne and some randomass reporter named Clark Kent. Which is great, because he's about to defend Bruce Wayne's son, and it'd be weird if the press thought he was just some rando.

Danny didn't want to know who the fuck Bruce Wayne was, but Sam's parents would not shut up about the guy as Danny was growing up.

So, yeah; he can recognize Bruce Wayne on site. And his children.

Not because he stalked them! It was all Sam's fault, her and her parents! Her for complaining about the Waynes, and her parents for idolizing them!

Anyways, he's pretty sure he just saw some chick drug Dick Grayson's quadruple sugar caramel frappe, and Dick drank it.

Danny doesn't really think? He kind of just moves.

Dick Grayson barely gets out a "Uh, hey-?" before Danny decks the bitch in the face hard enough to throw the woman back five feet.

She's definitely going to need a hospital.

Danny doesn't give a fuck.

Danny gives so little fucks that he just puts a very carefully gentle hand on Dick Grayson's shoulder and steers him away from the scene.

"She roofied your drink. I'm taking you to the hospital."

Or; Dick was going to allow a Trafficker to drug him, so that he could play bait. The trackers he'd swallowed would absolutely lead Jason to where he was taken, as Jason was working with him on this, but didn't meet the traffickers "type". He didn't tell Bruce he was going to do this. So when the Rohypnol starts to kick in, he's absolutely sure he sees Bruce come in out of nowhere and wreck the Trafficker's shit. The randos filming the incident think they just saw someone's dad almost murder a bitch, and then heard said dad mention roofies. When the videos are posted online, and the dad is "identified" as Bruce Wayne, Bruce has three things happen. First; he's getting a lawsuit from the woman. Second; he's also getting notified through this that he has a doppleganger or clone. He will need to investigate, as he needs to thank the man. Third; his image has become pristine in the eyes of Gotham, and has also become yet another wholesome meme.

*exports you as a jpeg* *and turns the quality waaaaay down*

Not a lot of people really utilize the fact that the gods of the ancient world were super messed up, did jacked up stuff to people for minor inconveniences, and legit did horrific things for the lols and billy being a child is probably just as likely to do weird things to people with his magic if he feels justified in their Billy head canons: let’s change that

Someone on Twitter @s the justice league official account in their rage tweet and Shazam/Marvel has volunteered to run the account for a few days while the league’s usual guy is out. It seems like a great idea at the time, he’s well known as super friendly guy and even though he’s pretty immature at times he always seems to be the best at deescalating hostile situations with the guidance of what he calls ‘the wisdom of Solomon’.

For a good while Marvel tried to reason with them, giving evidence to the contrary for every accusation, defending his fellow league members, and owning up to his own mistakes and promises that while the league does the best they can, they aren’t perfect. None of it is good enough for them though, they argue in circles for hours.

Finally he just says, “sir, your home will be a beacon for hoards of snakes, the harvest you wish to reap will be drowned by the rain you prayed for, your milk will curdle in your mouth, and your rage will only burn yourself with every poisoned word”

And not even an hour later that person tweets that a long term work project has just been ruined for this or that reason, their coffee is rancid because they didn’t check the date on the creamer when they bought it, posts photos of at least 12 snakes writhing in their bathtub, oh and they’ve been called out for being a jerk by everyone keeping up with the thread.

Marvel/Shazam is never allowed on the Justice League Twitter again.

I think you mean Goose and Fury interactions

“Hello, kitten-“ “Ummmm… human sir? That is an eldritch being. Not pet. Do not touch.” “Look, it’s fine. If it looks like a cat, it is a cat.” eldritch purring sounds

*wheezes*

I had to draw it

RAPUNZEL HAS BROWN EYEBROWS

Like I know it makes sense that she has brown eyebrows but it shows how the magic just affected the hair on the scalp which is really interesting that it was only a small part her phenotypes that were effected by the magic and that means that her eyebrows lack magic? kinda. It’s a dumb thing that I noticed but I think it’s really cool

I have given in to the calling ...im now sitting in the kitchen eating baby bell’s in the dark on the floor, life is good.

I want cheese. more specifically the baby bell cheese I have down stairs, but I have already brushed my teeth and im too lazy to do it again. tis a great dilemma, to cheese or not to cheese

"Danny was born a Wayne" AU except he's Bruce's grand uncle. The result of a one time drunken affair, shortly before Kenneth Wayne's death, to a young unmarried woman who gave the baby up for adoption.

(Whether the Fenton's, and therefore Amity, were just ahead of their times or the DC timeline is shifted a bit so that DP happens in its cannon era is up to you. Dealers choice, though now that i know about her i just love badass widowed prohibition leader Laura Elizabeth Wayne)

Danny grows up knowing hes adopted and loved by the Fentons but something (dealer's choice) happens and he loses his family and friends (maybe the whole town goes too?). In an attempt to avoid a Dan situation he flees into the Infinite Realm and doesn't stop.

He just wanders, time passes in its weird Realms way, not that Danny truly notices. A protector spirit thats lossed everything it protected. Its a wonder he doesn't fade and he actually might've if it wasn't for his human side.

But its a tug at his core that brings him from his near catatonic wandering. Gone before he can even understand it but enough to shake him back to himself. Enough to know that hes nowhere near ready to go anywhere familiar so he continues on, his wandering no less pointless but at least he's aware again.

What feels like a relatively short time later he gets another tug, and this time he manages to follow it.

He follows it invisibly through a natural portal that drops him somewhere in New Jersey and all the way to a fancy hospital room in the gloomiest city he's ever seen.

In there he sees his half brother Patrick Wayne, though he wont figure out their connection for a few more years, holding little Agatha. She's adorable in her little dress and pigtails and her sweet face causes that familiar tug he recognizes from what must have been six years ago given the girls age.

Then a nurse comes in and hands a little bundle to what must be the mother (whos name i cant find) and Danny takes one look at the little core tugger who brought him here and just melts. Even without knowing yet that this is his last remaining family, his instincts latch on and he vows to protect and care for the Waynes.

And he does.

He finds his forgetful brother's documents and keeps Aggy company when everyone else is busy and soothes baby Thomas so his poor sister-in-law can get some more sleep. He ices fevers and bruised knees and helps on later games of hide and seek.

He very rarely becomes visible and only to the children. His grief over the Fenton's convinces him its better to protect his new family from the shadows.

Danny explores every inch of the manor, including secret passages and an underground cave system. He claims a forgotten room in the back of the attic as his own, which over the years fill up with knickknacks, heirlooms, and pictures of the family. Even a gift or two from Agatha, who hadn't stopped believing in their shadowy guardian like her brother did when Danny felt they were too old to see him without drawing suspicion.

The manor becomes his haunt and he always knows where each family member is within it. And when any guests have some no good intentions.

And when baby Bruce is born tugging at his core and with the bluest little eyes, he welcomes the fussy little thing. And makes sure dear Martha never knows just how fussy baby Bruce really is, otherwise she might've never had a full nights sleep.

Danny blames himself for not being there when Thomas and Martha die, and promises to never leave Bruces side, practically becoming the boy's living shadow. Watching over him as he gets older, secretly aiding him in his training. Danny feels a bit of pride when Bruce takes some inspiration from the old stories Thomas told him of the shadowy Wayne family protector when creating his Batman identity, glad his nephew still remembers him even if he hasn't shown himself since the now young man was six.

Danny continues to protect and care for the family in a variety of ways over the years even as the family grows.

Lightening Alfred's workload, softening Dick's falls, calming Jason's temper both pre and post pit, hiding Tim's coffee when the boy hasn't slept in far too long, providing plenty of shadows and hiding nooks for Cass, helping Damian hide the litter of kittens he found.

And no one seems to know he's there, except maybe Cass and he's pretty sure Alfred has been know since he first started working for the family. No one knows, that is, until Duke Thomas moves in and lookes right at him watching invisibly from the sidelines.

(@omnicrafts @dcxdpdabbles @hdgnj @ailithnight @nelkcats @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 i dont know, the main point of all this is that Danny's been protecting the Wayne family for decades and no one, except maybe Alfred, knew until Duke moved in)

fell asleep wondering how body disposal would work in a world were humans evolved more like turtles or giant clams, and had a thick carapace, huge and tougher than our current skeletal system. imagine how inconvenient it would be for a murderer trying to get rid of a body--how do u dispose of the giant fucking shell? also coffins would be a different shape, more like an ellipsoid? human skeletons usually take less than a century to disintegrate, but imagine if we had a exoskeleton that was prone to fossilization. the study of archeology would be very, very affected. also i assume we wouldn't be able to sleep on our backs anymore? how would beds be shaped. what would a world run by turtle-humans look like. would we cover our shells with fabric/clothing or decorate them like we do fingernails? or just straight up do airbrush art? would graffiti be a social issue? someone spray paints u while you're sleeping and u have to pay to have your shell professionally sandpapered? there are so many sociological implications

these are the thoughts that come to me at night