Ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral - All Hail The Hyperfixations!

Uther when Gwen goes missing: "Who cares? She's just a servant. There's hundreds of others."

Uther when Merlin goes missing: "I must hunt and purchase an identical copy of Merlin for my son."

(When the family pets go missing)

Wow, I wasn't expecting to wake up to the news that Merlin's trending again, but I love it! To celebrate, here's another au prompt!

In this au, Arthur finds out about the prophecy of Emrys and the Once and Future King, and, in true himbo fashion, he knows that Merlin is Emrys, but he doesn't know who this "Once and Future King" is supposed to be. So, of course, he gets insanely jealous, thinking that some random guy with a powerful magical sword is going to swoop in, steal his throne, take Merlin from his side, and usher in an era of peace while Arthur is cast aside, forgotten.

Arthur simply cannot accept this, even if this Once and Future King is supposedly Merlin's soulmate, the one who will complete him. So, when Arthur repeals the ban on magic, he includes the stipulation that if the Once and Future King is ever discovered, he should be immediately executed on the grounds of high treason for attempting to steal the throne.

Mordred, distraught and turning to Merlin: Shouldn't well tell him?! Merlin, completely unphased: Nah, he'll figure it out eventually.

Arthur also gets hints from the druids, who are trying to get him to figure out that he is actually the Once and Future King, but Arthur always misunderstands their hints.

Druids: The time of the Once and Future King is at hand, sire. He has already taken up his holy sword, and his people rally behind him, inspired by his leadership and valor.

Arthur: This motherfucker already has his magic sword AND an army?! MERLIN! Send word to Leon to ready to knights for war!

Come back, I have to tell you the plot of a fic I’ll never write and get you excited about it so we can all be disappointed with me later

Now that the gifters have been revealed for the Round Table Gift Exchange put on by the lovely folks over at the Merlin Fic Book Club discord, I can officially post on here that I have another fic up on ao3 called "The Sweet Innocence of a Dragon"! This fic is a gift for Brechtjeeatscheese on ao3, who gave me some very cool ideas in their prompts!

I had a lot of fun writing this Mergwenthur fic, which was supposed to be 5k words but evolved into this 11k beast of a fic that's Mergwenthur getting together from baby Aithusa's POV. I hope you all enjoy!

Check it out here!

I wasn't planning on posting this today, but this idea came to me today and I must share it! (I'm still working on my special au to celebrate two big tumblr milestones! Hopefully it'll be done by the end of the week!)

With all of the dehumanizing propaganda labelling magic users as "inhuman monsters" that Uther spread during the purge, people who are attracted to magic users are probably labelled as deviants. In Camelot, saying "yeah I'd bang a wizard" is considered completely taboo. But that doesn't stop people from fantasying about what they can't have.

This, of course, spawns a whole genre of steamy romance manuscripts featuring evil sorcerers kidnapping fair maidens and falling in love with them, powerful wizards seducing innocent princess with their dark magics, dark and broody warlocks tricking naive ladies into becoming their lovers through a devil's bargain, etc. These cheesy romance manuscripts are quite popular with the ladies of Camelot, as they have a forbidden aspect to them in both the owning of such stories and the material of the stories themselves. Plus, when you're a noblewoman trapped in a loveless political marriage, the fantasy of a dark and powerful magic user becoming enamored with them and stealing them away is quite the appealing fantasy.

To many people in Camelot, magic users become the ultimate forbidden romance fantasy, being (in their imaginations) secretive and powerful creatures who can use their magic to exert their will and their dark desires on their innocent victims.

The few people in Camelot who have actually slept with magic users don't help these rumors either, as they only add fuel to the fire. Gwaine certainly has plenty of stories to share about how much fun sorcerers and witches can be in bed with their magic, and the people in the tavern listen with rapt attention and furious blushing when he tells those stories.

But when tales of Emrys, the last dragonlord and the most powerful sorcerer to ever live, travel from the druids to Camelot? The wizard-fuckers in Camelot went wild.

Within a couple weeks, there were dozens of steamy (and VERY imaginative) romance novels and manuscripts written and passed around Camelot, all revolving around the mysterious and brooding warlock Emrys.

As people's dirty imaginations ran wild with what Emrys might be like, the general perception of Emrys became more and more ridiculous. According to some of these stories, Emrys was a seven foot tall brooding warlock whose magic made him irresistible, forcing people to succumb to his will.

Pretty much everyone in Camelot gets their hands on one of these manuscripts or hears about them. Gwaine has his own collection of them, which isn't too shocking to anyone, but, to everyone's surprise, Merlin starts collecting some of those stories too (to make sure that no one else gets their hands of such embarrassing material, but people just assume that he has some sort of kink). He even blushes whenever someone mentions them (out of mortification).

Eventually, Arthur finds out about his kingdom's dirty fascination with this Emrys guy because people kept teasing Merlin for his crush on Emrys. Arthur demands to know who Merlin has fallen for (for security reasons, of course, not because he's jealous). It's at that point that Gwen and the knights have to tell Arthur that his entire kingdom (including Merlin apparently) has been thirsting over a hot mysterious sorcerer that no one actually knows anything about.

Arthur almost blows up when he hears this, furious that his entire kingdom has been having dirty fantasies about a dangerous man who's most likely their enemy! And don't even get him started on how Merlin, his Merlin, has the audacity to be more attracted to this Emrys than Arthur himself! This is outrageous!

However, no matter how much Arthur tries to point out to Merlin that being attracted to Emrys is a bad idea and nothing will ever come of it anyways, he still keeps on catching Merlin with those dirty manuscripts about Emrys! (Because Merlin is still trying to secretly get rid of them all).

Eventually, Arthur gets frustrated enough that he'll try anything to get Merlin's attention away from Emrys. He thinks over how he could do that for a while, until one day he overheard two ladies of the court talking about how much they enjoyed it when their partners in bed roleplayed as a powerful magic user like Emrys, and Arthur begrudging came to a solution.

The next day, when Arthur catches Merlin reading a story about Emrys and blushing wildly again, Arthur clears his throat, looks a mortified Merlin dead in the eyes, and asks, "if I took you to bed and pretended to be Emrys while doing so, would that finally get you over your ridiculous attraction to this criminal of a sorcerer?"

Arthur was perhaps a bit too blunt in his delivery, as Merlin promptly started choking on air after Arthur's question in lieu of an answer, much to Arthur's annoyance. You see, as much as it would irritate Arthur to have to pretend to be another man, let alone an enemy sorcerer, in bed, Arthur had a plan.

Arthur obviously needed to rein in Merlin's lust before his servant did anything stupid (like fall into bed with an actual dangerous sorcerer), and what better way to do that than slake Merlin's lust himself? Truly, Arthur was the most generous king there ever was (ignoring his own rampant attraction towards Merlin). And once they were in bed, Arthur would prove to Merlin how great and how proficient a lover he is, and any thoughts of Emrys (or any man who wasn't Arthur for that matter), would be forgotten immediately in the face of how superior Arthur is!

Arthur mentally pats himself on the back for coming up with this genius plan as Merlin's coughing fit finally ends.

"Arthur, why on earth would you even ask that?!"

"Because you're clearly enamored with this sorcerer, so perhaps this will finally get that stupidity out of your system!"

They go back and forth like this for a while, until finally Merlin, to his own shock, agrees to Arthur's proposal. Arthur feels alight with victory for a few minutes, until he realizes that he'll have to learn how to act convincingly like a powerful sorcerer for one night. At that point, Arthur goes out to buy some dark robes for himself to hopefully get more into character, and even "studies" some of those spicy manuscripts to get an idea of what Merlin would be expecting.

Arthur barely managed to finish one of them from how scandalized he was at their contents. Why were these so popular with his subjects?! Still, Arthur soldiered on, reading more and more of the embarrassing romance manuscripts until he finally felt confident in what Merlin was looking for.

Of course, when the time came, Arthur was terrible at roleplaying as a sorcerer, but Merlin didn't mind one bit (most because Merlin was torn between laughing hysterically or being embarrassed beyond belief at at Arthur's poor impersonation of a poor interpretation of Merlin himself, so he decided to instead just enjoy being with Arthur).

And that's all for now! I'm thinking about doing a continuation of this later on, where Camelot (who's been thirsting over Emrys) learns that Merlin had been Emrys all along. Please let me know if you'd like to see that one day!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

You know, I didn't think that one of my most popular posts would be a joke about Arthur's troll stepmom, but I'll take it!

Now I definitely have to incorporate this into my next au!

You know what's one thing I'm disappointed we never got in Merlin? After the troll episodes, the entire event was never brought up again!

I mean, I understand if the people of Camelot would rather forget about the whole thing, but Arthur had a troll for a stepmother for like a week and Merlin never teased him about it later on?!

I would really like to write a fic or au some day set in the Golden Age where it's discovered that dragonlords got their powers from being descended from ancient powerful dragons that shapeshifted in humans and had half-human children.

And Arthur's reaction is to turn to Merlin and go "So what you're telling me is that one of your ancestors was deranged enough to sleep with a dragon? That certainly confirms my theory that your insanity is passed down through your blood."

And of course Merlin immediately fires back, "And remind me Sire, which of our family trees includes a troll?"

Arthur sputters for a moment before shouting that that doesn't count, she enchanted his father and the whole thing was a trick, before Geoffrey pipes up and says, "Actually sire, as it was an official wedding, Queen Catrina the Troll was officially added to the Pendragon family tree. And as the marriage was never formally annulled before her death, she cannot be removed from the record."

Arthur's left horrified by this, while Merlin's laughing his ass off.

I just think a scene like that would be neat!

Gwen isn't even mad because she knows how it is when you give Merlin a lil' smooch on reflex.

Sigan: Arthur will tremble at your voice. He will kneel at your feet.

*Long pause before Merlin responds compared to any of Sigan's other statments as Merlin asks himself why certain aspects of this idea are apealing. Then Merlin reminds himself HOW Sigan means this before he can figure out his feels.*

Merlin: I don't want that.

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for all the love you gave my most recent au! Here's a continuation of the Disir au! Enjoy!

Merlin caught on quickly that there was something... different about Arthur after his return from the Disir's cave.

He was jumpy, constantly on edge, and clearly losing sleep over something. And, worst of all, he was hiding something from Merlin.

Or, more like trying to hide something from Merlin. Because Merlin knew that something had happened at the Disir's cave, and he knew that it had something to do with the old religion.

Really, Arthur should know better than to hide a wooden worship effigy of one of the gods of the old religion in his wardrobe. The very same wardrobe that Merlin digs through every morning to find some outfit to dress his royal pratness in.

But Arthur's laughable attempts at hiding anything from his manservant aside, the crudely carved effigy in Merlin's hands raised the rather uncomfortable question: what was Arthur doing hiding an object of worship tied to the old religion in his wardrobe? If he was trying to learn more about druid customs or attempting to gain some advantage over Morgana, why hide it from Merlin of all people?

And it did seem like Merlin was the only one he was hiding this from, if the knights' shifty behavior and the unusual amount of time Arthur spent with Mordred over the past few weeks was any indication.

Even Gwen was in on it! The queen had started carving out time in the evenings for Arthur to be alone in his study, doing... something. Gwen had not told him what Arthur was doing during that time, only telling him that no one, not even Merlin, was to disturb him.

It felt like the entire castle was conspiring against Merlin! And given that it was mostly likely connected to the Old Religion based off of the presence of the worship effigy, the entire situation set Merlin on edge.

(Plus, there was a strange tingling in the back of Merlin's mind that had started the night after Arthur had returned from the Disir's cave. The odd sensation came and went at seemingly random times, but it didn't hurt. No, it felt more like something inside his mind was trying to get his attention, as strange as that sounded. Merlin wasn't sure what it was or what to make of it.)

The first question that popped into his mind was "do they know?", but something seemed too strange about this entire situation for the explanation to be as simple as his magic having been discovered, as disastrous as that would be. No, if his magic was truly discovered, the reaction would be loud, explosive, like Arthur's temper. There would not be this shifty, sneaking around behind Merlin's back if that were really the case. If Arthur felt betrayed by Merlin, he would not turn to conspiracy. That wasn't who Arthur was.

So no, Merlin's magic hadn't been discovered. Merlin's next guess was that Mordred's magic had been discovered, but that too seemed unlikely, since the king's prophesized killer was still alive and meeting with the king frequently.

Perhaps Arthur was planning on brokering peace with the druids and wanted to keep it hidden from the council to avoid the protests from Uther's lords? It seemed like something Arthur would do, and the thought of it filled Merlin with hope. But still, if that was truly what Arthur was doing, he would have told Merlin by now!

So then what could it be?! What reason did Arthur possibly have for possessing a handmade worship talisman and hiding it from Merlin?!

Merlin even tried to glean some information based on which god of the Old Religion the worship effigy was dedicated to, but the face was carved so crudely that there were no identifying features, and the base was plain, devoid of any symbols of worship that could point to the identity of the god in question.

With all of his other options having been exhausted, Merlin turned to the one method of getting answers that had yet to fail him: eavesdropping.

(Gaius could admonish him all he liked for not being able to mind his own business, but the old physician couldn't deny that Merlin seeing and overhearing things that he shouldn't have had saved the kingdom at least a dozen times over.)

Fortunately for Merlin, Arthur's newfound alone-time was at around the same time every evening, right after he had finished his dinner, and Merlin knew every nook and cranny of the king's chambers better than anyone.

It was almost laughably easy to sneak into the antechambers off of Arthur's bedroom through a hidden and rarely-used servant's passageway. These chambers would normally be where the king's manservant lived, but since Merlin lived with Gaius, they were just used for storage now, with the door between the antechambers and the king's chambers remaining locked for security purposes.

All Merlin had to climb over a few chests to get to the door and peer between a gap in the door's panels, and he now had a full view of the king's chambers without anyone even knowing that he was there.

... He probably should warn Arthur about this gap in his security at some point, since an assassin could easily make use of it, but that would have to come after Merlin had gotten the answers he needed.

Merlin sat and waited, watching Arthur's back as he stood up from his desk, stretched, and started sorting through his paperwork from the council meeting earlier that day. Merlin relaxed slightly at the sight, and as he watched Arthur do paperwork and other mundane tasks over the course of an hour, he began to wonder if he had gotten all of this wrong.

Maybe Arthur had started carving out time alone to fulfill his tasks as the king more independently? Arthur had done similar things in the past after all, pulling away from his friends and believing that he should shoulder all of his burdens by himself.

With his fears appeased by a familiar and plausible explanation for Arthur's strange behavior, Merlin considered leaving for the night, seeing as how nothing seemed to be amiss.

Well, Merlin was considering leaving for the night and dropping his suspicions there, up until Mordred silently snuck through the door and approached Arthur with a nervous smile. Merlin's body tensed at the sight, his anxiety skyrocketing at the sight of Mordred so close to Arthur with no one else present.

But Mordred didn't sneak up on Arthur with a weapon in hand, but instead greeted him warmly and led him over to the chairs in front of the fireplace. Arthur sat a bit stiffly, trying and failing to not let his discomfort show as Mordred ran around the room, gathering an odd assort of supplies from various hiding places around the room. Merlin narrowed his eyes at the sight, his jaw clenching with concern for Arthur and hatred for that little snake. What was Mordred doing to Arthur?

Merlin nearly threw stealth out the window and crashed through the door when he sensed the faint traces of magic on the supplies- ritual supplies, he finally recognized- that Mordred gathered. The only thing that made Merlin hesitate was the lack of magic on Arthur. If the king was already under some sort of spell or enchantment from that treacherous bane posing as a knight, Merlin would be able to sense it.

Then why was Arthur just sitting there and letting Mordred gather objects for a ritual?! Why would he-

"I'm glad that you're taking so well to the basics of the Old Religion, sire. I'm sure that the Disir would be pleased with your progress. Now that you've gotten the hang of the general worship rituals that druids perform to all the gods, we can start focusing more on the rituals and ceremonies specific to Emrys."

Merlin jumped at the mention of his druidic title, knocking over multiple pieces of furniture in his shock. It was only a quickly placed spell to dampen sound that saved him from revealing his presence.

What was Mordred thinking?! Why was he teaching Arthur about Emrys of all people?

Or... was he trying to sow a distrust of Emrys in Arthur? Yes, that was exactly what that nefarious puppet for Morgana was doing. Turning Arthur against his own protector would allow Mordred the opportunity to drive a wedge between them, leaving Arthur vulnerable and Merlin would not allow this!

Merlin called upon his power, the magic always swirling underneath his skin, and aimed it at that snake Mordred, ready to strike him down before his plans could come to fruition. But, before he could direct his magic to strike, Arthur finally spoke.

"Thank you, Mordred. I don't know how I'd do this without you. I cannot regret agreeing to the Disir's demands, of course, but never thought that the worship of the Old Religion was this complex."

Arthur's words made him pause, freezing in his cramped hiding place. So, it wasn't Mordred pushing Arthur into this?

Hm, shame. It looked like Arthur's prophesized killer was still waiting to play his hand. Merlin would smite him with all his might when Mordred finally revealed his true colors, but it seemed like that day was yet to come.

So, it was the Disir at fault for this? They were the ones responsible for this perversion of destiny's will?

Merlin's lips curled with disgust as he watched Mordred instruct Arthur on how to properly pray to Emrys using a talisman. His irritation only increased as that buzzing headache suddenly came back.

Because this?! This was never supposed to happen. Merlin- and by extension, Emrys- was made for Arthur, to guide and protect him as he fulfilled his destiny. The druids could worship him all they liked in the meanwhile, but Arthur was never supposed to kneel before Emrys, never meant to pray to him.

Emrys is Arthur's servant, not the other way around.

This had to stop. Now.

And that's all for now! I hope you all enjoyed this continuation! I'll probably do a part 3, since I have some ideas on where this will go next!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

A big thank you to everyone who requested this continuation! I'll try to tag you all here, my apologies if I missed anyone!

@rocks-d-xerxes, @lolazoel, @griffonskies, @error-username-not-available, @thesuperstitiousoldelf

@cute1penny, @naniyo, @bogslob, @mortalmab, @celestella5

@thenerdycupcake, @fangirl553, @kintsugikid-moonysversion, @myjeandoe, @tercais

@rem-the-moth, @chaosofbelievers, @clearancecreedwatersurvival, @caraspud, @princess-of-morkva

@veryroadpartystatesman-blog, @a-line-drawn, @elliesalien, @mentallyblurrychild, @musichooman

@parker-the-archer, @scuttlingsleipnir, @sallygodessjackson, @linotheghost, @herstarlight

@larluce, @rosesareredjaybirdsareblue, @neptunesyellowsands, @that-birdy-chick, @roadsidefury

@merthurogies, @tescont, @rainbowsmagicandshit, @dreamsofapiratelife, @annoyingyaoishipper

@thedragonlies, @achillesuwu, @maeryuu, @bombshell-garden, @isaidno

@collectionoftherest, @auldsusie, @justaz, @icurlybooks, @smileytrinity

Ooh, I always love thinking about the implications of Arthur's soul being created by magic.

That's because we know that Merlin is magic itself! He's magic made human! Which essentially means that Merlin created Arthur's soul, even before he was born as a human.

Do you think that Merlin, on some level, recognized himself in Arthur the moment they met? That his soul and Arthur's were quite literally made from the same material? That Arthur is a part of himself in a literal sense, and he cannot be whole without him?

I just love all of the door that interpretation opens up for the story!

in the show’s lore if arthur is born “of magic” and therefore not “of uther” does that then make him only “of igraine” who bore him?

and then further, does that mean that, in truth, he is not related to morgana and she is the only “true” pendragon?

interesting i guess also that arthur was conceived in desperation for the pendragon line to continue and it was with his death that it ultimately ended heirless

i can hear the writers yelling being like you weren’t meant to think this hard about the show lmao

every aspect of arthur’s life being infected with tragedy hits as hard as the truck in the epilogue

anyway…as you were