Chapter 3 Is Up! I Hope You Enjoy It! :D

Ok, I don't really post here, but there's a Merlin AU idea that's been rattling around in my skull like it's a pinball machine and I need to get it out, so here we go:

Imagine an AU where Balinor doesn't die and banishes Kilgarrah before sneaking away so Uther doesn't catch him and can't put his newfound son in danger. Of course, both he and Merlin are heartbroken about having to be separated again after just finding each other, but they work out a way to keep in touch and occasionally meet in secret.

And this is all well and good, and everything in the show just kinda proceeds as normal up until about season 4, where we have the knights of the round table well-established in Camelot.

It'd make sense that after a few years of travelling around with Kilgarrah, Balinor would be pretty well-known and well-feared throughout all the five kingdoms as "that dragonlord who escaped the purge and now travels around on the back of a giant dragon", and people all over Albion are kinda terrified of the guy.

Rumors say that he never smiles, that he can kill a man in a split second without even utterring a spell, and can decimate kingdoms with the dragon under his total command. That makes for a formidable figure!

And then one day, Balinor is trying to sneak into Camelot to visit his son (he heard Merlin got hit by a dorocha and wants to make sure he's ok!), and the knights see him and freak out because holy shit that's one of the deadliest guys in Albion!

They're in a tense standoff, with Balinor threatening to call down the dragon on them if they don't let him through. The knights are all ready to give their lives to at least buy the people in the castle time to evacuate, when suddenly Merlin and Arthur make it to the standoff. Arthur immediately starts strategizing with his knights on how they're going to negociate with the sorcerer in an attempt to make sure that they aren't all slaughtered.

Meanwhile, Merlin just laughs and pushes through the rows of knights blocking Balinor's path to the castle. The knights, being very fond of Merlin and not wanting to see their kind little friend be brutally murdered by one of the most terrifying men in exsistence, are trying to grab Merlin and pull him back to safety or shouting at him to get back, but Merlin manages to avoid them as he walks up to Balinor.

For a horrifying moment, the knights and Arthur think that Merlin is about to sacrifice himself for them, but Merlin breaks into a huge grin, yells "Dad!", and runs right into Balinor's arms.

(Merlin and Balinor reason that now that Arthur's king, they might as well start easing him into some of Merlin's less shocking secrets)

And even more shockingly to the knights, Balinor hugs him back, asking Merlin all about how he's been doing, how are his studies under Gaius, etc etc.

And all of the knights just bluescreen. Because the math isn't mathing on this one. Hunith + Balinor = MERLIN?! Does not compute.

They're all pondering how could someone as joyful, friendly, and kind as Merlin be the spawn of a terrifying man like Balinor?? They just cannot comprehend it. The manservant who they all know and love came from this sorcerer who's name is synonymous with the threat of death and destruction??

They're all jolted back to reality however when Balinor asks Merlin if he wants to come back to Balinor's newly-renovated stronghold in the mountains (that's only accessable by riding a dragon) to learn more about one day becoming a dragonlord. And suddenly, the knight understand why Balinor's here. He wants to kidnap Merlin from them and twist him into a terrifying sorcerer to carry on Balinor's legacy!

It all basically dissolves into a long game of high-stakes tug-of-war between Balinor and the knights + Arthur, and Merlin's just enjoying spending time with his father and his friends.

Balinor will just casually crash one of their quests while riding Kilgarrah and "kidnap" Merlin while the knights fight to keep Merlin with them.

Balinor eventually gives Merlin Aithusa so he can get practice raising dragons, and the knights see it as some evil scheme to make Merlin betray Camelot and attack it from within, but damn it Merlin's already adopted the damn thing so now they're stuck with a baby dragon.

IDK if I'd ever write a fic about it since I'm pretty busy writing another fic rn, but I thought that it was a funny idea to throw out there!

PS: if anyone wants to read my current project, where I'm giving Sir Leon more anxiety with each chapter after a kinda-botched magic reveal on Merlin's part (and Merlin may or may not be an eldritch god), feel free to check it out here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54027337/chapters/136771564

Thank you all for sticking with my incoherent rambling! :D I hope you have a great day/night!

Also, please let me know if you guys wants to hear more of the ideas that pinball around in my head!

I've thought about this before!! I would really love to see the whole series from Arthur's POV, and I don't mean just showing different scenes either. I'm talking different camera angles, color grading, background music, and a whole different tone to the show!

I say this because it seems like, at times, Merlin and Arthur are going about their lives in two completely different genres of stories.

Because, while we see all the trauma and pain Merlin goes through throughout the entire series and we get to see the series as a whole become darker with Merlin's darkening worldview, Arthur has the opposite experience. As the series goes on, he becomes more lighthearted, growing as a person. It seems like, at some points, that Arthur is going through his life like he's in a fairytale or a rom-com, while Merlin is going through... all of that.

So, in this Arthur's POV, everything, especially in the later seasons, would be lighter, more colorful, more alive than what we see from season 4 onwards. Arthur's POV would look more like a conventional fairytale, because that's what his experience, up until the finale, has been.

You know it would be so funny

If BBC released two versions of Merlin side by side

Like some people would get what is already the show

Other people get the show from arthurs perspective showing scenes where merlin isn't there and arthur is doing stuff etc

And the people who get the arthur version don't get to find out merlin had magic till the last episode.

Imagine the fan theories of those watching the arthur version, especially at seeing old merlin and the dolma.

Imagine all the fans by at least the last season kinda expecting merlin to have magic at that point.

Imagine them seeing the last episode and breaking down cuz how dare it end like that

Then imagine them finding out about the OG merlin show and watching the scenes from his perspective and getting even more devastated at seeing just how much merlin did for arthur.

This would have been truly evil of BBC to do and I respect them less for not doing it

Poll Time!

Hello everyone! It's been a while since I did a poll, and I need a little motivation to work on another au, so here we go!

Happy voting! I look forward to seeing what you all choose! :D

Alright, I've seen some debates on this, but I want to settle this question once and for all!

For reference:

Hello everyone! With me focusing on the "Archeologist Merlin" fic on ao3, it's been a while since I posted an au idea! It's good to be back!

Since an au featuring Lancelot won the last poll, here's my Lancelot au that I tried to make somewhat lighthearted, but it ended up being angsty instead. I hope you enjoy this au idea! :D

PS: For optimal reading conditions, go listen to Hozier's song "Like Real People Do", and then come back here. Trust me, it'll be worth it.

This au takes place in the middle of season 4, picking up right after the episode "Servant of Two Masters", which means that "Lancelot du Lac" hasn't happened yet. At that point, Lancelot had died by sacrificing himself to the veil, and everyone believes that he will stay dead. However, while Merlin was in Morgana's hut to kill the fomorroh that she had stuck in his neck, a book on Morgana's shelf caught his eye. He could feel the power oozing from the book, which was drenched in dark magic. Merlin, knowing that Morgana would absolutely be up to no good with such a powerful book dripping with dark magic, steals the book from her hut before killing the fomorroh. To Merlin, taking the book means that Morgana has one less weapon to attack Camelot with, and he would take any advantage that he could get against Morgana.

Merlin was so focused on killing the fomorroh and getting the dark book away from Morgana that he didn't even see the title of the book that he had stolen until he was back in his room in Camelot. As he prepared to hide the dark book underneath a floorboard in his room, he took a peek at the title of the book for the first time: The Arcane Secrets of Necromancy and Thralls.

Yikes. No wonder the book was dripping with dark magic, if that's what it was about. As Merlin hastily dropped the book down on his bed to free up his hands to pry up the floorboard, he noticed that the book had fallen open to a marked page. Merlin sucked in a breath as he recognized Morgana's handwriting on the page, making notes on one particular spell. As much as he wanted nothing to do with such dark magics, Merlin couldn't pass up the opportunity to learn more about Morgana's plans. He could finally be one step ahead of her!

Merlin hesitantly picked up the book and started reading from the marked page. The page itself detailed the ways a powerful sorcerer could raise a dead soul without having access to the deceased person's body and bend that soul to their will. A violent shiver went down Merlin's spine as he read more. These spells and rituals were horrible and cruel, and it seemed like Morgana had every intention of utilizing them against her enemies. Merlin didn't even want to imagine what awful things Morgana wanted to do with these spells, who she wanted to raise from the dead and torture forevermore.

As Merlin turned the page though, he saw something that immediately drew his attention: a ritual that claimed that it could bring someone back to life with their soul intact and not in any pain. Merlin was frozen as soon as he saw it, staring numbly at the page. Could it even be possible? The ritual claimed that, with an animal sacrifice and enough power on the sorcerer's part, the Old Religion's laws would accept the resurrection of the subject without any human's life being taken in return.

The festering pain in his chest, which had been present since Lancelot's death at the hands of the veil and his heart had felt like it had been torn from his body, throbbed once more. Could he... could he actually do it? Could he truly bring Lancelot back as himself, have his dearest friend, his pillar of support, by his side once more?

As soon as that idea had slithered into his head, Merlin's mind refused to let go of it. It followed him everywhere over the following days, never once leaving him alone, until one day he found himself gathering the ingredients for the ritual.

He had to do it. He owed it to Lancelot, who had sacrificed himself not for Arthur, but for him. If there was even the slightest chance of truly bringing Lancelot back, he had to take that risk.

The ritual itself was complicated, but not impossible, certainly not for Emrys. He had to draw a summoning circle on the forest floor under a lightless new moon, place some of Lancelot's belongings in the circle, of which he chose Lancelot's journals and his prized dagger, and then kill the rabbit he had brought as the sacrifice, collect its lifeblood in a blessed chalice, and finally enchant the blood itself and spill it over Lancelot's belongings in the circle.

Merlin could feel the power of the ritual buzzing around the forest as he performed it, but it didn't frighten him, because he could feel it working. As soon as he poured the rabbit's enchanted blood over the journal and dagger, the circle around him started glowing with a harsh light, urging Merlin on. After the chalice was emptied of blood, Merlin started chanting the final spells of the ritual: one to summon Lancelot's intact and healed body, another to draw Lancelot's soul out of Avalon, and a final spell to merge his body and soul, which would leave Lancelot wholly alive and himself again.

Merlin's heart leapt up to his throat as the first spell succeeded, revealing Lancelot's body, still clad in the same cape and armor that he had worn when he walked into the veil. The mere sight of his friend had Merlin faltering, but he needed to continue through the whole ritual. The second spell summoned a glowing blue mist, which sparkled in the light of the circle and hovered over Lancelot's prone form. Merlin felt strangely comforted at the sight of the mist, and he realized with a gasp that the mist itself must be Lancelot's soul, awaiting his return to his body.

At last, all of the pieces were in place, and Merlin performed the final spell: rebinding Lancelot's soul into his body. The spell itself required an immense amount of power, but Merlin could both feel and see that it was working! Lancelot's soul was slowly disappearing into his body. He was almost there!

With the last incantation, Merlin staggered backwards, feeling thoroughly drained from performing such powerful magic. However, his exhaustion melted away into excitement as Lancelot opened his eyes and sat up, looking around.

"Lancelot! You're back!"

Merlin launched himself forwards towards his friend, his joy almost overwhelming. He crashed into Lancelot's side and wrapped him in the tightest hug he could manage.

"What were you thinking, going into the veil?! I thought you'd be gone forever! But enough of that, we need to get you back to Camelot!"

Merlin urged his friend, who still looked rather dazed and disoriented, up to his feet. Lancelot's confusion was petty understandable, Merlin could only imagine how confusing it must have been to suddenly return to the living!

"Lancelot, how are you feeling? You aren't hurt, are you?"

Merlin waited with baited breath as Lancelot opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if trying to get used to having a mouth again. Finally, after several agonizing minutes of silence, Lancelot spoke, his voice rough.

"Mer... Merlin. My... my..."

"Your what, Lancelot? What do you need? Whatever it is, I'm sure that I could get it for you!"

Merlin smiled encouragingly at Lancelot, still helping him stay upright. He waited patiently for Lancelot to find whatever words he was looking for.

"My... my lord. I am at your command."

Merlin's heart dropped to his stomach as Lancelot dropped to his knees, kneeling before Merlin just as he did when he pledged his fealty as a knight to Arthur.

"Lancelot, what are you doing? Get up!"

Lancelot, with a sickening level of obedience, immediately rose to his feet, awaiting further commands. Merlin reeled backwards, away from Lancelot, and doubled over, feeling nauseous. What had he done?

Why had this happened?! He knew that the ritual had worked, he could feel it when Lancelot's soul reentered his body, so how was Lancelot devoid of his own will? What had gone wrong?!

As Merlin spent several minutes bowled over, trying to keep himself from hurling up his dinner all over the ground, a wolf howled in the distance, shocking Merlin back into reality. He took a deep breath and glanced back over to where Lancelot was still standing, wearing a terrifyingly blank expression.

He would fix this. He had to. But right now, they needed to get to safety before they could come up with any plan going forward. Swallowing thickly, Merlin called out to Lancelot.

"Come on, we need to get back to Camelot. Gaius might be able to help us fix whatever's gone wrong with the ritual."

Lancelot nodded without hesitation, and they both set back on the trail towards Camelot. It was slightly harder for Merlin to sneak into the castle with another person with him, but he was able to make it work. Eventually, they made it to Gaius's chambers, who jolted awake at the sound of his door slamming open.

Gaius's annoyance at his rude awakening was terrifying enough for Merlin, but it was completely overshadowed at his fury towards Merlin for performing a necromancy ritual.

"How could you be so stupid?! Of course a ritual from that tome would bring him back as your thrall! Even if he's fully healed and has his soul and all of his memories, he's now bound by your will! Any subject of necromancy sees the magic user who raised them from the dead as their god, regardless of the spell or ritual used!"

A fresh wave of dread and guilt threatened to drown Merlin.

"So, there's no way fully bring him back? No matter what I try, he'll never come back as himself again?"

Gaius slowly shook his head, breaking Merlin's last shards of fragile hope.

Lancelot, on his end, was initially very, very confused. One moment he was floating through an endless darkness, and the next he was laying on the ground in the middle of a glowing circle in the forest.

He looked around, and there he was. Merlin, standing at the edge of the circle. Lancelot smiled, glad beyond words to see his friend again, to know that his sacrifice wasn't in vain

Still, there was some odd, foreign feeling bubbling up inside of him at the sight of Merlin. But he didn't have long to ponder those feelings before Merlin was suddenly wrapping his arms around him, hugging him tightly.

It wasn't until Merlin had helped him to his unsteady feet that the foreign feeling pushed to the surface, taking control of his limbs. The thing taking over was him, but it wasn't him, but it felt like the most natural thing in the world to both him and whatever was controlling him to fall to his knees and pledge his fealty to Merlin, as if there was ever a doubt where his devotion lay.

The trip back to Camelot was a blur to Lancelot, feeling like he was both in control of himself and under the control of something else, but he didn't fight against it. No, whatever was now inhabiting his body alongside him seemed to be working with him, not against him.

Despite Merlin's panic and the unknown entity that was now in his mind, Lancelot thoroughly enjoyed the walk back to Camelot. He never thought that he'd enjoy the simply pleasures that came with having a corporeal body again, so he enjoyed everything from feeling the dirt under his boots to the wind on his face.

When they reached Gaius's chamber though, and he revealed the true consequences of Merlin's efforts to bring him back from the dead. Panic, horror, and betrayal washed over Lancelot in a split second, but those feelings dissipated as soon they appeared.

While Lancelot could chalk up his immediate forgiveness towards Merlin as the work of the foreign entity that now resided within his body, Lancelot knew deep down, in a place in his heart where the entity couldn't touch, that his feelings of forgiveness and acceptance towards Merlin was his and his alone.

Because the truth was that, even before Lancelot stepped into the veil, there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for Merlin.

And this post is getting too long, so I'll cut it off there! From here, the au focuses on people's reactions to Lancelot's return and Merlin's tremendous amounts of guilt for what he's done to Lancelot. Lancelot has some days where he's pretty much his old self again, and other days where he's deeper under the thrall's control.

Because everyone can see the very disturbing sight of Lancelot under the power of the thrall, everyone in the castle (except for Merlin and Gaius) believes that Lancelot was resurrected by an evil sorcerer and enchanted by him to try to destroy Camelot, but they also believe that he's valiantly beating back the sorcerer's enchantment with the power of sheer willpower and friendship and is slowly getting better.

It breaks everyone's heart to see Lancelot's will robbed of him, but it hits especially hard for Gwen, Arthur, and the knights to see the strongest, most noble man they know have to fight every single day for his own free will. Merlin, meanwhile, vows never to give Lancelot any orders, as he will not stoop so low as to bend his dearest friend to his will, but even despite not explicitly giving Lancelot orders, the thrall still sometimes takes over his friend and seeks him out. The only order he ever gives the thrall is to just do whatever Lancelot wants to do, but even that sometimes doesn't work and the thrall just stands there, looking at him blankly.

Well, that's enough angst for today! Let me know if you'd like to see a continuation of this au! Until next time!

And as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

Emrys and the Once and Future King

Hello everyone! I'm back with another au! Enjoy! :)

This au picks up at the battle of Camlann, where Morgana uses a spell to deactivate Merlin's aging spell. All of Camelot's forces look on in horror as the old sorcerer on the ridge turns out to be Merlin. Merlin himself looks devastated by this.

Morgana then begins goading Merlin by loudly revealing all his secrets to Arthur, Gwen, and all the knights on the battlefield, intending to make sure that he could never return to Camelot. She reveals that he is Emrys, all-powerful, magic incarnate, the son of the Triple Goddess, and a god of the Old Religion in human form. He is the the most feared creature in all of Camelot, and they never even knew it.

Merlin, enraged by this, viciously fights Morgana with his magic. Mordred abandons his goal of battling Arthur to rush over to Morgana's side, trying to defend her from Emrys's wrath.

Merlin, still carving a path of destruction and death through the battlefield, doesn't hesitate to strike Mordred down with lightning. While Morgana was too busy being stunned and horrified by what just happened, Merlin takes Mordred's fallen dragon-forged blade and runs Morgana through with it, ending her for good.

The remaining soldiers in Morgana's Saxon army, now decimated and seeing that their leader is dead, killed by a force far more powerful than she herself, turn around and flee, desperate to avoid being slaughtered at the hands of a god.

With the Saxons gone, the battlefield of Camlann goes quiet, with the only sounds being the quiet whistling of the wind blowing through the valley. Camelot's knights are frozen in fear and shock, looking at Arthur for guidance for what to do next.

However, Arthur himself is frozen still too, unable to tear his eyes away from Merlin, the man who he trusted more than anyone, who was never even a man to begin with. His manservant, who was secretly a god the entire time!

But Merlin has his back turned to Arthur, and is simply gazing out into the distance. He turns around though, and he meets Arthur's eyes for a split second, before vanishing into thin air.

A second later, Arthur could swear that he heard Merlin's voice whisper along with the wind, "I'm sorry."

Staring out across the now empty battlefield, Arthur had no choice but to shakily order the knights to pack up and return to Camelot. There was nothing left for them here.

They returned to camp and started the journey back to Camelot in silence, everyone's minds reeling from what had just happened. The sudden revelation of Merlin's true nature had left Arthur, Gwen, and the knights terrified and unsure of everything.

Once back in the safety of Camelot, Arthur has a huge breakdown, wondering how the hell he's even alive if the man he's bossed around for the past ten years was actually capable of brutally destroying an entire army with a wave of his hand the entire time. How had he survived if he had been humiliating a god every day for years, a god whose followers had been slaughtered by his hand!

Their return to Camelot had been stressful to say the least, all of them on edge despite their victory. Yes, Merlin Emrys had ensured their victory, but who knew what plans the god had for Camelot now that his true nature was revealed?! What revenge would he enact on the kingdom responsible for the purge?!

These thoughts haunted Arthur even as he returned to his chambers, changed himself into his nightclothes (and ignoring the fact that the god of magic had been dressing him for the past decade), and fell into a fitful sleep.

Arthur was shocked and terrified when, in the morning, he was awoken with a very familiar "Rise and shine, dollophead! You have a full schedule today!"

His heart stuttered with terror as his eyes shot open and beheld the sight of Merlin, smiling and looking as he always did, as if nothing had changed. His heart pounded with sudden fear as he leapt out of bed, scrambling for something, anything to defend himself with against the man who had once been his closest friend. But, Arthur's mind hissed at him, what good would any sword do against a god?! He was as good as dead already!

Merlin Emrys, to Arthur's shock, didn't even bat an eye at Arthur pulling a blade on him and set the tray full of breakfast on the table, completely unphased.

"Come on, we don't have time for this, Arthur! Just sit down and eat your breakfast while I pick out your clothes for the day."

Arthur's however, didn't move from his place against the wall. Did he really think Arthur was stupid enough to fall for something like that?

Well, Arthur's mind hissed again, you were stupid enough to mistake a god for an manservant for ten years.

Emrys simply rolled his eyes, his impatience now showing, and Arthur braced himself to be hit with the full force of divine wrath.

Something in the air shifted, and Arthur suddenly found himself sitting at the table without having moved a muscle, with the breakfast tray in front of him.

"There we go! Now, please hurry up and eat. I didn't even steal one of your sausages this time! So, for today, do you want to wear your training gambeson or your more formal set?"

Arthur said nothing in response, too busy staring, petrified by fear and bewildered beyond words, at the god of magic lay out his clothes for the day.

The rest of the day goes on like this, with Merlin pretending like everything's normal while Arthur, and everyone else in the castle, is completely terrified by Merlin's presence alone. But, they can't really make him to leave.

Knights who draw their swords at the sight of Merlin find that their blades turn to dust as soon as he looks at them. The servants who see him, who have no doubt heard the disturbing news about his true nature as Emrys, scream in terror and run away at the sight of him.

Even Guinevere, who was sitting on her throne next to Arthur when she saw Merlin out of the corner of her eye, holding a pitcher of watered down wine like it was an ordinary day, tensed up with fright, her hands gripping the arms of her throne and her breathing picking up as her mind replayed memories of Merlin, her dearest friend, raining death down upon Camlann.

Eventually, Arthur gathers enough courage to ask Merlin why he's still here, what he wants from Camelot, and what it will take to have him spare Arthur's people.

And Merlin's response is to simply smile and tell Arthur that he will not leave. He is Arthur's servant, and there's nothing Arthur can do about that other than accept it.

TL;DR:

Arthur, fearing for his entire kingdom: Please, Emrys, just tell me what you want! I'm sorry about treating you like a servant! I'll do anything, just please spare my people!

Merlin, doing laundry and desperate to avoid his life changing in any way: I'm :) your :) servant :)

Wow, I wasn't expecting to wake up to the news that Merlin's trending again, but I love it! To celebrate, here's another au prompt!

In this au, Arthur finds out about the prophecy of Emrys and the Once and Future King, and, in true himbo fashion, he knows that Merlin is Emrys, but he doesn't know who this "Once and Future King" is supposed to be. So, of course, he gets insanely jealous, thinking that some random guy with a powerful magical sword is going to swoop in, steal his throne, take Merlin from his side, and usher in an era of peace while Arthur is cast aside, forgotten.

Arthur simply cannot accept this, even if this Once and Future King is supposedly Merlin's soulmate, the one who will complete him. So, when Arthur repeals the ban on magic, he includes the stipulation that if the Once and Future King is ever discovered, he should be immediately executed on the grounds of high treason for attempting to steal the throne.

Mordred, distraught and turning to Merlin: Shouldn't well tell him?! Merlin, completely unphased: Nah, he'll figure it out eventually.

Arthur also gets hints from the druids, who are trying to get him to figure out that he is actually the Once and Future King, but Arthur always misunderstands their hints.

Druids: The time of the Once and Future King is at hand, sire. He has already taken up his holy sword, and his people rally behind him, inspired by his leadership and valor.

Arthur: This motherfucker already has his magic sword AND an army?! MERLIN! Send word to Leon to ready to knights for war!

I'm gone. I'm a few episodes into s2 and I'm lost on them. I went to sleep thinking about them. I woke up thinking about them. There's no escape

You know, I didn't think that one of my most popular posts would be a joke about Arthur's troll stepmom, but I'll take it!

Now I definitely have to incorporate this into my next au!

You know what's one thing I'm disappointed we never got in Merlin? After the troll episodes, the entire event was never brought up again!

I mean, I understand if the people of Camelot would rather forget about the whole thing, but Arthur had a troll for a stepmother for like a week and Merlin never teased him about it later on?!

I would really like to write a fic or au some day set in the Golden Age where it's discovered that dragonlords got their powers from being descended from ancient powerful dragons that shapeshifted in humans and had half-human children.

And Arthur's reaction is to turn to Merlin and go "So what you're telling me is that one of your ancestors was deranged enough to sleep with a dragon? That certainly confirms my theory that your insanity is passed down through your blood."

And of course Merlin immediately fires back, "And remind me Sire, which of our family trees includes a troll?"

Arthur sputters for a moment before shouting that that doesn't count, she enchanted his father and the whole thing was a trick, before Geoffrey pipes up and says, "Actually sire, as it was an official wedding, Queen Catrina the Troll was officially added to the Pendragon family tree. And as the marriage was never formally annulled before her death, she cannot be removed from the record."

Arthur's left horrified by this, while Merlin's laughing his ass off.

I just think a scene like that would be neat!