Ok, I Know That I Said That I Was Done With This Au For Now, But @achillesuwu Has Infected My Thoughts

Ok, I know that I said that I was done with this au for now, but @achillesuwu has infected my thoughts with a glorious idea that I had to add onto this.

After the dust settled in the entire situation and Merlin and Arthur are settling into their new married lives, Merlin tries to slowly get Arthur more accustomed to his magic, and more specifically, how powerful his magic is. After all, Merlin doesn't want Arthur to get scared if he needs to use some powerful magic to protect the kingdom, so he figures that he might as well show his new husband what he's capable of.

But there's one issue that Merlin doesn't know about. This is Arthur we're talking about here. Mr. I-have-a-kink-for-competent-fighters himself. He's instantly turned on by both forbidden romance and badass fighters, so his new husband (and longtime crush) being not only the most forbidden thing to him (a sorcerer) and the most powerful one in the world? That... does things to Arthur.

So when Merlin notices that Arthur's breathing is getting faster when he performs god-like feats of magic, Merlin assumes that Arthur's afraid but trying to hide it for Merlin's sake. Arthur, meanwhile, is desperately trying to rein in his own dirty fantasies that pop into his head at seeing the power that Merlin wields effortlessly.

After a while of this, Arthur starts reading ye olde bodice-rippers, specifically the kind where the maiden is kidnapped or forced into a marriage with a magical beast that's much more powerful than her. Arthur thought that these would distract him from his disturbing attraction towards Merlin's powers, but if anything, they just gave his mind even more dirty material to imagine scenarios between him and Merlin.

This goes on for a while until Merlin finally realizes that his magic isn't scaring Arthur, but is exciting him instead. After Merlin realizes this, Arthur has to remind himself to thank whichever servant saved his wedding dress, as it really brought the "helpless maiden gets ravaged by a powerful magical creature" fantasy to life!

I'm sorry, but this was too good not to share! 🤣

Hello again everyone! Thank you all so much for the overwhelming support for the last part of the "Merlin accidentally conquers Camelot" au! I've had so much fun writing this au, and I'm so glad that you've all enjoyed it too! This will probably be the final part of this au (for now), since I have more au ideas to share with you all, but I'll probably revisit this au some day! For now, I'm approaching two pretty big tumblr milestones, so I'm working on an extra-special au to post in celebration of those (and I won't give anything away, but I think that this new au may be my best one yet, so stay tuned)!

Also, warning, this one is a long post! Be prepared!

Now, onto part four of this au! You can find part one here, part two here, and part three here!

As it turned out, planning a royal wedding was no easy feat.

Merlin had thought that simply adding a quick and (hopefully) painless wedding ceremony at the end of his coronation would make everything go smoothly. After all, the castle would already be decorated, they'd already have all of the important lords in attendance, and everything needed for a consort's coronation ceremony would already be there.

However, when Merlin announced to the lords and the steward in charge of preparing his coronation ceremony that he'd also need a quick wedding and coronation to take Arthur as his consort, they reacted with so much shock and horror that Merlin thought for a second that he'd accidentally announced that he was ordering their executions instead. The only person in the council room who didn't look like death itself had just appeared before him was Gwaine, who took advantage of he shocked silence following Merlin's proclamation to start laughing so uncontrollably that he doubled over and had to grab the wall for support.

Merlin had expected some shock and pushback from the council at his decision, not... this. All of the lords on the council had gone as pale as parchment, some trembling in their seats with fear. What on earth...

"Sire," the ever-unflappable Geoffrey called out, jolting Merlin from his confusion at the state of terror that had gripped the other council members, "while such a marriage would not be unlawful, it would certainly be unprecedented. I'm not questioning your judgement, I know that establishing yourself as a strong ruler this early in your reign is paramount, but are you sure that this is the best way to go about it? I'm certain that the citizens of Camelot will accept you as their rightful ruler as soon as they witness their true power for themselves, so taking the former king as your war prize isn't entirely necessary to show your dominance over the land."

The lords grew several shades paler at Geoffrey's words, and the trembling councilman sitting next to Geoffrey leaned in to fearfully hiss something into the librarian's ear. Merlin watched with growing confusion as Geoffrey's eyes went wide at whatever had just been whispered to him, and he rushed to speak once more.

"Of course, if this decision was made as some form of revenge or humiliation towards the Pendragon line, that is well within your right as a conqueror, Your Majesty. We would simply advise you to take the disgraced king as a concubine, perhaps, instead of your official consort. As a ruler, you must now also consider the issue of one day producing legitimate heirs, which can only be borne to you through your consort."

Merlin blinked, desperately trying to follow whatever logic Geoffrey was using. Take Arthur as a concubine?! Had the old man gone insane?! And Merlin certainly wasn't concerned about heirs, since if he got his way, then his reign wouldn't last longer than this week!

Still, with most of the council looking like they were being plagued by waking nightmares, they weren't likely to listen to Merlin's very reasonable objections to being king in the first place, so Merlin just had to get them off his back until the wedding.

After a deep sigh, which made most of the council members flinch back with a still confusing amount of fear, Merlin addressed Geoffrey's concerns.

"Thank you for your input, but I'm afraid that my decision has already been made on this... issue. I will be taking Arthur as my consort at my coronation, and my decision is final. And don't concern yourself with the topic of heirs, that will be sorted out shortly."

Several lords choked on the air at Merlin's last comment, with a couple outright fainting at his words. Merlin's brows furrowed even more with befuddlement. What... what had he said that garnered such a reaction?! He was just telling them not to worry about it!

(Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Merlin, the lords had a very different idea of what their new king- a powerful, brutal warlord and sorcerer- had planned. They interpreted Merlin's intent to marry Arthur as an act of revenge against the son of the man who killed off so many of his people during the purge. It apparently wasn't enough for the mighty Emrys to defeat his enemy and leave him with nothing to his name. No, this ruthless new king of theirs planned on forcing the former king into a life of humiliation and servitude in the court that was once his own. To a king, that must be a fate worse than death.

These lords, who were some of the most active and complicit members of Uther's purge, looked at the punishment that Emrys had planned for Arthur and thought if that's what happened to the king, what's he going to do to us?!)

The days went by quickly after that meeting, with Merlin's time being filled with a never-ending list of his new duties and things that needed to be done before his coronation, not to mention organizing the coronation itself and the subsequent wedding (which Arthur didn't know about yet, as Merlin had been deliberately avoiding the dungeons after his last conversation with Arthur).

It took the better part of a week for everything to finally be prepared for the official coronation ceremony. The ceremony itself would consist of Merlin being crowned in front of the court (a nauseating thought for Merlin himself), the vassal lords and knights willing to swear fealty to him taking the oath of loyalty, and finally Arthur being handfasted to Merlin and crowned consort.

Merlin was, for once, thankful for the amount of work that he had to do over the days leading up to the ceremony, as it kept his mind busy and his thoughts away from the pit of self-loathing that had taken up permanent residence in his head. After all, what kind of friend stole everything from the person they love the most in the world and then turns around and forces that same friend (and unrequited crush) to marry them?!

Merlin had attempted to rationalize his selfish decision to keep Arthur in the dark regarding his plan to reinstate him as king by telling himself that if Arthur didn't know about the wedding until the last minute, then he would spend less time worrying about it in the long run after he was king again! Besides, if Merlin's plan worked, they would only be married for a day or two, so there was no reason to get Arthur worked up over that by telling him earlier!

Truly, Merlin was not being a complete scumbag by doing this, he was just looking out for his friend's best interests and mental wellbeing! This would all blow over in a a matter of days anyways, Merlin was certain of it.

Still, Merlin found himself anxious and pacing the floor of his room on the morning of the ceremony. He had sent a team of servants and guards to retrieve Arthur from his cell and prepare him for the ceremony, so he likely wouldn't see Arthur until he was brought into the great hall for the handfasting ceremony. However, he still worried over Arthur's reaction when he learned what exactly when was being prepared for.

This worry lingered in Merlin's mind and consumed his thoughts throughout the entire day and into the coronation ceremony, so much so that his own coronation seemed like a blur to him. One moment he was standing in the great hall in front of the assembled crowd of lords and knights, and in the next, he was sitting on Arthur's throne with Arthur's crown on his head, with the crowd shouting "long live the king".

The sound of it almost made Merlin sick. Those words should never be directed at him, but he'd make this right soon enough. He just had to suffer through this ceremony to appease those disloyal lords who had turned their backs on their true king.

Perhaps the worst part of the coronation itself was the ceremony in which the lords and knights willing to pledge their fealty to him took an oath declaring such. It was no surprise to Merlin to see those weasels on the council of lords pledging themselves to save their own skin, but the knights who showed up to pledge their fealty were... very unexpected.

Look, Merlin had assumed that it would just be Gwaine and a small handful of guards and younger knights that he had roped into his mischievous scheme swearing loyalty so him. All of the other knights with their wits intact would surely still be down in the cells of the dungeon, holding true to their prior oaths of loyalty and keeping their true king company.

What Merlin did not expect, however, was for nearly a quarter of all of Camelot's knights to take a knee before him and pledge their loyalty, led by a highly amused Gwaine, who was no doubt enjoying every minute of this. Merlin quickly scanned the crowd of knights, trying to take count of who all had turned their backs on Arthur and could no longer be trusted.

Gwaine, of course, came at no surprise. Many of those assembled were commoner knights whom Arthur had taken in, including Percival, but the giant regularly got pulled into Gwaine's nonsense, so this wasn't truly that much of a shock if Merlin thought about it. There were a fair number of noble-born knights in the crowd, including all of those whom Merlin had noted had a softer outlook on magic. And then, of course, there were a decent number of pompous, high-born knights who had never given a lick about magic or loyalty, they just wanted to preserve their own wealth and power no matter the cost.

Merlin narrowed his eyes at the cluster of those knights. All the rest had logical reasons to side with Merlin, between Gwaine's persuasiveness, solidarity between the lower class, or a connection or sympathy towards magic, so they would be allowed to stay in court after Arthur had retaken his rightful throne. But these knights? These cowardly snakes had to be dealt with at the first opportunity. But how could he get rid of them without people becoming suspicious?

... Wait a minute, Merlin was king now! He might only have that title for a day or so, but in that time, he could certainly use it! (And he absolutely was not using this as a tactic to prolong this part of the ceremony so that he had a few more minutes of peace before the wedding began.)

Right, but how was he going to play this? He couldn't exactly just announce that he wanted those knights to leave because he wanted them gone before Arthur took over again.

Merlin narrowed his eyes at the group of treacherous knights and noted how they squirmed a bit under his gaze, with even some of the people around them shuddering. Right, he looked like a ruthless and powerful sorcerer to them now. He could use that to his advantage.

As the knights finished reciting their oaths, Merlin held up his hand, signaling for them to stay in place. The knights did so, but a confused and concerned murmuring started buzzing around at this strange departure from the normal ceremony. Slowly, Merlin lifted his hand and pointed at the assembled group of knights in the back.

"You lot. In the back."

The murmuring died down the instant Merlin opened his mouth and was instead replaced by an oppressive dread weighing down the ornately decorated hall. If Merlin wasn't trying so hard to keep a straight, intimidating face, he would have winced at causing such a wave of fear with nothing more than a few words.

Hesitantly, one of the called out knights stepped forward, addressing their new king.

"Yes, your majesty? Is there something you require of us?"

Merlin held back the urge to smirk as an idea, and a very satisfying one at that, formed in his head. He quietly cleared his throat and put on his most imperious "Emrys" voice that he could muster.

"I can sense insincerity in your hearts with my magic. Just as you abandoned the previous king, you would also turn your backs on me at the first opportunity to do so. Do not even attempt to deny it, you know just as well as I do that this true. I cannot trust any such men as knights of mine."

The group of knights went pale as Merlin called them out for their flimsy loyalty, and at once whispers began fly in the crowd. Perhaps they were intrigued by this show of his "powers"? Were they scandalized by this public shaming of a group of high-ranking knights?

Either way, the knights immediately began groveling, begging Merlin to let them keep their positions, their wealth, their power, but Merlin dismissed them with a wave of a hand and publicly revoked their knighthoods. The murmuring of the remaining people in the great hall grew louder as the disgraced former knights made their way out of the hall, no doubt intimidated and scandalized by how quickly their new ruler was purging his court of the disloyal.

However, with the loyal knights having taken their oaths and the untrustworthy ones having been cast out, the coronation ceremony was now officially complete, meaning that Merlin could no longer stall what would come next.

Merlin sat still on his stolen throne, trying his best not to fidget with nervousness as Geoffrey gave some traditional speech that had to be done before the doors of the great hall opened to let consort walk down the aisle to the throne.

After a couple minutes, Geoffrey's monotonous voice became nothing but a buzzing in Merlin's ears as he stared at the doors of the hall, desperately trying to imagine any scenario where those doors wouldn't open to an Arthur who was filled with nothing but rage and betrayal.

All too soon, Geoffrey's droning speech ended, and the trumpets in the hall announced the arrival of the soon-to-be-consort and signaled for everyone of lower rank to stand. Merlin's heart leapt to his throat as he jumped to his feet, even though he was the only person in the room who didn't need to. Ever so slowly, the doors to the hall swung open, revealing... Arthur.

Merlin damn near choked on his own saliva at the sight of him. He had seen Arthur in a wide range of states over the years as his manservant, ranging anywhere from sleep-rumbled to solemnly prepared for battle. But this... he had never seen anything like it.

Merlin couldn't decide if whoever had been in charge of dressing Arthur and preparing him for the ceremony ought to either be promoted to Arthur's personal tailor or immediately banished. In place of Arthur's usual surcoat and chainmail for official ceremonies, which was what Merlin had foolishly assumed the servants would dress Arthur in, there was... a monstrosity that would haunt Merlin's dreams for the rest of his life.

Merlin didn't even know how to begin to describe it. The garment that the servants had no doubt forced Arthur into, as Merlin knew that he would never wear such a thing of his own accord, was somewhere between a set of intricately intertwined robes and a dress, which hugged Arthur's shoulders, upper arms, and thighs, highlighting the muscles there. Most of the outfit appeared to be made out of a rich velvet, dyed in a majestic royal blue that both looked entirely out of place on Arthur and brought out his eyes like nothing Merlin had ever seen before. And dear gods, was that lace on there?! And why the hell did the outfit need elbow-length lace gloves?!

(The servants who had been in charge of dressing Arthur for the ceremony had assumed that their brutal new warlord would probably want his war prize to look as far from a warrior as possible, in order to further prove that he had beaten the previous rulers. So, they selected a delicate and elegant outfit for Arthur in the hopes of appeasing their new king.)

Merlin swallowed dryly as Arthur slowly began making his way down the aisle with measured footsteps. The movement snapped Merlin out of whatever temporary madness the outfit had sent him spiraling into, and Merlin finally locked eyes with Arthur.

Merlin winced at the sheer amount of rage that Arthur managed to fit into one glare as he took another step towards the throne that was rightfully his. Merlin tried to give Arthur his most reassuring smile, but he was almost certain it only came across as a nervous grimace.

Just go along with this, Merlin tried to beg of Arthur with only his eyes. Their bond had always been one that allowed them to communicate without words, and Merlin prayed that their connection would hold strong once more and get his message across to Arthur.

Neither Arthur's impressive glare nor his furious scowl let up though, but he kept his pace towards the throne steady, which Merlin decided to take as a good sign. After all, if Arthur truly did not any merit to this impromptu plan, why would he still be walking of his own accord towards the altar?

Still, as Arthur grew closer and closer to the altar prepared for the handfasting, his eyes became darker with rage as Merlin winced. Yes, this would certainly be harder than it needed to be, but this had to be done to get Arthur back on the throne! Surely Arthur would understand that!

After what must have been an eternity, Arthur finally reached the altar and, ever so slowly, walked around to stand at a fidgeting Merlin's side.

As Geoffrey began yet another speech that had to be done before the handfasting took place, Merlin quietly turned to Arthur and gave him a small smile, trying to a least let Arthur know that everything was alright, that everything would turn out fine.

That little smile, it seemed, turned out to be the final straw for Arthur. Merlin wasn't even entirely sure how it happened.

One moment, he was standing next to Arthur in front of the altar, with the only sound in the room being Geoffrey's boring voice. And in the next, there was a savage war cry coming from Arthur, who was now armed with a sword, and a decent amount of screaming coming from the crowd.

It spoke volumes about Merlin's state of mind that his first thought upon seeing Arthur run at him with a blade in hand wasn't get back, dodge! but was rather that dress is tight, where on earth did he hide that sword?

However, Merlin's sense of self-preservation wasn't nearly as terrible as Gaius accused it of being, as his second thought was I should probably try to avoid getting stabbed at my own wedding.

Reluctantly, Merlin gathered his magic, ready to disarm Arthur and hold him still if need be. Arthur could stab Merlin later if he really felt like it, but Merlin needed to at least officially make Arthur his consort and heir before Arthur did that!

However, to Merlin's surprise, rather than trying to run Merlin through, Arthur instead stabbed at the wooden handfasting altar, sinking his blade deep into it. Merlin carefully kept his eyes on Arthur as the other man viciously pulled off one of the dainty lace gloves and threw it on the ground at Merlin's feet.

Dumbfounded, Merlin stared at the thrown glove on the floor and then looked back up to stare at Arthur, not quite getting what Arthur was trying to tell him here. Did he just really hate the outfit? Or was it this whole marriage plan that he objected to?

"Pick it up."

"Huh?"

Arthur nearly started growling, his rage apparently rising with Merlin's confusion.

"It may not be a proper gauntlet, since you have denied me such a dignity, but it will suffice for this. Pick it up, King Emrys. I challenge you to a duel in single combat for the throne of Camelot. You may have defeated my sister, but you did not defeat me! I am no prize for you to claim!"

Merlin simply blinked, completely thrown off by this turn of events, while loud shouts started erupting from the crowd. By the time his mind caught up to what Arthur had said, Arthur had taken up his sword from where he had struck it into the altar and was pointing it threateningly at Merlin again.

As Merlin's shock wore off and he finally understood what exactly Arthur had just done, he had to fight back the urge to scream into the sky with frustration as yet another one of his plans to reinstate Arthur as king had just been ruined by the obstinate clotpole himself. Couldn't the prat just let Merlin help?!

With his frustration rising, Merlin glared down at the thrown glove. While a duel would certainly allow Arthur to retake the throne, Merlin wasn't entirely sure how his magic would react to such a fight. Merlin would never consciously hurt Arthur of course, but who knows if his magic would strike out in self-defense?!

And, besides, formally accepting and preparing the duel would take days. And, in Merlin's opinion, this whole farce has gone on for long enough.

"No. I will not accept your challenge."

Arthur's face went red with anger at Merlin's refusal.

"You are just as much of a coward as the rest of your kind, sorcerer! You would not even grant me the opportunity to take back what's mine!"

Merlin bit back a frustrated scream at that. Arthur would be getting his throne back if he just followed through with any of Merlin's plans instead of ruining threm!

Merlin took a deep breath and sighed on the exhale, trying the rein in his own anger. He just needed to go through with this ceremony, and then everything would be fine.

With a quick flash of gold in his eyes, which had Arthur flinching back (and didn't that just sting?), Merlin turned Arthur's blade into dust had Arthur's glove fly back onto his hand, setting everything right as it had been before Arthur had pulled out a sword and all hell had broken loose.

"That's enough! I've been trying to restore you to your rightful position as king this entire time, and yet you push back at every opportunity! I am not about to let you sabotage your own destiny! So, here's what's going to happen!"

Distantly, Merlin heard the wind outside whipping around, like his own frustration and stirred nature itself into a frenzy.

"You are going to stand here, complete this ceremony, be named my heir, and then retake your throne when I abdicate! Are we clear?"

Arthur, who still looked rather shaken at Merlin's display of magic, scowled, but still nodded his head. Merlin, satisfied by this, turned back around to face the shocked crowd.

"And do I make myself clear to all of you?! There will be no more interruptions of this ceremony, and Arthur will take back his throne!"

The frightened crowd went silent at Merlin's outburst, seemingly relenting to Merlin's demands.

Merlin then turned to Geoffrey, who was still standing in front of the handfasting altar with the rope in his hands.

"Now, Geoffrey, I would greatly appreciate it if you would get a move on here. I don't want to wear this stupid crown for any longer than I have to."

The only indication that Geoffrey gave that he was surprised by Merlin's outburst was a mere uptake of his eyebrows, rather reminiscent of Gaius's signature look. Without further ado, Geoffrey tied Merlin and Arthur's hands together, declaring them to be now married in the eyes of the gods of the Old Religion.

(Merlin tried to ignore the hurt and longing that built up in his heart in that moment. How many times had he dreamed of something like this? But he never wanted it to happen like this. This was Merlin's dream come true, but it was all wrong. In that moment, Merlin didn't dare look at Arthur, too afraid of what his dearest friend thought about this grievous overstep of boundaries.)

Immediately after Geoffrey untied the handfasting knot, Arthur's coronation as consort began. The ceremony itself went smoothly, but Merlin's heart broke both at the sight of Arthur kneeling before him, waiting to be crowned, and at the furious glare Arthur gave him as he gently put the consort's crown upon Arthur's head, officially naming Arthur as his heir.

As soon as Arthur stood from where he was kneeling, applause broke out from the crowd. Someone (Merlin heavily suspected Gwaine) started a chant of "long live the kings!", which caught on quickly. Merlin winced again at the chant, not daring to turn and look at Arthur's face.

Still, Merlin reminded himself as he took a deep, calming breath, everything was coming along. Arthur was now officially his consort and heir, and all that was left to do... was the copious amounts of paperwork finalizing his abdication.

Yeah, no. Merlin wasn't going through that process when he could just take care of it here and now.

"Citizens of Camelot, on this most joyous day, I, King Emrys, abdicate the throne!"

Even though he had made his intentions clear only a few minutes earlier, shocked whispers flew around the crowd, like they hadn't truly believed that he would go through with it.

Merlin couldn't help the grin that was forming on his face. Finally, everything would be set right again!

"I am no longer your king, and as per the laws of the kingdom, the throne now rightfully belongs to your true king, Arthur Pendragon!"

With that, Merlin reached up and yanked the crown off of his own head, marched over to a dumbfounded Arthur and, without any hesitation, replaced the consort's crown on Arthur's head with the true crown.

"There, that's much better," Merlin whispered to himself as he gazed upon Arthur, finally looking like himself again, but he was certain that Arthur must have heard it too, as Arthur's eyes went wide at his words.

But that was a conversation for another day, as Merlin was now done here. This entire calamity was over, and now Merlin was going to savor its end.

Merlin turned back to face the crowd once more with an undoubtedly crazed grin.

"Goodnight everyone! Be sure to obey your true king! In the meanwhile, I'm off to bed for my first full night's rest since this nightmare started!"

And with that, Merlin merrily skipped out of the great hall, made his way to his cramped room in Gaius's chambers, and slept soundly.

Bonus Scene!

THE NEXT DAY:

Arthur: Busts into Merlin's room

Merlin, unwillingly woken up from the best sleep he's gotten in years: Ugh, what do you want you prat?! You're king again, aren't you?! Don't you have kingly duty to be attending to?

Arthur: Merlin you idiot, you abdicated the throne.

Merlin: Yes, and now you're king again. You're welcome!

Arthur: But you never dissolved our union!

Merlin: Huh?

Arthur: A divorce can only be granted by the same ruler who authorized the marriage! You know what this means, right?!

Merlin: Yeah, that you can just declare us to be not married anymore and we can all be on our way.

Arthur: No, YOU were the ruler who authorized the marriage, and now that you've abdicated, you can't dissolve the marriage! Legally, no one can!

Merlin, turning pale: What?

Arthur, looking weary: Yes, apparently it's some legal technicality that Geoffrey cited from Bruta's code. I've spent all morning arguing with him, but there seems to be no way around it.

Merlin: So... what you're saying is that we're stuck being married to each other.

Arthur: Yes, you buffoon, that's exactly what I'm saying! Now, get up!

Merlin, feeling incredibly guilty over this entire situation: Arthur, I'm so sorry, I take full responsibility for this, I never should have forced you into-

Arthur, cutting him off: Let's go. We don't have much time before the rest of the castle is up and about, and I'd rather us not be seen here.

Merlin, confused but complying: Arthur, where are we going? Why don't you want us to be seen here?

Arthur, blushing: It would reflect poorly on the king if word got out that he let his consort sleep in this dirty broom closet on their wedding night, wouldn't it?

Merlin, blushing: Ah, I suppose it would.

And that's a wrap for this au for now! I hope you've all enjoyed this story!

A huge thank you for everyone who asked for this continuation! (and holy cow there were a lot of you!! Thank you all so much!)

@magic-mushroomss @miyriu @whole-buncha-snakess @achillesuwu @aerismoon

@tidalwavesandthunderstorms @marki9 @isaidno @retro-wallflower @samwinjester

@lascienzadellafantasia @sugar-coated-prat-dragon @theoldfroglady @ryeallytired @mind-of-a-crow

@whynotreinventmyselfeveryday @likeapaperplane @odinjm @orliththedragon @aglmry

@caraspud @aostrek-236 @justaz @slippysalt @coffee-shop-gay

@the-king-and-the-druidess @theroundbartable @fanfic-library-for-me @linotheghost @scuttlingsleipnir

@guiltyscarlet @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu @247merthur @veryroadpartystatesman-blog @verxen

@lascienzadellafantasia @jareicanon @arrowlovesdragons @juliairian @thesuperstitiousoldelf

@lovermyme @bootprivileges @rem-the-moth @hippielittlemetalhead @ole-to-you-nonetheless

@lordmushroomkat @starchaos01 @reynaharmonia @anastasia0614 @starlight-crow

@wheneverfeasible @savlikesbluengreen @fuckingdeadinsidetm @notquitehumanwrites @purplesandwichtiger

@rocks-d-xerxes @olli-is-a-fish @luluzealand2565 @dangerhumming @tireddruid

@spiralingtowardtheabyss @mundaneone @anxiousdragoncollector @catface233 @bennedict

@elementalpirate4 @bertolio @vadis-protenus @chaosofbelievers @floating-on-avalon

@merthurogies @justaz

And, as always, thank you all for reading through my ramblings! :D

I'll see you all next time!

More Posts from Ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral and Others

Poll Time!

Hello everyone! I'm back with another surprise poll for you all! While I'm working on the next chapter of "What to do When an Eldritch God Decides that You're Friend-Shaped", which will hopefully be finished over the coming weekend, I want to know what au you all would like to see next! So,

Continuation of my last au where

I'm looking forward to seeing what you all choose!


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Brining This One Back For Funsies Because I'm Thinking About The Finale Again And The Whole Butterfly

Brining this one back for funsies because I'm thinking about the finale again and the whole butterfly symbolism always fucks me up.

A random thought on the ending of Merlin (since it haunts me all the time): there are many species of butterflies that are known to feed on corpses for nutrients. Merlin's main symbol in the finale, the symbol of his own self-acceptance and reclaiming himself from the claws of destiny, was a bright blue butterfly, a symbol of death and rebirth.

The image of it is striking for me: Merlin, symbolized by the butterfly, finally accepting himself, only for those same butterflies to turn around and feed on Arthur's corpse while waiting for Arthur himself to be reborn.

I'm insane about this show, if you couldn't already tell.


Tags

"The average citizen of Camelot has committed treason" factoid is actualy just a statistical error. The average citizen of Camelot has never committed treason against the crown. Magics Georg, who commits treason every single second by simply existing, is an outlier adn should not be counted.


Tags

A random thought for today: do you think Arthur wanted Merlin and Agravaine to get along so badly because they were both the last members of his mother's family? Merlin was technically made a du Bois when Arthur gave him his mother's sigil, which would have legally made Merlin and Agravaine family.

So, Arthur sees both Merlin and Agravaine as the last of his mother's family, so he wants them to like each other or at least get along, so that he can have one side of his family that isn't marred by blood and betrayal like the Pendragon line is with his father and sister. He might see this as a second chance of having a supportive family, so he wants Merlin and Agravaine to get along so they can be one big happy family together.

God I love all of the possibilities that the sigil opens up!


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I love this!

Merlin would start tentatively questioning Arthur about the knights tailing him, trying to see if Arthur truly does suspect about his magic, while Arthur gets red and flustered with embarrassment at Merlin's questioning. Merlin mistakes this flush for Arthur holding back his anger at Merlin's betrayal, so Merlin misunderstands and takes it as confirmation that Arthur knows about the magic and that he's on thin ice.

In response, Merlin starts pulling away from Arthur, hopefully giving him space to calm his temper, while Arthur is heartbroken seeing Merlin reject his affections after he started to treat Merlin like his queen.

I like the angst potential here!

merlin notices knights trailing after him while he dashes around the castle and then they follow him into town and they follow him out into the woods and arthur is being super weird about it and none of the knights at the round table are saying anything so oh fuck arthur definitely knows about merlin’s magic and is having him closely monitored bc he thinks merlin is dangerous omg its so obvious. whole time arthur is just in his chambers giggling, twirling his hair, and blushing as he writes in his diary journal that he found old rules that were used to keep his mother safe and he implemented them for his queen his beloved merlin to keep him safe


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Reporter: How does it feel to be the worst servant in all of Camelot??

Merlin: In a city full of ass-kissers I wear it as a fucking badge of honor!

Reporter: what about the rumors that you’re always in the tavern?

Merlin: WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT


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Hello everyone! Here's another Epic au that's be rattling around in my brain! Enjoy! :D

(Also, I'll probably have one or two more Epic au's before I switch back to my usual Merlin au's.)

This premise of this au is kind of similar to my last one, but a also very different different. In this au, when mortals interact with gods or monsters, they're left with some sort of marker, as a way to show other mortals that they have gotten the attention of a powerful entity, whether for good reasons or terrible ones.

Most mortals never encounter any of the gods, so they don't have to worry about any marks, but for people who have been the subject of a god's attention or ire, they're left with a permanent reminder of it. These marks are either physical, showing up on the person's body, or take the form of some ability granted to the mortal. However, these marks can be either a blessing or a curse.

So, in this au, Odysseus has had a physical marker of his connection to Athena since a young age. Ever since he was a boy, his eyes almost glowed at night, his gaze far sharper than any humans' should be. At times, his neck could turn to a far greater degree than what was physically possible, allowing for him to quickly catch enemies attempting to sneak up on him from behind. He keeps these abilities for his entire life, even after Athena has left him.

While all of this helped make Odysseus a warrior beyond nearly any other, as the Trojan War ended and he set out to return home with his crew, he learned through many brutal lessons that the marks left behind from encountering the gods were not always a boon.

The first time a new mark (in what would eventually become quite the collection) appeared on his journey, it was as he was sailing away from the cyclops's cave, having just finished shouting his name at the beast.

After defeating the cyclops, Odysseus gains physical strength beyond anything he or his men have seen before. However, he cannot control it at first, leading to Odysseus accidentally breaking everything he holds and even accidentally injuring his crewmates just by touching them. This Odysseus fears this mark greatly, because how is he supposed to hold his wife and son if he cannot hold anything without breaking it?!

Next, when Odysseus is given the wind bag by Aeolus, he gains a mark that gives him silent steps, as if he weighs nothing more than air. He spooks many of the crew with this, but luckily they're able to adapt fairly well to this mark.

After encountering Poseidon the first time, Odysseus, to his horror, grows gills on his neck, as a cruel reminder from the god of the seas that Odysseus had escaped the watery grave that so many of his men were mercilessly thrown into, and they're by far his most noticeable mark. Odysseus spends many hours staring at the gills in horror, wondering if Penelope will even be able to recognize him when he gets home.

Hermes, much like Athena, decides to be helpful with his mark on Odysseus. His mark is a swift and sure stride, allowing Odysseus to move quicker and more nimbly than he ever had before.

After Circe, Odysseus gains yet another mark, which he is beginning to dread at this point. Circe's mark is the ability to conjure realistic illusions of just about anything, from Odysseus himself to any of the monsters he's seen.

After killing the sirens, Odysseus gains a mark from them as well. This time, he gains the ability to mimic voices, any voice he's heard. Sometimes, in the dead of night, he uses it to mimic Penelope's voice, the voice he's missed so dearly, softly singing to himself.

After Scylla, Odysseus gains his most grotesque mark yet. All of his teeth transform into sharp, ferocious fangs that are stained blood-red despite how many times Odysseus washes out his mouth. Odysseus avoids talking for a while after that, too horrified at the sight he now makes.

He certainly looks like a monster now, but his journey is long from over.

Next, after his fateful choice from Zeus, Odysseus wakes up on Calypso's island with yet another mark. This time, when Odysseus gets angry, the air around him becomes almost charged, humming with energy that sets everything around on edge, a primordial fear running through them.

Calypso's mark is put on him near-immediately after he meets her, allowing him to persuade any mortal with his voice alone. Odysseus curses the fact that the ability doesn't work on goddesses every single day for seven years when he pleads for release from the island.

The second time Odysseus meets Hermes, the god of travelers decides to bless him again with yet another helpful mark. This time, Hermes gives him the ability to locate anything he wants, including Ithaca, to guide his way home.

After outmaneuvering Charybdis, Odysseus gains its mark as well, allowing him to pull nearby objects closer to him, just like Charybdis with its whirlpools.

And finally, after Odysseus is done torturing Poseidon, he gains one last mark: his nails sharpened into long claws, the ends pointed like Poseidon's trident and permanently stained ichor-gold. One last transformation for Odysseus to become the monster Poseidon accused him of being.

For the entirety of his journey home, Odysseus hated most of his marks, despising them for turning him into something else, something not quite himself. He hated what he was becoming with each mark that took him further and further away from his humanity.

However, when Odysseus finally set foot in his palace once more only to find over a hundred suitors plotting to do terrible things to his wife and son? Odysseus finally understood. He realized, at long last, what the marks, given to him by gods and monsters, allies and enemies alike, were meant to be used for.

All of these marks that he had acquired, they had indeed turned him into the perfect monster. Namely, the marks had transformed him into a monster well-suited for hunting down any mortal that had dared to invade his home.

Odysseus doesn't even use his bow, as the string snapped under his strength when he pulled it back, ready to silence the most vocal of these pests with an arrow through his neck. Instead, it seemed like he was going to have his already blood-stained hands claws dirty.

Calling upon Aeolus and Circe's marks, he hid his presence, filling the air around him with an illusion that where he was standing was empty. Then, he silently crept forward, until he was only mere steps behind the boasting pig, which didn't even know that it was about to be slaughtered.

Using Charybdis' mark, he pulled his prey back towards him and, before anyone in the room could blink, tore the vermin's throat out with his claws.

There was a moment of stunned silence among all of the suitors prey before Odysseus dropped his illusion, revealing his full visage. His face and torn tunic drenched in the blood of a god, his blood-stained fangs bared, his gills flaring, his eyes nearly glowing in the light of the torches, his claws

The moment the prey set their eyes on him, terrified screams of "oh gods" and "what is that?" ring out from the crowd, but Odysseus pays them no mind. No, he ignores all of the cries from the crowd, because he has only one goal in mind:

To hunt.

(Much, much later, after blood has coated nearly every surface in the palace and there are no more suitors to kill, Penelope and Odysseus reunite at long last.

And if, after everything, Penelope gains a mark of her own after "slaying" the monster that Odysseus had become in order to bring her husband back to her, then neither of them would think too much of it.)

And that's all for now on this au! Please let me know if you'd like a continuation!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D


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This probably won't happen in my Eldritch Merlin fic, but I think that a scene like this would be funny!

Merlin: *Is in his true form as Emrys, which takes the form of golden, twisting strands of magic surrounded by an uncountable number of glimmering eyes centered around a blindingly bright golden light, its shape ever changing and fluid, emanating pure magic and power*

Emrys: *Speaking despite not having an actual mouth* Be not afraid!

Most of the knights: AHHH HOLY FUCK!

Leon: Sighs

Gwaine: ... You know what? Smash.

Arthur: *Turns to Gwaine* Be more afraid!


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Hello everyone! Thank you so much for all the love you gave my most recent au! Here's a continuation of the Disir au! Enjoy!

Merlin caught on quickly that there was something... different about Arthur after his return from the Disir's cave.

He was jumpy, constantly on edge, and clearly losing sleep over something. And, worst of all, he was hiding something from Merlin.

Or, more like trying to hide something from Merlin. Because Merlin knew that something had happened at the Disir's cave, and he knew that it had something to do with the old religion.

Really, Arthur should know better than to hide a wooden worship effigy of one of the gods of the old religion in his wardrobe. The very same wardrobe that Merlin digs through every morning to find some outfit to dress his royal pratness in.

But Arthur's laughable attempts at hiding anything from his manservant aside, the crudely carved effigy in Merlin's hands raised the rather uncomfortable question: what was Arthur doing hiding an object of worship tied to the old religion in his wardrobe? If he was trying to learn more about druid customs or attempting to gain some advantage over Morgana, why hide it from Merlin of all people?

And it did seem like Merlin was the only one he was hiding this from, if the knights' shifty behavior and the unusual amount of time Arthur spent with Mordred over the past few weeks was any indication.

Even Gwen was in on it! The queen had started carving out time in the evenings for Arthur to be alone in his study, doing... something. Gwen had not told him what Arthur was doing during that time, only telling him that no one, not even Merlin, was to disturb him.

It felt like the entire castle was conspiring against Merlin! And given that it was mostly likely connected to the Old Religion based off of the presence of the worship effigy, the entire situation set Merlin on edge.

(Plus, there was a strange tingling in the back of Merlin's mind that had started the night after Arthur had returned from the Disir's cave. The odd sensation came and went at seemingly random times, but it didn't hurt. No, it felt more like something inside his mind was trying to get his attention, as strange as that sounded. Merlin wasn't sure what it was or what to make of it.)

The first question that popped into his mind was "do they know?", but something seemed too strange about this entire situation for the explanation to be as simple as his magic having been discovered, as disastrous as that would be. No, if his magic was truly discovered, the reaction would be loud, explosive, like Arthur's temper. There would not be this shifty, sneaking around behind Merlin's back if that were really the case. If Arthur felt betrayed by Merlin, he would not turn to conspiracy. That wasn't who Arthur was.

So no, Merlin's magic hadn't been discovered. Merlin's next guess was that Mordred's magic had been discovered, but that too seemed unlikely, since the king's prophesized killer was still alive and meeting with the king frequently.

Perhaps Arthur was planning on brokering peace with the druids and wanted to keep it hidden from the council to avoid the protests from Uther's lords? It seemed like something Arthur would do, and the thought of it filled Merlin with hope. But still, if that was truly what Arthur was doing, he would have told Merlin by now!

So then what could it be?! What reason did Arthur possibly have for possessing a handmade worship talisman and hiding it from Merlin?!

Merlin even tried to glean some information based on which god of the Old Religion the worship effigy was dedicated to, but the face was carved so crudely that there were no identifying features, and the base was plain, devoid of any symbols of worship that could point to the identity of the god in question.

With all of his other options having been exhausted, Merlin turned to the one method of getting answers that had yet to fail him: eavesdropping.

(Gaius could admonish him all he liked for not being able to mind his own business, but the old physician couldn't deny that Merlin seeing and overhearing things that he shouldn't have had saved the kingdom at least a dozen times over.)

Fortunately for Merlin, Arthur's newfound alone-time was at around the same time every evening, right after he had finished his dinner, and Merlin knew every nook and cranny of the king's chambers better than anyone.

It was almost laughably easy to sneak into the antechambers off of Arthur's bedroom through a hidden and rarely-used servant's passageway. These chambers would normally be where the king's manservant lived, but since Merlin lived with Gaius, they were just used for storage now, with the door between the antechambers and the king's chambers remaining locked for security purposes.

All Merlin had to climb over a few chests to get to the door and peer between a gap in the door's panels, and he now had a full view of the king's chambers without anyone even knowing that he was there.

... He probably should warn Arthur about this gap in his security at some point, since an assassin could easily make use of it, but that would have to come after Merlin had gotten the answers he needed.

Merlin sat and waited, watching Arthur's back as he stood up from his desk, stretched, and started sorting through his paperwork from the council meeting earlier that day. Merlin relaxed slightly at the sight, and as he watched Arthur do paperwork and other mundane tasks over the course of an hour, he began to wonder if he had gotten all of this wrong.

Maybe Arthur had started carving out time alone to fulfill his tasks as the king more independently? Arthur had done similar things in the past after all, pulling away from his friends and believing that he should shoulder all of his burdens by himself.

With his fears appeased by a familiar and plausible explanation for Arthur's strange behavior, Merlin considered leaving for the night, seeing as how nothing seemed to be amiss.

Well, Merlin was considering leaving for the night and dropping his suspicions there, up until Mordred silently snuck through the door and approached Arthur with a nervous smile. Merlin's body tensed at the sight, his anxiety skyrocketing at the sight of Mordred so close to Arthur with no one else present.

But Mordred didn't sneak up on Arthur with a weapon in hand, but instead greeted him warmly and led him over to the chairs in front of the fireplace. Arthur sat a bit stiffly, trying and failing to not let his discomfort show as Mordred ran around the room, gathering an odd assort of supplies from various hiding places around the room. Merlin narrowed his eyes at the sight, his jaw clenching with concern for Arthur and hatred for that little snake. What was Mordred doing to Arthur?

Merlin nearly threw stealth out the window and crashed through the door when he sensed the faint traces of magic on the supplies- ritual supplies, he finally recognized- that Mordred gathered. The only thing that made Merlin hesitate was the lack of magic on Arthur. If the king was already under some sort of spell or enchantment from that treacherous bane posing as a knight, Merlin would be able to sense it.

Then why was Arthur just sitting there and letting Mordred gather objects for a ritual?! Why would he-

"I'm glad that you're taking so well to the basics of the Old Religion, sire. I'm sure that the Disir would be pleased with your progress. Now that you've gotten the hang of the general worship rituals that druids perform to all the gods, we can start focusing more on the rituals and ceremonies specific to Emrys."

Merlin jumped at the mention of his druidic title, knocking over multiple pieces of furniture in his shock. It was only a quickly placed spell to dampen sound that saved him from revealing his presence.

What was Mordred thinking?! Why was he teaching Arthur about Emrys of all people?

Or... was he trying to sow a distrust of Emrys in Arthur? Yes, that was exactly what that nefarious puppet for Morgana was doing. Turning Arthur against his own protector would allow Mordred the opportunity to drive a wedge between them, leaving Arthur vulnerable and Merlin would not allow this!

Merlin called upon his power, the magic always swirling underneath his skin, and aimed it at that snake Mordred, ready to strike him down before his plans could come to fruition. But, before he could direct his magic to strike, Arthur finally spoke.

"Thank you, Mordred. I don't know how I'd do this without you. I cannot regret agreeing to the Disir's demands, of course, but never thought that the worship of the Old Religion was this complex."

Arthur's words made him pause, freezing in his cramped hiding place. So, it wasn't Mordred pushing Arthur into this?

Hm, shame. It looked like Arthur's prophesized killer was still waiting to play his hand. Merlin would smite him with all his might when Mordred finally revealed his true colors, but it seemed like that day was yet to come.

So, it was the Disir at fault for this? They were the ones responsible for this perversion of destiny's will?

Merlin's lips curled with disgust as he watched Mordred instruct Arthur on how to properly pray to Emrys using a talisman. His irritation only increased as that buzzing headache suddenly came back.

Because this?! This was never supposed to happen. Merlin- and by extension, Emrys- was made for Arthur, to guide and protect him as he fulfilled his destiny. The druids could worship him all they liked in the meanwhile, but Arthur was never supposed to kneel before Emrys, never meant to pray to him.

Emrys is Arthur's servant, not the other way around.

This had to stop. Now.

And that's all for now! I hope you all enjoyed this continuation! I'll probably do a part 3, since I have some ideas on where this will go next!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

A big thank you to everyone who requested this continuation! I'll try to tag you all here, my apologies if I missed anyone!

@rocks-d-xerxes, @lolazoel, @griffonskies, @error-username-not-available, @thesuperstitiousoldelf

@cute1penny, @naniyo, @bogslob, @mortalmab, @celestella5

@thenerdycupcake, @fangirl553, @kintsugikid-moonysversion, @myjeandoe, @tercais

@rem-the-moth, @chaosofbelievers, @clearancecreedwatersurvival, @caraspud, @princess-of-morkva

@veryroadpartystatesman-blog, @a-line-drawn, @elliesalien, @mentallyblurrychild, @musichooman

@parker-the-archer, @scuttlingsleipnir, @sallygodessjackson, @linotheghost, @herstarlight

@larluce, @rosesareredjaybirdsareblue, @neptunesyellowsands, @that-birdy-chick, @roadsidefury

@merthurogies, @tescont, @rainbowsmagicandshit, @dreamsofapiratelife, @annoyingyaoishipper

@thedragonlies, @achillesuwu, @maeryuu, @bombshell-garden, @isaidno

@collectionoftherest, @auldsusie, @justaz, @icurlybooks, @smileytrinity


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ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral - All Hail The Hyperfixations!
All Hail The Hyperfixations!

A great selection of my incoherent thoughts!AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticNeutral01/pseuds/ChaoticNeutral01

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