Thanks For Tagging Me @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu! I Think It's Safe To Say That I'm Absolutely Screwed

@onegirlintheback suggested that the machine should be violently shaking, and I couldn't agree more!

Look at him go! :D

Washing machine…. Have you put Merthur in a washing machine? Might you put them in a washing machine?? /lh /nf

Well, I couldn't fit them both in there, so here's Arthur on spin cycle! Enjoy!

Oh, I like this!! I am devouring this au idea like it's popcorn!

What if the reverse situation is also true? What if little Merlin grows up with a shadow that always has a cape and sword, that always tries to physically attack anything that threatens Merlin, and it can somehow attack people and animals by attacking their shadows.

So, when Merlin and Arthur meet each other, neither comments on the other's oddly shaped shadow, nor how they both feel inexplicably connected to the other's shadow, almost as if the shadow is as familiar as their own should be.

It takes Merlin very little time to realize that Arthur's shadow is actually his own, connected to Arthur due to their shared destinies, while it takes Arthur quite a bit of time to recognize why the silhouette of Merlin's shadow seems so oddly familiar.

But, Arthur does strike up a bizarre companionship with Merlin's shadow once he realizes that it protects Merlin from bandits and magical creatures. Arthur is also intrigued at the combat possibilities that the existence of this shadow warrior presents, especially after he witnesses it slaying an unkillable creature of magic by slicing off the head of its shadow.

Merlin, meanwhile, simply commiserates with Arthur's shadow at how hard it is to keep the prat alive.

I love it!

Concept:

Imagine Merlin had been Arthur's actual shadow. I'm speaking shadow shadow. Like, Arthur keeps talking to his literal shadow that has a different shape than it should have.

His shadow has magic. The darker it is, the more powerful it becomes. When Arthur was younger, he would sleep with candles on next to his bed. Then he'd realise that his shadow is really kind.

The older they get, the more protective his shadow is. Arthur named him Merlin.

Lmao, I based this on an a post about zombies but I realised... I painted this before!!!! It's literally the cover for the Merlin's magic one Shot collection on wattpad.

... I sort of forgot

The funny thing is... I based this picture on a foto of a pinterest dude who fotographed his own shadow but it had flowers as eyes. Dandelions I believe.

Some days it really does feel like it's me and my 300 open ao3 tabs vs reality.

Poll Time!

Thank you all so much for your support on my latest au post! It's been a while since I did one of these, and my drafts folder is getting pretty full, so I want to hear from you all on what the next au post should be!

Note: all of these will be posted eventually, but this poll will just help me decide which ones to finish up first! I'm going keep these options as vague as possible though, so I don't spoil much!

Happy voting! I'm looking forward to seeing what you all pick! :D

"[Character] has the brain cell."

Yes, they do have the brain cell, but unfortunately, the singular brain cell that they possess is an astrocyte, the most common type of brain cell, and not a neuron.

Astrocytes play a role in the structural support of neurons and maintaining a healthy balance of neurotransmitters, so that character's singular brain cell is simply there for support. It isn't actually there to do any thinking.

This is a good point. Arthur, either willingly or subconsciously, always has a simplified (and somewhat idealized) version of Merlin in his head, which lets him treat Merlin without respect up until he actually needs Merlin's wisdom and guidance, but then he immediately reverts back to treating Merlin as he always has.

While I was watching the show for the first time, I thought Arthur treated Merlin like an emotional support teddy bear. The teddy bear is soft and comforting and keeps the nightmares away, and Arthur takes Merlin with him everywhere, even where he isn't needed, as a child with a favorite teddy bear might. But that teddy bear, in Arthur's eyes, is only an object, only there to comfort its owner, so why would he care about the teddy bear's wants or needs? It doesn't have any anyways!

This is why Arthur drags Merlin everywhere with him, regardless of what Merlin himself wants. And, like a favorite teddy bear, Merlin gets dirty, torn up, and damaged from the job of being there for Arthur, but Arthur never notices, too stuck focusing on what Merlin should do for him to see Merlin's current state.

Merlin is kind of like a dog to Arthur. I mean this in all of the good and all of the bad ways.

(doppelganger Merlin au. Arthur is looking at two Merlin's, who both have all of Merlin's memories, except the imposter doesn't have magic. which is perfect, because the real Merlin lied so flawlessly to Arthur that imposter Merlin would have a real chance to take over Merlin's life. oh and, uh, Merlin was drugged w a truth serum. so he can't lie about the magic if it comes up. The imposter is able to pretend to be Merlin better than Merlin can bc ofc the magic comes up.)

Arthur: What's the first thing you ever said to me?

Imposter Merlin, confidently: Hey, that's enough. You've had your fun my friend.

Real Merlin, dazed, looking over at the imposter in horror as he realizes that the imposter has all of his memories, and that the imposter is actually capable of lying rn unlike himself, which means Real Merlin can't even keep up his own facade, but the imposter can: (says exactly the same thing in perfect unison with the imposter, but looks a lot more lost and shaken about it)

Arthur, narrowing his eyes at them both: What is your favorite tunic to dress me in?

Imposter Merlin: The red one. (It was a fair enough assumption. It was the one that Merlin picked out for Arthur to wear more than any of the others.)

Real Merlin, unable to believe he's about to admit this, but he has truth potion in his system: Your nightshirt, when you decide to wear it... It is--you look the happiest, in that one. (gay sweatdrop)

Arthur, kind of floored by the vulnerability: (was honestly expecting Merlin to say the red one, but now he wasn't so sure because that also sounded like something girlish that Melrin might say) Alright... How many times have you saved my life?

Imposter Merlin, gleeful on the inside because he finally has a chance to play Merlin's part while Merlin can't even maintain his own web of lies because of the truth potion: (to this imposter's credit, he is very good at pretending to be merlin. he starts mumbling to himself and counting on his fingers, just as Arthur thought Merlin might have done.) Let's see, there was the dagger, the poison, the... (proceededs to ramble off most every single one that Arthur himself is aware of) ... so that's about, a dozen? I'd say?

also Imposter Merlin: (places his hands on his hips in Merlin's sassy way) I'm starting to think you owe me a day off.

Real Merlin, voice shaky, because they are getting nearer and nearer to the topic of magic: Twice a fortnite for as long as I've lived in Camelot... That's got to be in the hundreds by now.

Arthur, suddenly remembering all the creatures of the week that suddenly disappeared before they became a problem. He knew of about one every month or two, but he started reconsidering if his guardian angel had been taking care of threats that he perhaps DIDN'T know about: Erm... (still can't tell who the real Merlin is, because one of them is giving all the answers he's looking for and is acting exactly like he would expect Merlin to, but the other Merlin is being so damn earnest right now, as Merlin was wont to do in times of crisis) What is--what's an honest truth that you've told me that I have mistaken for a lie?

Imposter Merlin, knowing that he's being quizzed on the memories of their shared history, without missing a beat: Valiant's shield. It was enchanted with those snakes. You got into a world of trouble for confronting him about it in front of the entire court. (aka exactly the answer that Arthur was expecting from the real Merlin)

Real Merlin, with a knot in his throat and tears in his eyes because he knows he's doomed: (the first instance that came to mind was that time he saved Gwen's father from sickness using magic and Gwen got thrown in the dungeons for being an alleged sorceress--and of course that was his first thought, he is very very paranoid about the magic so it's all he's thinking about--he has to say the first one for the sake thought for the sake of honesty, even though it's damning) Gwen's not the s-sorcerer... I am. (is also making exactly the same face that he was making the day that he told Arthur about Valiant's shield, the face where he is pleading for Arthur to believe him. The imposter only has access to Merlin's memories through Merlin's eyes, so the imposter wasn't able to see what Merlin's face did that day, so he wouldn't have known)

Arthur, now even more unsure, just gapes for a moment because how fucking stupid does someone have to be to confess to sorcery in Camelot? Twice?! And it was worse yet that he still couldn't tell for sure which Merlin was the real Merlin because he'd never had to combine the image of Merlin with magic before and gods damn it all he needed a moment to process: (decided to start asking Merlin questions about himself instead of quizzing him on information that Arthur already knows) Who was your first love? (fully expecting to hear Gwen's name, although, Merlin was quite flamboyant....)

Imposter Merlin: It was Will... (blushes a little, looking flustered and matter of factly at the same time, in that awkward way that mimics merlin perfectly) You met him, in Ealdor.

Real Merlin, sneering at the imposter in the way that he did Cedric when he was bitter about replaced by a possessed man in the Cornelius Sigan incident (a/n: even though the episode I mention in this line is a totally different one. I think I mix referenced a lot of episodes in this ramble actually): H-her name was Freya. You killed her.

Arthur, alarmed: Killed her? Wh--Merlin--not Merlin--Merlin? (stammers on how to address this Merlin, tosses his hands up after 0.5 seconds) I do not recall killing any village girls in Ealdor..!

Real Merlin, shaking his head: She was the bastet. It wasn't her fault, she was cursed by a sorceress to become a bastet at night. It wasn't your fault either, you did what you had to; I don't blame you for what happened.

Arthur, suddenly remembering that night, remembering how Merlin was reaching for the dangerous feline beast as if it were only a kitten, as if Merlin was going to pet it, or shield it from Arthur, or any other number of things that also seem so very Merlin. Arthur hadn't even considered it before, but now? Looking back? Merlin certainly had been remarkably upset in the passing days after that: (more confused than ever) Wh... Where did -- where were you, yesterday? (Gaius already told Arthur that Merlin was at the tavern)

Imposter Merlin: At the Rising Sun. Gwaine took me out for a round of drinks. Something about a lucky charm?

Arthur, nodding along: (it was true that Arthur has heard Lancelot and a few other knights call Merlin a lucky charm) Hm... (turns to look at the other Merlin)

Real Merlin, with a wobbling lip: (laughs weakly, rolling his teary eyes a bit) I told him to stop using that excuse... (refocuses) I was crawling out of the mirror, if you must know. I TOLD you I had a funny feeling about it. (motions to the imposter) (he has tears in his eyes and a smile on his face, and his voice sounds exactly the same as it did that one time when he said to Arthur 'you're certainly not' after Arthur told him that no man was worth his tears)

Arthur, now watching Real Merlin more closely than Imposter Merlin, searching: Who was your favorite guest to mock at the feasts and whatnot?

Imposter Merlin: (kind of stumped bc he wasn't expecting a question like this)

Real Merlin, who is actually able to answer first after some thought: ..... (snorts) Does-- (snorts again) Would the Lady Catrina count as a guest, d'you think? Or should I--no--I'll say it was the Lady Vivian. You get this, LOOK on your face every time she sits near you at the banquet table when she comes 'round.

Arthur, jaw dropped in mock offense: Because she is rather touchy! We've been over this..! (doesn't even realized that he just responded to Real Merlin as if he were for sure the real Merlin, and momentarily forgot that there were two convincing Merlins present)

Imposter Merlin: Are you mad? Arthur, the fake me said it himself that he crawled out of the mirror and practices sorcerery..! (looks so earnest, so genuine, but it's just... not quite how Merlin would say it)

Arthur: (narrows his eyes at the imposter with slight suspicion)

Imposter Merlin: (gives Arthur a flat look, exactly like the real Merlin would do when Arthur says something stupid) Arthur, I am not a sorcerer. You would know. (a/n: last episode style)

Arthur, who had never once suspected magic, but did always know that Merlin had been keeping a secret from him (he'd always assumed it was the alcoholism, but now....): You'd think so, wouldn't you.... (glances at the real Merlin, looking a little hurt)

Real Merlin, not denying the magic at all: I was born with it. I use it for you, Arthur.

Imposter Merlin: You can't honestly--

Arthur, looking deep into Real Merlin's eyes: Swear to me, right now, that you are telling me the truth. Prove it to me.

Real Merlin: (grabs the hidden dagger out of the imposters hands, who had apparently been gearing up to attack Arthur, which is confusing enough all on its own because it made it difficult to tell which one of them was truly intent on attacking Arthur with it, and then charges Arthur)

Arthur, who normally has keen warrior reflexes but not when his enemies wear Merlin's face: (freezes up, and then watches in shock as the dagger clashes against the thin air about an inch in front of Arthur's chest, cast aside by some glowing shield that fades after a second)

Real Merlin: Why do you think it takes me three hours to polish your armor? Do you have any idea how long it takes to enchant the space between every link of chainmail? (drops the dagger at Arthur's feet so he knows it was just a demonstration and not a genuine attack, similar to the way that Arthur always aims just to the left of Merlin when he's throwing blunt objects such as goblets because he never wishes any actual harm on Merlin)

Arthur, blinking dazedly: (can't help but think of that one time that Merlin spontaneously became talented at juggling. it's such a strange thing to remember, and completely unrelated to the current happenings, but Merlin's smile was small and smug just like it had been that day, and it just--clicked)

also Arthur, looking slightly more sure of himself now: (needs one final test to make absolutely certain, but he thinks he knows just what to ask) What would you have me do, if I cannot tell you apart?

Real Merlin, without missing a beat: Arrest us both. (shrugs casually) I am a sorcerer after all. Better safe than sorry.

(And that's just it, isn't it. It was just like Merlin, to sacrifice himself like that. It was just so, unmistakenly Merlin.)

Arthur, smirking in mock offense: Better safe than--excuse you, I could take you apart with one blow!

Merlin *cough*hearteyes*cough* "Emrys" Hunithson™, the one and only: I could take you apart with less than that

(In the end, Merlin walks himself to the dungeons as the imposter is arrested, just to give Arthur peace of mind so there's no pressure to second guess his decision since even if Arthur chose wrong, there is no assassin Merlin imposter on the loose. Merlin and the imposter both spend 3 days in their respective cells before the imposter finally does some decidedly out of character shit and Arthur can have him executed with full confidence that it's not Merlin... since the guy really was very good at mimicking Merlin. Arthur didn't even realize that he'd needed it at the time, but looking back, he probably would have had a panic attack as the imposter was marched to be hanged. He probably would have doubted himself at the last second and wondered if he really did believe the right Merlin those few days ago. But thankfully, Merlin thinks ahead sometimes and is actually quite thoughtful and wise on these such rare occasions.)

You know what's one thing I'm disappointed we never got in Merlin? After the troll episodes, the entire event was never brought up again!

I mean, I understand if the people of Camelot would rather forget about the whole thing, but Arthur had a troll for a stepmother for like a week and Merlin never teased him about it later on?!

I would really like to write a fic or au some day set in the Golden Age where it's discovered that dragonlords got their powers from being descended from ancient powerful dragons that shapeshifted in humans and had half-human children.

And Arthur's reaction is to turn to Merlin and go "So what you're telling me is that one of your ancestors was deranged enough to sleep with a dragon? That certainly confirms my theory that your insanity is passed down through your blood."

And of course Merlin immediately fires back, "And remind me Sire, which of our family trees includes a troll?"

Arthur sputters for a moment before shouting that that doesn't count, she enchanted his father and the whole thing was a trick, before Geoffrey pipes up and says, "Actually sire, as it was an official wedding, Queen Catrina the Troll was officially added to the Pendragon family tree. And as the marriage was never formally annulled before her death, she cannot be removed from the record."

Arthur's left horrified by this, while Merlin's laughing his ass off.

I just think a scene like that would be neat!

Sillies

Masterpost

Hello everyone! Since this blog has grown much more than I've anticipated, I figured that it was time to organize everything into a masterpost so people can find my different au's more easily. Happy reading! :D

Fics on AO3:

What to do When an Eldritch God Decides that You're Friend-Shaped: A Guide by Sir Leon the Long-Suffering: here

Archeologist Merlin and Immortal Camelot au: here

I would find you, darling, in any life: here

The Sweet Innocence of a Dragon: here

Mitosis and its Consequences (featuring art by @griffonskies!): here

AU Prompts/Ideas

Balinor lives: Part 1/1

Merlin controls the Knights of Medhir: Part 1/1

Arthur thinks Merlin's a fairy: Part 1/1

Arthur becomes Emrys's familiar: Part 1/2, Part 2/2

Archeologist Merlin and Immortal Camelot: Part 1/3, Part 2/3, Part 3/3

Arthur obtains magic dolls of Merlin and Gwen: Part 1/1

Arthur thinks that Merlin needs to get laid for the safety of Camelot: Part 1/1

Morgana wants to be allies with Emrys: Part 1/2, Part 2/2

Merlin resurrects Lancelot, not Morgana: Part 1/1

Arthur misunderstands what a warlock is: Part 1/2, Part 2/2

Merlin tells Morgana about his magic early: Part 1/1

Arthur thinks that Emrys is his real father: Part 1/1

Gwaine accidentally joins the Catha in their worship of Emrys: Part 1/1

Merlin accidentally conquers Camelot: Part 1/4, Part 2/4, Part 3/4 Part 4/4

Camelot becomes obsessed with Emrys-themed romance novels: Part 1/1

Merlin temporarily dies and Arthur loses his mind: Part 1/1

Merlin has an army of baby dragons: Part 1/1

Merlin refuses to leave his job as Arthur's manservant even after being revealed as Emrys: Part 1/2, Part 2/2

Modern au with Gen Z druids worshipping Merlin as Emrys: Part 1/1

Arthur gets forcefully adopted by his troll stepfamily (aka the post that broke containment): Part 1/1

Merlin is part fae: Part 1/1

Arthur is already king when Merlin arrives in Camelot: Part 1/1

Arthur is commanded to worship Emrys by the Disir: Part 1/2, Part 2/2

Arthur is reincarnated as an MI6 agent assigned to watch Emrys: Part 1/1

Emrys is a spirit possessing Merlin (sort of): Part 1/1

Arthur gets put on a magical trial but Merlin will always find him innocent: Part 1/1

Historians find documents from a prank war between Arthur and Merlin: Part 1/1

Arthur tries to fight Merlin after a magic reveal, written like a video game boss battle: Part 1/1

Merlin in the 21st century gets cast in a show about himself, but plays a knight: Part 1/1

Arthur knows Merlin is Emrys but thinks that the Once and Future King is someone besides him: Part 1/1

Merlin GIFs:

Merlin in the microwave: here

Arthur in the microwave: here

Merlin holding a spinning Arthur: here

Arthur holding spinning Merlins: here

Uther spinning in a blender: here

Uther gets squished: here

Merlin juggles Arthur: here

Merlin and Arthur both in the microwave: here

Merlin and Arthur on a hot dog roller: here

Merlin and Arthur roasting: here

Arthur spinning in a washing machine: here

Merlin spinning round the tumblr logo: here

Arthur spinning in a wizard's orb: here