Rachelsynapses - Rachel 🌚

One night // SHAWN MENDES

Overview: you’re in a relationship but you’re in love with Shawn- the only reason you’re not with him is because you’re scared of being hurt. One night things get heated between you and Shawn and feelings are confessed.

Requested: YASSS

Authors note: sooooo this is new

“So how’s Jeff?” his eyes glint mischievously as he turns to look at me, our attention quickly focusing on the other rather then the movie.

“Jeff?” I hum, raising an eyebrow at him.

“You know, your boyfriend?” the way he says it makes shivers crawl up my spine.

“He’s good,” I murmur, turning away from him.

“Just good?” he prods, nudging my side with his elbow making me squirm.

“He’s amazing,” I sigh, looking back a him. “He’s so kind and patient, never rushes me into anything I don’t want to do.” I pause, my eyes locked onto Shawn’s, his face blank of emotions.

“He listens to me, I listen to him. We work well together,”

“Do you think he might be the one?” Shawn questions just above a whisper.

No words come out my mouth as I stare at him. Was my relationship with Jeff endgame? I had no clue.

“Why would you ask me that?” Instead comes out my mouth.

“Curious,” he whispers and in that moment it felt like the room heated up. It felt like the skin of my thigh that was resting against Shawn’s was on fire.

“I don’t know, its too soon,” I whisper back, unaware that I was moving closer to him.

“You’ve been dating for 7 months,” Shawn states, reciprocating my movement.

“Does that mean I have to know now?” I asks sarcastically and Shawn smirks.

“Its usually a good clue for a relationship,” Shawn looks like he wants to say something else.

“Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t,” I shrug. There was tension in the room, something that was unsaid between our friendship that was bound to come out soon. That time seemed to be now.

“Do you love him?” Shawn’s eyes blaze at the question, passion glowing in them.

“I don’t know,” I breathe the words, my face inches from his. I hadn’t even realize we’d gotten this close. The last time I’d been in a position like this with him was 9 months ago- before Jeff- where Shawn and I had kissed.

Deep in my soul, I knew I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to feel his heated lips pressed against my own as my hands trailed up his back to tangle in his hair. I shouldn’t want this- crave this, especially when I had Jeff.

“Why did you run away from me last time?” Shawn asks me quietly, immediately I know he’s thinking about the same thing I am.

“I..” I can’t find the words again. “I was scared,”

He freezes, his nose brushing the tip of mine and my cheeks burn at the contact, his presence did things to my body that never occurred when I was with Jeff.

“Of me?” his eyes drop to my lips before flicking back up.

“I don’t think I could ever be scared of you Shawn,” the thought making a smile appear on my face at the absurd question.

“Then what?” His tone is soft, weary. This is the most we’ve ever talked about it. After our moment of passion I had fled- not wanting to see Shawn. After that searing kiss I had buried my emotions in fear of being hurt by him.

“I didn’t want you to break my heart,” I gulp, the truth finally out in the open.

“Y/n, I would never dream of breaking your heart,” Shawn whispers, his hands reaching up to cup my face.

“I know,” For some weird reason I’m crying. Shawn however, simply wipes away the fallen tears.

“The last thing I want is to see you hurt because of me,” he whispers. Jeff doesn’t even cross my mind as my best friend inches closer to me until his lips are about to brush mine.

“I wish that what I knew now, I knew ages ago,” he says and its like time has frozen, its just me and him.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble and he smiles but it looks fake.

“I wish you were mine, I know I’m selfish to want this when you have a boyfriend but you do crazy things to me,” His words pull me in until its like I’m drowning in them.

“There’s nothing wrong-” I don’t even bother finishing my sentence, my breathing rugged as his hands crawl to hold my waist, my skin feeling hot where his thumb lazily rubs the exposed area.

“One night,” he mutters, to himself or me I’m unsure. “I want you for one night, all mine,”

Then his lips are upon mine and its everything I’ve imagined from last time. He tastes the same, minty with a slight hint of the tea he always seems to be drinking.

My hands are in his hair as he’s pulling me closer, his lips feverishly pressing into mine and I’m shaking from the feeling of his body against mine.

Not once do I think of my boyfriend as Shawn picks me up, carrying me to his bedroom to place me on the bed.

I don’t think about how he’s at home right now, trusting me, as my shirt is being discarded on the floor.

I don’t think about how he’s been perfect in every aspect that a boyfriend could be as my jeans are peeled off my legs and Shawn crawls between them, his skin flush against mine.

All that crosses my mind is how Shawn is here, right now, kissing me, holding me, touching me. Friends don’t do this. Friends don’t feel this way about each other. A girlfriend doesn’t feel this way when she’s in a relationship with someone else.

Shawn’s damp forehead presses against mine as he raises his arms to press my hands against the mattress, entwining our fingers together as I cry out softly at the feeling of Shawn.

“I’m in love with you,” My eyes snap to meet his in the dimly lit room, his eyes filled with adoration and love. Just like Jeff’s.

“I love you,” I can’t help but whimper back at him. He murmurs it again, repeating it over and over as the night slowly fades away and the morning approaches.

When I wake up, he’s not next to me. I sit up, my stomach a mess of emotions. I slept with Shawn. That same sentence on loop inside my head.

Chucking a shirt over my head I make my way to the kitchen where I hear Shawn’s voice.

“Yeah no sorry she’s still here, she fell asleep and it was late,” his tone is impassive and I feel my stomach drop to the floor.

“Yeah I’ll tell her you called, bye,” He puts his phone on the bench, running his hands through his hair and tugging on the ends in a stressful manor.

“Shawn?” I ask softly. He turns around at my voice.

“Hey,” He smiles at me.

“Who was that?” My voice tremors, both of us knowing that I already knew the answer.

“Jeff,” I still take a sharp intake of breath at the name.

“Y/n,” Shawn breaks the silence. “I want you to know that not for one second last night that anything I said was a lie, I meant every word,” he’s searching my face, looking for a sign that I feel the same.

“Shawn,” I whisper, I’m scared I’ve stuffed everything up.

“Y/n please, no, don’t tell me last night was a mistake,” He’s tearing up quickly and it makes my heart clench. “You told me you loved me,” His voice wobbles and it tips me over the edge.

“I’m sorry,” I sob, my hand wiping my watery eyes. “I’m so sorry,”

“No, no,” I’ve never seen Shawn cry until now. “Please don’t tell me you’re going back to him,”

“I never lied last night Shawn,” He tries to smile but fails miserably. “But I cheated Shawn, Jeff never deserved that.”

“I should have stopped it when I could have,” He turns away from me, his shoulders shaking slightly.

“Hey,” I walk over to him, placing a hand on his bare shoulder.

He turns slightly to me and I wipe away one of his tears and he sniffles, smiling, doing the same to me.

“Last night wasn’t a mistake for me, it was a mistake in a sense that we shouldn’t have done that when I was in a relationship but our feelings couldn’t stay hidden forever,” he pulls me into his chest as I comfort him with my words.

“I’m sorry about how it happened,” He mutters into my hair.

“I’m going to go home and talk to Jeff about everything, I just hope I haven’t ruined his trust in relationships,” I trail off, the guilt simmering in my stomach.

“We all make mistakes,” Shawn leans back to look at me, holding my face in hands. “You’re human and it happens, we can’t take it back,” A silence fills the room.

“I’m going to come back here tomorrow, we’re going to talk about us,” I tell him softly.

“There’s an us?” Shawn asks, shock written across his features.

“I love you, remember?”