Honestly, It Is Your Fault That You're Still Here 🤷🏽‍♀️ (long Rant Incoming...)

ok what!! Even my teacher believes it,i just know this is a sign

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*.˗ˏˋ Use DEILD to enter the void in secondsˎ˗.*

~featuring a lucid dreamer’s unintended success story I found on YouTube~

Incoming Topics..

*PART 1 <RECAP: What is Deild? >*

*PART 2 < The success story >*

*PART 3 < How to use DEILD for the Void >*

*PART I < What is the DEILD method? > *

If you haven’t read my original post on DEILD I have linked it down below towards the end of this one. I recommend checking it out for an in depth tutorial on the method, but I’ll give a quick explanation here as well-

To put it simply, it is a technique that is traditionally used to get fast and easy lucid dreams. Upon waking you lie still and keep your eyes closed, tricking your body into thinking that you never woke up and then within seconds the dream reforms except now you’re aware in it! You can also create a new dream or you might enter a false awakening which becomes a lucid dream. This method works SO QUICKLY it’s seriously like a LD method shortcut!

I’ve heard of lucid dreamers talking about the void before but after watching a YouTubers video about a lucid dream he had, I realized he actually used the DEILD technique to go straight to the void in SECONDS, unintentionally! Which is something I hadn’t thought about doing before-merging the lucid dream technique WITH 👏🏼 THE VOID 👏🏼 TECHNIQUES!! 👏🏼 So for those of you attempting to enter the void state from a lucid dream, this can be used as a SHORTCUT on top of a SHORTCUT! 🙌🏼 Yes ma’ammmm y’all seriously need to come try this one out because when I say SECONDS I’m talking secondsss-no more waiting 20 minutes for your left brain to turn off, no more long breath work exercises or reality checks or hours of lying still, affirming, no more battling with creating portals-the void can be EFFORTLESS and induced in under a minute.

*PART 2 < The lucid dreamer’s success story> *

There’s this lucid dreamer on YouTube called TIGER123 who posts about lucid dreaming techniques and his own lucid dream experiences- he actually has a video tutorial on DEILD as well (which is linked in my OG DEILD post)

So, I was at work looking for something to watch and saw he posted a new video about a lucid dream he had recently. Well, I can tell you wasn’t expecting him to literally open the video by talking about how he woke up from a regular dream, realized it was the perfect opportunity to perform DEILD and get lucid, and then. AS HE’S PERFORMING DEILD. He enters the void! Just like that. While he was in the void he visualized the dream scene he wanted to be in and he said he was there within 10 seconds. Aka he instantly manifested entering the exact lucid dream he wanted to be in, from the void state.

This is someone who doesn’t believe in shifting or astral projection, wasn’t trying to enter the void, thinks the void is just an unformed lucid dream space that can be used to form a new lucid dream, doesn’t know you can manifest from that state and yet STILL got in and STILL manifested. Since he viewed the void as a place he can form a new lucid dream thats what he did. He still manifested instantly, he just MANIFESTED going from the VS to being in a lucid dream. This should just go to show you guys how REAL the void state is, because someone who doesn’t even know about it and wasn’t trying to get in STILL did it. (SO CAN YOU btw)

The void isn’t a concept created on tumblr. Lucid dreamers have experienced it for years, meditators experience it, yogis, followers of Neville Goddard and multiple religious practices do too; It’s just called by different names and defined differently, but all the experiences describe the same thing. So if tumblr success stories aren’t trustworthy enough to you, or motivating enough-expand your research and find hundreds of stories similar to this one-lucid dreamers thinking it’s just an unformed dream and yogis thinking it’s just a really relaxing deep meditative state etc…

*PART 3< How To Use DEILD to enter the VS> *

I linked the video at the bottom, he doesn’t really talk about the void much or deild because the video is about the actual contents of the dream he had, but the part he does talk about it is right at the beginning, the first 30 seconds or so, if you’re curious in checking it out but this is pretty much what he said about it, written out-

“First I was in a space dream and then I woke up and kind of realized I had just woken up from a dream and was able to stay still and kind of reenter into it and fall back asleep and I ended up in the void. You know that like complete blackness where it’s really easy to reform the dream and since I was there I figured I would just try to go to the beach because when I’m in this void state I can really go anywhere I want. I just reformed the beach and I ended up on the exact beach I was imagining in like 10 seconds.”

So boom. Thats’s it thats ALL. That simple. So here’s the exact steps to do if you want to enter the void through DEILD too and be the next success story:

Before bed: affirm “I will remember to stay still upon awakening. I will effortlessly enter the void using DEILD” or some variation of this (optional)

Visualize yourself waking up, staying still, and entering the void state (optional)

Go to sleep, with the calm certainty that this will work.

Wake up. Keep your eyes closed and lie still

You can keep a blank mind and wait, trusting that your subconscious will induce the void automatically, since you already set the intention the night before

5a. Or right after waking, with your eyes closed you can begin affirming that you are pure consciousnes and imagine yourself already in the void, or imagine yourself sinking gently down into the void state until you are truly there. This method is so effective you should be in the state within a minute or less.

And remember, the void state can’t be forced, just like sleep can’t be forced. All you can do is create the right conditions for it to occur naturally. It’s okay if you don’t get it right away. Focus on trust, not control. Avoid over analyzing whether it’s working while you’re performing the technique, just allow it to flow and happen. You saw he just literally lied still waiting for the dream to form and then he was in. It’s that effortless. Give it a go and report back in the comments 🫶🏼 Happy enteringgg

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*.˗ˏˋ DEILD ´ˎ˗.*

*.˗ˏˋ DEILD- The Quickest And Easiest Method To Lucid Dream That I know ´ˎ˗.* Listennnn, I love the lucid dream method down. It is AND

Believe in yourself, you are the strongest being there is✨️

Rafayel (merman x siren reader)

Notes: This was written based on Rafayel’s rut which was presented in the Ebb and Flow card

Summary: You went out hunting to feed your sick merman lover, but he doesn’t seem to be hungry, at least not in that way.

Event host: this fic was written for Monster Mash Event, hosted by lovely @nanamiscocksleeve

Warnings: MDNI, gore, manslaughter, merman goes into rut, public sex

W/c: 1.2k

“Captain, we’re very close to that area now”

“Prepare the spears, net, every crew member gets to the harpoon gun now. We only get one chance, either we catch it or it’s the last day for all of us”

With the captain’s order, everyone quickly rushes to the ship's sides. All eyes were focused on the sudden movement of the waves, so no one paid attention to the piercing eyes locking on their backs. It’s not until the first note sang out that they realized their mistake. 

“Everyone, plug your ears. NOW!!” The captain's screams couldn’t reach their ears anymore, since it was filled with the most heavenly voice they’d ever heard. Can this be considered a peaceful death - when your heart was fluttering, mind clouded and blurry by a symphony? You wouldn’t say that, because only 10 seconds after hearing your song, the hallucination starts. One by one, the crew members collapsed onto the floor, some jumped and fed themselves to the hungry monster under the deep sea. Their hands reach to the nearest weapons, frantic red eyes looking like it’s gonna be popped out by how irritated the blood vessels got, having to witness their own death caused by their own hands. 

You don’t feel any grief for being that cruel to them. Humans share many similar features with sirens, even more than they have with mermaids. But they are all so weak, no really, they don’t have a pair of wings behind their backs or feathers on their thighs to protect them from the harsh weather like your kind do, nor do they have tails to move fast underwater like mermaids. That’s why they are only lower species who are destined to be feasted on. You keep rambling while tearing their breast out with your sharp claws, their constant begging falls on deaf ears. You’re not familiar with skinning humans so some organs were mixed with meat and fat, normally there’s another one that would deal with this task and you just gonna let them feed you the best bits. You couldn’t help grinning from ear to ear, thinking how proud of you he’s gonna be when you bring him this fresh heart that’s still beating slowly on your bloody palm. 

As you fly back home, you find his silhouette resting on the entrance, where the waves can reach his merman’s tail. 

“Babyyy I’m back. Look what I got!”

He huffs, narrowing his eyes.

“Couldn’t you tell me already? Gosh, the smell is awful. Human meat?”

You’re taken aback by his cold and sarcastic demeanor but quickly brush it off, considering he’s not in his best condition. 

“It’s a human heart. I hope it can cheer you up or at least make you less grumpy”

You reach out to pat his hair, it always does a great job to calm him down. Before you even touched his blue strand, your wrist was grabbed firmly by his hand. 

“You went hunting alone? Do you know how dangerous it is? They have weapons that can kill us in a heartbeat. Why didn’t you tell me first?” 

The heat spreading from his palm feels like it can burn your delicate skin, you try to struggle out of his hold but to no avail. 

“But you needed to rest. I’m fully capable of killing them alone, there weren’t even a scratch”

“You’re covered in blood. Next time don’t do unnecessary things like this. You smell like dead people.” He continues his nagging, there’s no point in getting hurt over his words, you know he would never say things like this in the right headspace. You put the bloody heart aside and clean all the nasty blood on your feathers, it seems to be clear that he doesn’t want any snack right now. 

As you finish cleaning up, you take a seat on his big tail, careful not to scratch him accidentally with your sharp claws. His body stiffens when you sit on his lap, grunting in his throat as your hand touches his forehead to check his body heat.

“Raf? This body temperature is not normal at all! What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine” his hands gripping on your waist to stop you from squirming on his lap, “It happens once a year. I just sleep it off” 

Once a year? Suddenly everything clicks in your mind.

“You’re in a rut, aren’t you?” Every signal is checked: abnormal body heat, labored breathing, dilated pupils, unexplainable mood swings…He doesn’t reply but his eyes shift to his lower abdomen. Your gaze follows him to find his thin fabric was drenched in precum. Blood rushes to your cheek and your heart beats with excitement when you pull it down, revealing his enormous erection. Merman’s manhood in general is way bigger than that of sirens, but it’s especially huge today, the heavy red tip rests on his belly, waiting to pump his seed all over your fertile flower. 

Your heavy wings spread out, covering your bodies from the outside world to get some privacy. 

“Don’t” 

“What?” your eyes looking up all confused.

“Don’t spread your wings. I want everyone to see that you’re mine to claim.”

You do just as you were told to, not without looking around to check for anyone around first. You don’t dare to confess, but the thought of someone watching you being such a slut for your lover caused waves of arousal inside you. Just from the smirk on his lips, you can tell he knows it already. 

He nearly choked on his breath when you ran your hand down his erected shaft, his tail splashes the waves impatiently. You kiss your way down his abdomen, licking and biting on his skin. Your mouth can only take half of his length, the rest have your hands do the work. Within minutes of you sucking his sensitive tip, he pushes your head away. His cock twitches angrily, begging for friction. 

“I need to feel you, please. I’ll make up for you later, but I really have to cum inside you”

With a nod from you, he aligns his tip clumsily and thrusts all the way in, reaching your womb. It doesn’t go any softer after he finishes, but the semen acts as an aphrodisiac to you. Your inside burns with the slow thrusts and lazy strokes on your bundle of nerves, so much that you sob into his chest, begging him to pick up the pace. At night, when your womb has no space for his cum anymore, that’s when he comes back to normal and peppers you with kisses. You’re sure that your eggs are all fertilized now, and he’ll need to find a bigger cave for your crowded family tomorrow. 

There’s so many things to prepare, but now, you just sleep in each other’s embrace without any care and leave it for tomorrow. Such an odd thing that two species who have nothing in common fell in love with each other. It’s truly beautiful, how you two can find out a whole new world that you’ve never known of, he’s the deep dangerous sea that you craved for one time to dive in, and you’re the cloud, the moon, the sun he couldn’t reach. Everything just feels right being with the right person, no matter the differences.

Simple guide on manifesting ✨

Choosing what you want to manifest. This is genuinely the hardest part. Especially if you are a beginner and you think you choose something a bit out of reach for you.... no. Anything is possible. This is classic but even the word impossible has Im possible in it. The thing with this is if you are trying for the first time and have had bad experiences or are expecting bad you are going to try and go for something more attainable or completely over consume. AND THATS OK. Practice is great. Go for what you think is smaller if it helps you ease. But you can manifest even with doubts bc despite the misinformation you don't need to "feel" like you have it. What happens a lot is people give up and stop persisting when they don't see it in the 3d. So they have "backup options". And then they create this cycle of fear that if they didn't manifest this, will this work?? RELAX!! It will.

Persisting. Of course you've heard a dozen times before but why do you think its so popular. Now here you're going to persist until your desires materialize in the 3d. AKA when your subconscious mind has been impressed. Even in doubt you will persist bc it does not make a difference. You will THINK like the person who has it not feel if you can't. Thats literally it.

TIPS:

In order to think like the person living in the end you can write a story from that POV, affirm, meditate, guided meditations to help you relax, I use subs that use present tense, affirmation tapes, SATs, and sm more.

A little tidbit of my own is affirming that the 3d is no more real than a dream. Im going to make a separate posts in all the ways dreaming and the 3d are so similar. That way you can say stuff like "ah this doesn't matter its just a dream in the true reality I have everything I want." This can also induce lucid dreams because I do reality checks and confirm to myself that im dreaming and immediately start meditating to "ground myself" for 5 seconds by doing this Ive done it in my dreams.

Refocus to the 4d if you're ever in doubt. Everything right now, isn't real not time, or physical objects. Go back to the imagination. Its kind of funny right how everyone gaslighted us into believing imagination is not the reality and we had to "come back to the real world" LMOA its literally vice versa.

If you are persisting and don't see it in the 3d, don't you dare give up to manifest something more "attainable" this creates a loop where you go back to number 1 over and over. Remember you already have it. How do you know? Because this is no more real than a dream and you are the validation.

Accept the 4d as the only real reality

If you have had "failed attempts" Revise. Bc in the 4d no you didn't??? Ex. all those failed pure conscious attempts are not real , you actually have induced them in the 4d. If you keep persisting and accept that all those "attempts" worked, the 3d will conform.

Reminding yourself you have something and reality checks are the same thing. Going back to my prevoius point about my own tidbit. The most biggest similarity in the 3d and dreaming is you can control both using the 4d. We all know how reality checks work right. Persisting works the same way. I mentioned this in a previous tip above. I’ll do many reality checks confirming the 3d is a dream (bc it’s not real and stuff) and I’ll “ground myself” this allows me to trigger lucid dreams when I sleep AND I’ll add in something like “ofc I’m dreaming in the true reality I have —-“. That’s literally how manifestation works. If something “ fails” NO IT DIDNT. If you got a bad grade after manifesting in a good one, what? But you did get a good grade. In your 4d the real reality. Remember. Remind yourself that none of this is real. You did get that A. You are dreaming. None of this is real.

There are no such things as failed attempts. AGAIN going back to the prevoius tip with revision. That did happen. You did shift. Let’s do a “which reality am I in” check right now. Oh and would u look at that you are in your dr.

I’m definitely going to post more about the last two bullet points to give more clarification.

UPDATE: posted a link explaining the second last point, it's right on it. I put one on accepting the 4d as well one mentioning time. Also I will make one on the last point later. I think most of this is clear but if u want me to post on any other point lmk.

~ with love, Jyspire

💗

don't forget who you are.

A limitless creator. Consciousness. A piece of god, or a god if that sounds easier. 

The point is, stop limiting yourself. Stop trying, stop forcing, stop it all for a second. It wasn’t until I realized how much of a control freak I really was this past week plus. How limiting I really was and it wasn’t until I read source again, along with threads from mutuals to really hit a home run. 

I kept being afraid of the world outside of me because of how it looked, how other people reacted to who I was, and because of how I perceived it all, I always thought living in fear was how to live. Growing up, I thought negativity was always a good thing. 

“Always remember, life is struggle.” “You can’t always get what you want.” “You can’t live in a dream world.” “You can’t do this because of xyz” “You’re not capable of reaching these goals” “Money is always hard to get.” “Love is never something you should want, it always hurts you. It removes sight of your goals.” “You can’t get this, stop trying to reach for the stars. Reach for a branch instead.” “You have to work hard to get what you want, or else you’ll fail.” They became normal to me, it was a branch I was holding onto for dear life, for some sense of reality. I always thought being “realistic” was the right way to go, to appease my family, to please others in life, to not focus on myself because that would mean I’m “selfish”. Still, to this day, I kept thinking that I was my stress, my anxiety, the world around me, the fears of my past, the doubts I've thought of, all of it.

I wasn’t. EVER. 

Honestly, even today, as I’m typing this blog, I had fear spike into me again. I had to really sit down and ask myself, why? Who was I being? Why was I being this? It wasn’t until I overconsumed yet again in my fear-filled state, searching for answers outside of me when I truly realized something today. 

I forgot how limitless I truly was. 

Hell, why learn the law? Why KNOW about the law if I was forgetting who I was? Why in the name of everything nice in this world was I forgetting that imagination/mind/consciousness was my only reality? I still needed to unlearn the fact that I can’t force myself to believe, I shouldn’t. It wasn’t until I read this thread, and Nyx’s (@nyxcreate) posts on tumblr and twitter again to realize the amount of limitations I was putting onto myself. Seriously, WHY was I making this so hard on myself? On my mindset? On who I was being? Another person I who I really look up to made a thread as well, which seriously resonated with me. This one.

While reading Nyx’s posts, I came across her thread on why she didn’t believe in persisting. To which, I wholeheartedly agree. If I was already that person, I wouldn’t be pounding my head with visuals to BE or GET something, I wouldn’t be forcing perfection onto something where perfection genuinely can’t exist. Remove rules and limitations and see how easier it gets. 

I won’t lie, it wasn’t easy. Ever since I learned about the law a few years ago, unlearning the limitations and “rules” life had placed onto me was hard. It wasn’t something I believed overnight or in a second, not when I was seeing those same patterns out in the world.

After what I read, here’s what I learned: Persistence (not in the way you think) wasn’t necessary - I mentioned this in my “states are a mindset” blog too, that persisting isn’t something you’re doing to GET something, it’s to become more comfortable being that person. Agreed. Think about it this way, you wanted to wear a red sweater today and eat hot cheetos, you wore a red sweater and you ate your hot cheetos, are you thinking about it all day? Are you forcing to remind yourself that you ate your hot cheetos and you’re wearing a red sweater? Are you always going back to it? I don’t think so. Sure, you might get a fleeting thought of “dang, I actually look good in this red sweater!” or “i actually got what i wanted to eat” (even if you don’t, that is genuinely completely fine.” But the notion that you need to persist to “become the change” or “to make it natural” was absurd to me, still is. You limit yourself when you think that you need to persist to “become another person” or to “get my sp”. Be so real with yourself, if you had that sp would you be pounding your head with affs that you have them? Would you constantly be visualizing scenes of you two being together 24/7? Really, ask yourself this. If you had the perfect body, you would just be that person, you would be confident and love your body. 

HOWEVER, this isn’t to say that if you enjoy methods to not do them! If I remembered at the end of the day that I wore a red sweater and ate hot cheetos, I might see it as a visual that happens naturally, never forced.  You only really “persist” to keep a change, to acknowledge the identity you have kept for yourself. To remind yourself that you have changed and are now not desiring. Heck, you can even choose NOT to persist if it sounds like too much effort, I did that and it gave me true peace. 

How do I actually believe in imagination? - stop trying to believe. If prior to the law, you saw the 3D as real and your imagination as fake, all you need to do is just flip that. It’s now your imagination is the real reality and this 3D world is fake. 

You’re consciousness moving in and out of states/mindsets, that’s okay - That is quite literally it’s job, to NOT stay in desire and to continuously move through states/mindsets/identities, it’s the reason why different people’s assumptions regarding life and what’s going on are different. No two people will perceive things the same way, one can see persisting as a chore, another can see it as peace, another can be in the middle, that’s okay. 

SELF REALIZATION: Just as all of this hit me, another fact just whacked me in the face. As a limitless being (consciousness) the only reason it exists is to not be in desire. Your whole reason of having desire is to just not have desire, you don’t deserve to live in desire knowing that imagination is the only true reality. THAT is where you’re limitless, not this 3D fleshy human body (that is in fact a garment your consciousness is wearing). When LOA influencers/bloggers or even the big man Neville himself tell you that imagination is god, they mean that your whole world, the world as you want it to be is available there. 

Genuinely make imagination your safe haven. You’re allowed to have doubts, fears, and anything of the sort because you KNOW that it’s part of the 3D, which also means you’re allowed to acknowledge it, but not let the limitless self be limited! Which also means you’re allowed to make your own rules! Yes, you are! You can do that! Remember, you’re not trying to create anything! Creation’s finished!

Want to feel like whenever you let your emotions out, something good will happen? Yeah! Whenever you decide something once, you have it? Yeah! You don’t want to exhaust yourself with methods? Sure! Do what makes you happy! This is truly a mindset switch from a limited being, to someone who is limitless! Perfection doesn’t come with it, it’s not supposed to be there so don’t worry about it. That’s something a close friend of mine @piercedblunt taught me :’) Manifesting is not supposed to feel forced, nor is it supposed to be draining you, if that’s the case, take a break from it. 

So what if you fall out of the state/mindset? Pick yourself back up again, limitless consciousness/awareness is always going to stay a part of you, you can’t just ditch it on the side of the road and think, “welp :/ guess i can’t get what I want” WHO CARES IF YOU CAN’T SEE SHIT OUTSIDE? THAT 👏ISNT👏YOUR👏JOB👏.NEVER HAS BEEN? Now that you’re allowing yourself to be limitless, why would that be an issue? So what if you didn’t see that grade right now? You’re still limitless, aren’t you? Why are you still seeing your emotions as something that’ll hinder you when that is PART OF THE 3D? You’re allowed to just observe/acknowledge it as something you’re feeling, hell, even if you forget you’re limitless, it’ll come back to you eventually. Whether that’s in a minute, a day, a week, a year, you’ll remember your limitless self, you can’t run away from it. To learn more about this, I learned from this thread. I highly recommend reading Star’s loa threads if you’re interested on the mental health/self-love side of LOA, as I resonate dearly with what she has to say. 

To wrap it all up:

Back when I was in high school, I remember I really wanted to manifest a snow day for myself (this was back when I first found out about states). It had been ages since then and I’m pretty sure there was also this assignment I wanted an extension on, so I hit two birds with one stone and manifested a snow storm, which lead to a snow day. The way I did it truly understood that this 3D world cannot fulfill me, it really can’t, it’s not it’s job to. All I did was decide, I asked myself, if I woke up and KNEW that I had a day off because of a school day, what would I be doing? How would I go about the day? How would I react to my school emailing me about bus cancellations? An image just naturally popped up of my school board cancelling buses, all because I decided to be the person who would’ve been having a snow day. After that, I went to sleep, I had gotten rid of desire because I knew my limitless self had experienced it and was experiencing it already. 

I woke up that next morning literally forgetting that I had made that decision, checked the time and saw that it was twenty minutes until my bus would arrive to pick me up for school. My dad came into my room, confused. He literally told me “what are you doing? Your school board emailed everyone that there’s a snow day today and possibly tomorrow with the storm, you’re not going to school? Check your email”. Mind you, I genuinely was confused, but also in the back of my mind felt pretty normal, fulfilled, natural. All because of a decision. Well, one I ultimately forgot T-T. 

But see how I didn’t “persist”? Where did I visualize 24/7? Where did I pound my head with affirmations? Where did I “act as if” in the 3D? Where was there force? When you truly let your limitless self thrive, you learn to not give a crud about the 3D, with practice it all falls into place. (btw this little section is inspired by one of Jay’s blogs as it also cemented how easy it is to use the law!!) 

When we say to fall in love with your new mindset, we basically mean to fall in love with your limitless self. Fall into the abundance, the joy, the relief, the weight of your worries disappearing, all of it. If you fall out, you identify with the 3D, feel like you “slipped up”, you genuinely didn’t, my love. It’s when you think that you did slip up is when you should remind yourself, creation is and was finished the moment you decided you had what you want. Another thing, don’t be afraid to “mess up” in terms of learning the law. Even us bloggers go through it too, we’re also human as well at the end of the day, with real emotions, real feelings, real lives and that is always okay. Make it a habit to understand and love both the human you, and your limitless self. You’re allowed to be free in imagination but also cry over stress. You’re allowed to not live in desire, but also make it a habit to check in with how you feel. You’re allowed to give yourself your wildest dreams, and you can still allow yourself to drop the feelings of guilt or the past. You’re always allowed to forgive, don’t forget that. 

Don’t forget who you are. 

Cheers, 

Kaeya <3

okay im not a rafayel girly but HELP ME!!! ITS GIVING RAFAYEL!! i stg this is how i see rafayel fucking from now on i might be a changed man.

I LUCID DREAMT LAST NIGHT!! I CAN FEEL IT!! I'M GONNA SHIFT TONIGHT, I know I already shifted in my 4d but I can feel my 3d is gonna change too.. but why didn't I try to open a portal, i just did some bizzare things which I can't speak here... anyway I had 10 or 6 fingers in one hand and when I noticed it I tried to shift with open eyes? I think I was too excited to change my 3d.. ANYWAY WHEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN TONIGHT,IM GONNA OPEN A PORTAL,IDC IF IT DOESN'T CHANGE MY 3D,IT WILL OME DAY

10/29/2024

its so easy to doubt

to give up

to just stop

but my love is too strong

for 4 long years i have been trying to shift

and for 6 years i have loved him and continue to do so

my entire reason for shifting is for him

all my efforts

all the times i woke up in my cr

every single ounce of shifting

is for him

never have i tried to shift not wanting to end up in his bed

with him

next to me

in his arms

that is my motivation. him.

the thought of one day i may able to feel his hair coursing through my fingers

that one day i may be able to bury my face deep into his neck and take a deep breath

knowing that i am with him

and he is with me

the day i stop trying

is the day i wake up with him

the sun in our eyes

tightening our holds onto each other

as if something were to pull us apart any second

the feeling of not wanting to get up from bed yet

and so we cuddle in silence

in kisses and in snuggles

enjoying nothing but each other's presence

that is when i will stop trying

and finally live

but for now

i will do everything it takes

no matter how long

how hard

how frustrated i will be

for him.