We Are All, In The Private Kingdom Of Our Hearts, Desperate For The Company Of A Wise, True Friend. Someone

books i read in 2022: i kissed shara wheeler by casey mcquiston

Competition is why she can’t stop poking around the place where Shara is supposed to be. As long as they’ve both been at Willowgrove, Chloe finally had someone to fight for dominance, and that gave some kind of reason to her life. It’s not like Shara is that important; it’s just that, without her, Chloe’s not sure what the point of anything is.

Things that matter are not easy. Feelings of happiness are easy. Happiness is not. Flirting is easy. Love is not. Saying you’re friends is easy. Being friends is not.

David Levithan

I have had that thought often. Wrong place. Wrong time. Wrong life.

But I’m not sure if it’s the planet that’s wrong, so much as everything around me is wrong.

I look about and listen. I see injustice. I see power plays that take advantage of people. I see children being killed in schools. Lies are told on the television. We are gas-lighted. Stolen from. Told it’s all our imagination.

How is any of that right?

When I was a child I would daydream about living on a healthier world. One that was not this one. But how would I get there? Walk through a door? Exit my body and float to another plane?

I’m obviously still here. Still feeling that this existence is wrong. And not truly knowing how to feel any differently about it, other than putting on my survival mask and pretending that I get through the day like everyone else. 💗

Thanks for the question. 😌

talk about deaf Adam Parrish

[GASPS LOUDLY] MY CHILD

i’m really emotional about adam using his hearing as an excuse to shut himself away in his room above the church instead of heading over to monmouth like. if he’s feeling too drained or angry or tired to be around the others he’ll tell himself that there’s no point going round because he won’t even be able to hear them anyway so really he might as well just curl up in his bed and press his fists into his eyes and pretend he doesn’t feel empty all the time

also really into ronan noting this and going round to the church every other day that adam skips out and hammering on the door until adam gives in and lets him in. once he’s in ronan throws himself down on adam’s bed, always on adam’s right, and tells him everything he’s missed, and they both pretend like he’s doing it to catch adam up even though it’s mostly ronan complaining about blue and gansey and how sickening they both are

ronan and noah being the best at making sure adam can hear them, but doing it in polar opposite ways. noah always manages to be standing on adam’s right with a soft smile and speaks a little louder when he’s facing away from adam so adam can still hear — noah slips it into like he’s been doing it his whole life, like it’s completely natural, ducking his head sheepishly whenever adam flashes him a grateful look. ronan actively moves to make sure adam can always hear him, keeps his head at least a little turned towards adam at all times (although that’s not entirely for adam’s benefit), starts using bigger gestures and facial expressions to illustrate what he’s saying — but whenever adam mentions it or smiles gratefully, ronan ignores him, like he’s not sure whether he actually wants adam to notice or not

blue appears at adam’s room with a book on asl and a fierce determination in her eyes that has adam stepping back even as he tells her he’s not fully deaf, you know, i can still speak normally, and blue just shrugs, tells him she’s been thinking about learning it for a while anyway. pretty sure they’re signing whole conversations together in the back of the pig or across the room at monmouth, and adam enjoys having a way of communicating where they’re on the same level again

gansey keeps forgetting and carrying out whole conversations with adam that adam only catches a fifth of, and with anyone else adam knows he’d get mad and storm off but gansey repeats himself over and over without ever looking like it bothers him in the slightest and honestly half the time gansey isn’t looking for responses so adam can just sit back and let the sound of talking wash over him without having to focus on actually hearing any of it properly

i care a lot about adam curled up against the wall watching everyone arguing about something he can’t really follow because he’s not hearing enough of it and some days it’s enough to just be able to be in the same room and be included even if he can’t join in but other days it makes him feel so isolated that it sits hollow and aching in his stomach; i care about adam who gets used to accidentally ending up on the wrong side of the group when they’re walking somewhere or sat around in monmouth, adam who spends a lot of time lost in his own thoughts even when he’s with the others because he can’t hear them all; i care about adam who presses his right ear into his pillows when he breaks down at night because it makes it all feel less real when he can’t hear himself gasping wetly for breath; i care about adam who has nightmares where he wakes up and can’t hear anything at all, not even out of his right ear

all the little ways the group accommodates it: adam always gets the left seat in the back of the pig so the others are on his good side; the boys swap seats with kids on the left side of all their classrooms so adam can still hear their teachers; someone is always stood on adam’s right to relay messages when they’re in the forest or sneaking around and they’ve all got to lower their voices

adam my poor child so scared his deafness will only isolate him further from the group and the group refusing to let that happen ple a s e

SPOILERS: Red, White & Royal Blue + last chapter highlights

happy belated birthday @wrenhal 💕

NORA AND IRIS. the girls i've been by tess sharpe

her hand slipped around my waist and her hip brushed against mine like she belonged there, and it felt like she did, in every vital part of me.

[insp]

😂🤦‍♀️😺💙🤗🤣

I'll start:

✨😭🤷🏼‍♀️🌞❤✌🏻

Well, not so bad.... I guess.....