One Of My All Time Favourite Tweets From Taliesin, Reach Out To Your Support System

#5'8"

me finding out my mutual is one inch taller than me

This aged so well 🍷

can't wait to see people draw Davrin in all sorts of heroic poses fit for illustrations of Arthurian legends, Bellara in pretty pastel sundresses, Emmrich wearing nothing but copious amounts of gold jewelry, Taash in bodybuilder poses (and shirts with the sleeves cut off and the sides scooped), Harding in the coziest of furs, Neve in suits and posed like a Leyendecker illustration, and Lucanis lit like a Rembrandt looking menacingly back over his shoulder, and for everyone to be so fucking correct

Thinking about how Ingellvar!Rook being in a relationship with Emmrich looks to the rest of the Mourn Watch.

One of the most high ranking and respected Mourn Watchers goes on sabbatical to apparently help save the world?? And he comes back with motherfucking Ingellvar??? Y'know, that crypt orphan Watcher who took one for the team so hard that they had to be sent out of the fucking country to keep the nobles from getting nasty???? And apparently they're back at it again with the taking one for the team schtick, because they're the one spearheading the saving the world thing????? And people call them Rook now??????

But amidst all that, the real kicker is that Volkarin and Ingellvar are obviously fucking. And possibly 10 seconds away from getting married. The amount of Not Giving A Shit What The Nobility Think coming off of Volkarin for this is staggering. The brass balls on that man. And what a comeback for Ingellvar. Left in big trouble, returned on the arm of The Hot Professor. No one is doing it like them.

I like to think that Myrna is proud of them both in different ways, Emmrich for letting himself make such a connection and Rook for choosing an excellent partner. Vorgoth is offering their wishes of ABUNDANT EXULTATION or some shit.

Meanwhile, the rest of the order is either losing their shit in various ways or just straight up confused. Either way, these two have got to be the talk of the Necropolis.

and, of course:

Emmrich Volkarin + the sluttiest thing a man can do

It's my 10 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳 and I really only started using it in the last three months. Like, I signed up 10 years ago and then just never used it 😂

I'm working on some #bg3 fanfic stuff, with more to come as the inspiration hits.

Emmrich Volkarin would be such a disruptive presence to the local online dating app pools. An innocuous hookup with a handsome Vincent Price looking older guy. He's unsinister. Clearly takes care of himself. One of his profile pictures is from the day he got his doctorate. He shows up to the agreed-upon location and he's brought flowers. Okay...whatever. Some decent food (UberEats? The Chinese place on the corner? Maybe he cooks?) and some crazy hot sex later and the subject of his very soft hands just so happens to come up. Oh, he says. It's the embalming fluid. EMBALMING FLUID? OKAY. Dude's a mortician. Sure.

He gets up and puts on his clothes. He stares out the window for a few moments. Just long enough to be a little awkward.

"Do you have an uncle who recently passed?" he says. "By the name of Gerard. Gerry?"

WHAT.

"I'm so sorry," he sighs, dragging a hand through his hair. "He wants to tell you that your mother hid something from you underneath the floorboards of the blue bedroom. Does that make sense?"

Unfortunately, yes.

"Right," says Emmrich Volkarin. His hair is still sticking up from being clutched into by ecstatic hands. He is ten minutes post-orgasm and looks so, so annoyed. He only brightens a little when he says, "Thank you for a lovely night. You were wonderful."

Then he leaves in an almost-silent swish of expensive trousers and a plume of even more expensive cologne.

The only further contact from him is a message that says Your uncle spoke to me before we retired to your bedroom. I assure you his spirit was not present or aware of our sexual encounter.

I'm gonna need you to lose my number Emmrich, is the response from most people

There is a sadness about him.

He's sweet, considerate. He can do crazy things with his tongue. He also needs someone who can match his freak on a molecular level.

Understood, he responds.

At some point he pops up on the TV because he's become a regular on a well-loved YouTube channel. One of those phenomenally popular longform documentary-style series about ghosts or true crime. He's apparently the expert medium. The host of the show, some thirty-something named after a chess piece, looks at him like he hung the stars while he monologues about demons who imitate children. Or something.

Good for him.

Stick Season by Noah Kahan has me in a chokehold my gaaaawd

Y'all ever just suddenly have the overwhelming urge to swim??? Like not actively but you just wanna,,, be in the water and have some Peace

“can mutuals dm you?” my mutuals can fire me from a cannon through a brick wall, looney tunes style. as long as we’re all having fun