Does Anyone Wanna Hold Hands Until We Feel A Little Braver

Hi! Thanks for the tag @gd-dollopole (and for thinking that my unhinged au ideas are cool 😊)! <3

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Current obsession: BBC Merlin, as it has been for two years now!

No pressure tags! @tansyuduri @sugar-coated-prat-dragon @larluce

10 people I'd like to get to know better

Tagged by @sadundefinedbread, my beloved ❤️

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Sweet/spicy/savoury: I like all of them, but sweet reigns supreme

Relationship status: Married in the same way a nun is (aka I'm too emotionally devoted to a character - or, in my case, several - to have an IRL partner lol)

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Current obsession: Besides the omnipresence of Supernatural, Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom.

Looking forward to: finishing and posting a couple of fics :3

Tagging: @pavlovianfuckery @sastielbeltscene @sammywinchesterslover @flannel-wrapped-nightmare @boykingscourt @slutsons-blog @deancaslover @castiellesbian @autisticandroids @sastielbeltscene

The cuties!! <3

Screencap redraw or something

Hello everyone! Here's a quick Merlin au idea that I might flesh out later:

We know from the show that Merlin is "magic itself", so what if all magic had a form of consciousness or spirit as Emrys? In this au, Emrys has always existed as magic's consciousness and allows magic users to harness his power, but he lacks any physical form on account of being a spirit.

However, when Uther declares war on magic and starts the purge, Emrys knew that he had to act to stop Uther. So, he decides to make a vessel so that he can directly act in the physical world, instead of having to rely on the power of his followers.

Emrys's plan was to intertwine his soul with the newborn vessel's, which would allow him to become one with the vessel and keep his memories, powers, and spirit intact. But, something went wrong while Emrys was attaching himself to the vessel, and now Emrys was stuck in a mortal form without any of his memories as a spirit. And thus, Merlin was born.

Everything after that would go pretty much the same as canon up until the last season. As the golden age neared and Morgana grew stronger, the part of Emrys's spirit that resided outside of Merlin grew more and more insistent. What was left of Emrys's spirit knew that Merlin needed to regain his memories as Emrys and reunite with their spirit to achieve his true potential, but it seemed like nothing was working!

So, Emrys tried everything to get through to Merlin, but Merlin was too preoccupied with trying to keep Arthur alive to notice any of Emrys's subliminal messages.

After a while, Emrys tried reaching out to the Druids and even the Catha to see if they could perform a ritual to unlock Emrys's memories and spirit from within Merlin. Merlin eventually figures out the truth and readily agrees to the ritual, taking any power that he can get if it means that he can protect Arthur better.

However, Arthur and the knights catch wind of this and are horrified. To them, it looks like magic itself is trying to possess Merlin!

This all culminates with Arthur and the knights being too late to stop the ritual. They watch on in horror as Merlin's eyes are permanently stained gold, and his expression holds an uncharacteristic grimness.

Arthur knows, down to his core, that what he's looking at isn't Merlin, but rather magic itself wearing his best friend's skin and controlling his like a puppet. With tears in his eyes, Arthur turns his blade on what was once Merlin, knowing that Merlin himself wouldn't have wanted magic to lay waste to the world while wearing his face.

But Emrys just rolls his eyes at Arthur dramatics. Honestly, his memories of existing as an incorporeal spirit for millennia were kind of boring anyways.

TL;DR:

Merlin gets a cool powerup, while Arthur thinks that he has to kill his best friend, who is possessed by the closest thing Camelot has to a devil: magic itself. Heartbreaking angst (from Arthur's POV) and mild irritation (from Merlin's POV) ensue!

Gwen isn't even mad because she knows how it is when you give Merlin a lil' smooch on reflex.

Come back, I have to tell you the plot of a fic I’ll never write and get you excited about it so we can all be disappointed with me later

This idea is so dear to me! Because we see Arthur self-loathing so many times, both in relation to himself and his father's legacy, but it goes further beyond that.

There's a deleted scene from either "The Tears of Uther Pendragon" part one or two where Arthur is discussing Uther's descent into madness with Merlin. Arthur reveal's that Uther's father fell into a similar state later on in life, and Merlin "helpfully" points out that he learned from Gaius that those sorts of things tend to run in families. This leads to Arthur glaring at Merlin in anger at the accidental implication that Arthur himself would fall into a similar state of madness one day.

So, we can make a logical guess that Arthur, on some level, believes Pendragon blood to be cursed with madness and bloodlust. While it doesn't really come up again later in the series, we can assume that Morgana being revealed as Arthur's sister and becoming a tyrant only further solidifies this belief in Arthur.

To Arthur, he killed his own mother with his birth, having been born a murderer and trained form that day on to be the perfect warrior. To Arthur, he is damned by his own loyalty to slaughter as many people as it takes in the name of protecting his kingdom, and he's never known a single day in his life without blood on his hands.

And, on top of all of that, madness and tyranny runs through his blood, as evident from his father and half sister.

Arthur wants so very badly to be a good king, to be kind and protect his people, but he feels like he can never achieve that with all the lives he's taken and the evil that runs through his own blood. He could not carve out the part of himself he sees as rotten more than he could empty his own veins.

That's part of why Arthur is always so awed at Merlin's never-ending loyalty and kindness towards Arthur. Arthur sees himself as good for nothing except violence, and he does not know what to do with Merlin's soft care.

“something is rotten inside of me, i have to find it and cut it out” — house song; searows

*Holds up megaphone* YESSSSSSS!!!!! I LOVE IT!!

I love stories where Camelot has preconceived notions of Emrys that were leftover from the purge! It has so much potential! Angst, humor, misunderstandings, self-reflection, it has it all! I wish more fics would explore it.

(This also reminds me of an au idea that's been sitting in my drafts for months. I should probably finish that one!)

One of the first prophecies in Albion was of Emrys and the Once and Future King. Every Seer in the realm had similar visions of the two powerful, glorious beings that would one day walk the earth. The prophecies remained prophecies for a few centuries before it began to grow into a fairytale story. Children were told stories of Emrys and the Once and Future King that would one day bring peace to Albion. Then it grew more and more as a story that people began to forget it was once a prophecy. When Uther began his Purge, he changed the story he himself had grown up hearing. He made Emrys out to be a creature of pure evil. If Emrys was magic incarnate, he couldn’t be anything other than evil. Children still heard of Emrys after the Purge, but he was a boogeyman, a villain that would snatch disobeying children from their homes and feast of them in the woods.

Arthur grew up hearing tales of the horrible, fearsome Emrys. Uther used Emrys as a tool to get Arthur to behave and be a perfect prince. Merlin heard of the fairytale version of Emrys from his mother. The Druids continued to worship Emrys as their deity but people thought them mad, he’s nothing more than a character in a story, but the Druids never forgot the prophecy. And with their Sight, their ability to recognize Emrys on sight, Uther lumped Druids in with the evilness he had slapped on Emrys’ name. He said the Druids performed sacrifices and rituals in Emrys’ name to try and conjure the demon to steal children’s souls.

Anyways, post-magic reveal Mordred calls Merlin Emrys and Arthur just freezes bc he Knows that Mordred is a Druid, and he Knows that Druids worship Emrys and would not take his name in vain or call someone else the name of their deity, and he was brought up hearing stories of Emrys being a demon, pure evil. So he just kinda. Looks. At Merlin who just grumbles about being called that but responds as if it’s normal and Arthur is a bit terrified. He’s like “You’re Emrys?” To Merlin who shrugs and is like “I guess” (unaware of the horrifying stories Uther spun of Emrys, only knowing what his mother and Kilgharrah said and how the Druids worship him).

The other knights have heard of the Demon Emrys except Percival who grew up in Druid camps but doesn’t have their Sight so he didn’t know Merlin was Emrys until right now. Gwaine laughing a little uncomfortably to break the tension and is like “So…taste any good children lately?” Arthur slaps him up back the head. Merlin just looks disgusted and confused. Mordred and Percival are offended on his behalf. Lancelot is amused by it all and sits back to watch the chaos. Leon and Elyan are shaking their heads at Gwaine’s stupidity. Why the hell would he say something like that to a DEMON????

Hello everyone! In celebration of the Ithaca saga release (and yes, I am still sobbing over that ending), here's an Epic au that's been rolling around my head for far too long! Enjoy!

In a few mythology stories, there is a theme of "if you kill a monster, you become a monster yourself." And, with the theme of Odysseus abandoning his humanity and becoming a monster being so prevalent in the second act, why not take it one step further?

What if, when Odysseus nearly killed Poseidon with his own godly weapon, some of that divine power found its way into Odysseus? What if the combined power of wielding the trident and the act of defeating a god and spilling his ichor ascended Odysseus unwillingly into godhood?

And, given what Odysseus was doing when he attained godhood, what of Odysseus specifically became the god of monsters?

By the time Odysseus has finished mutilating Poseidon and sails the short distance to Ithaca's shores, the ascension is already almost complete, despite Odysseus's resistance to it. When Odysseus finally sets foot on Ithaca's beach, he is no longer human at all. He is, in many ways, no longer himself.

Sure, he looks human enough at first glance, but his shadow writhes with twisting, monstrous forms, and his form blurs around the edges if one looks for long enough, as if he had to put conscious effort into appearing human.

It takes all of Odysseus's concentration to both keep himself looking human and to put one foot in front of the other, determined to ensure that the first time his family sees him again, they see him, not some monster.

But then, Odysseus finds the suitors. He hears Antinous speaking of killing his son and doing vile things to his wife, and suddenly, Odysseus doesn't feel like holding back the writhing, howling beasts under his skin anymore. No, no, he is going to revel in releasing them on these dogs.

Odysseus, still unseen by the suitors, lets his mortal disguise disappear in an instant, and a horrible roar has the suitors all stiffening with primordial terror, their minds frozen at the sight of something that their instincts screamed was a predator, unlike anything they had seen before.

The beast that they now beheld, which seemingly appeared out of nowhere, was horrific, with its body shifting and changing between all manner of monsters. One moment it was a hydra, then in the next it was a minotaur, and then it took the form of a chimera. The suitors watched in grotesque horror for a few seconds as the beast's body could not decide on a shape, its head and eyes and limbs always shifting, before the monster took a step towards them, its clawed foot shaking the ground.

At that, the suitors suddenly realized that this was real and that they were in a room with this creature. And then, all hell broke loose as the 108 suitors screamed with terror and scrambled away from the monster in all directions.

Then, the hunt began.

The monster chased them down the long hallways of the palace, killing any suitor it got its hands on. Some were shredded by its claws, others trampled under its feet like bugs, and some were even devoured with a single bite of its jaws. And all the while, The beast showed no mercy, no remorse, and no signs of that its bloodlust was even remotely slaked.

One suitor, when cornered by the beast, got on his knees and begged for mercy, only to be crushed with one swipe of a club that had manifested itself from the beast's body, which now took the shape of a savage cyclops.

Soon, blood painted the walls and floor of the palace, while the surviving suitors armed themselves for battle. After all, it was impossible to flee from the beast, so their only chance was to fight it.

However, at the armory, Telemachus appeared, back from his diplomatic mission and demanding to know what was happening, asking the suitors about the beast. Then, Antinous, one of the only surviving suitors, got an idea.

He ordered the others suitors to hold Telemachus down and tie him up as he explained his plan. They could still go through with their previous plot if they played this well enough.

After all, the beast out there was clearly either a punishment sent by the gods or a god in of itself. And the only way to appease a god was through an offering or sacrifice.

So, the suitors could present the bound prince to the beast as a sacrifice, which would appease the gods. After all, a blood sacrifice of a royal held great significance.

And when Penelope was mourning her poor, sacrificed son, Antinous and his men would be hailed as heroes by all of Ithaca for appeasing the monster, and Penelope would have no choice but to wed one of them.

Telemachus was screaming with rage and fear behind his makeshift gag as Antinous finished explaining his plan to the other suitors, who enthusiastically agreed to it.

Together, the suitors dragged Telemachus, his limbs bound with rope, out into the hallway, where it took the monster only a matter of seconds to find them.

Telemachus' eyes widened with shock at the sight of the monster, with its ever-changing limbs and body. The only constant feature on the beast was its ferocious glowing red eyes, which chilled the prince to the bone.

Antinous kicked Telemachus forwards towards the beast, sending him sprawling out over the floor.

"Great beast! We know not why you are here, but we humbly apologize for whatever wrong this kingdom has done to you! Please, accept this honored sacrifice: Telemachus, the prince of this land, and leave us in peace."

The monster, for the first time since it appeared, stood still, though its form still shifted fluidly. The suitors watched with baited breath as the beast ever so slowly inched forwards, towards a squirming and terrified Telemachus.

As the creature got closer, however, its form stopped changing as much, until its seemed to stabilize, taking on the shape of a giant human figure, but its body and face were featureless, simply a mass of shadows, except for its ever-present red eyes.

The now human-shaped monster picked Telemachus up in of of its hands slowly, handling him far gentler than it had any of the suitors. On the ground, Antinous and his men watched on in barely-contained excitement, overjoyed that everything was going as planned.

"I take it that you accept and are appeased by this sacrifice, great one?" Antinous, ever confident, spoke up.

The beast was still silent, giving no indication that it even heard Antinous, with all of its attention still focused on Telemachus, who was convinced that this was the end for him.

Gingerly, the creature rearranged its hold on Telemachus, until it was cradling him in its arms as a human would with an infant. The suitors look on in confusion, unsure what to make of this. What kind of monster cradled its sacrifice? Why wasn't it mindlessly slaughtering the prince just as it had the other suitors?

Then, the creature's gaze shifted from Telemachus to the suitors, filling them with an instinctive fear that told them to run. But before they could even take a step, a massive serpent's head shot out of the creature's chest, devouring all of them in a single bite. Telemachus, still bound and gagged, screamed with terror at the sight of it.

The beast, with Telemachus still trapped in its arms, started lumbering its way through the halls again, swiftly killing any remaining suitors it came across while the prince shook with terror in its arms.

After a while, the beast had finally killed the last of the suitors, leaving a trail of mutilated corpses and blood throughout the entire palace. There would be no one left inside the palace except for Telemachus and... his mother.

Telemachus came to this horrifying realization as he recognized exactly where the monster was heading. It was going to his mother's room, and the reinforced door would not protect her from this creature.

Telemachus renewed his struggles against his bindings, begging as best he could from behind the gag, "not her, please, not her!"

But the beast, of course, did not listen, and continued its path of destruction until it reached Penelope's door, still carrying the furiously squirming prince in its arms.

The doors, reinforced with bronze, did not stand a chance against the monster's strength, and Telemachus was forced to watch on in horror as his mother screamed at the sight of the beast, and he could do nothing as the monster grabbed ahold of her with a gigantic hand.

Telemachus had felt helpless and useless many times over the years as suitors invaded their home and disrespected his mother, but that was nothing compared to the sheer hopelessness and terror of seeing his mother struggling in the grasp of this monster and being unable to even move.

Now that Penelope was in his grasp, the monster slowly, almost gingerly, made his way to the throne room, trampling the scattered and bloodied corpses of the suitors that were in his path.

There, in the middle of the throne room, the beast finally sat down, halting its rampage through the halls of the palace at long last. Penelope and Telemachus, still trapped in the monster's arms, held each other as close as they could, trembling with fear at the massive, gore-covered monster that held their lives quite literally in its merciless hands.

(But little did they know that, as the hours went by, the monster would slowly shrink, diminishing in size, until it revealed a man, a very familiar man, underneath it all. And that man would like nothing more than to hold his family close for as long as he can.)

And that's all for this story! I might do a continuation if the inspiration strikes! Please let me know if you'd like to see a continuation!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

Ok, I don't really post here, but there's a Merlin AU idea that's been rattling around in my skull like it's a pinball machine and I need to get it out, so here we go:

Imagine an AU where Balinor doesn't die and banishes Kilgarrah before sneaking away so Uther doesn't catch him and can't put his newfound son in danger. Of course, both he and Merlin are heartbroken about having to be separated again after just finding each other, but they work out a way to keep in touch and occasionally meet in secret.

And this is all well and good, and everything in the show just kinda proceeds as normal up until about season 4, where we have the knights of the round table well-established in Camelot.

It'd make sense that after a few years of travelling around with Kilgarrah, Balinor would be pretty well-known and well-feared throughout all the five kingdoms as "that dragonlord who escaped the purge and now travels around on the back of a giant dragon", and people all over Albion are kinda terrified of the guy.

Rumors say that he never smiles, that he can kill a man in a split second without even utterring a spell, and can decimate kingdoms with the dragon under his total command. That makes for a formidable figure!

And then one day, Balinor is trying to sneak into Camelot to visit his son (he heard Merlin got hit by a dorocha and wants to make sure he's ok!), and the knights see him and freak out because holy shit that's one of the deadliest guys in Albion!

They're in a tense standoff, with Balinor threatening to call down the dragon on them if they don't let him through. The knights are all ready to give their lives to at least buy the people in the castle time to evacuate, when suddenly Merlin and Arthur make it to the standoff. Arthur immediately starts strategizing with his knights on how they're going to negociate with the sorcerer in an attempt to make sure that they aren't all slaughtered.

Meanwhile, Merlin just laughs and pushes through the rows of knights blocking Balinor's path to the castle. The knights, being very fond of Merlin and not wanting to see their kind little friend be brutally murdered by one of the most terrifying men in exsistence, are trying to grab Merlin and pull him back to safety or shouting at him to get back, but Merlin manages to avoid them as he walks up to Balinor.

For a horrifying moment, the knights and Arthur think that Merlin is about to sacrifice himself for them, but Merlin breaks into a huge grin, yells "Dad!", and runs right into Balinor's arms.

(Merlin and Balinor reason that now that Arthur's king, they might as well start easing him into some of Merlin's less shocking secrets)

And even more shockingly to the knights, Balinor hugs him back, asking Merlin all about how he's been doing, how are his studies under Gaius, etc etc.

And all of the knights just bluescreen. Because the math isn't mathing on this one. Hunith + Balinor = MERLIN?! Does not compute.

They're all pondering how could someone as joyful, friendly, and kind as Merlin be the spawn of a terrifying man like Balinor?? They just cannot comprehend it. The manservant who they all know and love came from this sorcerer who's name is synonymous with the threat of death and destruction??

They're all jolted back to reality however when Balinor asks Merlin if he wants to come back to Balinor's newly-renovated stronghold in the mountains (that's only accessable by riding a dragon) to learn more about one day becoming a dragonlord. And suddenly, the knight understand why Balinor's here. He wants to kidnap Merlin from them and twist him into a terrifying sorcerer to carry on Balinor's legacy!

It all basically dissolves into a long game of high-stakes tug-of-war between Balinor and the knights + Arthur, and Merlin's just enjoying spending time with his father and his friends.

Balinor will just casually crash one of their quests while riding Kilgarrah and "kidnap" Merlin while the knights fight to keep Merlin with them.

Balinor eventually gives Merlin Aithusa so he can get practice raising dragons, and the knights see it as some evil scheme to make Merlin betray Camelot and attack it from within, but damn it Merlin's already adopted the damn thing so now they're stuck with a baby dragon.

IDK if I'd ever write a fic about it since I'm pretty busy writing another fic rn, but I thought that it was a funny idea to throw out there!

PS: if anyone wants to read my current project, where I'm giving Sir Leon more anxiety with each chapter after a kinda-botched magic reveal on Merlin's part (and Merlin may or may not be an eldritch god), feel free to check it out here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54027337/chapters/136771564

Thank you all for sticking with my incoherent rambling! :D I hope you have a great day/night!

Also, please let me know if you guys wants to hear more of the ideas that pinball around in my head!

Bringing this one back because Arthur, the world definitely needs you right now 😭