Vicious

Vicious

a/n: This ended up being so much longer than I expected?? Geez I hope it's actually good. This is 100% the first ever fanfic I've written and actually posted somewhere please be gentle. I've gone over this so many times to make sure it's decent that it now seems dumb to me lmao anywaaay I hope y'all enjoy! I might do a second part to this if people actually enjoy it? I also had a lot of inspiration listening to this while writing: Ripping Me Apart

Summary: MC lashes out at dinner one night over what happened in the attic; later has a confrontation with Belphegor himself.

Warnings/Tags: spoilers for lesson 16, mentions of death, murder, suffocation, cussing, mentions of dead body, pissed off MC, angst I guess? if i forgot anything let me know!

Word Count: 5.1k Those who asked to be tagged in this monstrosity: @yaboihack @hornehlittleweeblet2 @talesfrom0pheliaa @dee-zbignuts The Apologies: Beelzebub, Satan, Mammon Asmodeus, Leviathan

"What doesn't kill me makes me Vicious" ~Halestorm

Seven months had passed since your arrival to the Devildom, in that time you had learned to live with the demons around you and started to become friends with them even. It helped to have another human around, if that’s what you could call him, even if he was a little sketchy at times. The angels were also a nice addition, they helped you remember that not everyone was trying to eat you. However, in your short time here, you had tempted fate and escaped death more times than you would have liked but somehow you were still alive and managing to keep up with your class work. The one thing you seemed to have messed up was trying to reunite a family of demons. Saying it out loud you realized how dumb it sounded, but at the time you thought it was a good idea. You knew what it was like to have a family torn apart over something stupid, maybe that’s why you felt so bad when Beelzebub had told you about his twin. Maybe you were trying to fix their family the way you wished you could fix yours…or maybe you were just bored. Either way you had gone to the attic and opened Pandora’s box it seemed, and in the end you suffered more than you ever imagined you would.

It had been three weeks since Belphegor had been freed from his attic prison. Three weeks since he had rejoined his brothers in the house and at RAD. Three weeks since your death… you try not to think about that part too much. You keep your mind occupied during the day by focusing on your work, making sure you get to dinner on time, you even got a job just to keep busy. At night though it was difficult to keep the memories away, you do your best to distract yourself so you can fall asleep, putting headphones in and listening to music or leaving the TV on just to fill the silence. It wouldn’t be as bad if the six demons that you spent so much time with weren’t acting as if nothing happened. The brothers all seem to have moved on, they go about their days like normal, like they never gathered around your limp body and as if Mammon hadn’t held you in his arms while you took your last breath. You're not about to start a fight with seven demons, considering how the fight with one had gone, but you also are not about to forgive so quickly. Belphie has tried to cozy up to you as if he didn’t strangle you with his own hands, like he didn’t laugh at you while you gasped for air. You don’t want to upset the others by drastically rejecting him (you’re the one who freed him after all) so you gently brush him off, removing yourself from situations that would leave you two alone. You had walked him to class that first day when his brothers all ditched him but once you arrived at RAD you had darted off to your classroom. You want to forgive him, you really do, that’s just who you are as a person. You consider seeing a therapist because you're pretty sure this counts as some kind of horrible trauma disorder but regardless, part of you wants to try and see the good in him. Nothing about the other six brothers behavior sits well with you though. Why are they all so casually ignoring the fact that the youngest had killed you only weeks prior?? Three of them had become very close friends to you, you spent most of your free time with them goofing off and getting into trouble. The other three you weren’t as close with but two had liked you enough to make pacts with you so why were they all so quick to forget the murder that happened?

You try to ignore it, to suck it up and keep your thoughts to yourself. “Only a few months left and then I go home” you try to tell yourself. But then it happened. The dinner where everything came to a head. It had been a pretty normal day, you were a little annoyed at the grade you received on a pop quiz but other than that everything was okay. The brothers were all happily discussing their days and that was fine, but then one of them made a mistake.

“Look at how well we’re all getting along! And it’s all thanks to MC!” and another had responded

“Yeah, we used to try and kill each other at every meal!”

That was it, the last straw. Maybe that quiz pissed you off more than you thought, or maybe you had just been holding back this anger for too long. Before you knew it you were laughing hysterically, eyes starting to water, face turning red. The room was silent aside from your laughter and all eyes were on you now, while you wanted to feel embarrassed by your own sudden outburst, the rage you felt was far stronger. You kept your eyes on your plate and could feel your fists clenching, your laughter dying off but the tears still trying to form in your eyes, you always hated being an angry crier.

“MC…. a-are you alright?”

Your head was spinning at this point, unaware of which brother was asking that absurd question, it could’ve been Levi or it could’ve been Asmo. At this point you didn’t care, the fire inside you was now blazing through your lungs and down into your stomach. You’d done so well to keep your composure down here, trying to not upset Lucifer by “disgracing him or Diavolo”, trying to behave and be the good and well put together human they thought you were. Fuck that.

“Alright? Am I alright?” You raised your head to finally meet the seven sets of eyes all watching you. “Did you seriously just ask…IF I WAS ALRIGHT??” Your voice was much higher pitched than you had anticipated at the end but at this point that was the least of your concerns.

“MC, darling- “

“Don’t ‘darling’ me!” They want to know how you feel? Fine, here comes seven months of built-up rage. “I was literally KILLED three weeks ago! And you wanna know if I’m alright think about that for a minute!” You felt the air in the room change, five demons now looking anywhere except at you. “I’ve been trying my best to keep up with my studies down here so I don’t disappoint Lord Diavolo or the exchange program while simultaneously playing family therapist for seven demons! AND YOU WANT TO KNOW IF I’M ALRIGHT!” You were standing now; your chair had flown back without you noticing.

“MC there’s no need to raise your voice nor is there need for this discussion during din-”

“YES THERE IS!” You snapped your head to stare down the first born. The fear you had felt that night in the catacombs when you shielded Luke and Beel was gone. The catacombs… that was the first time Lucifer had nearly killed you. You were protecting his younger brother and yet he had rushed you in his demon form and accused you of trying to bring harm to his family. You saw the shock in his face, not only had you dared to talk back, but you had also yelled at him. You could tell he was about to start arguing with you again. That’s not happening, not tonight.

“Since my first day here you’ve drilled into my head that if I ever brought harm to your brothers, if I ever went against you or Diavolo, or if I ever brought shame to the exchange program, you’d show me no mercy! So I’ve busted my ass to do well in my classes! I’ve attended every little event Diavolo has thrown, I’ve jumped through every hoop you and Diavolo have held up to me! I did my best to get along with your brothers and help them with their problems! Yet I guess that wasn’t good enough since you tried to kill me yourself three different times! You claim to be such a powerful demon and you act like the three worlds revolve around this exchange program SO WHERE WERE YOU WHEN BELPHEGOR HAD HIS HANDS AROUND YOUR PRECIOUS EXCHANGE STUDENTS THROAT AND THEY WERE LOSING AIR?!”

Lucifer winced at your words. How dare you speak to him like that, who did you think you were acting like this in front of his brothers? He wanted to retaliate, to put you in your place and make you remember who were talking to. But you were right, he had done all those things and more. Just when he thought you had shattered his pride as much as a human could, you started in again.

“WHERE WERE ANY OF YOU?” You whipped your head around to look at the rest, all of them avoiding your gaze. “You expect me to believe NONE of you heard the noise coming from the attic? That none of you HEARD ME SCREAMING?” you watched Beel tense up as your voice got louder. You had never yelled like this before; you’d never been angry like this with them. Part of you felt bad for Beelzebub, all he wanted was for his family to be whole again and for you to be a part of it…then you remembered how he almost killed you over a pudding and destroyed your bedroom in the process. You looked over at Asmo, Levi and Satan, all three looking at the floor trying their best to not make eye contact. Leviathan was on the verge of tears, his face a deep red and he started to sink lower into his chair, Asmodeus was picking at the sleeve of his sweater and biting his lip, Satan looked the most uncomfortable out of all the brothers, most likely trying his best to not turn into his demon form thanks to the rage you were giving off. You hadn’t noticed until now but you could feel his pact on you burning, the heat from it only made you angrier. You had made pacts with all but one by this point, five of them when the incident happened, yet none of them had been there to protect you. Protect you. You looked over to Mammon and quickly wished you hadn’t. The second born had one hand wrapped around his stomach and the other covering his mouth to muffle his sobs. His eyes were red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears, you could see him lightly shaking. You wanted so desperately to be angry with him as well but the best you could come up with was how rude he had been your first few weeks here and the fact that he too had dismissed Belphie’s actions. In all honesty he had been the nicest to you during your stay, you’d spent so much time together, he always made sure to include you in anything going on in the house. So why had he been so quick to forgive Belphie? That’s when the image came back to you, the one you had tried so desperately to forget, the one with your dying body. Walking in and seeing yourself beaten and bruised, laying in his arms. Oh god his arms! Mammon had been the one holding your broken body, tears running down his face as he caressed yours, trying so desperately to get you to stay with him. He had been the one to hold you as you took your final breath. That was why Mammon had dismissed it, he was trying to forget just like you were. The rage was growing again, this time with more ammo.

“You know what else pisses me off? The fact that all of you talk down and belittle Mammon and yet HE WAS THE ONE TO HOLD MY DYING BODY! You all act like he’s some heartless scumbag but he was the one who had to feel me actually die! I don’t want to hear any of you call him a scumbag ever again do you understand?” You knew you were getting off track, this was a speech for a different time and yet you received nods from all five brothers in your line of sight. At least they were listening, and all seemed ashamed, well…all but one. You could see him from the corner of your eye, you’d been avoiding him up until this point simply because that was how you’d spent the last three weeks, but now you could see him with that stupid smirk on his face. Was he enjoying his brothers misery? Or was he proud of what he had put you through? It didn’t matter, you had enough anger built up and you were ready to let it explode.

“You think this is funny? Is this all just some sick joke to you? Do you know how hurt Beelzebub was thinking you were off in the human world unhappy and against your will? You think you have all humans figured out, don’t you? We’re all just dumb little play toys for you, aren’t we? You don’t know a damn thing about me. I spent seven months getting to know your brothers and helping them reconnect and solve their problems! I felt bad for you being locked up there away from your family! I thought it was unfair that Lucifer would lock you away and then lie to your brothers! I wanted to help you! I TRUSTED YOU!” The smirk on Belphie’s face disappeared the moment you started in on him, replaced by a look of discomfort and embarrassment. Good, you wanted him to be hurt.

“And as a thank you for all that I did,” you put your hands on the table and leaned in towards him “you decided to put your hands around my throat and suffocate me until I blacked out. You dragged my body down from the attic and presented your kill like a proud hunting dog to your brothers that I’d spent months helping.” Your eyes narrowed and you clenched your fists once more, “Then you gave me the saddest excuse for an apology I’ve ever heard and immediately expected me to forgive you and suddenly act like we’ve been friends for years? No, absolutely not. Do you know why I made a pact with you so quickly after what happened? It wasn’t because I forgave you, it was so I could stop you if you ever tried to KILL ME AGAIN!” Belphie jumped at that last part, any joy he got from listening to you rip into his brothers had been smashed as you made him face the truth of his actions. You felt yourself shaking, the hot wet tears on your cheeks, your jaw clenched shut. You wanted to throw something, to break everything in the room, to scream at the top of your lungs in frustration. But you knew you had said enough, you were sure you’d be lectured by Lucifer later when he found the nerve, so you straightened up and closed your eyes. You took a deep breath and prepared to swallow your pride, something Lucifer could learn to do himself.

“If you’ll excuse me.” You turned sharply and headed straight to your room; you had considered saying sorry but quickly got over it. As soon as they heard your bedroom door shut, the brothers all took off to their own rooms, all but Lucifer who stayed at the table reviewing what had just happened in his mind. He let out a deep sigh and then placed his head in his hands, elbows propped up on the table, so much for the nice family dinner.

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While the others had all returned to their respective rooms, Belphegor had retreated to the attic, too ashamed to face his twin right now. He felt some comfort up there, away from the others and alone with his thoughts. Then his thoughts turned against him. He tried desperately to ignore them, tossing and turning on the bed, trying to just fall asleep and forget the entire evening but your words were echoing in his head “as thanks for all that I did” he squeezed his eyes shut. No, don’t do it. “You put your hands around my throat!” an image flashed in Belphie’s mind. Stop, please just let it go away. Belphie opened his eyes in hopes to make it all stop but instead it only intensified. In some cruel irony he had opened his eyes to face the exact spot it happened, and he could remember it all so vividly. You had begged and pleaded for him to stop but he kept going, taking every last ounce of oxygen you had. He remembered how it felt as you fought against his grip, you had kicked and clawed at him; he still had scratch marks on his arms that he kept covered. You had used all the strength you had left to fight back. And then you had gone limp.

“STOP IT!” Shocked by his own voice, Belphie covered his mouth. What had he done? You had been so genuine in your quest to free him, you had been nice to him from the very beginning, and he went and did that to you. He suddenly felt sick. Sitting up on the edge of the bed and gripping the sheets as if they’d save him from the guilt that was consuming him, Belphie now faced the door to his room. He remembered your first encounter, how you had seemed so concerned about his state of being and when you asked about his identity he lied. He remembered how you had come back after putting the pieces together and asked him why he had lied, and he told you about his fall out with Lucifer, and then lied some more to you. You put yourself through so much for him, for his brothers, for a bunch of demons who couldn’t solve their own problems, and all he had done up until now was lie to you. He had wanted to hate you so badly for no reason other than being human, he could remember the minute he had started putting his plan together and how he had felt knowing you would never be the wiser. But you kept coming back and it started getting harder to hate you. Every visit you would talk to him like he was an equal, unlike when Lucifer came by and spoke to him like a caged animal, and with every visit he became more frustrated and confused. You were just some human, part of the reason that they had lost Lilith, so why was it becoming harder to hate you? He could remember laying in bed staring at the attic ceiling, wondering what you were doing and what it was like to hang out with you. Did his brothers feel this way? Is that why three of them had formed pacts with you so easily? By the time he was freed his mind was a whirlpool of conflicting emotions, he hated the fact that it was no longer easy to be angry at you, he hated that you were so trusting, he hated Lucifer for putting him in that musty old room to start with. Before he knew it his hands were around your throat, everything during the moment felt like a blur, but now after being three weeks free and after watching you viciously tear into him and his brothers, remembering that moment happened in slow motion. Every noise you made seemed deafening and it was like he could feel your pulse dropping in his hands again. Then even after all of that, you had been the one to wait around and walk him to RAD his first day back and had been helping him repair his relationships with his brothers. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew his brothers had been avoiding him for good reason, he knew he fucked up, but he never expected you to be the only one to show him a sliver of kindness after what he did. At some point Belphie had slid off the bed, now he was kneeling on the floor fighting back tears, his throat felt tight and his body was starting to tremble. He had to fix this. ************************************************************************

Four hours had passed since your little outburst, yet you found yourself still riding the adrenaline high. Sleeping was pointless while you were this wound up so you had started reorganizing your room, not that it was helping you clear your mind. You were thrilled you had finally given them a piece of your mind, but you also knew now began the hardest part. You didn’t want to sever your ties with them, you enjoyed laughing and hanging out with the brothers, but you needed them to understand that dismissing what happened was NOT going to work. You started to wonder who the first to approach you would be, how long would it take before they looked at you without guilt covering their faces? You’d probably have to bully your way into Levi’s room in order to repair things with him. That was fine, he could wait, after all he also made an attempt on your life over a stupid contest. You were lost in your own thoughts but suddenly pulled back to reality when you heard a small noise outside your door. Walking closer you could make out the sound of someone quietly crying, you felt a sting in your chest and checked the time. Midnight, that meant it was either Beelzebub who had wandered over after getting his late-night snack or Mammon who would probably stay outside your room all night and then pretend he had just showed up when you came out for breakfast the next morning. You weighed your options and then decided, might as well start fixing things now since sleep was still evading you. You opened the door and prepared yourself for the sad puppy eyes of the second or sixth born but felt anxious when you discovered it was neither. Instead, standing outside your door with his hands shoved in the pockets of his sweatpants, was Belphie. He kept his head low and turned away from you, but you could still see his bloodshot eyes and the semi dried tear stains on his cheek, it was painfully obvious he had been crying much harder than he was now at some point.

“Do you need something?” your voice flat as you looked him up and down. He was in pajamas so he clearly had not planned on showing up here to pull something, but you kept your guard up.

“Can we talk?” his voice was barely audible and gave hints that he was on the verge of breaking. You shifted your weight as you stood in the doorway and thought about the question. While it sounded like some cheesy line from a bad sitcom and you thought about how fun it would be to slam the door in his face while he looked like a kicked puppy, you also considered how entertaining this might become. He came to your room to talk about something, and you wanted to find out what, but more importantly you wanted to see just how far you could push him in this state.

“Fine.” You moved out of the doorway and waited for him to enter; you could see him hesitate before doing so. It wasn’t until he stopped between your bed and the couch you had bought recently that you realized this was the first time he had actually been inside your room, he had stood out in the hall with Beel a few times when collecting you for dinner, but you had never invited him in. You watched as his eyes scanned your room and then landed on you, his form stiffening as he made eye contact.

“What do you want Belphie.” He shifted his gaze and whispered something in response.

“You’ll have to speak at a real volume, us humans don’t have the superior hearing you demon have I’m sure.” You were getting agitated again, it was late and he was wasting your time.

“I-I wanted to say…”

“Say what?”

“I’m trying to say…”

“Not trying very hard apparently!”

“Please just let me-“

“Let you what? Come up with some half assed apology again? Tell me another lie? Fool me enough to let my guard down so you can try and kill me again?? What do you want Belphegor? I’m not standing here all night while you waste my time SPIT IT OUT!”

“I’M SORRY ALRIGHT! I KNOW YOU DON’T CARE BUT I’M SORRY!”

You did it, without even trying you had pushed him over the edge. You watched him begin to fall apart, fat tears pouring from his eyes, his body starting to shake violently as he sobbed, you let him have his little breakdown.

“You didn’t d-deserve what I did! Y-you only wanted to h-help me and my brothers! I’m sorry! For every horrible thing I said and for putting you through that!”

You had to admit he was putting on one hell of a performance, you almost felt pity for him…almost.

“Can you ever forgive me for what I did?” his voice cracked this time.

Oh? So that’s his little goal, he came down here seeking forgiveness? He wants to put on a show in hopes that you’ll forgive him for his actions. At least this performance was better than that sorry excuse of an apology he had given you in front of the others. But why now? He had literally murdered you three weeks ago and was furious when you appeared before his brothers as they gathered around your corpse, it wasn’t until Diavolo had told them about…Lilith… that’s what this was about.

“Why should I? So you can feel better about yourself? So your dead sister won’t hate you? That’s what this is all for right? So you won’t look bad in Lilith’s eyes?”

“N-no it has nothing to do with- “

“LIAR! You couldn’t care less about what I think, you said it yourself, I’m just some stupid human! This little show is all for HER! Well guess what? I’m. Not. LILITH!” You felt your anger come flooding back to you, your dead ancestor or whatever she was to you was the whole reason any of this was happening in the first place. The more you thought about her, about your entire situation down here, the more you could feel the fire inside you growing. Satan’s pact burning on your skin once more, the fear you once had was long dead, all you felt was a burning rage. You thought that by now, after all you had been through, your fight or flight instinct would autopilot to flight in the face of conflict, but in this moment your entire body was choosing fight. You had lost the first fight against Belphegor because he caught you off guard, but this time you were ready and even if he killed you again you were gonna make sure you left your mark. As mad as you were you also knew better than to start screaming again, that would only bring more of them to your room and right now you had the only demon you needed in your sights. Maybe you were just a little plaything to them, nothing more than an amusing pet, but they screwed up. Six of them made pacts with you, and the human with their pact mark controls said demon, right? You planned to find out soon enough. You started ripping into Belphie again, telling him off once more, reminding him exactly how it felt to die and then to see your dead body, without thinking you had started taking steps towards him and for every step you took forward he took one back. You could see the fear behind his eyes, tears still rolling down his cheeks and body continuing to shake. All these things were feeding something inside you, the arrogant demon who had stolen a part of you was now trembling in front of you for whatever reason. Before you knew it you had him trapped, his back pressed against the wall, Belphie was out of steps to take but you continued forward leaving a very small space between you.

“Admit that this is all for her. Admit that you don’t care about what I think of you!”

“It isn’t! Why won’t you believe me?”

He didn’t need an answer to that, and you knew it, so instead you decided to give into his little act.

“You want my forgiveness?”, you leaned in and your voice deepened “Then beg for it!”

You were almost positive you hadn’t used your pact on him, but you had to think hard on it with how quickly Belphegor dropped to his knees and began sobbing in desperation. He was begging and pleading for your forgiveness, his crying became more violent, the tears fell quickly off his face with a few trailing down his neck occasionally, his voice cracking with every plea. You knew this kind of crying all too well, the kind of cry you let out after a major heartbreak or betrayal; after all you had been in this same position yourself after the incident, the only difference being your face had been pressed into a pillow to quiet the screams and sobs. Nobody would fake this kind of crying, why would they want to? It was far too draining and always left you with a headache afterwards, which meant Belphie actually was trying to apologize. This time you did feel sorry for him, sorry that he had exposed this side of him to you. Now you knew he could be broken, you knew you had the power to bring him to his knees even without the pact. He had called you a ‘weak and pathetic human’ back then but who was the weak, pathetic bitch now?

“I-I’ll do whatever i-it takes to make this up to y-you, I-I’ll do anythi-ing!” He was gasping for air with every word it seemed, truly a pitiful thing to watch. You suddenly got an awful and twisted idea as you tilted your head slightly, you felt a small smile crawl onto your face and you softened your eyes.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I know you will”, you leaned down so that your upper half was looming over his still trembling body. You took his face in your right hand, thumb wiping away tears on one cheek and your fingers pressing gently into the other, you made sure his eyes were locked on yours. “I’ll make sure of that.”

He wanted to make it up to you so badly? He wanted to be your friend? To be as close to you as his brothers were? Fine. But you were going to make him work for it and you’d make sure he worked hard for it too. He’d soon learn who he belonged to. After all, he had wanted the pact between you two, he had asked you to make him yours, so that's exactly what you would do.

“Do you understand?” Your voice was stern and your gaze showed no mercy. Belphie’s voice was shaky and his bottom lip started to quiver but he nodded quickly.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?” you tightened your grip on his face slightly.

“Yes, M-master.”