Rainykindaday - Words From My Brain Thoughts

Every so often I see people wondering how a “lack of sexuality” counts as a sexuality.  (Or in one case, why asexuality counts as a sexuality and hypersexuality is medical condition).

And I think this question comes as a result of people, either by accident or maliciousness, misidentifying what asexuality actually is.

Aphobes and exclusionists like to portray asexuality as simply a matter of magnitude.  You’re not really ace.  You’re a straight/gay/bi person who doesn’t have/want sex.  Like there’s a z axis of the kinsey scale that indicates “amount”.  If they even give us that much validity.

But ultimately, asexuality is not about magnitude.  An asexual person can actually have a sex drive.  We can have libidos.  We have hormones and biological reactions just like everyone else.  Asexual people can feel horny.  And surprise, there are asexual people who have been diagnosed with hypersexuality.

(And if you want to know how a sex-repulsed asexual handles a healthy sex drive…well, simply put, we’re generally capable of seeing to our own needs, thank you.)

Asexuality is not a matter of magnitude.  It’s a matter of direction.

Of orientation if you will.

It might help to look at it like this.  If sexual desire is a multiple choice exam, then these are some of the options that you might have.

a) Women.

b) Men.

c) Multiple genders.

d) None of the above.

For asexual people, the answer is “d) None of the above”.  Admittedly, for others on the ace spectrum, the answer might fluctuate a bit more.  But our default position is going to be “d”.

And THAT’s why it’s a sexuality.

Oh to have the confidence and arrogance of Shawn “I’ve Heard it Both Ways” Spencer.

Not to sound too millennial but who the fuck would get off a plane (to their dream job in Paris) for Ross fucking Geller

It doesn’t make you unlovable or a horrible person if you don’t have many friends. It can be difficult to meet new people if you’re shy or quiet or have anxiety. It can be difficult to stay in touch with people if you can’t find the time or energy to remain in contact. It can be difficult to make new friends if you struggle to find people you click with or who are interested in the same things as you. None of those things mean you’re unlovable. 

Dear Disney,

Hire this woman for your next Star Wars project.

Love,

Fu for Thought

Her name is Michelle C Smith and she might be best known as Gina Carano’s stunt double for Deadpool.

NASA has released new images of Jupiter, taken by the Juno Spacecraft.

Michael Westen Burn Notice is demisexual. No I do not take criticism.

Trans and nonbinary people when they wear something that makes them look more like their true identity:

me, age 12, watching elizabeth swann becoming pirate king: